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The Great Banana Rush
Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,483 Views)
New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
99 hours after the first press conference was held concerning the events on the border, General Longwater stands up to the podium in the hall again to address press reporters.

He is an unusally good mood...

"Esteemed members of the glorious media. I can assure the people in the NDR Alpha Outpost that there is nothing to worry about. The reporter (points to the man who raised concerns at the last conference) who warned me about monsters is clearly deranged. Out of a moment of weakness I went with the division I ordered to the border to check things out for myself. 70 miles south of the Lazarastran border, and 20 miles north of this base, I saw a mass of wonderful Lazarastran citizens carrying flowers. They are on a mission to bring love and happiness to the mainland. After a meeting with them, I realised that mankind is a weak race. Humans lack intelligence, strength, and genes composed of banana. Lazarastra has found a way to tackle those problems. Every solider of the division has been shown the way. They, and the Lazarastran citizens, are coming back to the base to teach everyone else. I will personally be going back to NDR to spread the word."
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Report from Billian Pnobe: Administrator of the drilling platform Ebon Sunday]
Just over three hours ago we lost radio contact with one of our survey ships, the Plumbum Sky Hook. She was investigating possible drilling locations off the coast of Ego Island, but reported difficulties in navigation due to thick fog. After she failed to report in a fast patrol boat was sent to locate her, but no sign of the ship can be found. A full scale search has been initiated and we would appreciate any offers of assistance from other vessels in the Sea of Regret.

This matter has been reported to the Ministry of Defence and if it transpires that Glerican forces were involved a military response will be considered.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
General Longwater has left by plane for New Drakensberg Range. Lt. General Alan Dontrustem has been left in charge of NDR's military forces on the mainland of the FBE. He is holding a military conference, at the Outpost, which is being attended by some of the most senior military commanders in the NDR Armed Forces.

Dontrustem speaks:

"I don't like this. The General didn't leave any orders for me, which is stupid considering that the Outpost is about to become the venue for thousands of Lazarastrans. Hell, why are Lazarastrans even coming here? I couldn't believe what he was saying at the press conference earlier about teaching us about a 'way'. This is so damn ridiculous. He didn't even explain what the hell happened up north along the border."

Major General Teddy Sawdust respondes:

"You're in charge. The General didn't leave you any orders, so you can decide what to do."

"I realise that, and that's why I plan to follow the course of action I believe is correct" says Dontrustem. "I'll order the commander of the division to turn his forces around and head back for the border." "As for the Lazarastrans, I will not allow them to enter the Outpost. They have no right to be on our territory."

"The GMS Liberation is on its way. It will arrive within the day. The Lazarastrans will arrive several hours before the Glericans."

"I am looking forward to Liberation's arrival. Perhaps they can help us work out what the hell is going on."

"Oh, and get that reporter that was talking about monsters earlier."

"And, as a safety precaution, I want all the soldiers in the Outpost fully armed. I want lots of men lining the walls of this compound."

"I hope that I'm overeacting..."
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United Idiocracy
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[ *  *  *  *  * ]
GENERAL COMMUNIQUE FROM UNITED IDIOCRACY

Having intercepted various reports concerning events in the Sea of Regret area, and noting the closeness of air routes between NDR and NDR alpha outpost to Northern United Idiocracy, with immediate effect, United Idiocracy's airspace is hereby closed to all NDR aircraft.

Furthermore, all Idiocratic waters are closed to NDR registered vessels.

Please be assured we will protect both Idiocratic airspace and waters with lethal force, if provoked.

Signed Gen Thomas Foolery
President, Dictatorship of United Idicracy
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P-17
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[ *  *  *  *  * ]
It can be confirmed that an elite commando unit from Thugtech, P-17s leading private army, has been despatched from their base on the Isle of Lies to enter the NDR outpost, and look for something to shoot. Major 13 spoke at a press conference today:

"Look, so our mates from NDR have been moaning about military assistance, and we called dibbs on this one. After the conflict with Nivogal flopped the lads have been itching for some action, so hopefully whatever is causing trouble down there won't give up too easily, haha! If there are some tasty NDR scientist-wimmin to rescue then thats veen better, hoho! I'm not too keen on posh birds, mind. But yeah, we're here to kick arse and chew banana, and we're all out of ban- Oh wait, ok then, we're here to kick banana and chew arse... ergh no hang on... er, well, you get the idea."
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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Major-General Eric Winobago, a spokesman for the NDR Armed Forces, has sent this message to the government of United Idiocracy.

