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| The Great Banana Rush | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,480 Views) | |
| rhanukhan | Jan 28 2008, 11:02 PM Post #121 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office] His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman would like to thank the Nivogalese Armed Forces for their earlier action against the troops of the seccesionists currently holding power in our colony of Lazarastra, however, he would also have me inform you that this is considered a matter of internal security by the Rhanukhani Government and will be settled in due course. We already have the matter in hand and our expeditionary force will swiftly retake the colony and bring these rebels to justice. If Nivogal undertakes any action deemed harmful to the Rhanukhani colonists in the Sea of Regret it will be viewed as an unprovoked act of war. Best regards, Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 28 2008, 11:08 PM Post #122 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] Scientists involved in the Rhanukhani Space program here in Astahni remain concerned by the ongoing silence from the Rhanukhani State Space Station. There has been no communication for well over a month now and fears are rising that the timing of the cutoff - just days after the two intrepid "Bananauts", Charles "Buzz" Mantlepiece and Malcolm "Buzz" Soupspoon, proudly became the first ever Rhanukhani workers to set foot on the "Banana" whilst it was still in orbit - could be more than a mere coincidence. The shuttle, "Dilligence" is preparing to dock with the Space Station later tonight and ascertain the situation on board. Early reports from observations made during approach state that the station appears intact and that power is still functioning. More on this story as it develops. Jonathan Spatula, Rhanukhani State News Network (Astahni - 23:06, 28/01/08) |
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| Nivogal | Jan 28 2008, 11:18 PM Post #123 |
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OOC: How did one of my aircraft get claimed by fog? I thought it only stuck to the airframe, as they can navigate with radar? /OOC :ph43r:
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| rhanukhan | Jan 28 2008, 11:44 PM Post #124 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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OOC: Check through the thread - the fog has claimed several aircraft - I was just reminding people of the danger it represents I'm sure you can afford one fighter. Rhanukhan would have lost several during the invasion today - Dwight simply chose not to mention details in his opening report, focusing on the positive bits
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| Nivogal | Jan 29 2008, 03:50 PM Post #125 |
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-----------------Diplomatic Communique------------------- -------From: Nivogalese Ministry of Foreign Affairs----- -------To: Rhanukani Ministry of Foreign Affairs--------- Dear Mr. Ballustrade, We understand and recognise that Lazarastra is sovereign territory of Rhanukhan and will support any and all attempts to end this rebel uprising. We are willing to provide any means necessary, including troops and equipment, to assist Rhanukhan in this matter. This also includes financial and military aid. Chancellor Fischer supports this. We also have been aware of the attempt by the secessionist rebels to use our territory as a staging point for the invasion. While we will let you deal with them on your own lands, be aware that the Isle of Tantrum and Jilted Atoll are sovereign territory of the People's Republic of Nivogal and will use any means necessary to purge such foreigners from our islands. Our intelligence has confirmed that an amphibious force was on the Isle of Tantrum, which was promptly and swifly dealt with by the Nivogalese People's Navy, where three out of the four fleets station in the area annhilated the secessionist forces on the island. Again, we will not interfere with your operations, but any Lazarastran force that tries to invade or occupy our territory will be dealt with swiftly and harshly. As we share a common goal in this matter, I hope you would consider our proposal to aid you in quashing this uprising. Happy Hunting. Sincerely, /s/Signature/s/ Heinrich Achbelt Minister of Foreign Affairs People's Republic of Nivogal :ph43r: |
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| United Idiocracy | Jan 29 2008, 07:01 PM Post #126 |
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Squire
