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Funeral Built for Two; BB CB RP DT G.O.A.T!
Topic Started: Feb 16 2013, 01:40 AM (103 Views)
Brian Blaze


The scene opens with Brian Blaze and Christien Belanger walking through the curtain at the latest Overdrive. They walk through then look at each other as Brian rubs his eyes and Christien rubs the back of his neck as Brian finally breaks the silence.

Brian: You're attire is so three decades ago.

Christien: Yeah, well your mustache is out of style.
Both men then start laughing hysterically as they continue to walk down the hall of the Mariucci Arena.


Brian: I feel so bad Christien. I mean I want to help and I'm doing my best to help but there isn't a lot I can do.

Christien: What do you mean?

Brian: Well it's a sad day not just for the company of CZW, however, Tag Team Wrestling as a whole that the best CZW can put in front of us on Pay Per View is, those guys. A team who thinks they're hot shit because they have two wins. Two hot shot rookies who have their whole careers ahead of them here. Yet they expect us, they expect me to worry about them.

Christien: No idea what is wrong with them. Couldn't even tell you where their heads are at. I mean it's pretty damn pathetic that these guys think they are the future of the CZW Tag Team Division. It's pathetic they think they're a damn force in the Tag Team Division. They are a couple of nobodies who are benefitting from a weak division. Cream rises to the top and we are the cream of the crop. No one is even close to our level.

Brian: Also, while we are here let's make one deal to follow from now on.

Christien: Go on.

Brian: We are never going to be seen in the same place as Chris Tolwar ever again.

Christien: Completely agreed. I don't want to be in the same place as that Kenny Loggins loving loser anyways.

Brian: Ha, Dangah Zone!

Just then Chris Tolwar walks by still visibly upset about what has happened to his talk show set as Brian and Christien look at each other.

Christien: Man, that guy is pathetic.

Brian: Well what do you expect he couldn't get insurance. No one is given insurance when they enter the DANGAH ZONE!

Christien: Well said, well man are you ready?

Brian: As ready as I'm ever going to be Christien. It's going to be an eventuful few days man. Let's go we have a daunting task ahead of us. Let's get going.

The two men then shake hands as they take off and the scene fades.

The scene then reopens and Brian and Christien are standing side by side. They have a determined look on their faces. The camera then pans around and it shows a bar in front of them with twenty shots lined up. The camera then turns back to BB and CB as they look at each other and nod their heads as they walk to the bar and begin to consume each and every shot in front of them. Ten shots each and that is only the start of the night for those two. The cheer to their last shots and consume them as they slam the glass on the bar and high five. Brian then stumbles away to the washroom as Christien is left behind and he orders another round. He is dressed to the nines as he is wearing a very expensive three piece suit. A lovely young lady
wearing a low cut shirt and a skirt comes over and sits beside him. She performs a double take as she begins to speak.

Woman: Excuse me sir.

Chrsitien then looks at her as he extends his hand and shakes hers.

Christien: Hello, my name is Christien. You are?

Jordan: Hey, I'm Jordan.

Christien: Nice to meet you, Jordan.

Jordan: Where have I seen you?

Christien: Well maybe you've seen me beat people up in CZW or have seen me on the cover of the latest GQ magazine. I'm a model.

Jordan: YES! Everytime I walk by the magazine stand I can't help but notice you on the cover of that magazine. Wearing that exquisite suit.

Christien: Well you know me I'm dressed to impressed.

Then Brian Blaze walks back to the bar as he pats Christien on the back and the girl gets a lock of pure shock on her face.

Jordan: Oh my god, you are, he is....

Christien: You're right.

Brian: I am

Jordan: Ron Jeremy!

Christien can't help but laugh as Brian Blaze proceeds to look on with a blank stare. He seems to have all but checked out mentally as he is trying to process what he just heard.

Brian: Well Christien Buddy, I've been called a few things in my life. I believe that was the first reference of the hedgehog man.
Christien just keeps on laughing as Jordan then asks a question.


Jordan: What's it like being one of the most famous porn stars ever.

Brian: Not as rewarding as you would actually think there dear. On that note Christien, I'm taking off. Funeral to attend tomorrow. I will talk to you soon my friend. My lady.

Brian then extends his hand and shakes hers as he walks to the door and leaves Christien alone in the bar with Jordan. Christien is still finishing his laughter as the barkeep hands him another drink and he takes a sip.

Jordan: Wow you must be quite famous, if you know Ron Jeremy.

Christien: Yeah, I've met a few high profile people that's for sure.

Jordan: So earlier you said you beat people up for a living. What did you mean by that?