Our long-range radar was detecting the aeroplane that was carrying General Longwater to New Drakensberg Range. The radio transmission from UI to the plane, which stated that the plane should change course and ensure that it does not fly over UI airspace, was over-heard. A radar operator saw that the plane did begin to change course, but then the aeroplane suddenly vanished from our radar. There was no drop in its altitude, and no transmission was sent from the plane after UI sent their message.

An E-2 Hawkeye flying close to UI airspace after contact was lost detected debris near the area where the plane was last known to be. New Drakensberg Range wishes UI to confirm that the debris was the plane in question, and we would also like a report on the casualties if the plane is ours.

Thank you in advance for your assistance.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
disposablepuppetland,20 Jan 2008
10:16 PM
[Report from Billian Pnobe: Administrator of the drilling platform Ebon Sunday]
Just over three hours ago we lost radio contact with one of our survey ships, the Plumbum Sky Hook. She was investigating possible drilling locations off the coast of Ego Island, but reported difficulties in navigation due to thick fog. After she failed to report in a fast patrol boat was sent to locate her, but no sign of the ship can be found. A full scale search has been initiated and we would appreciate any offers of assistance from other vessels in the Sea of Regret.

This matter has been reported to the Ministry of Defence and if it transpires that Glerican forces were involved a military response will be considered.

New Drakensberg Range will commit 3 cruisers to help in DPL's operation.
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Youngtung
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Knight of England / Surviving Old Guard
[ *  *  *  * ]
Transcript of a report from the Youngtung News Network (YNN):
Youngtung City: No word on the official standings of the empire on the investigation of the banana-incidents happening all around the region. Suspicion continues to build after the largest military base in the nation, Area 102, completely seals its bridges and is elevated to a WOLF 2 level. Leading analysts are calling the actions taken by the government, "unsettling."

Meanwhile, in various areas throughout the empire, the effects of the bananas are already being felt. In Dundee, a small city located just outside Puerto Chupacabra, haz-mat teams have already moved in and secured a two square kilometer area of the city that is "being infested by a mutated strain of the banana that presents a very large, yet containable source of weap-, er, medicine" says Colonel Sanders.

Also no word on the stance of the empire as to the presence of vessels around Idiocracy. One citizen reported, "There was, like, this huge roar, and, like, a bunch of boats carrying, like, planes were just, like, shooting across the river and up toward that new Sea of Regret thingy. It was really, like, loud, man!"

Political analysts could not be found for their opinions after last Wednesday's Operation Canit in which the empire removed 91% of political-minded people in efforts to squash any possible uprisings. One man in a black cloak, however, asked, "Do you have a quarter gov'ner?" Meanings of this enigmatic phrase have yet to be deciphered.
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Glerica
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[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Captain's Log Transmitted 21/01/08 18:30
Captain Kelli Irving - GMS Liberation

We've lost 3 pilots after a fly-by over Lazarastra went horribly wrong. The details are sketchy, but 3 of our fighters went over for some more survailance and reported back after suffering what they described as a "heavy yellow fog" that disrupted their instruments. They said that infared couldn't even get through... anyway they said they were turning back and then they just vanished. Gone. Like the radar just swept clean. This isn't good. We were a science ship, not a warship. We were only given these three fighter-bombers and two H-Class Helicopters. We've only the helicopters left. Air searches are limited but continue. We've tried contacting B-Base4 for backup but I don't know if they got it or how long they'll be.

We sucessfully got one of the citizens from Lazarastra on board and straight into quarentine.. If this is a disease or virus then we'll... [garbled sounds]...if anything happens. We've sent samples back to the lab at B-Base 4 so they should tell us if anything is wro...[static]. Our prelim tests have come up with something, and the subject is extremely vio..[static] and should not... ... [static].