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Urgent Telegram to Rhanukhani Government From UI We have noted with interest your claims of victory in your operations against Lazarastran forces, however, we are concerned that photic-radar imagery from the IDIOT1 satellite do not support your claims. Indeed, the latest pictures, taken at 17:52 GMT tend to indicate that your forces are being further pushed back by Lazarastran forces. Please advise of your situation immediately. Ron Bacardi UI Foreign Secretary |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 30 2008, 01:41 PM Post #127 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office] His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman would like to thank the Government of United Idiocracy for their concern, however, it is entirely unfounded. We have noted for ourselves that the yellow fog currently covering our colony of Lazarastra as well as other areas of the Sea of Regret can and does disrupt satellite observation. His Resplendence wishes to assure you that Rhanukhani forces have a secure foothold in the colony and are making advances daily. Best regards, Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 30 2008, 01:52 PM Post #128 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] Following yesterday's successful docking with the Rhanukhani State Space Station, the crew of the shuttle, "Dilligence" were able to board and ascertain that everything is fine. It appears that loss of communication was a result of a million-to-one technical failure taking out not only the station's main communications system but also all the back-ups. Scientists involved in the Rhanukhani Space Program here in Astahni state that this is extremely unusual and unlikely to occur again. A second shuttle, "Dedication", will be ferrying up the necessary crew and parts to initiate repairs later this week. In the meantime, the two intrepid "Bananauts", Charles "Buzz" Mantlepiece and Malcolm "Buzz" Soupspoon, will be coming home to Rhanukhan aboard the "Dilligence" when she returns in the next couple of days. We'll bring you more on this story as it happens. Jonathan Spatula, Rhanukhani State News Network (Astahni - 13:53, 30/01/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 31 2008, 12:15 AM Post #129 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Midnight Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is 12 o' clock and I'm Trent Butterknife. Tonight's headlines: Action in Lazarastra: Dwight Alabaster brings us the latest front-line reports from the liberation of the new colony. ArmaTech Shares Skyrocket: Frenzied buying gripped the Stock Exchange today following Rhanukhani ArmaTech's buy-out of RhanuGen - the firm famous for reproducing clones of people's dead pets. Apparently the two firms had been in negotiations since RhanuGen's news of a cloning breakthrough last month announcing their spectacular new ability to grow any animal from single cell to full adult in just four weeks. No-one is sure what the country's leading arms manufacturer wants with the cloning concern but everyone's sure of big things and the smart investors have been getting in at the start. Wendy Collander has the full report later in the program. In other news, the NDR personnel rescued following a devastating attack on two vessels in the Sea of Regret are being returned to their nation today following medical treatment and debriefing by our own fine military. In a connected story, the fugitive journalist, Gabriel Matthews - wanted on espionage charges and believed to have been present during the incident - has been declared missing and is presumed dead. The Rhanukhan National Security Agency is stepping down the search. And finally: Coming Home - the two intrepid "Bananauts", Charles "Buzz" Mantlepiece and Malcolm "Buzz" Soupspoon, the first Rhanukhani workers to set foot on the infamous "Banana" have boarded the shuttle, "Dilligence", within the last half hour and will be making their return journey shortly. Jonathan Spatula will be bringing us live updates from the Stars Reach Space Centre in Astahni throughout the night. All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 31 2008, 08:50 PM Post #130 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[News Flash from Rhanukhani State News Network] Tragedy struck the Rhanukhani Space Program today when the shuttle, "Dilligence", returning from a flight to the Rhanukhani State Space Station, disintegrated over the deserts of western Rhanukhan - just minutes before its scheduled landing at the Stars Reach Space Centre in Astahni. The explosion was clearly visible throughout Harghattoria, Khunares and Loidisuria. Amomgst the crew, the two intrepid "Bananauts", Charles "Buzz" Mantlepiece and Malcolm "Buzz" Soupspoon, the first Rhanukhani workers to set foot on the infamous "Banana". The families of the lost astronauts have all been informed and RSP officials vowed they would find the cause of the disaster but stated also that this setback would not prevent the launch of a second shuttle, "Dedication", carrying essential communications equipment to the Space Station later this week. His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman will be addressing the nation with regards to this tragic event shortly. More on this story as it develops. Jonathan Spatula, Rhanukhani State News Network (Astahni - 20:49, 31/01/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 31 2008, 09:12 PM Post #131 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Royal