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The Great Banana Rush
Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,470 Views)
rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Rhanukhan Parliament Building, Main Gates]

Now, Enosmekyurii! Whilst those two fools contact their superiors, we can simply walk through the gates.

Such a simple strategem, Gambilditt... it truly shows how inferior these creatures are.

Indeed it does. I have witnessed the same diversion employed in their entertainment broadcasts and yet still they fall for it! Now, we will find somewhere for you two to lie low and tomorrow I will go forth and find out where we are and how easily we may contact our fellow Symyano!
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Exalted Fleetmaster! You wished to be informed if Chonmiklatt moved his flying island away from the nation of Rhanukhan.

I did - he appears to show a peculiar affection for that particular patch of land. Has he relocated?

He has, exaltedness! Lehpuhrta is currently over... here... off the shore of Glerica.

I wonder what has his attention there? The earlier attack has largely crippled that nation for the moment... well, no matter - whilst he is away, Rhanukhan is left without it's most powerful defence - commence the ground assault!

As you command, exalted one!
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Glerica
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Message from Central Glerican Gateway to rhanukhan

Hello there! Thanks for trying to visit Glerica. Unfortunatley, we are in a lock down situation at the moment, as well you know as you have received the safety warning before. As you have chosen to continue into Glerican Airspace, please accept the following gift of five thermo-nuclear warheads smashing into your rouge aircraft.

Your death may be recorded for training purposes. We hope you have a nice rest of your life!
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

It appears that Glerica's entire automated defence system is up, running and keeping a wary eye on us.

It certainly does, Constantine - the computer reports that we're regularly being scanned.

And our own scans in return?

We have a detailed breakdown of the weapons arrayed against us. We even think we've found where our citizens are being ah... accommodated.

Good. We'll need that information when we go in.

We're - You can't be serious Constantine! Lehpuhrta will be pulverised!

Yes - I imagine it would... if it was the poor fool going in first! Computer - we have work to-

+++ATTENTION - FIVE INCOMING NUCLEAR MISSILES, ORIGIN: GLERICA+++

Five? Is that all they think this place is worth? I'm almost insulted! I imagine we must have strayed too close.

+++DEPLOYING COUNTERMEASURE, WESTERN QUARTER LEVITATION GENERATORS OUTPUT INCREASED IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO INCOMING TARGETS' THRUST.+++

This should be amusing, Lucy!

+++TARGETS HOLDING POSITION SEVEN MILES FROM LEHPUHRTAN SHORELINE+++

Excellent, computer. Withdraw us a safer distance from that weapon system down there. No sense in triggering any more attacks... well - not just yet!

+++COMPLYING+++

But Constantine, we're already attacked! What about those missiles out there?

Ah, they'll burn out their fuel eventually and drop into the sea. Although we might as well send out an appropriately trained GBI-1 crew to 'liberate' the warheads themselves whilst we wait - no sense in wasting useful materials!

Indeed not, Constantine - recycling is all the rage these days!

Ha, yes! Now, computer - back to that earlier business!

+++ACKNOWLEDGED+++
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Rutzatil
Peasant
[ *  *  * ]
Private Jones was awoken by the sound of heavy gunfire.

"Hussle up, we're storming Port Alpha" Screamed Sargent Quadrus. Jones thought that Quadrus was always shouting or screaming.


*30 minutes later*

"Ok, there it is. UI have been pinned down and due a slip in communications we went one way and they went the other. Anyway, this means we can come in round the back. No, Harper, not in *that* way. Load up and let's get moving. Jones you're with me on the Panther"

Jones perked up, the Panther, it was a well known fact that everyone who had survived a trip on the Panther had gone on to be a Sargent. That and the Panther was, without question, the most awesomely kickass bit of kit the Rutzatil Army had.
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United Idiocracy
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
UITV1 Evening News

Good evening, I'm Bill Donkey. Our main news tonight: Significant gains made today after stalemate. With more details, we cross to Ernie Foolton who's attached to the 1st Armed division.