Hows this? Any better? We're about 6 hours away from Alpha Outpost and I'm transmitting this because we saw alot of people heading there. If anyone can pick this up in Alpha Outpost, don't let them... [static].... ...survi ... ... quarintine... ... highly contag... ... volen... ... be there soon... ... hold on...

[Transmission ends]
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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The message sent by GMS Liberation has been received by the NDR Alpha Outpost. Scouts have reported that many people are within 5 miles of the base.

Lt. General Alan Dontrustem has called an emergency conference with his immediate subordinates.

"The division didn't turn around. There was no response to the transmission we sent to their HQ. Photographs taken by surveillance jet fighters reported that the division has left all of its armour, artillery, aeroplanes, personal weapons, and other military equipment behind in a valley 30 miles from the border. Our soldiers are just marching, unarmed, shoulder-to-shoulder with the Lazarastran citizens" says the General.

Major General Ben Browling respondes, "The message we received from the Glerican ship implies that the people heading towards our base are not the same people they once were. We must prepare for the worse."

"I already have" replied the General. "I have men lining the walls of the compound, fully armed and ready for combat. I have positioned tanks outside of the compound so that they can have a clear field of fire, and I have positioned artillery guns around the compound. I don't want to go the way that the 2nd Battalion did."

"Sir, don't you think that the reporter's statement have influenced your interpretation of the suituation?" replied Brigadier Tommy Underling.

"Everything is just so damn strange. I can't believe they were are faced with a typical and normal problem." replied the General.

"And where the hell is the reporter?"

Colonel Romuntagen, standing to one side, states "We've been trying to find him. This compound is quite big, and the movement of our troops have made the suituation inside the base confusing."

"I want him found immediately, and I want him sent to me straightaway as soon as he is found. He could explain everything" said the General.

[explosion heard, and the room shakes]

"Christ, what was that?!"

(Everyone looks confused. The Colonel goes to a telephone, and starts talking)

"Has the war started?" replied a startled Major General Ben Browling.

"Sirs, one of our fighter jets came under attack by the mass of people. He returned fire by launching a missle against them" stated the Colonel is a calm voice.

"How the hell did they fire at our jet, when they don't have any weapons?!" replied the General.

"I don't know sir" said the Colonel.

The General put his head in his hands momentarily, and then he regained his steady posture, and then proclaimed "Men, prepare for battle!"
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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[Announcement from Billian Pnobe: Administrator of the drilling platform Ebon Sunday]

All ships involved in the search for our survey ship, the Plumbum Sky Hook, may stand down and return to their respective stations. The missing ship has been located by one of our airships. It appears to have sunk in shallow water, approximately half a kilometre off the south-east coast of Ego island. The cause of the sinking has not yet been determined and divers are en-route to the location to conduct an investigation.
So far no survivors have been found, but a number of bodies can be seen floating nearby. Cause of death is currently unknown. It seems likely the rest of the crew could have swum for shore, so a rescue party will head inland immediately to search for them. The Plumbum Sky Hook had a crew of 35. Their families are being contacted.

We extend our gratitude to the government of New Drakensberg Range for their assistance.
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P-17
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As of now, The Isle of Lies is refusing docking from any ship originating from any territories in and around the Sea of Regret. The region has been deemed too virally unstable to conduct a research program into the energy properties of the banana without these precautions. We believe that with sufficient research, a weapon more severe than a nuclear strike is feasible. W look forward to sharing any developments with England's scientific community.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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P-17,20 Jan 2008
10:53 PM
It can be confirmed that an elite commando unit from Thugtech, P-17s leading private army, has been despatched from their base on the Isle of Lies to enter the NDR outpost, and look for something to shoot. Major 13 spoke at a press conference today:

"Look, so our mates from NDR have been moaning about military assistance, and we called dibbs on this one. After the conflict with Nivogal flopped the lads have been itching for some action, so hopefully whatever is causing trouble down there won't give up too easily, haha! If there are some tasty NDR scientist-wimmin to rescue then thats veen better, hoho! I'm not too keen on posh birds, mind. But yeah, we're here to kick arse and chew banana, and we're all out of ban- Oh wait, ok then, we're here to kick banana and chew arse... ergh no hang on... er, well, you get the idea."

