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The Great Banana Rush
Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,475 Views)
Glerica
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Article from Zeitgeist!

NDR'S BELATED APOLOGY FINALLY ARRIVED

After many months of pain and suffering the Glerican people have been put through after a mindless act of pure aggression of sinking the GRS Liberation, the government of NDR have finally offered some comfort to the families of those lost by accepting responsibility and apologising for their actions. In an official statement released earlier today, the Glerican Foreign Affairs Secretary, Miles Kilometre, said "We accept this appology and will use the compensation offered from the NDR government to build a better, bomb-proof warship just to make sure it won't happen again" and then, once an aide whispered into his ear "forget that actually, we'll be giving the money to the families of those lost... yes, that'll do."

Although the Glerican government have accepted this act, there are no current plans to enter into negotiations with the NDR government for defensive pacts or other such alliances. "We certainly won't be sharing the Splort stuff anyway!" blurted out Kilometre before being pushed off-stage. Many political commentators are sceptical of the apology, presuming that NDR - suffering military losses and recent economic troubles - are grasping at straws for security in the FBE area, especially after recent astral discoveries and the Rhanukhan incident.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Statement from the NDR Foreign Minister, Jeff Goldblake, to the Rhanukhani ambassador in Englesburgh, Mathew Dessert-Trolley.

Sir, we look forward to seeing this evidence you have commented on regarding the NDRNS Phoenix. Her sinking caused emotional pain to many people. NDR wishes to see whoever is responsible for the sinking harshly punished.
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Glerica
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From Glerican Science Magazine

COULD SPLORTING BE THE SAVIOUR?

Amid new threats of astral objects colliding with earth, we ask the inventor of Splort Technology, Doctor Jane Rodgers, whether this new technology which has already been so useful in both military and commercial operations could save the region. "Well theoretically, Splorting can get anything anywhere instantly, so I see no reason to see how it's not possible" she looks around before saying "In fact I should be saying this, but I'm already in talks with the government about the first space-splort! It's so exciting!"

So just how would it work? "Well, theoretically the potential distance for a person to Splort is infinite, given that the splorter has enough energy. Therefore, we could splort a splortranaut onto the surface of the object and get them to either place an explosive device - or my personal favourite - a splort bomb and watch the results! What exactly is a splort bomb? "It's a new device I've developed with the military... all it is is a one way device that generates a splort field around an object and teleports it to a designated place. It's already being used by the Glerican Police force to splort criminals directly to a cell or police van, so we could technically splort the astral object to say, here on earth or into the centre of the sun if it's no use to us."

Well there you have it, splorting could be the one that saves us all. Either that or were all doomed.
Next Issue: Monkeys - Can they learn Contemporary Jazz?
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New Drakensberg Range
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Statement from the NDR Foreign Minister, Jeff Goldblake, to the Rhanukhani ambassador in Englesburgh, Mathew Dessert-Trolley.

Sir, after a discussion between members of the NDR government, including the Prime Minister Sam Houselion, it has been decided that New Drakensberg Range should revoke its trade agreement with UI. We understand, now, that UI posed a threat to international security, and thus should not have been supported by NDR giving the country the means by which it could improve its economy, and therby improve its ability to threaten the region of England. The government of NDR hopes that it can improve relations between NDR and your country. We should not be enemies.
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Telegram to NDR Foreign Minister, Jeff Goldblake, from the Rhanukhani Embassy, NDR

Greetings Mr Goldblake,

Ambassador Dessert-Trolley kindly forwarded your message to me earlier today. His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman is delighted to hear you have finally realised the danger posed by United Idiocracy and also hopes for relations between our two countries to return to their former level of amicability. His Resplendence would also be greatly interested in hearing your opinions regarding the mysterious objects currently falling into orbit over England.

Best regards,

Allistair Ballustrade, Rhanukhani Foreign Minister
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
+++VOICE PATTERN RECOGNISED - PASSWORD ACCEPTED - WELCOME TO THE MALACHITE EVOLVING ENTERPRISES MASTER NETWORK, PROFESSOR LUCY SIDEBOARD - COMPLETE SECURITY CLEARANCE AND COMMAND GRANTED+++

They're here, computer - I can't believe they showed up so fast, but they're here - just like he said! Connect me to all the GBI-2 primaries! It's time to put everything in motion!
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Fourth interview with Constantine Malachite. Agent Delores Spicerack interrogating.]