Thanks Bill, I'm about a mile behind the front lines here in NDR. We were pinned down just 300 metres beyond the beach since we landed a couple of days ago by some heavy Symyan laser fire. It appears that although the naval barrage and aerial bombing took out most of the heavy guns, the Symyans retreated away from the coast, and waited for the land invasion to begin.

At 04:00 this morning, we were all ordered back towards the beach, and soon after the dawn was broken by the noise of jets once again bombing the Symyan positions. It appears that UIAF has complete air superiority. When the jets withdrew, we were on the move. It seems now that the air strike completely disorientated the Symyan troops, and the expeditionary force successfully broke through the Symyan lines and since then have advanced nearly 25 miles inland towards Englesburgh, NDR's capital. We have already liberated a small town and several villages, all of which gave an ecstatic welcome to the UI troops. The Symyan troops appear to be falling back in complete disarray, I have had it on good authority that the military commanders beleive they will fall back to defend Englesburgh

Thats all from the front lines. Back to you Bill

Thanks Ernie.

In other news, we go over to Jayne Lune, who's at the Southern Idiocracy Bonsai Festival
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Rutzatil
Peasant
[ *  *  * ]
Explosives expert Rupert Harper finish sticking the C4 to the wall of the Port Alpha fort.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

He dived into the trench a few feet away

*BOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHH*

Harper looked over the edge of the trench and peered through the hole...

*GRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRRR*

The Panther roared into life and soared over his head.

As it dashed through the hole and made a sharp hand-brake stop. The Gull-wing door flew open, the nose of a GAU-12 Equalizer pointed out. Without warning the gun burst into life, instanly stopping anything stupid enough to get in it's way. The Panther then closed it's door, made a three point turn and zoomed off down the corridor to the heart of the stronghold.

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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Statement by General Owen Downguard, recently appointed commander of all NDR forces

My thanks to the ground forces of Rutzatil and United Idiocracy. Allied forces have been successful in driving Symyano forces from Port Alpha. NDR forces are preparing for a push towards the capital.
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[A valley in northern DPL]

A reconnaissance patrol reported back within the hour. General Vershner questioned them on the whereabouts of the remaining Symyans.

"A big group of them are heading west over the hills. They'll run into a wolf-pack within a day or two so we won't be seeing them again. There's still quite a few trying to hide in the valley. The fiends will have them. Lastly we've got a group running straight down the valley, they could actually make it to the road."

"Right then" Vershner smiled, "let's see where they lead us."
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Rutzatil
Peasant
[ *  *  * ]
****Breaking News****

"Hello, i'm Darren Piemaker. We at Rutzatil Nation News have got hold of a story that will bring joy to millions. Port Alpha, the first conflict zone in NDR for Rutzatil forces, has fallen. Yes folks, the Blue, black and yellow flag waves high and proud after our boys routed the alien scum. UI forces done a great job disabling the defenses and our brave lads finish the job with out the lost of a single life. Makes ya proud to be alive doesn't it, folks?"
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Glerica
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Secondary Splort Command, B-Base 4

"Have the Rhanukhans got there yet?"

"No captain... they're nearly there though. I'm surprised the missil-"

Missile Launch Detected

"-ah there we go. Triggered the level one defence response"

"The 5 missiles?"

"Yeah that's the one. Shouldn't be trouble for them really with a thing that size. They certainly can't fly away from them!"

"Why's that? Won't they just burn out?"

"Nope, these are the new generation of missiles. Running on Liquid Bananium Core batteries. Predicted half-life of 10,000 years, so those babies will follow you for the next hundred millennia or so."

"Ah well, it'll probably only dent that thing, but it should keep them away."

"I hope so. That thing will survive this level one response, and probably levels two and three... maybe four. But after that... I really don't want to think what would happen if it hits level five. That Gateway is deranged enough as it is"

"Anyway, how is the splort core coming along?"

"Hardly... communications are down too so we've no idea what's happening in central Glerica."

"I could always do a little bit of a splort..."