Lazarastran News Network] Wooh! Helloooo and good evening viewers - this is Sophie Futon, live from Lazarastra! The battle with the Rhanukhani invaders attempting to cross our southern border continues today but our bold military continue to keep the enemy at bay! Woohooh! (Footage of yellow skinned Lazarastran troops firing on Rhanukhani soldiers) In unrelated news, the populations of the new settlements to the south of our capital were evacuated to refugee camps in the north following warnings from top scientists of unexpected imminent geological upheaval in the area. Naturally, Her Beloved Majesty's first concern was for her people and she spared no effort in ensuring the rapid removal and transport of so many citizens. (Image of truckloads of shocked, yellow skinned Lazarastrans thundering down the road.) Her Beloved Majesty, Queen Lucy made a personal and heartfelt address to all those Lazarastran citizens whose lives have been disrupted by the actions of our corrupt former overlords in the east and promised that as long as breath remained in Lazarastran chests then no Rhanukhani invader would stand on our soil. (As usual, a montage of images of yellow skinned Lazarastran soldiers, sailors and airmen in their fine, yellow uniforms proudly displaying their hardware.) All hail her Beloved Majesty! Stay tuned people - this is Sophie Futon, signing off! Sophie Futon, Royal Lazarastran News Network (Lazarastra - 21:11, 31/01/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 31 2008, 09:26 PM Post #132 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] (Image of Dwight Alabaster inside a large sealed tent, holding out the yellow fog. Rhanukhani personnel can be seen in the background being checked for banalite contamination) Good evening viewers back home. I'm here today at the latest camp established in Lazarastra and can proudly announce that our brave boys and girls have already reclaimed the southern settlements in the new colony. The Lazarastran's having given them up with little resistance. Concerns have been raised regarding the fate of those colonists who lived in this region, however, as signs suggest a mass evacuation prior to our arrival. Fears that "Queen Lucy" is planning to employ them as a human shield have yet to be realised but it may only be a matter of time. (Image of Rhanukhani armoured column moving into an empty town, the ever present yellow fog swirling around) (Image switches to one of General Gravyboat with other officers, planning strategy) General Sebastian Gravyboat, leading the campaign, has been delighted with the results so far and confirmed that the liberation is going according to plan. We're expecting to be within sight of the provincial capital sometime in the next couple of days and you can expect full reports of all the action! Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Rhanukhani Expeditionary Force Camp, Lazarastra - 21:25, 31/01/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Jan 31 2008, 09:42 PM Post #133 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Radio transmission intercepted. Source: central Lazarastra. Destination: Untraced] ......vasion is proceeding exac....................edule, your troo..............................ere within the next few days. Yes, Pro..........................ept informed about these thi.............ave you prep..................ecimens for evac? Indeed I have, Mr................amps are filled and we ....................rival of your extraction teams. Excelle...............pect the first convoy to arrive tomor.....................ertain the yellow fog will prov..................dequate cover? ......es, we maintain cont.....................ain body of the clou..................arastra and will be ab..............irect it appropria......... Even al......ay across ASXTC? ......ave my persona......surance, Mr...... Very wel......rofess...................aintain the prete........f thi.........ellion........ill get you out of there befor...........................eclaim the provincial capit...... ...y thanks, Mr....... [Signal lost] |
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| New Drakensberg Range | Feb 3 2008, 03:39 PM Post #134 |
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Lord
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![]() Article published in one of New Drakensberg Range's national newspapers, under the headline 'Special evening edition: Military ejects government At 12:45 today, an unknown number of soldiers stormed the Parliament building in the capital, Englesburgh. At 1:35, Field Marshall Adrian O'Conner addressed a crowd which had been gathering near the Parliament building after the armed forces stated "NDR citizens should come to hear their "new leader speak". The Field Marshall said "The army has decided that it is in NDR's best interests for a military administration to be established. We have looked on with horror at the political developments in NDR, and when we realised that a pacifist government was around the corner, we took action to ensure