DS: Malachite!

CM: Agent Spicerack - a pleasure, as always. I have to say I'm unimpressed with the quality of the food in this facility.

DS: Don't mess me around, Malachite!

CM: Perhaps we should just get on with this interminable business then?

DS: Hn! Tell me Malachite, why do you just sit there and listen to these accusations? I saw you - heck, I felt you! - in action in your residence the other night. You could easily take me down - and Agent Snowshovel over there! - and just walk out of here.

CM: I'm well aware of the armed squadron behind that two way mirror, Agent Spicerack... and the second squad just down the corridor - you're clearly not taking any chances. A wise move I might add. Please don't think I'm naive enough to start something just so your boffins can attempt to gauge the limits of my abilities.

DS: You've done something to yourself, haven't you? Something like your armies of GBI-1 super... soldiers... oh no!

CM: What seems to be the problem, Agent Spicerack?

DS: How many are there like you, Malachite? How many have you made that look... human?!

CM: Ah, you have me there, Agent Spicerack... yes, I'll admit - the legions of GBI-1s I've sold all around England aren't the only product of the GeneTech Banana Infantryman project.

DS: How many, Malachite?

CM: It would be impossible to say, given their reproductive method - I'd really only have records of the primaries...

DS: Reproductive method? Oh my... "Nomming"! It's been happening everywhere! All over the world!

CM: Yes, I have seen the news, Agent Spicerack - I suspected most of the reported attacks would be my - ahem! - tourists in action.

DS: Tourists? What are you - that's why you set up RhanuTour! We never could figure that one out! Waitaminute!

CM: Hmm?

DS: Why are you suddenly being so open about all this?

CM: Well... you see, shortly it will no longer -

*beep! beep! beep!*

Ah!

DS: Ah? What's that sound?

CM: The alarm on my watch, Agent Spicerack... it would appear they are just about to begin, as I predicted.

DS: Just about to...? Who? What?

CM: All will become clear very soon I expect, Agent Spicerack, very soon indeed.
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Rhanukhani State News Network Night Time Bulletin]

Good evening viewers. The time is nine thirty and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

Just What Are They?: Scientists across England have had their telescopes and other instruments pointed at the curious swarm of celestial objects all day. The large, knobbly, brown objects - some as much as a whole mile across - swept through the solar system in a matter of hours early this morning and have been falling into orbital positions all over the planet throughout the day. Experts are puzzled both by the objects' apparent ability to reduce speed and maneuver into positions but also the fact that these positions are disturbingly directly over major population centres!

Speculation has been pretty far rang.......

*static*
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Simultaneous broadcast on all of England's television and radio channels]

*static clears, revealing the wrinkled, pinkish features of a gangly humanoid figure. Although dressed in a flamboyantly coloured and decorative armoured uniform, its body is clearly covered by a coarse dark brown hair, except for its face, large ears, long dexterous fingers, toes, palms of its hands and soles of its bare feet. Beneath its curiously flat nose, its broad, flexible lips part and begin to move in what is clearly speech - speech which arrives in viewers' homes across England, conveniently translated into the local dialect.*

THIS IS FLEETMASTER BOOHUBALSS OF THE SYMYANO! YOUR WORLD HAS BEEN SELECTED FOR COLONISATION AND ASSIMILATION INTO THE SYMYANO HEGEMONY! THIS IS A HIGH HONOUR FOR YOUR WORLD. ALAS, IT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE FOR YOUR PRIMITIVE SPECIES, WHICH WILL BE ERADICATED TO MAKE WAY FOR SUPERIOR SYMYANO COLONISTS! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RESIST US. OUR AGENTS HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED YOUR WORLD, GAINING POSITIONS OF POWER AND AUTHORITY WITHIN YOUR GOVERNMENTS, YOUR SCIENTIFIC ESTABLISHMENTS, YOUR BUSINESS CORPORATIONS! WE HAVE BEEN UNDERMINING YOUR SOCIETY FOR YEARS AND, IN ORDER TO PROVE OUR MILITARY SUPERIORITY, DEPLOYED ONE OF OUR MANY DEADLY WEAPONS AGAINST YOU! ALREADY FROM MY POSITION IN ORBIT OVER YOUR WORLD I CAN SEE THE SHATTERED LAND WHERE THE MIGHTY YELLOW ARC IMPACTED! YOU HAVE NOTHING POWERFUL ENOUGH TO STAND AGAINST US! SURRENDER NOW AND THE PROCESS OF YOUR REMOVAL WILL BE SWIFT AND PAINLESS! WE AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE!