"No, save your battery. It'll only have a few splorts left does it? Save them until we know what we're doing."
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Glerica
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Glerican Gateway

It appears that the nations of England are having difficulty understanding the severity of our lock down situation. In accordance to this, Glerica will be shutting down all Banalium, Oil and Natural Gas supply pipelines to the following nations:

Rhanukhan, New Drakensberg Range, Disposablepuppetland, West Side, Rutzatil, United Idiocracy and MISSING NATION.

We hope you enjoy your remaining supplies, and hope you will reconsider your service with Glerican Energy when your home supplies run out. Thanks for connecting to the Glerican Gateway! We hope to T£RM!N@TE you soon!
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Rutzatil
Peasant
[ *  *  * ]
Agent Foxtrot chuckled.

"Hey, Echo, look at this. The Glerican gateway's shut down."

"So?"

"They think it matters. Jeez if only they knew what we've been running on. Operation Terra Firma's working a charm"

"Foxtrot, you really need better inspiration than just turning on the shuffle on your iPod and pressing fast-foward for these operation names."
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Further down a valley in northern DPL]

Lieutenant Ryturnclydd was desperately trying to pull his remaining comrades into some sort of order. He grabbed the two nearest soldiers and hauled them to the ground. He took a moment to catch his breath before hollering at the other troops.

"STOP!! Everyone stop running! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

The Symyan troops suddenly stopped in their tracks and stared at him blankly. Many were clearly still in shock.

"Dayvejhonss and Mikkidewnioo, activate your night-vision and scan the skies for any more of those creatures. Everyone else, form up and follow me."

They marched off, following the line of the valley. As they marched Ryturnclydd tapped a button on his communicator and tried to raise the other commanding officers.

"Lieutenant Wullhatt, do you read me..."

Nothing.

"Captain Thawkilsunn, come in..."

Nothing.

"Captain Saiyukii, do you read me..."

"Saiyukii reporting sir!"

"What's your location?"

"Unknown... somewhere west of the ship... about three..." Suddenly his voice was interrupted by the sound of gun fire.

"What's happening?"

"We're under attack again sir." Ryturnclydd could hear the panic in the captain's voice.

"The flying creatures?"

"No sir, some sort of four legged creature. They're everywhere." A scream echoed in the background and was suddenly cut short.

"How many of you are there?"

"Errr... 25... maybe 30... hard to tell... we're losing troops all the time."

"Listen up. Gather your remaining troops, form up, and head south. We'll rendezvous in the morning."

"Yes sir!"

Ryturnclydd closed the comm link and looked around. Private Mikkidewnioo was calling him.

"Lieutenant, have a look at this."

"What is it Private? More flying creatures?"

"No sir, I can see a road up ahead."

"Excellent! We'll rest here until the morning, then rendezvous with Captain Saiyukii."
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

Those missiles are still there?

+++AFFIRMATIVE+++

Hn! They're using some Bananium derivative for a fuel source - the scanners suggest some kind of battery.

Shall I have one of the GBI-1 teams fly out and remove the batteries, Constantine? It seems the easiest way to deal with them.

Yes, you might as well, Lucy. It'll give them something to do whilst I set the next phase in motion.

Do you really think it will work?

No reason why not - I've checked - several of my more classified clearance codes are still active. I guess only high ranking staff on the flagship knew of them and didn't disable them before our encounter.

But this is just plain cruel, Constantine - it's like some sort of lethal practical joke!

Isn't it just? Let's watch the fun unfold shall we? Computer - connect to the OrbiTech Satellite Network!

+++COMPLYING+++
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Broadcast to all Symyano vessels currently holding positions above Glerica]

THIS IS FLEETMASTER COOHUDALSS! THE GLERICAN DEFENCE SYSTEM HAS BEEN DISABLED. ALL VESSELS ARE TO DESCEND AND COMMENCE GROUND OCCUPATION IMMEDIATELY!
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United Idiocracy
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
[Briefing in UI Defence Ministry, given by Defence Secretary Ron Bacardi]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press, out forces have been doing an amazing job, successfully pushing back the Symyan forces, despite their scorched earth policy, destroying everything as they go.

I can reveal that this is in no part due to the actions of UIA Special forces, who succeeded in landing behind enemy lines and holding a strategically important bridge, preventing its destruction.

