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Insurrection; A prequel on Blue, also featuring Red
Topic Started: Oct 31 2015, 08:45 PM (475 Views)
NumberSoup
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Social Justice Rogue
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Hello all. Over the past week and a half or so, I've been planning the first three parts of, and writing the first part of, a prequel of sorts to Blue's current adventures. Except, it's not really a prequel, and largely a standalone work that happens to feature Blue, Red, and some other spoilerific characters. They'll all be referred to by their actual names here, just so you know. This took me maybe three days to write, and this one is pretty short, 750 words and like fifteen minutes of in-universe time, so expect future, probably longer, chapters to come sporadically. Expect retroactive edits, though I will mention anything major when I do them.

Enjoy! Feedback is very welcome.

Chapter 1
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NumberSoup
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Social Justice Rogue
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A two week wait, but this chapter is over 1600 words. Feedback continues to be welcome.

Chapter 2
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Talist
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Guy with all the talking animals
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Anne is Blue and Nathan is Red, right?

Overall, I like having rather long sentences rather than the short ones, but I know that seems to be an unpopular opinion. I like sentences like the last one where it contrasts the view of the character with what's actually happening. Although, who are those protesters and what exactly do they want?
Something something, play my game. I dare you. http://s15.zetaboards.com/DTG_Forums/topic/10508000/1/#new
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NumberSoup
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Social Justice Rogue
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Talist
Nov 15 2015, 10:22 PM
Anne is Blue and Nathan is Red, right?

Overall, I like having rather long sentences rather than the short ones, but I know that seems to be an unpopular opinion. I like sentences like the last one where it contrasts the view of the character with what's actually happening. Although, who are those protesters and what exactly do they want?
Yep.

Eh, I generally only use shorter sentences for action scenes, for two reasons. One, it gives the effect of a fast pace. Two, it covers up the fact I can't write action scenes. :mspa:

Thanks, I had to rewrite that last bit quite a few times to make sound "train of thought" like.

The protesters... They want freedom, and they want it now. Down with the crown, and whatnot. Next chapter will be full of exposition about them and other things.
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NumberSoup
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Social Justice Rogue
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I just did a relatively minor rewrite of both previous chapters. There were few, if any, content changes, so there's no need to reread if you don't want to. I just made it ...better. You can probably tell the difference, though maybe not.

The next chapter will come... well, I'd like to plan more of the plot first. It also depends on what happens to MSPA.
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NumberSoup
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Social Justice Rogue
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Three months later...

Chapter 3
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NumberSoup
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Social Justice Rogue
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Yeah, this isn't happening, at least not in the foreseeable future. While this isn't really related to DTG, I'd like to just... move on, yeah? Also, Blue and Red are nearly completely different people here, and while that's kinda the point, it's too confusing.
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