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The Great Banana Rush
Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,478 Views)
rhanukhan
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Hello and good evening viewers! Welcome to the provincial capital of Lazarastra! The big news today is that the colony is getting bigger! Both in terms of population and land coverage.

Aerocarriers have been bringing in units of the new GBI-1 super soldiers for the last couple of days and now every base in the area has been reinforced with it's own detachment of golden guardians! Reaction from the common soldiery has been mixed with some believing their days of usefulness are numbered whilst others are pleased to have such potent allies in our ongoing struggle against the enemies of freedom!

As for my earlier comment about land area - Governor General Gravyboat has annexed the territory formerly in the hands of New Drakensberg Range's Alpha Outpost as a result of that nations apparent apathy towards the region and also for our own security. I'm sure you will have all heard the news regarding NDR's support of the UI terrorists reported today. Occupation of the land was a simple matter as we still retain a presence there from our initial landings prior to the liberation. Our brave armed forces supported by their new GBI-1s are already taking up residence and new colonists will be arriving from Rhanukhan in the coming days.

Expect full reports of any exciting developments here in the reclaimed colony!

Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Lazarastra - 22:32, 13/02/08)
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New Drakensberg Range
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Statement made by the NDR government to the government of Rhanukhan

The territory in question is still considered to be territory belonging to NDR, regardless of the fact that the Alpha Outpost has been destroyed.

Unless Rhanukhan agrees to abandon its claim to the territory, and remove its forces from the area, New Drakensberg Range will fight this occupation of NDR territory.
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rhanukhan
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office to New Drakensberg Range]

His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman would like to inform our friends in the Fruitbowl Alliance that he is well aware of the terms of the treaty and did not make his threat lightly. He is greatly disappointed, however, that an apparent ally has chosen to side with a nation which has not only openly threatened military action against us in the recent past but has actively pursued a campaign of terror against DPL. His Resplendence can thus only presume that Rhanukhan is also viewed as a legitimate target by the terrorists of UI and has already put economic sanctions in place to limit the threat posed by that nation. NDR's aid convoy not only undermines our efforts to protect ourselves but endangers all freedom loving nations in England. His Resplendence is surprised and discomforted that NDR's leadership was unable to recognise UI's sudden u-turn on the downed aircraft issue as the transparent attempt to curry favour that it clearly was.

His Resplendence also expects that the leadership of NDR will wish to discuss our recent annexation of the former Alpha Outpost as a matter of Rhanukhani security. He extends his invitation to negotiate appropriate reparations for your loss but has no intention to withdraw Rhanukhani personnel from the region unless he can be absolutely certain you are not aiding the enemies of freedom.

Best regards,

Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister
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disposablepuppetland
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[Announcement from Clarrents Vishni, DPL Foreign Minister]

The government of Disposablepuppetland welcomes the opportunity to enter into diplomatic talks with the nation of Gerica. I have assembled a team of diplomats, and we propose the Great Eastern Hotel in The Civil HQ as a suitable venue for the talks.
As our contract with the Nivogal Navy has not yet been finalised, we have employed a private firm to ensure our safe passage to the conference. They are Korpe Security, a subsidiary of Korpe Corp., from The 0wnership of Self-Emptying Dog.
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Glerica
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[Pirate transmission - Somewhere in Alpha Outpost]

Its Captain Irving here again, just to say they're back! I think they're infected, but they seem more... organised... I don't think they know we are hear and until I know what they're doing I plan to keep it that way so I'm not giving my location incase they get this...

If I don'y get back to Glerica please tell my family I'm thinking of them and love them so much, and....

[Communication Disrupted]
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Glerica
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[Announcement from Rodrez Rodgers, Foreign Affairs Officer for Glerica]

The Government of Glerica would like to thank DPL for their quick reply and action considering our proposals for an alliance. A team of diplomats (lead by one of our most senior diplomatic officers, Jennifer McAde) has been dispatched to the confirmed location.

Royal Officer R. Rodgers,
Head of Foreign Affiars Office
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disposablepuppetland
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[Announcement from General Vershner, president of DPL]

We can confirm that a bulk freighter, The Coleopteras was sunk yesterday by an NDR cruiser. She was on course for Othimskad with a cargo of astro-turf when the attack took place. Currently the status of crew and cargo are unknown, presumed lost.

