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| The Great Banana Rush | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,466 Views) | |
| rhanukhan | Jul 3 2008, 09:09 PM Post #541 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rural Kanghari] Wiping out these inferior creatures close up on the ground is far more satisfying than sitting up in orbit, yes, Emandess? Ha! Indeed it is Tessakohh! I could almost thank that traitor, Chonmiklatt, for creating this opportunity for us! Heh! Quite - aha! There's another one! What?! Oh no! Please - keep away! Ah, fear - I do enjoy seeing this response in you inferior creatures! I-I can't control it - nnngh! Stay back! Hahahaha! Come Tessakohh - it is quiet in these parts - let us torment this inferior creature before we- GAAH! NOOOOOO! *crrreeeak!* *snap!* Er... this one seems to b- what in the name of the Highmaster?! *grrroan!* *pop!* GRRAAAAAARRGH!!!!! Don't just stand there you fool - open fiAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! EMANDESS!!!! *BLAFFFZZZZZZ!!!!!* *BLAFFFZZZZZZ!!!!!* RRROOOAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!! |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 10 2008, 11:01 PM Post #542 |
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Duke
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[Aboard the airship Autojuncture, over the Sea of Regret] Captain Forthmagnet awoke with a start, his eyes gradually focussing on a dull aluminium wall, as they had every day for several weeks. As usual, he could not quite remember where he was, and set about piecing together the fragments of his memory. I was on the bridge of the Plumbum Sky Hook, we were approaching Ego Island, searching for survivors. Rockets from the shore, machine gun fire... I broke out the weapons... returned fire... The ship sank... many dead... attackers disappeared... The engineer... Robloads... he pulled me ashore... we explored... built a shelter... waited... weeks... no rescue... forgotten. Finally an airship appeared... one of ours... but... they shot me... And now here I am in this cell. Suddenly the window at the far side of the cell opened and his captor, Captain Maybell, switched on the intercom. "Good morning Captain Forthmagnet, I trust you are still well?" "Cut the pleasantries. When are you going to let me out of here?" "As I have informed you every morning since we brought you on board, you are in quarantine Captain. You will be released when we are satisfied you are not carrying any infection." "And how long will that take?" "It's only been a few days, I'm sure you can cope with a few more." "It's been months Maybell and you know it. I may have had a bang on the head but I can still count!" "We can't take any risks I'm afraid. You might be a mutant. A few more weeks isolation I think. Then we can turn you over for trial." Maybell said smugly. "We already been over this. You have nothing to try me for!" "Of course we have, captain. The manslaughter of your crew." "We were attacked with rockets and machine guns! Just go and look at the wreck of my ship. It's riddled with holes!" "We've already examined your ship, and found just one hole, where you ran aground." "You're a damn liar Maybell! I'll have you court marshalled when I get out of here!" Maybell smiled, "Good day, Captain. Speak to you again tomorrow", and slid the window shut. Captain Forthmagnet slumped back against the bed. Every day was the same. Another argument with Maybell, then mind-numbing boredom for the rest of the day. A buzzer sounded and a hatch underneath the window slid open. A plastic bowl of porridge sat in the hatch. Porridge for breakfast, just like yesterday, and the day before. He hated porridge. Yesterday... or was it last week? No, yesterday... he'd built a scale model of the Plumbum Sky Hook out of porridge. It had fully rotating turrets and could fire raisins with an effective range of three metres. He'd stood on the bridge and sailed across the bedsheet ocean, back to Port Rhombus, where his lovely wife had given birth to a litter of piglets... No wait... That was a dream. He wondered, not for the first time, if he were going mad. How long had he been in this cell? He had been keeping a mental note at the beginning, but lost count somewhere around sixty days. Now it could be anything. Eighty, a hundred, who knows. Just then a beeping came from the cell door. Someone was typing in the door code. The door slid open silently and a nervous looking young man stood in the doorway. "Erm... sir." he saluted. Forthmagnet jumped up and looked at the man. "Private", he said, returning the salute. "Sir, I err... need your help!" |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 12 2008, 01:05 PM Post #543 |
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Duke
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[The Cabinet Office, Raspberry Fields] "How the hell did Vershner manage to maintain order with such a pathetic police force?" demanded President Vishni at the top of his voice. "Half of them are losing battles to a rabble of mindless rioters, and the other half are sat in their stations and refusing to do anything at all!" "Mr President," began Claos Banchy, Chief of Police, "with all due respect, no one ever rebelled against President Vershner. Our force is just not used to dealing with organised insurgents. We're more of a caring police force. Our skills are more suited to finding lost children, coaxing cats out of trees, and making it really, really, difficult to drive anywhere." "Well it's time for a change!" Vishni leapt to his feet. "I want fresh new officers with fresh new weapons and a fresh new approach to brutally suppressing the populace!" "Erm... sir..." Blanchy stumbled. "I want you to go to every disreputable drinking house in this city and hire every thug, villain, and sadist you can find." "but..." "And then buy some weapons." Vishni opened his brief case and took out a copy of Janet's Military Fetish magazine. He thumbed through the pages and opened it out on the small arms top 10. "Yes, this will do nicely. Kermorvan Armaments' KA-47. Buy ten thousand of those." "err.. yes sir.." "And one more thing. New uniforms! Black shiny leather. Skin tight. With knee-high boots. And peaked caps.... And whips." "Whips sir?" "Yes... that should scare the rabble into submission. Yes... I can see it all now... " Vishni eyes glazed over with a far away look. "Umm..." "Are you still here? What are you waiting for? Get to it! Hurry!" |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 12 2008, 03:32 PM Post #544 |