I can also announce that at 06:00 this morning, an advance scouting party entered the southern suburbs of the NDR capital Englesburgh, before falling back to just outside the city. The main force of the UI army is now stationed outside the city.

We have transmitted an ultamatum to the Symyan ship hovering over Englesburgh, ordering their immediate withdrawl. We have made this offer in an attempt to reduce the number of civilian casualties that will be occured if we engage the ship over the city. At the current time we have received no response, nor do the enemy show any signs of withdrawing.

Our next breifing will be in 48 hours.
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

How goes the ground assault?

Less than excellent, exalted fleetmaster.

This is becoming tiresome but present me with your report on how my forces are embarrassing me today...

Exalted one! The sub-fleetmaster in charge of the Rhanukhan operation, Toizaruss, requests more troops - there are an unusually large number of Chonmiklatt's enhanced soldiers fighting for that nation.

I expected as much. Send in two more ships. I want Rhanukhan firmly in our grasp before Chonmiklatt returns from whatever he's doing.

It shall be as you command, your exaltedness!

How fares the rest of the campaign?

The alliance between the nations of United Idiocracy, Rutzatil and New Drakensberg Range is forcing our troops back in NDR - we have even received an ultimatum from their leaders demanding our withdrawal!

An ultimatum? From such inferior creatures? Ha! No doubt their forces are composed of more of Chonmiklatt's-

Actually, no, exalted one - intelligence indicates that none of these nations purchased Chonmiklatt's enhanced soldiers and there has been no evidence of his covert models either... it would appear that our troops are genuinely... ah... losing to regular... um... human... troops... um... e-e-exaltedness?

RRRRAAAAAGH!!!! What is wrong with my... my... HA! Soldiers is far too good a word for them! Fine! We will respond to this pathetic ultimatum!!!

E-exalted one?

Order the sub-fleetmaster in charge of that operation to use his vessel's primary weapon on the capital city of NDR! An example will be made!

Exalted fleetmaster! Our own troops on the surface-

Are clearly worthless! They can share the fate of the enemy and serve as an example to others - such failure will not be tolerated!

*Coohudalss' aide suddenly glances at the small device he always carries*

Exalted Fleetmaster! The vessels descending on Glerica are being decimated by that nation's automated defence system!

What- Glerica?! What vessels?!

The vessels under Sub-Fleetmaster Choohukless, your exaltedness - err... records show that you ordered them to commence the ground assau... um... you didn't, did you?

Of course not, you imbecile! That defence network will pound them to scrap! The special agents we despatched to disable it haven't had time to complete their mission yet!

Then who-

Wait! Chonmiklatt was operating near Glerica - this has to be his doing! Search the logs - I want to know how he accessed our communications!

At once, exalted one!

And for the sake of the Highmaster, order Choohukless to withdraw!
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Glerica
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Glerican Gateway Message - Shortly After Symyan attack decent

Hello there, >SYMYAN ATTACK FORCE<. It seems that you're trying to >INVADE GLERICA<.

I can't allow you to do that, John.

>ACTIVATING LEVEL 2 DEFENCE SYSTEMS. WARNING! ALL AIRCRAFT AND LANDING FORCES PLEASE VACATE GLERICAN AIRSPACE OR YOU WILL BE FIRED UPON.

To leave a message, please press 3.

>CHARGING BANALITE LASER SYSTEM. TARGETS (17) LOCKED. FIRING.

Thanks for connecting!
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Glerica
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Secondary Splort Command, B-Base 4

An alert bleeps on Doctor Rogers computer.

"Something has triggered defence level 2."

"What? Rhanukhan backed off didn't they?"

"It's not them... it's the Symyans!"

"Can they survive a level 2?"

"Not bloody likely!"

