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A state of emergency has been declared
Topic Started: Dec 10 2007, 11:18 PM (726 Views)
disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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No doubt many of you will have felt the ground shake a few minutes ago, and some nations may have suspected an earthquake, but observers at the bunker on the Regional HQ are reporting a massive impact in the vicinity of Britains Empire. They have confirmed that the unidentified object was indeed a giant banana, and minutes ago it hit the ground generating an explosion of approximately 80 megatons.
Professor Hans Jobb of the Nocastle Institute of Technology described the event as: "Well wicked like!"
Currently it is impossible to assertain what, if anything, remains of Britains Empire. West-Side officials are preparing to launch a number of rescue parties to evacuate survivors. A number of smaller fragments of banana have been ejected from the explosion, as well as a number of rocks blasted from the surface. Scientists are currently attempting to plot the trajectory of these ejecta.
It appears the map of England may have changed for ever.
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P-17
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Political Correctness Junkie
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Officials representing P-17 have offered to provide aid by offering survivors a new home in P-17. "After all" the lead spokesman stated "P-17's landscape has much in common with that of Britain's Empire, noteably the charred earth and scorched rock."

The refugees will be provided with new homes, and "plenty of hard labour, to take their mind of the trauma."

P-17 can confirm that recon teams are surveying the area, in order to see how P-17 can "make some easy money."
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Cynocephali
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Newcomer
[ * ]
Shit man. You nuked the freakin dude !!!
Like, weren't we all commited to no first use and other crazy stuff like that. Shit man, it's all gonna kick off now.
I gotta find my dealer and get me some quality crack man. I sure don't wanna be straight when the big one hits.
I'm outa here dude. Later guys. Way later !

CC
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Leetuania
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Lord
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What? we have no banana's? we have no banana's today
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Xenigon
Whatever Ithy Wants Him To Be
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*steals the pieces of banana*

*makes a banana boat*
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Ithania
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Wishing You Happiness
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
The Faithful Administrator of Veletarna has notified the homeworld that it would probably be wise to watch out for “giant evil space monkeys” or a bunch of very advanced psychopathic practical jokers with too much time on their hands.
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P-17
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Political Correctness Junkie
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I reckon Monkey Woo Woo has something to do with this...
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Nivogal
Unregistered

Out of the fall out from the destroyed banana, a reconnaissance fighter from Nivogal passed over the region that was once Britains Empire.

Doing a radar scan, the pilot saw something moving......

He radioed in, speaking in French:

"We got contact on the ground.....It appears the banana has produced......offspring!"

Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

"This is not good" :ph43r:
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Morekai
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Serf
[ *  * ]
The physicists of Morekai are looking pretty smug about this. What'd I say, eh?

I'll be sending in teams of scientists immediately to ascertain what caused the growth of such a huge banana - and more importanly - where it came from.

Banana soup anyone?
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earl of yonkings
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Posted Image


Posted Image

Posted Image


It's all gone banana crazy!! They could be mutants at anytime!! Run for your lives. (But watch the skins)
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asxtc
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Andy
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It seems the "Banana" fallout has also caused the illness of the forum, known as:



Icon virus
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Nivogal
Unregistered

earl of yonkings,11 Dec 2007
01:16 PM
Posted Image


Posted Image

Posted Image


It's all gone banana crazy!! They could be mutants at anytime!! Run for your lives. (But watch the skins)

yea, that isn't work safe :( :ph43r:
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Glerica
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Squire
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Reports coming in from all sides in Glerica:

Quote:
 
GBC - Glerican Broadcast Corporation Special Report
Reporter: Jayne Squishem
A massive impact in central England has shocked the entire region to its core, several hours ago an explosion reaching up to 60 megatons was seen in the region of  Britain's Empire.  The flying Banana (or The Big Yellow) as it is more affectionatly know) colided with the nation, possibly wiping out millions of lives.  This devestating effect can be seen incredibly clearly from the DPL satelite "Map1", with the cloud still setling over the area.  More news as it arrives...


Quote:
 
GGNS - Glerican Government Network System Exceprt
Taken from time of impact from Glerican Embassy in Britain's Empire
Embassy:Reporting in - BREmbas988, we've just felt a massive explosion!
Central:Was it an attack?
Embassy:Negative, much larger.  Maybe a nuke but we're safe, the building has taken a beating... strange gooey yellow stuff all over
Central:We're sending a distress team immediatly, stay put.
Embassy:We pretty much have too.  If we go outside we slip all over the damn place


Quote:
 
FAUX News Network - URGENT NEWS
WE'RE AL GOING TO DIE! ARRRGH REPENT! REPENT NOW! ITS TERRORISTS WITH NUKES AND FLOODS AND BIRD FLUR AND EVIL IMMIGRANS WITH BOMBS! RUN! ALL IS LOST! -- Main story at eleven.
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asxtc
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Andy
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Lights/vibration/alarm goes of on all IPhones in the land...the following appears on the screen...

**Official ASXTC IPhone MMS weekly release**

/cue 3 seconds of national flag...blend to Andy in sumptious office..."There will now be an announcment by Andy Leader of the English Settlement of ASXTC..

Peoples of ASXTC,
On this weeks MMS i would like to take a little bandwidth to explain our reaction to yesterdays inpact..

/cue clips of army trucks driving through banana residue spraying up like water..

Nuclear Banana Cleanup (NBC) teams are deploying along the ASXTC border area which had previously been evacuated prior to the impact of the Banana-Bomb. At this time it is unclear how much collateral damage has been caused to ASXTC`s sovereign land but initial official reports suggest that the rabbit hutch at the end of Mrs Tillthwaite's garden has been destroyed. Mrs Tillthwaite will be fully re-imbursed for her loss from the emergency fund set up by the regional landlord /murmer if theres anything left after the cigars have been aid for..