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Duke
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[Bridge of the airship Autojuncture, over the Sea of Regret] "I see that ship is still following us. Still no response to our challenge I take it?" asked Captain Maybell. "No sir." replied the navigator. "Four days now they've been following us. What do you make of it?" "Looks like pirates sir." "Pirates? What makes you say that?" "The skull and cross-bones sir." "Ah... yes. Indeed. Pirates... but they surely can't shoot down an airship?" "No sir. Well, not without a missile anyway." "Hmmm... well I think if they had a missile they'd have used it by now. Most puzzling. Keep an eye on them." "Sir." |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 12 2008, 04:57 PM Post #545 |
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Duke
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[Aboard the airship Autojuncture, over the Sea of Regret] "What is it private?" asked Captain Forthmagnet. The young man looked shiftily up and down the corridor."I... well... it's Captain Maybell sir. He's not right." "I'm well aware of that. How long have I been locked up here?" "Four months sir." "Four months of quarantine?" "Sir, he told us you were a terrorist. I overheard him accusing you of killing your crew. That's rubbish sir, we examined your ship. Burnt out and full of holes she was." "What about Robloads?" "The man with you on the island? He got away sir." "Good show." "Sir, we intercepted a communication a few months ago, it's a huge conspiracy, but the captain just dismisses it. You need to hear it sir." "Right then, let's go." They left the quarantine cell and crept down several intersecting corridors. "What's your name private?" "Clarke sir. Faust Clarke. Ah, here we are, comms room." Clarke opened the door and then went inside. He sat down at a terminal and called up a radio intercept dated 14/04/08. "We caught this just after the first Symyano announcement. It was encrypted and took us some time to decode, but we cracked it eventually." He clicked play and President Vishni's voice rang out over the speakers. "Greetings to the exulted Symyano Hegemony! Please allow me to offer the warmest welcome on behalf of the Barely Disguised Contempt of Disposablepuppetland. I humbly offer our willing servitude and, as a gesture of absolute submission, I offer you the working class population of Disposablepuppetland in slavery. All I ask in return is that you destroy that stubborn fool President Vershner, and allow me to join your ranks. It would be a great honour to serve as regent of the vassal state of Disposablepuppetland, in the name of the greater Symyano Hegemony. Yours sycophantically, Clarrents Vishni" |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 12 2008, 09:11 PM Post #546 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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The Journal of Dr Henry Phone I hope that the team back in Hesslia are safe - we've heard nothing from them since the Symyano came down. My son, Henry Jr, is forever asking when we will return. No sense of priority, that boy! He'd sooner be 'adventuring' than getting down to the serious archaeological business at hand. Work continues otherwise uninterrupted out here in the Hesslian Sea. It seems the Ahztlarhan dig has gone unnoticed by the invaders, one has to wonder how long that will stay true, however. Our divers have been bringing up artifacts from the temple below including, and this is where it gets exciting, a sealed chest that turned out to contain a number of scrolls. The language bears a resemblance to Antique Rhanukhani, lending credence to the belief that this site really is Ahztlarhan - the mythical homeland of the Rhanukhi tribe! I haven't had the opportunity to attempt any translations yet but we could be holding the earliest history of our nation right here! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 12 2008, 09:12 PM Post #547 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Kanghari Main Laboratories] Any luck finding Doctor Wallclock yet? None sir. Apart from that news report of a "monster" in East Kanghari during the week there's been nothing that could be him - we can't even be sure if that was him! It had to be... and if he's headed that way then he must be aiming for the coast - make sure all harbours are covered! Sir! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 12 2008, 09:13 PM Post #548 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Main port, Bhanakha] Please! I'll work my way! Hnn! Fine! I've heard from the other captains that ye've been asking all over the harbour fer passage out o' Rhanukhan. Thank you! You won't regret this. Yhaar - I better not! What's yer name, man? Pete- err, Bruce! Bruce? ah, yes... Bruce... Spanner? Hmm... very well, Mister Spanner - we cast off in an hour. |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 12 2008, 09:14 PM Post #549 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Fifth interview with Gary Mantlepiece. Agent Delores Spicerack interrogating.] DS: Mantlepiece! GM: Inferior creature, I grow bored of your pitiful interrogations - we Symyano have far more effective methods of obtaining information. DS: Our methods are effective enough. GM: If you say so, though I would say I have learned more about your race whilst sat here in your custody than you have about me. In fact, I don't believe there is any further benefit in my remaining here. I should really return to the fleet now. DS: Is this talk of an escape plan, Mantlepiece? How do you intend to pull that off? GM: Perhaps I should show you. DS: What? You think you can actually get past me and out of this building, Mantlepiece? GM: Ha! I imagine Chonmiklatt's enhanced soldiers are probably all over this building - I wouldn't last more than a few seconds. No... I have a much simpler method of escaping. DS: And what might that be, Mant- what are you doing?! GM: Why, withdrawing... inferior creature... DS: Whatever it is, stop it! GM: I doubt... we will... see... each... other... agai- *thud!* DS: GUARD! Guard: He - he's dead, Agent Spicerack! DS: What?! How?! Guard: I couldn't say - there's not a mark on him. DS: Gah! Take the body to the morgue - perhaps we can still learn something from him! Guard: At once, Agent. DS: And get me anything we have on the name, Chonmiklatt... it sounds familiar for some reason... |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 12 2008, 09:15 PM Post #550 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Constantine Malachite's Command Centre, Lehpuhrta] +++ATTENTION! THIRD WAVE OF SYMYANO AIR-CARRIERS INCOMING+++ They're obviously aware that we're co-ordinating the defence of Rhanukhan. +++AFFIRMATIVE+++ hmm... have you come up with a way of using the OrbiTech Satellite Network against ground-based targets without incinerating everything around them yet? +++NEGATIVE - ORBITECH SATELLITE NETWORK WAS DEVELOPED PURELY AS A SPACE COMBAT SYSTEM+++ Well, keep working on it! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 12 2008, 09:15 PM Post #551 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani Defence Primary Command Hub, Lehpuhrta] "They're coming at us from all sides!" I hear you, Purple. All unit commanders fall back to sub-perimeter six, and prepare to detonate mines on my signal. Positive ID on your pursuer, Yellow - dive and perform a Jamjar Maneuver. He's been caught out by that one before. "Roger that!" Re-route grid seventy six - I want the gravity field in that quarter at maximum output! Prepare to raise turrets nineteen-bravo through forty five-echo. What?! Then run a bypass! |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 13 2008, 12:26 AM Post #552 |
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Duke
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[dohtml] <table style="border: 2px solid black; cellspacing: 0px; width: 800px; background-color: #ffffff;"><tr><td> <table border=0 width=100%> <tr> <td align=left valign=top><img src="http://vershner.co.uk/ns/themob.png"><br><font face="Arial, sans-serif">Saturday 12th July 2008</font></td> <td align=right valign=top><img src="http://vershner.co.uk/ns/themob2.png"><br><font face="Arial, sans-serif">Only ℑ.20</font></td> </tr> </table> <center> <table style="width: 750px; border: 2px solid black; padding: 10px" > <tr><td><center><img src="http://vershner.co.uk/ns/comeonthen.png"></font><br><img src="http://vershner.co.uk/ns/nostromo.jpg"></center> <font face="Arial, sans-serif" size=4><b><u>Aliens land in Cranbury!</u></b></font><br> <font face="Arial, sans-serif" size=3>A Symyano spaceship has landed on the outskirts of Cranbury, in southern DPL, and begun slaughtering the local residents. The ship was first seen descending at around mid-day on Friday but police sent to investigate did not return. At ten o'clock this morning, Symyano soldiers with heavy weapons disembarked and began a wild rampage through the city, shooting civilians on sight.<br> President Vishni, speaking to <i>The Mob</i> earlier, said "I told you so! Ha ha ha!" and showed no concern for the lives of the people of Cranbury. When asked if a military force would be sent to the city he replied "Yes. We don't want any of those disobedient wretches escaping."<br> The country may yet find a saviour though. General Vershner, son of former president, General Vershner, made a public announcement at six o'clock this evening, vowing to fight the Symyan invasion. Vershner, 31, has been leading the rebellion against the Vishni government from the rebel stronghold in the city of Hollow. He made the broadcast on the commercial TV station <i>FTP</i>, also based in Hollow and known to support the rebellion.<br> Vershner has so far made no statement on how or when he fight the Symyano. The current size and strength of his forces is also unknown, although reports suggest people are leaving towns across the country in their hundreds to join the rebellion. <i>The Mob</i> says: Good luck lads! We're behind you every step of the way. Give those monkeys a right hammering! </font> </td> </tr> </table><br> <table style="cellspacing: 0px; width: 750px; background-color: #000000;"> <tr> <td align=center><font face="Arial, sans-serif" size=3 color=#ffffff><b>WIN ℑ50,000 PLAYING SUPER-LOTTO-WONDER-DRAW BINGO! TURN TO PAGE 21 NOW!</b></font> </td> </tr> </table> </center> </td></tr> </table> [/dohtml] |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 13 2008, 01:10 AM Post #553 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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(OOC: So the Mob is clearly a highbrow, upmarket broadsheet then? )
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 13 2008, 04:51 PM Post #554 |
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Duke