We accept the government of NDR's apology and offer of reparations, as this attack appears to have been undertaken by a rogue ship acting alone.
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disposablepuppetland
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[Article in The Conformist - 13th Feb 2008]

KGB ANNOUNCE RECORD PROFITS!

Kermorvan Giant Boats (KGB), a subsidiary of Kermorvan Profitable Holdings, announced record profits today, after a slew of new orders. The company, based in Port Rhombus, has received 11 new orders from commercial shipping companies this month, mostly for large container ships. Prices for the larger vessels start at around 100 million Runts ($174m), and KGB expect further orders later this month as the Banana Crisis continues.
Shares have been rising steadily throughout February as increasing numbers of investors jump on-board.
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United Idiocracy
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Press Conference from UI Presidential Palace, given by Presidential Spokesperson, Gillian Dummie

Ladies and General of the press, I can confirm that the promised aid from NDR has arrived in United Idiocracy.

Posted Image

Here we see a NDR oil tanker docked at our main refinery in Western Idiocracy. Already this is starting to filter through to the pumps, and we envisage full capacity within 2 days. In addition to the fuel, we have also recieved food aid.

Posted Image

The UI army has been involved in distributing these emergency supplies throughout the country, but again, we expect things to be getting back to normal within a few days. Although this is the first official notification of the arrival of aid, obviously word has spread, as we can see from this picture:

Posted Image

This was taken 20 minutes ago outside the NDR embassy in Idiocraton. It is clear that the general public share our gratitude towards NDR, and are eager to show their thanks as well.

Our attention has now been re-focused on those nations intent on spreading the Banalite virus around the region, and publically say to nations such as Glerica, Forthampton, Othimskad and ASXTC, we need to work together to stop those who are endangering so much BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!
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New Drakensberg Range
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New Drakensberg Range,13 Feb 2008
03:16 PM
The captain takes the headphones, and listens:

many injured.  What is left of the crew is proceeding to lifeboats.  There is a fuel leak near a fire that has erupted near the bow.  We need assistance.  Repeat, this is the DPL cargo ship Enlightening.  We have been attacked by an NDR warship.  Many injured...

Statement by an NDR naval military spokesman

The transmission was sent by the DPL cargo ship Enlightening. One of our ships, by investigating a wreck at the position that the transmission was sent from, has confirmed that Enlightening was the one that was sunk by Archlandingal. The DPL cargo ship Enlightening, due from an investigations of objects floating on the surface of the ocean, was carrying Banalite-infected products.

We have not been able to find any survivors, although we are searching for lifeboats in the nearby area.

The NDR Navy is not aware of any other confrontation between its ships and DPL ships.

Statement made by an NDR government spokesman

The NDR government has agreed to give 20 million dollars to DPL, in response to the sinking of the Enlightening. We hope that DPL will agree to this.

We demand 85 million dollars from Rhanukhan. We also demand that Rhanukhan sign a trade agreement with NDR which guarantees that it will supply our country with all the necessities of life (oil, food e.t.c), and that it makes a guarantee not to participate in the blockade against NDR. These demands are responses to Rhanukhan's annexation of our territory in the FBE. If these demands are met, then NDR will give up its claim to the territory in the FBE once occupied by NDR.

We are also pleased that the supply convoy has supplied UI with essential goods. We intend to carry on trading the necessities of life with UI. Any intervention with NDR ships will be met with force.
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United Idiocracy
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New Drakensberg Range,14 Feb 2008
06:43 PM
New Drakensberg Range,13 Feb 2008
03:16 PM

The transmission was sent by the DPL cargo ship Enlightening. One of our ships, by investigating a wreck at the position that the transmission was sent from, has confirmed that Enlightening was the one that was sunk by Archlandingal. The DPL cargo ship Enlightening, due from an investigations of objects floating on the surface of the ocean, was carrying Banalite-infected products.Statement made by an NDR government spokesman

The NDR government has agreed to give 20 million dollars to DPL, in response to the sinking of the Enlightening. We hope that DPL will agree to this.

Statement From UI Government

While we respect the sovereignty of the NDR government, and its right to enter into negotiations with whomever it sees fit, the UI Government would like to point out that, in our opinion, the discovery of Banalite contaminated products on the cargo ship, fully legitimises the attack on the vessel, whether or not it received prior approval. Obviously we would have prefered to have seen the crew taken off prior to sinking, but the necessity of preventing the spread of Banalite. Therefore we believe the payment of reparations is ill-advised.
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disposablepuppetland
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New Drakensberg Range,14 Feb 2008
06:43 PM
New Drakensberg Range,13 Feb 2008
03:16 PM
The captain takes the headphones, and listens:

many injured.  What is left of the crew is proceeding to lifeboats.  There is a fuel leak near a fire that has erupted near the bow.  We need assistance.  Repeat, this is the DPL cargo ship Enlightening.  We have been attacked by an NDR warship.  Many injured...