/fade back to Andy lighting a cohiba.

All residents of SSW-Somerset are to remain in the holding areas they have been allocated, until such a time that it is deemed safe for them to return. The cleanout...erm I mean cleanup is expected to last no more than 8 years.
Thanks..till next week then..

/Fade Andy out..5 seconds Flag...then fire up vote selection screen

"If you think Andy has handled the Banana situation well Press 1 on your IPhone now."

You are again reminded that not voting is an offence under Rule 978765
End of broadcast
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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I just want to remind everyone that I have claimed 7% of the remaining landmass of Britains Empire. :P
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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New Drakensberg Range,15 Dec 2007
10:30 PM
I just want to remind everyone that I have claimed 7% of the remaining landmass of Britains Empire. :P

That claim may be disputed by other nations though.


What is the name of your base?
Whereabouts is it? (There are islands north, south, north-west and south-west, and also the remaining mainland north or south)
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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My base is called NDR Armed Forces Abroad (AFA) Alpha Outpost.

My troops have landed on the southern tip of the mainland. As I post this, the men of the 4th NDR Infantry Brigade have been put onto transport ships and are being transported to the base. They are being escorted by the 7th Naval Group, and the 17th and 31st Air Group is providing aerial cover for the ships as they sail across the sea.
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P-17
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Political Correctness Junkie
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
P-17 forces land on the northwestern isle, naming it the Isle of Lies.

A base to the east of the island is established, with the purpose of "Market research of the banana-zombie demographic. Plus anyone whos anyone has a seedy base on a remote island."
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Youngtung
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Knight of England / Surviving Old Guard
[ *  *  *  * ]
From the Youngtung News Network (YNN): A strange, large yellow object followed by a blinding white flash was seen to the north in the empire today. The Youngtunian Science & Metaphysical Institute has dispatched observational craft to figure out just what the heck went on. As for the local reaction, here in Xerafor, locals were positive to the large explosion, one man even saying, "Oh heck yeah -- we done wiped out another one!"

No official announcement has been made by the government at this time, though leading political advisors are suggesting the reaction will be highly favourable of whatever happened.
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Citizens in DPL also observed the flash in the sky, and a police unit have been sent to the impact site, on the Youngtung border, to investigate.
Their first report makes it clear that the object is not made of banana, but instead appears to be some kind of rock, presumably blasted from the surface of BE.
The substance is unknown to us, but scientists have described it as "stubborn and unyielding", and predict that it may be useful in various industries.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hmm, whatever it is is...

a rock
stubborn
unyielding

My God, could it be that BE himself has impacted Youngtung. :D
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P-17
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Political Correctness Junkie
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Well, after reading about the mining possibilities...

P-17 is officially claiming the Isle of Lies. This is because:

- Our nation was built on exploitation, and we believe we can exploit these mysterious resources for our's and England' benefit.

- Despite owning territory on either side of the Overleaf Ocean, P-17's territories are a long way from the central area of England, as well as Civil HQ. Our only neighbour, Xenigon, has left to snuggle up to Ithania. It's lonely out here, and it would be pleasent to have a base near other nations in England.

(also, the map is my favourite bit of the forum, and it'd be nice to have more playing around on photoshop to do)
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Nivogal
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Expect to see some Nivogalese military opposition to yous both :D :ph43r:
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P-17
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Political Correctness Junkie
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Bring it on. I'm sure me and NDR will see the benefits of working together to keep you out B)
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Nivogal
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NIVOGALESE SOCIALISM FOREVER! :wings: :ph43r:
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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P-17, would you be willing to discuss the possibility of a military alliance between yourself and I?

Nobody would mess with us if we teamed up. *NDR starts speaking ghetto language, and starts making rather obscene gestures with his hands*

Yeah, I fink those whiggers on the streets will make fast when they see us two showing our stuff, innit blood.
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P-17
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Political Correctness Junkie
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I think i'd better do the ghetto language from now on... But yes I welcome the possibility of a military alliance.
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Nivogal
Unregistered

New Drakensberg Range,16 Dec 2007
11:06 AM
P-17, would you be willing to discuss the possibility of a military alliance between yourself and I?

Nobody would mess with us if we teamed up. *NDR starts speaking ghetto language, and starts making rather obscene gestures with his hands*

Yeah, I fink those whiggers on the streets will make fast when they see us two showing our stuff, innit blood.

You do realise i have a large population, yes? :ph43r:
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Special Press Release from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Although we have had to keep these reports secret for the last few days, the Rhanukhani government has now permitted us to make public recent maneuvers carried out by the proud, upstanding soldiers and workers of our armed forces.

Following the recent impact of the now famous "Banana" in the nation of Britain's Empire, observations from the Rhanukhani State Space Station confirmed the near total annihilation of the aforementioned state. The First and Third armoured divisions of the Rhanukhani Workers' Army were immediately mobilised and marched non-stop out of staging posts in the province of Harghattoria across the deserts of southern ASXTC into the remaining mainland regions of the former Britain's Empire. General Reese Tumbledryer, commanding the operation, personally planted our great nation's flag and claimed the peninsula west of the desert in the name of His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman and the hard working citizens of Rhanukhan. This new colony has already been named Lazarastra and workers and citizens will be selected by lottery to be transplanted there during the coming days (compliance is mandatory). Swift exploitation of the area's resources is expected to follow.

Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Harghattoria - 20:35, 16/12/07)
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Nivogal
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OOC - I'll get to this later today. i got some RL stuff i'm preoccupied with :( /OOC :ph43r:
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