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[Central DPL] Gryles Wyndsvept had first begun to doubt his sanity a few months back while tilling one of his fields. A number of wooden crates had appeared out of thin air, right in front of his eyes. Gryles had sensibly given the nearest crate both barrels of his shotgun, and it had, quite ordinarily, disintegrated. He finished off the rest with an axe, then wisely dismissed it as 'one of those things' and tried to forget the whole incident. Unfortunately this proved impossible as more and more objects started appearing in his fields. First more crates, then the week after a cage full of mice. Next week a dog, then a man in a space-suit, and then finally a lorry full of troops. Gryles gave them all both barrels of this shotgun, except the dog, who turned out to be quite good at chasing down rabbits, so Gryles named him Tennis, and took him in. Today confirmed it though. Gryles had gone stark staring mad. He was sitting on his tractor, eating his lunch, in the middle of a field. Tennis was happily scratching himself on the passenger seat. In the distance, travelling along the old east road, were three tractors and a scooter. They were clearly being driven by monkeys. In fact, there were monkeys all over them. There were three on the scooter alone. All of the monkeys seemed to be wearing brown uniforms, although many in taters, and several were carrying weapons. The lead tractor was towing a plough, and seemed to be trying to plough the road surface. The second tractor was towing a muck spreader spewing muck high into the air. Several monkeys were sat on the pressure tank. The last tractor was towing an old wooden cart loaded with hay bails. Numerous monkeys were sat on the hay bails looking up at the sky, where a number of fiends were circling, watching the procession intently. Gryles frowned. It was all in his head. It was just an apparition. A figment of his imagination. An illusion. Gryles knew how to deal with illusions. He took careful aim with his shotgun. ------------------------------------------- "SURELY THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT OPERATING MODE FOR THIS VEHICLE?" shouted Lieutenant Ryturnclydd over the din of the over-revved tractor's engine. "I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT SIR." replied Private Mikkidewnioo, struggling with the mechanism. "SIR! ANOTHER VEHICLE APPROACHING." announced Corporal Dayvejhonss, who was driving the tractor. The Lieutenant looked up and saw another tractor in the distance. "CORPORAL GERALDUU", he shouted to the Symyan riding the scooter, "ACCELERATE TO MAXIMUM SPEED AND INVESTIGATE THE APPROACHING VEHICLE." Corporal Geralduu revved his engine and the scooter pulled ahead, the two privates balanced on the back struggled to hold on as the tiny vehicle wobbled beneath them. They were only a few metres ahead of the tractor though when a shot rang out. The scooter wobbled, swerved violently, then overbalanced and skidded into the field. One of the privates fell under the tractor and was ripped up by the teeth of the plough, the other held on a bit longer and collapsed into a ditch. After a few moments he gathered his senses, got up and tried to catch up with the tractors. "INCOMING!" screamed a lookout from the top of the hay bails. Shots were fired into the air but it was useless. A fiend tore out of the sky and brought down the helpless private. Geralduu glanced nervously at the sky as he struggled to restart the scooter. ------------------------------------------- The tractor convoy was now passing Gryles' field as he reloaded the shotgun. He started up his own tractor and headed towards the road. Taking aim, he fired at the group of monkeys on the muck spreader. The shot struck the side of the tank, but one of the startled troops slipped and fell into the spreader. The muck-flow stopped for a moment, the machine spluttered, then with a loud pop, propelled the unfortunate Symyan thirty feet across the field. Another fiend barrelled down to finish him off. Some of the troops on the hay bails had stopped shooting at the fiends and were now taking aim at Gryles. He ducked down behind the engine block and reloaded. As the convoy continued down the road he turned to follow them. He was just about to take another shot when a burst of automatic fire came from behind him, ripping the front wheel of the tractor apart. Corporal Geralduu screamed past on the scooter, its tiny engine belching smoke. The tractor juddered to a halt as its front axle dragged along the road, Gryles and Tennis were thrown forward over the bonnet. Gryles collapsed onto the road, but Tennis landed on his front paws and tore off down the road after the scooter. Geralduu glanced behind him as he reached the convoy and saw Tennis in hot pursuit. His mind flashed back to the terrible chase through the forest after the Valleri crashed, when creatures like this ripped his comrades to shreds. He span round and opened fire but the recoil put him off balance and he swerved into a ditch. As he scrambled up the bank Tennis leapt into the ditch and clamped his jaws onto the corporal's foot. "Aaahhhh" he screamed as he was dragged back down. "Good dog!" said Gryles breathlessly as he reached the ditch. "Good boy! Well done!" He fished a dog biscuit out of his pocket and threw it to Tennis. "Now then..." he said, turning to Geralduu. "What shall I do with you?" "Mostly I shoots illusions... helps keep the mind clear... unless they're of some use to me..." he lowered his shotgun "So tell me young monkey... are you any good at catching rabbits?" |
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| Glerica | Jul 13 2008, 06:40 PM Post #555 |
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Squire