that the security of our great country is maintained." "The military will run all government affairs until such time as it is clear that a civilian administration will respect the need for a foreign policy that statisfies the needs of the military." Before one reporter was taken away by soldiers, the reporter asked "What are the military's needs?" The Field Marshall replied "The military needs to re-assert its control over the territory of the FBE which NDR has claimed. To achieve that, it is essential that all steps be taken to destroy the Banalite virus. We also wish to punish Nivogal for its breach of the quarantine and the blockade." "We will also uphold the previous government's decision to initiate conscription." At that point, loud boos erupted from the crowd. The Field Marshall walked through the door behind him on the balcony he had been standing on, and was then out of sight. |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 3 2008, 06:18 PM Post #135 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office] His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman would like to welcome the new Government of New Drakensberg Range. His Resplendence wishes for both our nations to continue to uphold the terms of the Fruitbowl Alliance agreed with your predecessors and hopes that you will continue to permit Rhanukhani operations out of the presently unoccupied NDR Alpha Outpost as part of the ongoing liberation of our colony of Lazarastra. We are on the verge of recapturing the provincial capital and arresting the leaders of the insurrection and it would be most inconvenient to have our plans disrupted at this critical time. Naturally, we will withdraw our troops from your territory upon completion of this operation. Best regards, Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 3 2008, 06:38 PM Post #136 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] (Image of Dwight Alabaster inside a large sealed tent, holding out the yellow fog. Rhanukhani personnel can be seen in the background being checked for banalite contamination) Good evening viewers! The liberation of Lazarastra continues apace and our brave boys and girls are now poised to retake the provincial capital. It won't be long now before I'm reporting the successful capture of "Queen Lucy" and her treacherous lackeys! (Image of Rhanukhani troops establishing camp, the ever present yellow fog swirling around, in the distance can be seen the edge of Lazarastra's provincial capital) (Image switches to one of General Gravyboat with other officers, planning strategy) A jubilant General Sebastian Gravyboat, leading the campaign, announced further successes against the secessionist forces on all fronts today, closing his speech with: "We've got them on the run boys!" And have we! In the face of the superior Rhanukhani military, the Lazarastran troops have constantly been on the back foot, making a fighting withdrawal towards the provincial capital and deserts in the north of the colony. Even with the limited air cover available due to ongoing concerns regarding the ever present yellow fog, our brave boys and girls have achieved an exceptional degree of success! Earlier fears that "Queen Lucy" would employ the displaced colonists from the south as a human shield appear to have been unfounded and it has been presumed that these people are currently somewhere in the desert regions north of here. Join me tomorrow for the first reports from within the provincial capital itself - I'm sure "Queen Lucy" will be watching and quaking in fear! Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Rhanukhani Expeditionary Force Camp, Lazarastra - 18:37, 03/02/08) |
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| United Idiocracy | Feb 3 2008, 06:45 PM Post #137 |
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Message from the Government of United Idiocracy We welcome the change of leadership of NDR, and hope that our two Nations, both being lead by our respective military, can work together through this difficult time. We also hope that the NDR government share our grave concern for the military operations currently being carried out in FBE. It is our opinion, which we hope is shared, that the placement of Rhanukhani forces there is a disaster in the making. We now have the potential for a huge armed force to be under the influence of the Banalite virus. UI is convinced the ony solution to this crisis is a concerted airborne campaign conducted from high altitude to destroy all viral vectors on FBE. UI has bomber squadrons on stand-by, but is reluctant to take unilateral action, although we will is required. Gen T.Foolery President, UI |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 3 2008, 06:48 PM Post #138 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Royal Lazarastran News Network] Helloooo and good evening viewers - this is Sophie Futon, live from Lazarastra! woohooh! The Rhanukhani invaders attempting to cross our southern border just don't seem to be getting the message that they're not welcome and conflicts