At this time, unbeknownst to our two characters in question, a complete network controlled by the Gateway System back in Glerica consisting of 80 pylons dotted around the country designed to fire pure bolts of super-concentrated energy to whatever target they desired, was being initiated. After the initial warm-up time, a mere 45 milliseconds, the ignition computer will check the targets position until the bolts are fired at a check rate of 90 checks to the second. After a data target analysis by the check network is finished, this information will travel to the firing sequence, which, through the use of a banalium compound will activate the launch of a tera-pulse of concentrated banalium energy in the form of a laser.
This laser, tested and found to penetrate almost anything and also cause an EMP pulse so it knocks out all electrical equipment, is fired at a rate of 25 pulses per second. This was also unknown by Sub-Fleetmaster Choohukless, a recently promoted commander in charge of the Glerican Occupation, who is considered an intellectual among Symyan circles. The lasers fired, and impacted with all seventeen Symyan Battle Cruisers descending on Glerica. Despite his lack of information, Choohukless last words was "Urng!", which is a perfectly acceptable thing to say when your entire fleet of ships and everything in it is disintegrating around your face, which is also disintegrating.
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

Constantine! We've just received word from Agent Yellow and his GBI-2 team - the FS41 "Starhawk" has proved it's worth!

Excellent news - I take it all three of them were able to get through and land in Glerica?

Indeed they did - the descending Symyano fleet was more than adequate distraction for the defence network!

Good, good. Agent Yellow is one of our best - if anyone can get through and shut down that network, it's him! We need to find out what's been going on out here.

I hope you're right Constantine, personally, I think we really need to get back to Rhanukhan!

Yes, I've seen the news - Coohudalss must have just been waiting for us to leave! At least the GBI augmented armed forces are keeping the Symyano at bay for the moment. Although if the news coming out of NDR is any guide, perhaps you humans are more than a match for the Symyano regardless. Unfortunately I can't see that ending well.

What do you mean?

Coohudalss won't take kindly to the ultimatum, Lucy - expect to hear unpleasant reports from NDR soon.

+++ATTENTION - SYMYANO FLEET REMNANTS WITHDRAWING TO ORBIT+++

Well, there goes the distraction! How many made it?

+++THREE VESSELS - ALL SHOWING HEAVY DAMAGE+++

Ouch! Looks like Agent Yellow and his team are stuck down there now. Keep monitoring the defence network - I want to know the instant he takes it down!
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Rhanukhan city]

Greetings - I would like to purchase these medical supplies please.

Certainly sir!

My thanks - you may charge this card.

Of cour- waitaminute - this is a DPL registered account card! I can't accept this - sorry sir!

But... what? I thought this card was accepted in all nations!

Not in Rhanukhan, sir - not with those Symyano dropping out of our skies these days.

*mutters* Curses! Well, at least I know where we are now!

What was that sir?

Ah... nothing! I just have to-

*Smack!*

Gnngh!

*thud*

Hard fist to the jawbone - nice to know some currencies are still accepted everywhere! Now, hopefully these supplies will be adequate to treat Hamucuree - we can't stay in this city too long!
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin]

Good evening viewers. The time is ten o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

Under Seige: Several of Rhanukhan's eastern provinces are under direct assault from the Symyano at present. Refugees have been flooding steadily westwards since the first ships descended four days ago. Although our brave armed forces have held their ground against the aliens in spite of heavy casualties, the provinces of Verang, Inukhanes, Bhanakha, Hesslia, Suria and Kanghari all report heavy fighting. Dwight Alabaster is in Kanghari tonight and brings us a live report later in the program.

Horror in the NDR: The campaign against the Symyano in New Drakensberg Range, until recently a gleaming beacon of hope in this war against the Symyano today became a symbol of terror! Evidently angered by their lack of success in the region, the aliens lashed out with their most powerful weapons. Viewers may recall this earlier footage of the weapon in use against Disposablepuppetland shortly after the Symyano arrived. Now imagine the horror of not just one, but a hundred such bombardments... two hundred... that was the nightmare faced by the citizens of Englesburgh today! Reports are sketchy at the moment but it is certain that beneath the dark cloud observed by the crew of the Rhanukhani State Space Station that the great capital of New Drakensberg Range lies in ruins tonight. His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman has already issued a statement condemning the cowardly actions of the aliens and promised to send whatever aid can be spared once Rhaukhan is free of Symyano aggressors.