The government of NDR extends its thanks to P-17 for providing men and military equipment to help our forces located in the Alpha Outpost.

Radio communications between NDR and the Alpha Outpost are unreliable due to atmospheric disturbances moving towards the Outpost. As a result, we cannot gauge the current condition of the NDR and P-17 military forces. The last transmission received stated:

This is Lt. General Alan Dontrustem. Our radio transmitter is losing power, so this message will be brief. We have engaged an apparently unarmed enemy. However, many of our men have been incapcitated by unknown means. They are still alive, but unconscious. Our armoured defence has been successful in preventing the enemy from breaching the second line of defence. We believe that enemy resistance will be broken shortly.

However, our equipment has detected some sort of unusual cloud moving towards our position. We have no clue as to what it is.

I have been talking to a repoter named Gabriel Matthews. He has important information regarding what happened in Lazarastra. I am putting him on a ship, and I have ordered that ship to sail for


The transmission ended before the destination of the boat could be told. NDR requests that any boat carrying NDR personnel be put under escort, and taken to the nearest country outside of the territories located in the Sea of Regret.
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United Idiocracy
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New Drakensberg Range,21 Jan 2008
01:40 PM
Major-General Eric Winobago, a spokesman for the NDR Armed Forces, has sent this message to the government of United Idiocracy.

Our long-range radar was detecting the aeroplane that was carrying General Longwater to New Drakensberg Range.  The radio transmission from UI to the plane, which stated that the plane should change course and ensure that it does not fly over UI airspace, was over-heard.  A radar operator saw that the plane did begin to change course, but then the aeroplane suddenly vanished from our radar.  There was no drop in its altitude, and no transmission was sent from the plane after UI sent their message.

An E-2 Hawkeye flying close to UI airspace after contact was lost detected debris near the area where the plane was last known to be.  New Drakensberg Range wishes UI to confirm that the debris was the plane in question, and we would also like a report on the casualties if the plane is ours.

Thank you in advance for your assistance.

Report issued to NDR Government

At 10:28 GMT an unidentified aircraft was detected heading towards UI airspace. When no radio contact was made, 2 fighters from UIAFB Sillyton were scrambled to intercept.

10:35 GMT: Unidentified aircraft entered UI airspace.

At 10:42 GMT visual contact was made, and the aircraft was positively identified as of NDR origin. Pilots again attempted to make radio contact, and gave several warnings of the consequences of non-compliance.

10:45 GMT: Col. Rod Trapese-Zium, CO of UIAFB Sillyton authorised use of deadly force.

10:46 GMT: 1 CorkScrew missile was fired. NDR aircraft attempted to take evasive action, but suffered a direct hit. Confirmed destroyed by fighter pilots.

Subsequent searches by ground troops failed to find survivors, only wreckage spread over large area. No remains were located.

Please be advised that any further violations of UI airspace or waters will not be tolerated.

Gen Ron Bacardi
Defense Minister
United Idiocracy
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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The government of NDR is outraged by this attack. We have confirmed that our radars detected that the plane was not in UI airspace, and the plane was changing course to the effect that it would not enter UI airspace.

We demand an immediate apology, and £5 million pounds in reperations as a response to this attack.
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
As a gesture of thanks for the assistance provided during the search, the government of Disposablepuppetland has decided to allow all New Drakensberg Range vessels operating in The Sea of Regret access to our communications network. We have four airships operating in the area and they are each equipped with high power, narrow-beam, multi-frequency transmitters. So far we have had no radio interference. Three of the airships are controlled remotely can stay airborne indefinitely, being solar powered. The fourth is a heavy-lifter, capable of carrying 80 tons, and powered by a small, lightweight nuclear reactor. This may be called upon for emergency evacuations.