are ongoing today but our bold military continue to keep the enemy at bay! Wooooh! (Footage of yellow skinned Lazarastran troops firing on Rhanukhani soldiers) In order to further improve the effectiveness of our mighty armed forces, however, Her Beloved Majesty has initiated a series of training exercises, simulating a successful invasion of central Lazarastra so don't worry if you begin to hear sounds of rockets and gunfire close by citizens - it's all just an exercise! (Image of quite convincing looking mock Rhanukhani camps forming outside the capital.) Once again, Her Beloved Majesty, Queen Lucy has made an address to all Lazarastran citizens, assuring them that no Rhanukhani invader would ever take back our freedom! (As usual, a montage of images of yellow skinned Lazarastran soldiers, sailors and airmen in their fine, yellow uniforms proudly displaying their hardware.) All hail her Beloved Majesty! Stay tuned people - this is Sophie Futon, signing off! Sophie Futon, Royal Lazarastran News Network (Lazarastra - 18:47, 03/02/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 3 2008, 07:03 PM Post #139 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Radio transmission intercepted. Source: central Lazarastra. Destination: Untraced] ...en are you goin............et me out of here?! Almo...................onvoys are on the..............ack across ASXTC now! Yo.........oops are prac...........ocking dow..............ont door! ...alm down, Pro....................ere is still ti.....................ave my assura...................cessful extraction be...........eral Gravybo.....................en can get to.......... I.........eginning to wond...........ow much I can tru......................nces, Mr................... Perhaps I ....................urrender to the Gene.................pose all your pla......................ow! ...............................e most unwis........................sor, however, you are ri..................ould not do...................all into enemy ha..................ery well - you may expe.........................ction team first thi....................orning - be prepar......... [Signal lost] |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 3 2008, 07:13 PM Post #140 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] Investigations continue into what caused the space shuttle, "Dilligence" to spectacularly explode on it's return journey from the Rhanukhani State Space Station last week. The shuttle disintegrated into thousands of blazing fragments and what one witness, clearly having watched too many sci-fi films, described as an "escape pod" over western Rhanukhan. Pieces of the wreckage are still being retrieved by secretive military and government teams although many parts will probably never be found due to the harsh desert conditions of that part of our nation. A second shuttle, "Dedication", successfully ferried up necessary crew and parts to initiate repairs to the station's communications system today. In the meantime, it has been announced that the two intrepid "Bananauts", Charles "Buzz" Mantlepiece and Malcolm "Buzz" Soupspoon, along with the rest of the crew of the ill-fated shuttle will be honoured with a permanent memorial here at Stars Reach Space Centre in Asthani. We'll bring you more on this story as it happens. Jonathan Spatula, Rhanukhani State News Network (Astahni - 19:12, 03/02/08) |
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| United Idiocracy | Feb 3 2008, 07:18 PM Post #141 |
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[Article from The Idiocracy Times]![]() UI customs returning from seizure UI customs, operating with UI Navy, today intercepted a shipment from Kermorvan Liquid Fruit of Musa Mutania Juice, a substance which has been banned throughtout England due to worries of contamination with the Banalite virus. Over 20,000 gallons of juice was uncovered, disguised as lemonade. It is thought that the shipment, and others like it currently steaming to other nations, are underway with the full knowledge of the Government of DPL. Currently there has been no official word from our government, although sources within the Ministry of Defence have said a "robust response" is being planned. |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 3 2008, 07:26 PM Post #142 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Evening Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is seven thirty and I'm Trent Butterknife. Tonight's headlines: Continued Success in Lazarastra: Dwight Alabaster brings us the latest front-line reports from the liberation of the new colony. RhanuGen Workers Crisis: In a move that's had workers reeling and the unions up in arms, Rhanukhani ArmaTech laid off almost all of RhanuGen's existing staff following it's spectacular buy-out of the firm last week. RhanuGen, famous for reproducing clones of people's dead pets, had been in negotiations since their news of a cloning breakthrough last month announcing their spectacular new ability to grow any animal from single cell to full adult in