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Captain's Log, Kelli Irving Doctor? I can finally make these without them detecting it. I am on-board the Symyan mother-ship... or at least I think its a mother ship, I can't really tell. My splort got through undetected when they were too busy blowing up missiles or something. My mission is to find out exactly their plans, infiltration, deception and sabotage... if I could understand anything. I've downloaded a bunch of files from their computer system, but I don't understand what any of them are, maybe you'll have better luck Doctor. I'm going to try and find their power source, see if I can make any headway with it. Signing off. |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 14 2008, 07:27 PM Post #556 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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The Journal of Dr Henry Phone The scrolls are proving fascinating! There are early versions of some myths we still know today but other stories which have been lost in the mists of time! It seems the people of Ahztlarhan were just small, scattered tribes and families but somebody brought all the concepts of civilization to them at once. There's mention of a "hairy man" and "woman of light" and a tribe of "golden people" who lived in the sky. It's almost certainly superstitious nonsense - there are similar outrageous stories in the early mythology of several classical civilizations - but it's truly breathtaking to be reading the beliefs of these earliest Rhanukhani. My son has spent the day engaged in target practice with his revolver and has found a whip somewhere on board which he's been playing all sorts of silly games with. I'm sure he'd be devoting his attention fully to the Ahztlarhan project if his head wasn't filled with ideas of adventure and fighting the Symyano! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 14 2008, 07:31 PM Post #557 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani National Security Agency Headquarters] Seriously, Agent Spicerack - Gary Mantlepiece's body is essentially the same as any other human's! If I didn't know that I was looking at anything different I probably never would have spotted this! What is that? It was located in his brain - we believe it's a receiver of some kind. A receiver for what? We theorize that this humanoid body is controlled remotely by an actual Symyano agent somewhere - it would explain how they were able to infiltrate our society for all these years... It certainly would... and it would explain what Mantlepiece meant by "withdrawing" - he's returned to his real body! gah! He did get away! hn - well, now that we know about these, could we trace the signals? Possibly - I'll have the technicians look into it. Thanks. Oh - did you find out anything on that name? Chonmiklatt? Yes - there's one mention of it on record - back when the previous Symyano fleetmaster tried to destroy Rhanukhan city. Hn - I remember that day - Governor Malachite blasted them out of the sky. I still can't believe we had to let him walk free even with all that evidence against him! Yes well, perhaps you'll have something else against him. The Symyano fleetmaster... Boohubalss was his name... made an announcement that Governor Malachite was this Chonmiklatt - one of his infiltrators. What?! Yes... it could have simply been some misinformation to keep us all off-balance - it certainly encouraged the military to launch that nuclear missile at Lehpuhrta - but the news was curiously quiet about that afterwards... almost as if Malachite had somebody working for him to keep unwanted information away from the public perhaps? hmm... it does begin to look that way... I'll tell you what. Get those technicians working on a way to disrupt the Symyano infiltrators' control signals - it's certainly another useful weapon against those hairy slackers! At once, Agent Spicerack... but... what if it turns out Governor Malachite really is this Chonmiklatt? Then I don't expect we'll have to waste hardworking taxpayers' money bringing him to trial, will we? |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 14 2008, 07:34 PM Post #558 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Central Studios] (Dwight Alabaster, Ghattoria) "...the Symyano ground forces encircling the provincial capital. Clouds of Doctor Wallclock's famous toxic gas can regularly be seen blowing out into the desert where the effects on the invaders can only be as devastating as they were during the earlier occupation..." (Gillian Towelrail, Lehpuhrta) "...have Symyano troops desperately struggling to hold positions all over the island in the face of heavy assaults from Governor Malachite's GBI-1 super soldiers. Billy - quick - get a shot of that! As you can see, here in the..." (Jonathan Spatula, Kanghari) "...where people are still passing round stories of the large yellow "monster" allegedly witnessed in the area last week..." (Sophie Futon, Rhanukhan city) "...street-to-street fighting has been particularly intense here, in the densely packed alleyways of the Behdarran district just to the east of the Palace of the Dedicated Worker. Ambushes by both sides are a regular occurance and many civilians are choosing to live in the factories they work in rather than risk the commute..." Alright, edit Jonathan's story down for an "and finally" spot - I can't believe we have to cover such nonsense - and lead with Sophie in the capital. Tell Trent he's on in fifteen minutes! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 14 2008, 07:35 PM Post #559 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Somewhere in Disposablepuppetland] #WITHDRAWAL SUCCESSFUL AGENT GAMBILDITT - DRAINING AND OPENING COMMAND WOMB# Graaargh! *kak! kak!* At last! *koff!* No more running around in that ugly avatar! *hak!* hrmm... it will be a pleasure to see my own features in the mirror again - I barely remember what I look like! FirstPlace - provide my field uniform and equipment. #ACKNOWLEDGED# And then scan for nearest signs of Symyano activity - I wish to return to my comrades! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 14 2008, 07:37 PM Post #560 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Intercepted Transmission, source uncertain] ...imone, the device is almost complet..............xpect to attem..............irst test run withi...............t few days. Acknowledged, Agent Blue, I am pleased that your signal is still getting through - have you ascertained where you are yet? No, we hav......................ansmitter on full power just to g.............nection with you though so i...................uite a distance. Affirmative. The Gateway surprised us all when it splorted the whole of Glerica - I was concerned that I had lost you and your team... and the important work you have been carrying out on my behalf. [signal lost] |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 14 2008, 07:38 PM Post #561 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Constantine Malachite's Command Centre, Lehpuhrta] Governor Malachite! An update on the "Simone" situation! You've found out who she is?! I'm growing tired of the amount of times she's leaked information to that Towelrail woman! I'm afraid not sir, but we did intercept a weak transmission onto the island - it was definitely for her again. She's apparently in touch with an Agent Blue. I thought he was dead, sir? Not really... just MIA at the moment - he was in Glerica but we lost communications with him and his team before all that trouble with the Gateway began. Presumably he's still there now, wherever Glerica is these days. You're certain that the signal came from Blue? Whoever it was answered to that name, sir. Where did the transmission come from? It was impossible to triangulate a source before we lost it, sir, there was very little in the fragment of conversation we overheard that could tell us where it was either. hmm... were you able to pin down which receiver picked up the transmission? Yes, sir! I ordered a team of GBI-2 security agents to the building immediately but it was deserted when they arrived. Whoever this Simone is, she must have guessed we were coming and cleared out. Computer! Do you have any security footage of the building in question? +++AFFIRMATIVE - THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF ANY INDIVIDUAL ENTERING OR LEAVING THE BUILDING DURING THE APPROPRIATE TIMEFRAME+++ Well that's odd... |
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| Glerica | Jul 14 2008, 08:23 PM Post #562 |
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Squire
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Splort Command, Silkisle "Doctor, the reports from Captain Irving have come in" "Ted, I'm a little bit preoccupied with trying to find an entire nation and everything on it" Ted Proxy, one of the remaining Lab technicians that hasn't been shot, poisoned, splorted out or nuked, was technically the highest ranking member in the command centre after Doctor Rogers, which was a bit of a surprise to him considering this was a temporary summer job so he could earn some money before college. "Sorry doctor..." "Wait! Get the scanners on! Put them through the DPL Orbitech system, so we get worldwide coverage... Okay.. start with Infra Red" "Nothing." "UV?" "Nothing" "Heat Scanners?" "Nothing bar the major cities." "Banalite detection?" "Nothing except the big blob in the Sea of Regret" "Urgh... where are you?" |
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| Glerica | Jul 14 2008, 08:33 PM Post #563 |
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Squire
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Captain's Log, Somewhere onboard the Symyan Mothership Me again, the chimps seem very excited, lots of marching and shouting, and if I'm not mistaken - although I'm still trying to grasp this language- something about a spike? I've tried to track it down and I think I'm onto something, I saw a massive blue spike, it seemed to be a ship or a building or something and I think they're preparing to launch it at the world, as a sort of base on the surface. What was that? [static] I have to go. |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 17 2008, 08:20 PM Post #564 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Aboard the RSS Studious Intent somewhere in the Hesslian Sea] Junior! Come see! The translations are- where on earth did you get that hat?! You like it, Dad? It was behind the cupboard in one of the empty cabins. Never mind - look! We've translated more of the scrolls. I'm beginning to suspect that this "hairy man" and "woman of light" may be based on genuine historical figures. Are you sure? The stories claim they could do all sorts of outlandish things... see... here... "and then the hairy man returned to his... chariot of onyx?... and took to the skies, returning whence he came" I know - obviously the stories have been exaggerated... the country of the "golden tribe" is described as being "beyond the clouds" in several of the scripts - it's probably just a fancy way of saying they came from the mountains - perhaps the range around Rapaena in Atraxes - they'd be conveniently close. People could have easily journeyed from there to the Ahztlarhan valley before it was inundated. Perhaps, but what about this guy - the "golden tribe"'s champion? It mentions him entering some kind of battle frenzy... here it is... "and his height and his girth did increase until he had thrice the stature and twenty times the strength of any of the warriors of the south and those men that saw him trembled with fear and fled." That couldn't possibly be true! Which is a shame because we could certainly use men like him to fight against the Symyano! Again with those damned Symyano! We have proper armed forces to deal with them, Junior! Now here, help me with this next scroll... |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 17 2008, 08:22 PM Post #565 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Aboard the RSS Perspiration of Toil entering the Hesslian Sea] Yahaar! Ye scurvy wretch! Ye call this scrubbing?! Sorry Captain - I'm working as hard as I can! Well 'tis not hard enough, Mr Spanner! There be barnacles clinging to the hull that do more work on this ship than ye! Please! Don't get me stressed! You won't like me when I'm stressed... Pah! Ye think ye worry me, Mr Spanner? I want to see me face, not me footprints, in this deck when I get back, Spanner! Do you hear me?! Nnnngh! Nnngh! N-h-aaahhh... hah! hnf! I - I'll get right onto it Captain! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 17 2008, 08:24 PM Post #566 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Aboard the Symyano Flagship, Northern Lazarastra] Exalted Fleetmaster! That accursed gas of the Rhanukhani is wiping out our troops wherever it is deployed. Several of this world's nations appear to have it now! I-it is as you say, exalted one, however, we may have found a solution! What? Where?! In the global data storage network of these inferior creatures themselves. They have such a network? Indeed - they call it their "internet". What? Truly? Ha! That is a silly name - it sounds almost like, like - haha - "innutern'at" hahahaha! *snort* Innutern'at! haha! Indeed, your exaltedness! hahaha! But enough - such infantile humour should remain the province of children - tell me of this solution! At once exalted Fleetmaster! It appears that these creatures have deployed gas based weapons against each other for many orbits of this world- Pah! Why am I not surprised to learn they are experts in such crude forms of combat? I assume they at least showed enough intelligence to protect their own soldiers in the event of the wind changing direction, yes? They did, exaltedness. It would appear their troops wore a device called a "gas mask" - it appears to be some form of filter mechanism worn over the mouth and nose to permit the user to continue breathing the tainted air. A filter? How primitively crude! They honestly never tried to genetically modify themselves to become immune to the poisons? It seems not, your exaltedness... and, dare I say it, that particular method has thus far failed for us against the Rhanukhani ga- Silence! There will be no more talk of failure! Very well. "When in Teeh'Pahrteeh, do as the Teeh'Parteehn do" - I want all troops issued with these... "gas masks"... at the earliest opportunity! I-it shall be as you say, e-exalted fleetmaster. |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 18 2008, 07:11 PM Post #567 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Kanghari Main Laboratories] I understand, Your Resplendence - AltSoldier will be on the field a.s.a.p! "Good work, Tumbledryer!" *click* *sigh* though I don't know how... How did Wallclock get past us?! He was definitely in Bhanakha, sir - numerous witnesses state that a man answering his description was seeking passage on any outbound ship. I know! But we have no idea which one he managed to get on - he'd clearly left by the time we arrived! We have teams tracing all vessels that left that day sir. Good - let me know the instant you have anything. Sir! And you! Tell me you've come up with a solution for AltSoldier's current absence. We have indeed sir - let me introduce... AltSoldier 2! Alt. Soldier. 2?... Oh yes - this is the answer - AltSoldier 2 is ready to take on the missions that we were preparing the original AltSoldier for. He's just as tall as the proposed AltSoldier and- Just... just wait a minute... Sir? You're telling me that this is what you've come up with to fill AltSoldier's decidedly large shoes? Yes sir! This is- This is a GBI-1 sat on the shoulders of... yes... another GBI-1... hidden under a long trenchcoat. erm... GET BACK IN THAT LAB AND GET WORKING ON RECREATING WALLCLOCK'S SERUM!!! |
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| rhanukhan | Jul 18 2008, 07:15 PM Post #568 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Aboard the Symyano Flagship, Northern Lazarastra] Exalted Fleetmaster! All vessels are now producing the gas masks you ordered and dispersing them amongst the ground troops. Excellent! The inferior creatures will soo- #YOU MUST BE THE REAL MAN WITH HUGE DIGNITY# What? What was that? erm... it is the vessel's computer, your exaltedness... I know that, you fool! What did it mea- #BE NOT AFRAID TO VARY AND CHANGE THE LIFE, AFTER ALL ALL BECOMES TO THE BEST# Do what?! What is going on?! ah... apologies, exalted fleetmaster - we have been experiencing this for the last turn of this world... it appears to have- #YOUR BEVY OF BEAUTIES WILL ASTOUND!# -have started during our search of the inferior creatures' "internet". One of the technicians opened an archive of images of their females in various states of undress - we have yet to ascertain the purpose of such an archive - and moments later these files began arriving from- #I KNOW WHAT GIRLS DO ON FARM - DON'T LEAVE THEM THERE LONELY!# -from locations all over the planet. They are meaningless gibberish! What purpose do they serve?! They consume a large portion of our technicians' time, and the computer's resources, in our efforts to get rid of them, exalted one - we even had to isolate several of our vessels - including this one - from the rest of the fleet, electronically, when it was discovered that- #BOMB HER WOMB FROM YOUR HUGE CANNON!!!!# -hn, that the files were copying themselves into connected computers. Are you telling me this is some form of electronic warfare being waged against us?! Those accursed creatures continue to- #YOU LOOK VERY STUPID RIGHT NOW, [COOHUDALSS]# What?! How?!!! SOMEBODY TURN OFF THE AUDIO OUTPUT - NOW!!! |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 19 2008, 06:40 PM Post #569 |
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Duke