*static, followed by the return of scheduled programming*
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New Drakensberg Range
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"Nuke em! NUKE EM!" cried Brigadier General Jack McLean, to fellow generals, admirals, air marshalls, and politicians, that were seated around a conference table.

It has been 3 hours since the Symyano sent their message, and a build-up of energy in the orbiting objects has been detected, which has led many military commanders to believe that they are preparing an attack.

"I agree with Mr McLean" said Admiral Guy Bates. "Every message we have sent, we get the same reply. They demand the unconditional surrender of England, and they state that they will attack unless we do what they demand. It is clear that force is the only thing we can do to oppose them."

"NUKE EM!!" cried McLean again.

"Yes, yes, we heard you the first time" replied Prime Minister Sam Houselion. "We should prepare to attack them with everything we have, including our nuclear missles. We must, beforehand, get every nation in England onboard. We need to stand together. I want Jeff Goldblake (the NDR Foreign Minister), to send a message to every nation in England, asking them to work together with each other to create a united plan."

Houselion's intelligence adviser, John Dulles, emerges from the shadows. "We should accept their demand."

"What?!" cries McLean. "Give into their demands! NEVER!"

"The Symyano are more powerful than humans. Humanity should give into their demand. The human race will die futilely if it resists." coldly said Dulles.

"I would rather die with a rifle in my hand, then on my knees" said McLean.

"I think the general's words represent the feelings of most people in England. We must make a stand."

Whispering to himself, Dulles said "Pathetic".
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Glerica
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[ *  *  *  *  * ]
In a secret location north of Glerica, the government holds a press conference. The mood is anxious, the nation and possibly the region wondering what we are going to do in such a crisis.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" announces Minister of War, Commander Rockem Sockem. "This is a crisis, the likes of which has never been seen before in anyone's lifetime. It is true what these... "aliens" say. They are planning to take over the planet, wiping out civilization as we know it. It is true that these things have infiltrated the government and some our major scientific institutions, but luckily most of these moles have been recognised and... disposed of. This includes our Trade, Internal Affairs, Defence and Science Ministers, along with several top scientists in the Glerican Institute for Science."

A hiss of muttering and whispering sweeps through the room, shocked that the loveable Defence Minister, Hessy Shielding, was one of "them". A sigh of relief followed when they realised that the Foreign Minister, Miles Kilometre was unharmed.

"They also got 22 out of the 24 Splort Commandos, so we only have two left. I won't mention their names for security. Luckily they're ready to get these bastards out of here!"

He dramatically (some say TOO dramatically) turns and presses a rather large red button, and two black suites Splort Commandos are raised up through a trapdoor. They nod to the Commander and begin typing commands into the suit computer. The Commander then raises his hand

"Splort!"

He slams down on the button, only for it to be met with a high pitched whine and then the sound of a computer failing. Nothing happens.

"Oh Err.. See you later folks!"
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disposablepuppetland
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[Dune Carolee, special news bulletin - Channel Zero, Newz0r]

Well... after the extraordinary announcements today, I for one, welcome our new Symyan overlords!
May they rule over us with benevolence, mercy, and increased funding for national news reporting.
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disposablepuppetland
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[Television advertisement]

Kermorvan Underground Bunkers are offering 25% extra concrete, free with every bunker ordered this month!
That's right - 25% extra protection when you order any shelter from our bunker range.

Our bunkers are guaranteed to withstand any nuclear bombardment or your money back.
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Exhalted Fleetmaster! The infiltrators have been reporting in!

Excellent - have they all been successful in their missions?

It would appear so, most exhalted one... but...

But?

Please! I beg your forgiveness! We still have not received word from a handful of our agents - indeed, reports from the others suggest some of them have been out of communication for some time.

Hmm. This is not unusual - agents are lost through mishap, on occasion.

You speak only truth, your exhaltedness!

Get me a list of those who are missing. In the meantime, what communication have we received from the primitive beings on the planet below?

The typical mix of puzzled queries, outright defiance and one or two would-be collaborators seeking to save themselves at the expense of their fellows, your exhaltedness.