Officers on board the Ebon Sunday will contact you with the necessary frequencies, and encryption codes.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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The government is extremely honored to have been offered the employment of the network. We will use it to allow us to communicate with our forces in the Alpha Outpost

The government would like DPL to assist NDR in one other way, if the government of DPL does not mind. We would like to know if you have a data regarding the flight of our plane that was destroyed by UI aircraft.
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disposablepuppetland
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We will check our logs and get back to you on that.
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United Idiocracy
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Message from Gen. Thomas Foolery, President of United Idiocracy

UI dismisses the claims of the NDR government, for the following reasons:

1) The NDR aircraft was located 3 miles inside UI airspace when destroyed.
2) The course change observed was initiated so as to attempt to avoid CorkScrew missile.

The attack was authorised after all attempts to communicate failed. The responsibility for the downing lies solely with the pilot of the NDR aircraft, after failing to respond to all communication attempts - both radio and visual.

We will take all steps required to protect ourselves from the effects of the banana-based pollution. As I speak the armed forces of UI have been placed on full alert.

We will not bow to threats in this time of crisis!

Message ends
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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Our radar logs confirm that the NDR aircraft did stray into Idiotic airspace, but only by 1.5km. We also picked up repeated warnings from Idiocracy, ordering the aircraft to leave the area. We also picked up responses from the pilot, claiming he was lost and his navigation equipment was malfunctioning. Below is a transcript of the recorded communications:
Quote:
 
    Idiotic radar outpost: We get signal.
    Idiotic fighter command: What!
    Idiotic radar outpost: Main screen turn on.
    Idiotic fighter command: How are you gentlemen!!
    NDR aircraft: Hello? This is NDR flight 214, we are lost and our instruments are going crazy, can you direct us to Alpha Base?
    Idiotic fighter command: All your base are belong to us.
    Idiotic fighter command: You are on the way to destruction.
    NDR aircraft: What you say!!
    Idiotic fighter command: You have no chance to survive make your time.
    Idiotic fighter command: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
    NDR aircraft: Someone set us up the bomb!
    Idiotic fighter pilot: Captain!!
    Idiotic fighter command: Take off every 'ZIG'!!
    Idiotic fighter pilot: You know what you doing.
    Idiotic fighter command: Move 'ZIG'.
    Idiotic fighter pilot: For great justice.
    [NDR aircraft disappears from radar]
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

(sound only - with a stock image of Governor-General Reese Tumbledryer and Professor Lucy Sideboard-Tumbledryer arm in arm)

Woohooo! Heeeellloooo and welcome to Lazarastra workers and citizens of Rhanukhan! This is roving reporter Sophie Futon for Rhanukhani State News Network - reporting live, from the new colony. Video is still down but be assured, we will be back to full operational status soon!

Well, hasn't today been full of surprises? The biggest being Governor-General Reese Tumbledryer's oh-so romantic decision to share his position of authority equally with his beautiful new bride, Lucy! So it looks like our brave boys in the military can look forward to taking their orders form a much prettier face than usual from now on! hehe - only kidding General - you don't need me to tell you you're the handsomest chap in Lazarastra - all the ladies are jealous of Professor Lucy these days!

On a more serious note the military activity in the Sea of Regret has been increasing over the last day or so. There was even an incident on our southern border with New Drakensberg Range's Alpha Outpost but luckily it all proved to just be a little high spirits on the part of one of their patrols and the matter was swiftly settled! We love our neighbours, naturally, and as a gesture of goodwill, Governor-General Tumbledryer and his lovely new wife have announced a grand ball to be held here in our provincial capital! Invites have already been sent to all of New Drakensberg Range's leading politicians and celebrities who I'm sure can't wait to come and sample our fine Lazarastran hospitality. Look forward to my special report on the evening itself!

Stay tuned people - as long as it doesn't interfere with your productivity!!! This is Sophie Futon, signing off!

Sophie Futon, Rhanukhani State News Network (Lazarastra - 01:33, 22/01/08)
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rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Concerns Raised Over "Banana" Material

Following several reports of unusual symptoms amongst consumers of the popular Wharadhan Banana Milkshakes, scientists in the governments primary laboratories in Kanghari have issued a warning to cease production and recall any product currently out in society.