Christien: Well, I'm a professional wrestler. I'm one half of the Tag team Champions in CZW and I actually defend my titles coming up soon against a couple of doofus brothers.

Jordan: Really? A handsome man like yourself?

Christien: You'd be surprised. Yup coming up taking on Mark and Troy Brooks. The Revolting Brothers or something along those lines.

Jordan: That sounds like a terrible name.

Christien: Most times you'd be correct in saying that is a terrible name. However, once ya see the two of them you realize that the name could not be more spot on. I have not seen more disgusting, sorry excuses for wrestlers in my life than I have when I seen them. The term revolting is spot on. It amazes me what people pass off as "competition" these days.

Jordan: Sounds like these guys aren't that great.

Christien: They aren't, all they are is enjoying the benefits of beating equally pathetic teams to get their true shot at the best this company has to offer. They're pathetic as well. Two brothers who take orders from one of the brothers' girlfriend. I mean sack up and forge your own path.

Jordan: That sounds like one messed up threesome.

Christien laughs as he takes a drink.

Christien: It absolutely does haha. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they were more into each other than that rat they have running around with them. Man she's an annoying little thing someone needs to put her to sleep. Like nails on a chalk board anytime anyone has the unfortunate time of hearing her talk. That Brooks boy she is dating must be legally deaf. What is Bo and Luke.

Jordan: Those are the Dukes of Hazard cousins.

Christien: Right ummm, Alec and Stephen.

Jordan: Those are Baldwin brothers.

Christien: Mary-Kate and Ashley?

Jordan: The Olson twins man.

Christien: Blue and green?

Jordan: Those are colours.

Christien: You know what it doesn't matter what their names are. I could literally care less and I don't have to remember the names of people who don't matter to someone as drop dead gorgeous as me..... Bacon and Eggs?

Jordan: Just..... please stop. You're just not..... please stop Christien.

Christien can't help but enjoy a chuckle as he finishes his drink and the barkeep instantly brings him another as Jordan grabs a drink herself.

Christien: Well regardless on how I feel about Ken and Ryu. What remains is clear. They are simply a colossal waste of time and the fact that Brian and I even have to waste out time at Desperate Times with these guys is beneath us completely and a simple annoyance that will be dealt with so we can finally move on.

Jordan: Speaking of getting beneath you....

Christien then looks up as he gets a smile across his face. He grabs his drink and finishes it as she finishes hers. He leaves a large bill on the bar and grabs her hand and leaves the bar as the scene fades.

The scene reopens with Brian Blaze walking into a church. There is a woman standing by the door wearing a lovely dress as Brian takes off his sunglasses and places them in his pocket as he grabs a prayer sheet from the nice lady. He smiles at her and talks.

Brian: I'm just as surprised I'm here as you are my dear.

Brian then nods as the lady smiles and Brian walks to the very front of the church and takes a seat. He unbuttons his suit jacket and even takes it off as he is wearing a black vest under with a black dress shirt and no tie. His hair is pushed back as he looks around and sees the church is filling up quickly. He then notices Christien Belanger making his way tot he front of the church his sunglasses still on wearing the suit he wore last night as he sits next to Brian.

Brian: Christien, see you had a long night.

Christien: Ron Jeremy, nice of you to be here. You see Brian?

Brian simply shakes his head as Christien laughs a bit then stops and grabs his head clearly suffering the effect of a hang over. Brian just laughs.

Brian: If you were ya know good at drinking like I am. You wouldn't get hangovers.

Christien: Whatever man. Funerals make me weird. Why did you put this together.

Brian: I put this together for a death has occurred and we have to honor the death and not only that celebrate the life it had Christien. What better way to do that than with this funeral.

Christien: Whatever you say boss man.

Just then everyone stands as the priest makes his way to the podium with the microphone. He then motions for everyone to sit down as everyone does and he begins to speak.

Priest: Welcome my brothers and sisters. We are hear to honor and celebrate a life that has been taken away from us far too soon. I am glad to see so many people here to show their respect towards this individual and am happy to be the one here taking in this experience with you. With our father in heaven watching over this we know he is always with us to help us get over this tough loss. With some more words of this passing and the eulogy. I ask Brian to please walk on up here Brian.

Brian then stands up as Christien pats him on the back. He makes his way onto the small stage constructed and to the podium where he shakes the Priest's hand as the Priest takes a seat. Brian then adjusts the microphone as he looks out to the people in the church.