just four weeks. No-one is sure what the country's leading arms manufacturer wants with the cloning concern but it clearly wasn't the staff as they have now begun moving in their own people. Wendy Collander interviews Constantine Malachite, chairman of Rhanukhani ArmaTech, later in the program. And finally: Yellow Fog - just what is it? We have speculation and early test results from leading scientists following today's earlier announcement by meteorologists that the peculiar phenomenon from the Sea of Regret appears to be spreading. There have been several reports over the last couple of days that it has now been appearing in the deserts of southern ASXTC. What does this mean for you if you live in our western provinces adjoining that nation? All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| United Idiocracy | Feb 3 2008, 07:35 PM Post #143 |
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Squire
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Press Conference At UI Ministry Of Defence, given by Defence Secretary Ron Bacardi Following the seizure of Musa Mutania Juice by UI customs, and the confirmation that several other shipments were already underway, the Government of UI felt that action had to be taken against this blatent will of the international community, and disregard for the national laws of sovereign states. ![]() This picture shows a SILBOMB missile which was fired this afternoon from the UIS (United Idiocracy Submarine) LeadBalloon. Its target was the Kermorvan Liquid Fruit factory in DPL. The following picture was taken by a UIAF Long range scout plane, 2 hours later: ![]() This confirms that the missile both hit its target and destroyed this threat to England. We hope this sends the message to the DPL government that it needs to control its industry and act on the will of the international community. I would like to add our thanks to the Glerica for their research which showed the dangerous nature of the KLF products. |
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| Glerica | Feb 3 2008, 08:11 PM Post #144 |
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Oooh thanks very much! Dr. H Monkeyman Head Researcher at B-Base 4 |
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| disposablepuppetland | Feb 3 2008, 11:38 PM Post #145 |
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Duke
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[Statement from General Vershner, President of Disposablepuppetland, to the people of DPL, and all nations of England] As many of you may be aware, the nation of United Idiocracy today launched a cruise missile attack against a medical production facility, 20 km south of Raspberry Fields. An adjoining hospital was also destroyed in the blast, and fire has spread to nearby factories and houses. The current death toll is unknown as fire-crews struggle to contain the blaze, but 350 people were employed by the facility and at least 2500 patients and staff were known to have been in the hospital. It is believed the Idiotic military were attempting to destroy the Kermorvan Liquid Fruit refinery, based in northern West-Side, but their military intelligence appears to have been wildly inaccurate. Disposablepuppetland condemns this unprovoked and callous attack. No warning was provided and no attempt at negotiation was made. The target was a civilian facility that presented no threat to Idiocracy. We have now implemented complete economic and trade sanctions against United Idiocracy, and encourage all other nations in England to do the same. We cannot allow this barbaric act to go unpunished. We await an apology and an offer of compensation from United Idiocracy. |
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| disposablepuppetland | Feb 4 2008, 12:16 AM Post #146 |
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Duke
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[Article in The Conformist - 3rd Feb 2008] MARKETS IN DISARRAY - NEW IDIOT TUMBLES The National Bank of Disposablepuppetland plunged the currency markets into chaos today by dumping its entire stock of 880 billion New Idiots. Kermorvan Profitable Holdings immediately followed suit, and numerous other companies throughout DPL and West-Side also began selling. The government of UI initially tried to counter this run, but did not have the economic muscle to stabilise events and general disorder and panic spread as multinational companies moved their holding away from the New Idiot. As trading closed this evening, the New Idiot was down 45% against the Runt, and showing similar losses against all other currencies. Analysts now fear a widespread recession in United Idiocracy. |
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| Glerica | Feb 4 2008, 12:34 AM Post #147 |