Produced from the yellow foam still washing up on our northern shores following the impact of a fragment of the famous "Banana" in the Prism Gulf last month, the milkshakes have been found to contain a number of complex organic compounds which can influence the genetic structure of anybody ingesting them. Effects are limited with sufferers complaining of a toughened yellowy skin condition and occasional evidence of increased rage but concerns have been raised over the cumulative impact of long term exposure. A team has also been dispatched to the new colony of Lazarastra where the overwhelming prevalence of "Banana" based material could be putting the population at risk. Thankfully there have been no reports of any incidents there. Indeed, everything is going extremely well for our latest province and I'm sure we all look forward to hearing Sophie Futon's next report!

Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Kanghari - 01:47, 22/01/08)
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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disposablepuppetland,21 Jan 2008
11:03 PM
Our radar logs confirm that the NDR aircraft did stray into Idiotic airspace, but only by 1.5km. We also picked up repeated warnings from Idiocracy, ordering the aircraft to leave the area. We also picked up responses from the pilot, claiming he was lost and his navigation equipment was malfunctioning. Below is a transcript of the recorded communications:
Quote:
 
    Idiotic radar outpost: We get signal.
    Idiotic fighter command: What!
    Idiotic radar outpost: Main screen turn on.
    Idiotic fighter command: How are you gentlemen!!
    NDR aircraft: Hello? This is NDR flight 214, we are lost and our instruments are going crazy, can you direct us to Alpha Base?
    Idiotic fighter command: All your base are belong to us.
    Idiotic fighter command: You are on the way to destruction.
    NDR aircraft: What you say!!
    Idiotic fighter command: You have no chance to survive make your time.
    Idiotic fighter command: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
    NDR aircraft: Someone set us up the bomb!
    Idiotic fighter pilot: Captain!!
    Idiotic fighter command: Take off every 'ZIG'!!
    Idiotic fighter pilot: You know what you doing.
    Idiotic fighter command: Move 'ZIG'.
    Idiotic fighter pilot: For great justice.
    [NDR aircraft disappears from radar]

DPL's evidence should be proof enough to the international community that UI destroyed our aircraft without justification. The government of NDR apologises for the intrusion of our aircraft into your airspace, but the aircraft flew in by accident and was asking for help. NDR reiterates its demand for a formal apology to be issued by the UI government, and that £5 million be paid in reparations.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Lord
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rhanukhan,22 Jan 2008
01:34 AM
[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

(sound only - with a stock image of Governor-General Reese Tumbledryer and Professor Lucy Sideboard-Tumbledryer arm in arm)

Woohooo! Heeeellloooo and welcome to Lazarastra workers and citizens of Rhanukhan! This is roving reporter Sophie Futon for Rhanukhani State News Network - reporting live, from the new colony. Video is still down but be assured, we will be back to full operational status soon!

Well, hasn't today been full of surprises? The biggest being Governor-General Reese Tumbledryer's oh-so romantic decision to share his position of authority equally with his beautiful new bride, Lucy! So it looks like our brave boys in the military can look forward to taking their orders form a much prettier face than usual from now on! hehe - only kidding General - you don't need me to tell you you're the handsomest chap in Lazarastra - all the ladies are jealous of Professor Lucy these days!

On a more serious note the military activity in the Sea of Regret has been increasing over the last day or so. There was even an incident on our southern border with New Drakensberg Range's Alpha Outpost but luckily it all proved to just be a little high spirits on the part of one of their patrols and the matter was swiftly settled! We love our neighbours, naturally, and as a gesture of goodwill, Governor-General Tumbledryer and his lovely new wife have announced a grand ball to be held here in our provincial capital! Invites have already been sent to all of New Drakensberg Range's leading politicians and celebrities who I'm sure can't wait to come and sample our fine Lazarastran hospitality. Look forward to my special report on the evening itself!

Stay tuned people - as long as it doesn't interfere with your productivity!!! This is Sophie Futon, signing off!