Ah yes - the pitiful, grovelling collaborators - every race has them! Let us see what this crude world has offered up!

At once, exhalted Fleetmaster!
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Fifth interview with Constantine Malachite. Agent Delores Spicerack interrogating.]

DS: You knew they were coming, Malachite! How???

CM: I take it you're referring to our Symyano visitors, Agent Spicerack?

DS: Don't play games, Malachite! What are you? One of the infiltrators they mentioned? hm?

CM: I'm really growing quite bored of your questions, Agent Spicerack. I have lots of things I need to be doing so I believe I'll be leaving now.

*sound of chair scraping backwards*

DS: Oh no you don't!!!

*click of a safety catch*

Sit right back down!

CM: Agent Spicerack, you already know that will do little more than inconvenience me!

DS: Perhaps, but have you forgotten the armed squads behind the mirror and in the corridor?

CM: No, no I haven't. In fact, I already arranged for this facility to be seeded with some of my GBI-2 operatives - I'm sure there are enough amongst the staff to cover my escape.

DS: You're bluffing Malachite!

*suddenly the sound of close combat erupts from behind the mirror*

DS: You can't have!

CM: I'm afraid so, Agent Spicerack... Agent Snowshovel - hold Delores here until I've departed... I would hate to see such an attractive woman come to harm whilst attempting some futile heroics.

RS: Sir!

DS: Robby! No! Not y-ugh! Get... off! Nnngh!!!

CM: Good day, Delores, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance - perhaps we'll meet again in the future!

*sound of the door swinging open and distant sound of more close combat and even a pistol being fired down the corridor*
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Rhanukhani State News Network Midnight Bulletin]

Good evening viewers. The time is twelve o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

Terror in the Sky!: The question that has been asked since the dawn of time has been officially answered. We are not alone in the universe. The arrival of the Symyano fleet over England yesterday has confirmed not only this fact but that the nation of Britain's Empire was not merely the victim of a cosmic accident.

His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman made his official response to the Symyano demand for the complete surrender of ........

*static*
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Simultaneous broadcast on all of England's television and radio channels]

*static clears, revealing the wrinkled features of Fleetmaster Boohubalss*

THIS IS FLEETMASTER BOOHUBALSS OF THE SYMYANO HEGEMONY! WE HAVE LISTENED TO YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPTS AT NEGOTIATION FOR ONE FULL TURN OF THIS WORLD AND STILL HAVE NOT RECEIVED WORD OF YOUR SURRENDER. IT IS CLEAR YOU WISH TO TEST US. YOU WILL FIND WE ARE COMPLETELY SINCERE IN OUR COMMITMENT! WE HAVE DETERMINED THE LOCATION OF THE LEADER OF ONE OF YOUR INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE NATIONS. HE WILL BE DESTROYED AS AN EXAMPLE TO THE REST OF YOU! OBSERVE!

*static, followed by the return of scheduled programming*
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Communication from Commander Martin 'Buzz' Cheesegrater aboard the Rhanukhani State Space Station to Stars Reach Space Centre, Astahni]

Sir! Again, I can confirm that the Symyano have launched an attack! A projectile composed of a soft, brown substance emerged from the underside of one of their vessels. It appears to have been targeted on DPL, sir! I am attempting to get more precise details from the instruments now!
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Rhanukhani State News Network Midnight Bulletin]

...and I'm been informed - yes - we have reports coming in from correspondents in Disposablepuppetland of the first attack from the Symyano fleet! mmhm. ah... I'm told that an object fell from the sky and - wait! Apparently we have footage of the event!

*shakey nighttime shot of a large city from an upper storey balcony. A blazing object descends from the sky, illuminating everything briefly before impacting on the horizon. The camera image is burned out for a few seconds by the brightness of the resulting explosion. Once everything clears, a raging inferno can be seen lighting up the sky. Suddenly the camera vibrates heavily and then swings left to right, revealing large blobs of a hissing brown sludge hammering into nearby walls and smashing through windows. Suddenly the image is reduced to static*

erm... we appear to have lost the picture there but I can confirm that the attack was centred on the presidential bunker in Raspberry Fields, Disposablepuppetland. We can only hope, for the sakes of the citizens of DPL that President Vershner and his staff survived that assault.
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
+++VOICE PATTERN RECOGNISED - PASSWORD ACCEPTED - WELCOME TO THE MALACHITE EVOLVING ENTERPRISES MASTER NETWORK, PROFESSOR LUCY SIDEBOARD - COMPLETE SECURITY CLEARANCE AND COMMAND GRANTED - YOU HAVE ONE INCOMING COMMUNICATION+++

Incoming? From who?