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[Central DPL] "SIR! OBSTACLE AHEAD SIR!" shouted Corporal Dayvejhonss. Lieutenant Ryturnclydd looked up. He and Private Mikkidewnioo were still trying to figure out how to raise the plough and stop it dragging along the road. The lieutenant climbed back onto the tractor and looked down the road. A thin line could be seen cutting through the fields about two kilometres away to their right. It gradually curved round and crossed the road before curving right again and over the horizon. "ANOTHER ROAD PERHAPS?" wondered the lieutenant. Corporal Dayvejhonss had unclipped his personal scanner from his belt and was now examining the line. "IT'S NOT A ROAD SIR. LOOKS LIKE SIX METAL RAILS RUNNING IN PARALLEL." "DEFENCES?" "COULD BE SIR... AH... THE SCANNER REPORTS THAT THE SECOND AND FIFTH RAILS HAVE A HIGH POTENTIAL DIFFERENCE... AH... BUT THOSE RAILS DO NOT CROSS THE ROAD" "UNLIKELY TO BE DEFENCES THEN. MAYBE IT'S TO CONTAIN SOME OF THESE CREATURES WE'VE BEEN ENCOUNTERING." They were now approaching the rails and Ryturnclydd could see them clearly. They certainly didn't look like defences. The six rails were spaced about two metres apart and the electrified rails were suspended above a small ditch, presumably to prevent them arcing. The road crossing looked safe enough though, the ditches flattened out there and the electrified rails stopped and ran through underground cables. "KEEP GOING. LOOKS SAFE ENOUGH." Dayvejhonss put his foot down and the tractor clattered towards the crossing. He held his breath as the front wheels bumped over the first rail, but nothing happened. The large back wheels bounced over easily then there was a terrific clang as the plough blades hit the rail. The plough jolted upwards and Mikkidewnioo was thrown forward onto Dayvejhonss. The tractor carried on and soon hit the next rail. The plough was once again jolted into the air as it hit the rail. "JUST KEEP GOING!" shouted the lieutenant. The wheels bumped over the next rail but this time the twisted plough blades crashed into the rail and held fast. "WHAT THE..." shouted Ryturnclydd as he was hurled onto the bonnet of the tractor. The following tractor towing the muck-spreader swerved and narrowly avoided the tangled plough. It clattered over the remaining rails and skidded off the road into the field beyond. The third tractor towing the hay cart was less fortunate. The driver spun the steering wheel and the tractor juddered round, the front wheel just clipping the plough blades, but the momentum of the hay cart carried on forward, jackknifing the tractor, and it smashed into the back of the plough. Dayvejhonss had managed to stay in his seat. He gunned the engine and tried to pull free, but the wheels just slipped and skidded. "KEEP TRYING", shouted Ryturnclydd, and took out his pistol. He clambered back over to the plough and fired at the bolts holding it on to the tractor. On the third shot the bolts gave way and the tractor lurched forward and he tumbled over the back, hitting his head on the road. "CURSES!" screamed the lieutenant as he rubbed his head. He stood up and examined the plough. It was firmly wedged under the rail and the cart was well jammed into the mechanism. "SIR! Another vehicle sighted! Looks like it's headed this way sir", announced Corporal Dayvejhonss, looking through his scanner. "Another of these contraptions?" asked the lieutenant, pointing disdainfully at the tractor. "No sir, much larger and faster. It seems to be travelling on these rails sir." "So they're a kind of road... interesting..." Ryturnclydd could now make out the vehicle in the distance. It did seem to be very large, in fact, the rear end was still beyond the horizon. "It's running on three of the tracks sir, presumably powered by the electrified central rail." The lieutenant looked down at the rails. "So it must be at least four metres wide... about eight metres high... and about a kilometre in length..." "Yes sir. My scanner records the vehicle's speed as approximately one hundred and ninety three kilometres per hour. Should get here in about two minutes sir." "Splendid! This is exactly what we need. We will commandeer this vehicle." Ryturnclydd ordered his troops back onto the hay cart that was blocking the rails. He and Dayvejhonss then stood in front, their weapons ready. They could now clearly make out the details of the vehicle as it approached. It was a dark, dirty grey colour, with occasional dirty yellow diagonal stripes. At the front it had a large metal fixing consisting of two curved triangular sections joined together to form a lowered point at the base of the vehicle. "What do you suppose that front piece is for corporal? Aerodynamics perhaps?" "A bit elaborate for streamlining I think. Maybe for clearing snow or mud?" "Ah yes, could be... or animals perhaps?" "Yes sir. Possibly." "Err... Is the vehicle slowing down corporal?" Corporal Dayvejhonss aimed his scanner again. "Err... no sir." "What would you estimate the mass of the vehicle to be?" The corporal tapped button on his scanner. "Between eight thousand and twelve thousand tons sir." The two of them subconsciously began edging their way off the tracks. "Is it slowing down yet?" "N-n-no sir!" Ryturnclydd fired a warning burst over the approaching vehicle. "S-s-s-s-peeding up sir!!" "TAKE AIM", the lieutenant turned to the troops on the hay cart, "OPEN FI....." The 12:30 from Raspberry Fields Central smashed through the hay cart sending fragments of wood and soldiers flying in all directions. The passengers on the train barely felt the bump of the impact as the cart disintegrated. The train continued to increase speed as it raced through the flat countryside of central DPL heading towards the Blackcurrant Heights. |
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| disposablepuppetland | Jul 19 2008, 10:22 PM Post #570 |
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Duke
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[Central DPL] The 12:30 from Raspberry Fields Central continued on its way.
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