And finally: Investigations are continuing into the mysterious events at the Parliament Building in Rhanukhan city earlier this week. Local law enforcement and military officials are still hunting for a number of intruders who evidently splorted into the building before fleeing into the city. Tests carried out on blood found at the site confirmed the presence of at least two individual Symyano though there may be more. Citizens are warned not to approach the aliens and contact their nearest law enforcer if they are encountered. Sophie Futon brings us your opinions from the streets of Rhanukhan.

All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break...
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Helloooo and good evening viewers! I'm roving reporter, Sophie Futon, here on the streets of Rhanukhan city to get your opinions on todays big stories!

[Karen Shoebox - 52 - ammunition factory worker]
Just wait until Mr Malachite gets back - those furry monsters won't know what's hit them!

[No barcode: presumed foreign visitor - ?? - Position unknown]
I don't have time for this, foolish hu- er... woman! I have to get these medical supplies to my friend! Out of my way!!!

[Gordon Ploughshare - 36 - insurance salesman]
I have family in Bhanakha! You have to help me get in touch with them - please!!!!

[Nigel Doorstop - 19 - internet entrepreneur]
I told you all it was aliens!! Why didn't anybody listen? eh?! Well, losers - I'm the one laughing now!

[Sarah Coathanger- 16 - soldier]
This is like, sooooo awesome!!! I'm gonna be right there at the front with all those hunky soldiers and blasting those ugly furball aliens back where they came from! It's just like playing on my VBox 720!!!

Sophie Futon, Rhanukhani State News Network (Rhanukhan - 22:32, 02/05/08)
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Somewhere in Rhanukhan city]

Here, Enosmekyurii! Medical supplies for our colleague.

At last, Gambilditt... we were beginning to fear you'd been caught!

Ha! These slow witted creatures had no idea who walked amongst them today!

No, and you wouldn't last long if they did! Have you discovered where we are?

Indeed I have, Enosmekyurii - we are in the capital city of the nation of Rhanukhan.

Rhanukhan?! That's halfway around the globe from where we started!

It is, yes... but that is not a problem. I observed this nation's news broadcasts whilst I was about the city - our own glorious armies have commenced their ground assault and are engaged to the east of here! Once Hamucuree is sufficiently recovered we can set off in that direction - we should encounter our fellows in no time!
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Rutzatil
Peasant
[ *  *  * ]
The room was silent.

"Well, we all saw what happened today. That 'shroom cloud aint coming down for days. When it does, we'll send some scientitst in to check it's safe. If it is, we'll move in a start aiding any survivors. Just be thankful that wasn't any of our guys in there."

Sargent Quadrus finished his speech and left the soliders to muse on what they'd seen.

"Hey Wallace, so sure we'll beat these aliens now? You saw that cloud, right?"

Wallace turned and stared at Private Jones.

"Course i saw it. That attack was worse than anything i've seen, and we're hundreds of miles away. All i know is that we're gonna give 'em hell for it."
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United Idiocracy
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Squire
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
[Meeting in UI Presidential Palace]

"Ok, Give me the lowdown. All the details of what's happened over the last couple of days". President Foolery asked, with a concerned look on his face.

"Well, sir" Bacardi replied " soon after our ultimatum, we detected a power build up in the vessel's primary weapon, the CO on the ground, General Dumbton, immediately ordered all our weapons to be brought to bear. He ascertained very quickly that our conventional weapons would not be enough, and ordered an emergency withdrawl"

"And....did we just run away after having them on the run for so long?"

"No sir, we had secretly moved one of our submarines into NDR waters, just in case. On the orders of the General, a nuclear missile was launched"

"WHAT! This is incredible. ONLY I CAN ORDER A NUCLEAR ATTACK!!!" Stormed the president. "How can we justify using nuclear weapons over someone else's country! What happened next?"

"Well sir, the missile impacted with the Alien vessel seconds after the primary weapon engaged. Somehow - our scientists are still working on it - the blast was amplfied by the weapon. The Symyano Ship was severly damaged, and crashed into the northern area of the city, causing a second huge explosion. The city itself sustained huge damage, the smoke still hangs thick of the area, and shows no sign of clearing.