Brian: Thank you Father. For those of you who don't know me I am Brian. I know the person lying in this casket next to me and it is with great sadness I stand before you having to be the ones to see these words. We are going to miss you. If the events that transpire in the next few days occur it is going to do nothing but get worse. I have known this person for years now and it saddens me deeply that I have to stand here in front of you all experiencing this loss as well. It's been really hard coming up with the words to say for this however I am going to do my best to contain my emotions and speak from my heart.

Brian then clears his throat a bit as he continues his speech.

Brian: You see lying in this casket is a tradition. It is a tradition that isn't just dead but will be repeatedly stabbed again if things change in a few days. You see when Christien and myself go to the Mack S. & E. Complex for February 18th we are going there as the true defenders. Defending the honour of our friend who's life we celebrating here today. We are going there to make sure the deceased is not disgraced in death but instead respected as it should be. That happens by taking our stance and beating the holy hell out of The Brooks Brothers.

Some people gasp as Brian looks around and he locks eyes with the priest who motions for Brian to continue.

Brian: Sorry, you see these boys they claim to be a Revolution. They call themselves the Revolution but what are they? What kind of sweeping changes are they bringing to CZW? The only thing they are changing is taking the CZW Tag Team Division from one of the most prestigious tag team divisions in the WORLD and changing it to a pile of garbage not even the sanitation worker wants to touch. You see in order for this division to stay on top it needs Belanger. It needs Brian Blaze. It needs a team that people can look at and say yeah, this is what Tag Team Wrestling is. I'm Brian Blaze. I am Tag Team Wrestling.

Brian then removes the microphone from it's holder as he begins to walk around.

Brian: Yet here we are. We are here in this church, on what would otherwise be a beautiful day. Birds chirping, sun is out, some snow is on the ground sure but that shouldn't deter you from thinking today is a beautiful one. Yet here we are. Fifty of us in god's house and we are all in mourning. Mourning a horrible loss. Fearing that the future is going to make this loss even worse. You see I love this more than anything. I can no think of anything else at this time. This loss is racking my brain yet here we are.

Brian then places his hand on the casket and pauses. He looks up to all the people in front of him. Some sitting stoically some with tissues and openly weeping.

Brian: Yet I look around. I think deep to myself. We don't have to endure this loss. We shouldn't be here mourning this loss we should be mourning another loss. We should be buryign the losers not the winners. Which is where I come in. I'm not here to bruy you friend!

Brian then opens up the casket and pulls something out. He turns around with his Tag Team Title over his shoulder and he holds out the other and hands it to Christien.

Brian: I'm not going to let Tag Team Wrestling stay dead. I'm not allowing Tag Team Wrestling to go the way of the macarena or some other horse shit fad. Tag Team Wrestling is art and god damn it I am it's savior. I AM TAG TEAM WRESTLING! The resume doesn't lie it's why I'm here. To resurrect Tag Team Wrestling. The Brooks', The Revolution, Miss Michelle's puppets. You are not anywhere near our league for these belts. Let alone ready to take them from us. So let's not mourn the death of Tag team Wrestling. Let's mourn the death of real competition in the tag team division.

Brian looks at Christien who gets up. He then goes to the back and grabs a few buckets. He then begins to pour what appears to be buckets of shit into the casket as everyone but the priest is getting up to leave being appalled by the smell.

Brian: We are burying the competition. Compared to me the competition is nothing but shit. Whether it's the Demolition Crew, Gunslinger Saints, Big Nuts, The Revolution it doesn't matter to us. I am the GREATEST OF ALL TIME! I am ready and better than anything and anyone you put in my way! What we need to do is bury the shit. Bury it so deep it burns in the earth's core. Let it burn so it doesn't try and rise back up and zombify anyone. Bury it and get rid of it for good! That's what I'm going to do. That's what we're going to do. It starts with The Revolution. I'm holding a Revolution of my own. I'm flushing the shit. You are nothing to me. You are not a threat to me. I am the GREATEST OF ALL TIME! What are you? You're another notch on the belt. Christien and I know something aboutn notches on the belt.

Christien: I hooked up with a girl last night..... sorry Father.

Brian: Your little streak isn't impressive to me. Then when you suffer your first loss. No one will even care about you. What they will care about is Brian Blaze, Christien Belanger and what we are doing. Saving Tag Team Wrestling.... in CZW and all over the world. Welcome to the big time Revolution. You're going out in a Blaze of Glory!

Brian then walks over and grabs his coat and leaves the church as Christien is close behind. The camera then pans around and shows the priest still sitting there as he stands up and speaks.

Priest: Amen.

The Priest then walks forward towards the casket and closes it as the scene fades.
Edited by Brian Blaze, Feb 16 2013, 02:45 PM.
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