Greetings, Professor - I trust you have managed in my absence!

Const- ah... Mr Malachite! What a pleasure to hear from you!

All thanks to your GBI project, Professor - it was most thoughtful of you to infilitrate GBI-2s into the RNSA.

You'll be pleased to learn that isn't the only organisation with GBI-2 employees, Mr Malachite.

That doesn't surprise me at all, Professor *chuckle* Can you hold the fort a little longer? I have a small task to perform before I can join you.

Certainly Mr Malachite - it will be good to see you again!
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disposablepuppetland
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Announcement from Clarrents Vishni, DPL Foreign Minister]

People of Diposablepuppetland, it is with great regret I must announce the demise of our great leader General Vershner. The Symyan attack destroyed three city-blocks and damaged numerous building in the vicinity, but the fires are now under control and further damage is unlikely. Fortunately the timing of the attack meant that few people were working in the offices surrounding the government buildings, but I can confirm that several other government ministers were attending a meeting at the time and are presumed lost. Amongst those are Vice President Brink Mattrop, Chancellor Gorgon Brune, and Glerican diplomat Jennifer McAde.
As the highest ranking member of the government remaining, I am assuming command of Disposablepuppetland. All government departments and security forces now report directly to me.
It is clear to me that we cannot possibly fight such a superior and advanced race, and so I have immediately contacted the Symyans and offered our surrender. They were receptive to the offer and agreed to our terms.
As part of our agreement, police will be visiting every home, at around midnight tonight, and making certain minor adjustments to your living arrangements. I urge you to cooperate fully, and meekly, with the police, so as to minimise the level of pain suffered.

Yours victori... err... regretfully, Clarrents Vishni.
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disposablepuppetland
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[Advertising hoardings hastily erected throughout DPL]

KERMORVAN INSURGENCY & SEDITION SUPPLIES ANNOUNCE: ALL YOU CAN FIRE WEEK!!

That's right, just like all-you-can-eat restaurants, we are offering all-you-can-fire on all stock this week for a single payment of [dohtml]ℑ[/dohtml]50!
Everything you need to resist a hostile invasion. Get your road-side-bombs, grenades, pistols, RPGs, land-mines, sniper rifles, bandannas and Toyota Hilux's here this week. All for just [dohtml]ℑ[/dohtml]50!
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Glerica
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Glerican Network News

Hello and welcome to the "Ten to Three" News, I'm Jam Strawberry. Our main story tonight, with a fleet of explosive and evil aliens hovering over England, Several of our government officials killed and exposed as infiltrators for another race, DPL being attacked and their leader killed, and Splort Technology now redundant, crap certainly seems to be falling on all of us lately.... What do you mean I can't say crap? I think there are more urge... ALIENS PAUL! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR THE RPODUCER ANYMORE HAVE YOU SEEN THE ALIENS? THE BIG FU-"

*Technical Difficulties!*

"Hello I'm Mar Mite, Jam Strawberry is off tonight. With Splorting technology being unresponsive, it is clear that this could mean the end to civilization as we know it. Many nations have already announced their surrender and with the King and some of his advisorts being moved to a secret location for security, a new General, Chinston Worstill, has been put in place and he join us here tonight. General, thanks for joining us"

"Oh no problem."

"What is Glerica's plan for this alien attack?"

"Well there is no doubt that this enemy means business, I mean did you see DPL?! Jees... Anyway, our main priorities at the moment are getting the Splorting System back online, training up a few more Splort Commandos and engaging in several secret operations."

"And how long will that take"

"Anywhere up to six months."

"Some would say thats a smige too long don't you think? And with some of our top scientists being exposed as infiltrators, is there any chance?"

"Well the government has been strong on this one. We will not give up, even if every man woman and child is subjected to the most horrific torture and pain never experienced before by humans, we will not surrender."

Mar Mite stutters, looking paler than normal "T-Torture..?"

"Oh quite right. I'd expect it anyway you know? Horrible stuff."