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[Article in Zeitgeist!] IDIOT SPARK TO HIT THE BARREL? The government of United Idiocracy was under fire yesterday from political leaders after a attack inteded for the Kermorvan Liquid Fruit factory in DPL actually struck a medicinal production plant and ajoining hospital, killing at least over 500 staff and civilians. Although no official responce has come from the DPL government, many business and financial leaders (including many in Glerica) have dropped their New Idiot stock, which could possibly cause a recession in United Idiocracy. Glerican leaders fear that this attack could cause a full out war in the FBE area, due to the high political tensions caused by events like NDR's attack on a Glerican ship to verious terrorist attacks on other nations in the area. These two nations are also not part of the Fruitbowl alliance, which could mean that a war between these two nations would spread after other nations would "choose" a side. The Glerican government has already offered aid to DPL, as well as it's shock to this attack. |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 4 2008, 12:56 AM Post #148 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network: His Resplendence, The Supreme Chairman of Rhanukhan, Horatio J. Prism addresses the nation.] Citizens and workers of Rhanukhan, these are troubled times we live in. After many threats to the nations of England, the barabaric terrorist state of United Idiocracy has finally backed it's hateful words with action. It saddens me to inform you that earlier this evening the UI military launched a completely unprovoked missile attack against an unsuspecting medical production facility and hospital in the nation of Disposablepuppetland. The amoral cowards of the UI have sunk to a new low today and their inexcusable actions cannot go unpunished. As they have previously threatened Rhanukhani interests and now proven that they are willing to stoop to such levels as this, I have severed all diplomatic ties with these terrorists and recalled our ambassadors. In addition to this all Rhanukhani business concerns have ceased trade with their UI counterparts and UI imports are being turned back. A complete trade and economic embargo is now in effect and will remain so indefinitely. We also received disturbing reports that our colony of Lazarastra, where so many hard working Rhanukhani colonists - members of your own families - are building a new life and where our brave military men and women - your sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers - are engaged in a liberation operation against the secessionists currently holding power, is also on the UI terrorists' "hit list". I send this warning - no, this promise to the craven leaders of United Idiocracy: Rhanukhan will not stand idly by and permit your despicable behaviour to continue. Any further threats against Lazarastra or any Rhanukhani interests will be met with an appropriately forceful response. You will find there are far worse things than losing trade with this great nation's many upstanding businesses! I thank you, my people - you may return to your labour. |
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| disposablepuppetland | Feb 4 2008, 01:43 PM Post #149 |
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Duke
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[Dune Carolee, reporting live from the ruined facility - Channel Zero, Newz0r] [Picture an attractive, smartly dressed newsreader with too much make-up, smiling at the camera, while grubby rescue workers carry bodies on stretchers in the background] Dune Carolee reporting live from Elderbury, 20km south of Raspberry Fields, where yesterday's missile strike by United Idiocracy destroyed the Elderbury Medical Research Facility and St. Cammy's Hospital. Fire fighters working through the night finally extinguished the blaze in the early hours of the morning. Now rescuers have begun searching for survivors and removing the bodies of the dead. So far the death-toll stands at 1943, most of whom perished inside the hospital. The medical facility itself is still being searched as we speak. Survivors are being transferred to St. Dhalsim's hospital in central Raspberry Fields. Elderbury Medical Research Facility was run by Kermorvan Industrial-Medical and was one of the sites conducting research into the Banalite virus. Dr. Pametra Timmering, one of the leading authorities on the virus, is known to be among the casualties. Her death is a great loss to the medical community. Investigators will try and piece together what, if anything, remains of her work. This is Dune Carolee, Zero News0r. |
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| rhanukhan | Feb 4 2008, 01:47 PM Post #150 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Radio transmission intercepted. Source: mobile, somewhere in Lazarastra. Destination: Untraced] Thi................raction Team Alp.........ickup was successful and undet............re returning to Rha.................ver. [Signal lost] |
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/OOC :ph43r:
I'm sure you can afford one fighter. Rhanukhan would have lost several during the invasion today - Dwight simply chose not to mention details in his opening report, focusing on the positive bits







2:14 PM Jul 11