Sophie Futon, Rhanukhani State News Network (Lazarastra - 01:33, 22/01/08)

Since new information has come to light, and considering the evidence which has been mounting, New Drakensberg Range hereby declares that the FBE is now quarantined. No ships, under any circumstances, will be allowed to dock at the coastline of the FBE, nor will any aircraft be allowed to land on the FBE. The government of NDR requests that any nation which is bordering the mainland of the FBE enact its own measures to prevent the movement of people into and out of the mainland.
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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[Report from Billian Pnobe: Administrator of the drilling platform Ebon Sunday]

Divers have finished their search of the Plumbum Sky Hook wreak and returned with their report. The ship was hit by several small explosive rounds, most probably portable rocket launchers fired from the shore, and also riddled by automatic fire. 28 bodies were discovered in or around the ship. A further 5 bodies were found on the shore. They had been shot.
Two bodies have not yet been found. The captain, Johning Forthmagnet and engineer Patrink Robloads.

At the current time the perpetrators of this attack are unknown, but we are carrying out ballistic analysis of the machine gun rounds found inside the wreak.
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Glerica
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Glerican B-Base 4 Announcement

DPL
 
It seems likely the rest of the crew could have swum for shore, so a rescue party will head inland immediately to search for them. The Plumbum Sky Hook had a crew of 35. Their families are being contacted.


We would like to remind the DPL government that the area known as Ego Island is Glerican land. We have announced before that any attempt to land on, or enter the airspace of the island will be considered an act of war. We would reccomend that the search parties do not land on the island, as they will be detained and may face procecusion.

As from this moment Ego island is not accepting ships, aircraft or people onto their shores. After a recent discovery (which will be announced at a later date) a virus is very much alive and present in the majortiy of Lazarastran people. Do not approach them. We have also lost radio contact with one of our aircraft carriers, the GMS Liberation. Any information of its whereabouts would be appreciated.

Commander Chris Hardwater
3rd Officer of the Glerican Land Forces
Head Commander of Operation Banana Ego
Awarded the Fanderk Cross 1998
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Glerica
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Captain's Log Transmitted 22/01/08 16:00
Captain Kelli Irving - GMS Liberation

We were six hours away from Alpha Outpost, 3 aircraft down and helicopters on low fuel. Then this yellow fog just decended on us. Its compl.. ... ...srupted our instruments, we've no idea w... ... ...are. We stormed ahead full speed for a few hours but after it didn't shift, I ordered all stop.

We've found the cause of this.... ... ... ... heard... ... violence... this yello... fog! You must not... ... ... otherwise... ... and deat... contagiou...

NDR Alpha Outpost... repor... ... position... ... try... thr...

[Communication Disrupted]
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disposablepuppetland
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Glerica,22 Jan 2008
04:07 PM
We would like to remind the DPL government that the area known as Ego Island is Glerican land. We have announced before that any attempt to land on, or enter the airspace of the island will be considered an act of war. We would reccomend that the search parties do not land on the island, as they will be detained and may face procecusion.

The government of Disposablepuppetland would like to thank the government of Glerica for their kindness, tolerance and understanding at this difficult time.

We would also like to inform you that our rescue party has already completed its search on Ego Island and has now departed. No further survivors were found.
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Nivogal
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The Government of Nivogal will urge the people of United Idiocracy to ignore the fascist demands of New Drakensburg Range.

Furthermore, we hereby declare that Jilted Atoll and Isle of Tantrum are hereby territories of the People's Republic of Nivogal, and will be deploying at least four fleets and 240,000 People's Marines. Any sign of blockage by our attempts to claim our rightful territories in the name of socialism :wings: will be regarded as a direct act of war by the corrupt capitalist states from the Fruitbowl Alliance and we will act accordingly.

- Statement from the Nivogalese Ministry of Foreign Affairs :ph43r:
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New Drakensberg Range
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Is the government of Nivogal aware that a virulent disease is now spreading across the FBE? If you land troops on any of the territory of the FBE, then it is most likely that your men will become victims of the plague.

Message transmitted by an NDR government member.
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