"Err... Well with civilisation as we know it collapsing into a hash reality and feeling that all is lost, that everything we once knew and loved is at an end, We'd like to know what your thoughts are about it. Email in at..."
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disposablepuppetland
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Somewhere in northern West-Side]

"Hell we doing out here Cake?", complained Winston.

"We meetin' professor Virgil", repeated Cake, for the third time that evening.

"An' he is going to sell us some dope?", Winston hoped.

"No. He's going to tell us about the X Project." Cake began to wonder, not for the first time, if it had been a mistake to involve Winston in this mission.

Winston was wondering much the same thing: "An' why you need me here? Shouldn't Troop an' Shoulder be doin' this?".
Argoil 'Trooper' Misong was Minister of Turf Wars and Joe 'Shoulder' Perez was Minister of Demanding Repect.

Cake looked grim, "Can't trust anyone any more. They might be Symyans."

Winston thought about this. Suddenly a rare moment of insight dawned in his consciousness. "So how you know I'm not a Syrian?"

"They're an advanced race, fool. Ain't no one as dumb as you."

"Yeah," grinned Winston, "I never learned a thing. So, this X Project gonna make us lots of dope?"

"Maybe..."
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New Drakensberg Range
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[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Statement sent by John Dulles, the new Prime Minister of New Drakensberg Range, to the head of every government of England

Leaders of England, it is with regret that I must inform you that the former Prime Minister, Sam Houselion, brutually machine guned his entire cabinet nearly four hours ago. He then shot himself soon after he engaged in this terrible act. His motives are not known.

I have assumed command of New Drakensberg Range, and my first act was to radio a message to the Symyano, offering the unconditional surrender of New Drakensberg Range. I urge every other nation in England, who has not surrendered, to do so immediately.
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Exhalted Fleetmaster! The first nations of this primitive world have begun surrendering, either through their own choice or as a result of the efforts of our infiltrators and collaborators!

It is good to know there is some wisdom amongst these pitiful creatures - hopefully the remaining nations will see the futility of their continuing defiance and follow suit! Now, the infiltrators who have failed to report - you have assembled a list?

Your exhaltedness, it is done! The following agents have all failed to report in since our arrival... Aknallaghdd, Bowlisqueff, Chonmiklatt -

Hold! Chonmiklatt? He was teamed with my old friend Alrabustt... contact Alrabustt at once! He must know what has become of his partner!

Indeed, your exhaltedness - it shall be as you say!...

*the Fleetmaster's aide consults a small device in his hand*

Exhalted one! Alrabustt's communicator informs me that he is currently engaged in a mission - should I override?

No, we had best not disturb him - he is no doubt orchestrating the surrender of this... hmm...

*Fleetmaster Boohubalss studies a small flashing icon on a hologram of the globe*

...Rhanukhan?
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Palace of the Dedicated Worker, Rhanukhan - His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman, Horatio J. Prism is concluding a teleconference with leading members of the military and intelligence services]

...and so, there can be no surrender, gentlemen - the workers and citizens of Rhanukhan will not submit to the rule of these outsiders!

*chorus of agreement followed by the monitors deactivating as the various officers return to their jobs*

Alien invasion! Who would have belie-

*The doors to the conference chamber suddenly burst open as foreign minister, Allistair Ballustrade marches in, flanked by uniformed members of the palace guard*

Secure the room men! My apologies for the intrusion, Your Resplendence!

Allistair! What is the meaning of this?

Your Resplendence, we believe one of the Symyano infiltrators is within the palace!

Here! Now? How on-

The doors and windows are all secure, Mr Ballustrade!

Thank you, then we can begin!

Allistair? What-

Silence human! I am in charge now!

*Several of the uniformed guards suddenly turn their weapons towards the Supreme Chairman*

You? Allistair! All these years!

Yes pathetic creature! I have maintained the illusion of being your loyal and trusted servant long enough! Now it is my turn to give the orders! You will make an immediate broadcast announcing Rhanukhan's unconditional surrender to the Symyano Hegemony!

I will do no such thing, Allistair... if that is your real name...

Ha! I suppose this crude deception is no longer required - you may now address me as-

BADOOM!

*The doors to the chamber are blown off their hinges, flattening the guards placed by them*

ALRABUSTT!!! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!

*Constantine Malachite strides boldly into the room, carrying a heavy pistol and leading a team of armoured GBI-2s in RNSA uniform*

Who?! How?!!