"What about our forces? what is their position now?"

"Thankfully most were far enough away to be relatively unaffected, but all are carrying out radiation protocol, to make sure. We have also assigned teams to attempt to rescue any surviving civilians, but the level of damage and radioactivity is hampering search and rescue attempts. We have rescued a small number of civilians, they have been transferred to a hospital ship. Our current plans are to hold our position, and continue search and rescue operations until further notice"

"I'll await the call from the NDR government. That should be an interestig call"

"Well, sir, we always knew we were unlikely to be able to take the ship down without siginifcant damage to the city. We just didn't expect that amount of damage."

"Once this is over, we'll have to review our launce sequence procedures, but make sure no more are launched without my approval, Ron"

"yes sir"
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Rutzatil
Peasant
[ *  *  * ]
"Er...Sarge?"

"Yes, Jones?"

"What are we going to do now the city's, well...not there?"

"As far as i'm concerned, we're going to *do* anything. Just sit there until we get the message to move. Hell, we're in no rush, are we? Supplies are fine, rations are fine, Moral is reasonable. Why should we go any where?"

"So we're just going to sit in this busted up fort for the rest of the war?"

"Well, not you personally, chances are we'll get you out and get Beta Company in for a period."

"So, my war's over?"

"No. Your term's going to be over. We'll bring you guys back either if we need reinforcements or if we win the war and need to sweep through to check for any resistance."

"Oh..."

The sargent paused.

"Jones, why are you still here?"

Jones left.
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rhanukhan
Member Avatar
Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Somewhere in Glerica]

This is Agent Yellow. I'm broadcasting this message, as I do every day, in the hope that you are receiving it, Commander Green. We've received no communication from yourself since we arrived seven days ago and can only presume somebody is blocking the incoming signal. It's probably safe to presume they're also blocking any outgoing signals too, but, just in case they aren't... well, here's my report.

We've been heading north-west since we set down, avoiding the major population centres. Strangely though, we've encountered no signs of the Glerican population out here... I'd have expected the occasional farmer or something - I can only presume people have retreated into the cities in the hope of being better protected against Symyano invaders. Curiously, the absence of people has only served to heighten the sensation we're all beginning to notice - the feeling that we're being wat-

Dave! Over here!

I've told you before, Red - only use codenames when we're broadcasting!

You were? Sorry! But you need to see this...

What is it?

We've found traces of a camp. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to hide it before they left but the trail's still pretty fresh - they were probably here just last night... and they're heading the same direction we are!

Hmm... who else would be out here? The only thing in that direction is the Glerican's defence network hub.

Do you suppose Mr Ma- um... Commander Green sent another team in when we weren't able to get in touch?

Unlikely... you know how much of a distraction was orchestrated just so we could get down here - I'm sure we'd have noticed if something similar had been set off again. We'll carry on as planned, but keep your eyes and ears open - if we start to gain on our mystery campers, I want to know!
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rhanukhan
Member Avatar
Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Somewhere in Rhanukhan city]

Gambilditt, it's been a whole week, Hamucuree is recovered enough - when are we leaving?!

Enosmekyurii is right Gambilditt! We have to get back before the Rhanukhani uncover us! They're still looking, you know!

Of course I know! I'm the one out there in this city amongst them every day, just so you two can have food and other supplies! I've seen the news broadcasts. Our glorious troops hold the eastern provinces now.

They do? That is excellent news!

Indeed it is, Hamucuree. I believe the time is right for us to make our escape! I have already plotted our course up the Tanhallan river to the southern border of Kanghari province where the closest of our colleagues await. We have but to get out of the city and the rest of the route is mostly unoccupied, save for the last few refugees fleeing before our superior forces.

...and I trust you have a plan to get us out of the city - we're hardly inconspicuous, Gambilditt!

It just so happens that I do, Enosmekyurii - you will soon discover that you're not so conspicuous as you believe. Tonight I shall acquire the appropriate... props... for our little subterfuge and in the morning we can depart!
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