TAKE THEM ALL DOWN - I'LL SEE TO THE SUPREME CHAIRMAN!

No! You will not deny me, human!

*As a firefight erupts around them, Alrabustt draws a pistol of his own and fires an expertly aimed shot at Constantine's chest, knocking the business mogul back. He is unprepared, however, for the sight of Malachite simply rolling into a backflip and straight up onto his feet again*

Malachite! I saw the arrest footage - it's you!

Indeed it is, Alrabustt!

*Glancing desperately around, Alrabustt sees that his regular human troops are faring badly against the GBI-2s*

I don't know how you learned my true name, Malachite, but all the knowledge in the world won't prevent me from killing your beloved leader!

*Alrabustt swings his pistol around towards where the Supreme Chairman is slowly backing away from the conflict - Horatio freezes in his tracks and stares defiantly at the alien invader he believed to be a trusted friend*

Goodbye... Your Resplendence!

BLAM!

*The bullet is wildly off mark as, in a split second, Constantine crosses the distance between them and grabs Alrabustt's arm, crushing the bones*

GRAAAARGH!!!

You really haven't recognised me, have you... partner?

*Alrabustt's eyes suddenly widen*

-GASP!- CHO-

*With a sickening crunch, Constantine crushes the infiltrator's neck one-handed, choking off whatever he was about to say*

Hush now, you've said enough already.

*Constantine drops the limp body, turns to the Supreme Chairman and flashes one of his charismatic smiles*

Your Resplendence! It is a pleasure and an honour to meet you, as always!

Malachite! You- How?!

There's no time for lengthy explanations, Your Resplendence - we both have work to do! My GBI-2s appear to have dealt with Ballustrade's little party so-

He- he was one of them! All these years... who knows what he might have achieved in that time?

As I was saying, my GBI-2s will escort you to your command bunker, Your Resplendence - you will be safe from any further attacks, I assure you. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Wait!

We really don't have ti-

Then make time, dammit! I am the Supreme Chairman here!

...I remain your humble servant, Your Resplendence.

Malachite... it appears to me that you know more about what's going on than most - I could use a man of your foresight in this crisis.

You could indeed, Your Resplendence... and so could the rest of England! I have prepared as much as I could to protect you all from the Symyano. I am leaving now to begin co-ordinating those defences with my followers. Expect to hear from me shortly - and tell your fellow world leaders that there will be no surrender and no Symyano conquest!

*Constantine spins on his heel and strides purposefully out through the blasted doors leaving a stunned Horatio J. Prism to be escorted to his bunker*
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Statement made by John Dulles, the NDR Prime Minister, which was sent to every head of government in England

It is clear that some people in England have been foolish enough to resist the Symyano call for unconditional surrender. Resistance groups are, according to intelligence I have received, springing up in Rhanukhan, Glerica, DPL, and in New Drakensberg Range.

If they are allowed to oppose the Symyano, our overlords will respond harshly against everyone in England. I ask that every nation in England support each other in quashing these growing insurgencies.

Hail the Symyano!
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
In a missle silo command room, Generals McLean and Bradley are with a group of soldiers.

"Come on, before the alarm goes off" says McLean.

"Sir, it will take me some time to over-ride the system. Your access codes have only initiated the launch preparations." responded one soldier.

"I hope we can get this done. NDR, and England, must make a stand!" said Bradley.

"Yeah, and NDR won't do that without our help. It is clear that Dulles is a Symyano. I saw him go into the cabinet room with a machine gun. I was able to get away before he killed me." said McLean.

"The Symyano have infiltrated everywhere. I've heard a push is being made by Symyano infiltrators in Rhanukhan." said Bradley.

McLean said "If we can destroy the main ship, then maybe the Symyano attacks will fall..."

Suddenly, an alarm rang.

"Damn! Our cover is blown!" shouted McLean

One soldier said "No, sir, that's the alarm for missle launch. Target has been set.



She's going."

Posted Image

"Let's hope she destroys the Symyano mothership." said McLean.
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Exhalted Fleetmaster! We are attacked!

What? They dare?! Hmm… nuclear weaponry – how quaint! Who launched it?

Your exhaltedness – it is from the New Drakensberg Range!

Impossible! Ojundasll has secured that nation for us! Put me in communion with him – he will explain himself!

At once, exhalted one!

…and do something about that missile!
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