Statement by an NDR naval military spokesman

The transmission was sent by the DPL cargo ship Enlightening. One of our ships, by investigating a wreck at the position that the transmission was sent from, has confirmed that Enlightening was the one that was sunk by Archlandingal. The DPL cargo ship Enlightening, due from an investigations of objects floating on the surface of the ocean, was carrying Banalite-infected products.

We have not been able to find any survivors, although we are searching for lifeboats in the nearby area.

The NDR Navy is not aware of any other confrontation between its ships and DPL ships.

Statement made by an NDR government spokesman

The NDR government has agreed to give 20 million dollars to DPL, in response to the sinking of the Enlightening. We hope that DPL will agree to this.
...

[Statement from Kurt Jinson, Deputy Foreign Minister]

There seems to be some mistake. We have no record of a ship called Enlightening. As we stated yesterday, our cargo ship The Coleopteras, was sunk en-route to Othimskad. This ship was a bulk-carrier, transporting astro-turf. It would not have been a suitable vessel for transporting banana-derived liquids and its route did not approach the FBE at any point, so Banalite infection seems extremely unlikely. Our studies have shown that the virus is unable to survive on inorganic substances (such as astro-turf), and in fact this finding was vital in isolating the virus and ensuring our banana-derived produce is uncontaminated.

Until this confusion is resolved, we cannot accept any reparation for the sinking of The Coleopteras.

Nor do we accept any allegation of transporting Banalite infected produce.
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disposablepuppetland
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[Advertisement in Janet's Military Fetish Magazine - Issue 485, 14th Feb 2008]

Looking for offshore bombardment? Look no further!
Kermorvan Energy Weapons & Lasers (KEWL) announce TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE on all ship-mount lasers including our latest 160 kilowatt 'Burninator'. That's right! Fry twice the number of enemy shipping but make just one payment. We can also offer 0%APR and free insurance for your first year. Just pop into any of our Weapon Supermarkets and order yours today!
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Glerica
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Announcement from Glerican B-Base 4

To the international community:

As many of you are aware, the Glerican Royal Navy fleet roughly contains 130 commisioned seafaring vehicles (not counting the auxiliary forces), and of these 130 vehicles, 35 belong to the Discoverer Class Science Vessels, which are all science or exploration ships, one of the most notable being the recently sunk GRS Liberation.

All of the Discoverer Class vessels have secured samples of either crude Banalite-infected products, Banalite Infected personel, or secured samples of the yellow fog in their on-board laboratories. Please be assured that these ships abide to the strictest security measures, and all of the samples, no matter how small are secured in re-enfored tri-plastic capsuals. Also, in respect to other nations in the area, these ships will not come into 5 miles of coastline except at authorised Glerican ports and will not board other ships.

However, if these ships are attacked without warning or reason (which seems to be the fate of alot of things in this area) there will be severe consequences.

Commander Chris Hardwater
3rd Officer of the Glerican Land Forces
Head Commander of Operation Banana Ego
Awarded the Fanderk Cross 1998
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rhanukhan
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office to New Drakensberg Range]

His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman is currently considering your requests, however, he is of the opinion that those who aid and support the enemies of freedom are no better than the terrorists themselves. Unless you can offer concrete assurances that you will uphold your duties as our ally and immediately cease supplying the known enemy state of United Idiocracy then there can be no negotiation. In order to maintain security for our colony of Lazarastra and stability in the Sea of Regret we will continue to occupy the southern mainland region of the FBE for the foreseeable future.

Best regards,

Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister
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rhanukhan
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Evening Bulletin]

Good evening viewers. The time is eleven thirty and I'm Trent Butterknife. Tonight's main headlines:

Storm in a Fruitbowl: As tensions rise between Rhanukhan and our misguided ally, New Drakensberg Range, more troops are sent into Lazarastra. A spokesman for the government could confirm that negotiations had opened up between ourselves and the NDR but would not divulge any details at this stage - we'll keep you updated of any new developments in this story.

Lazarastran Phantom Mystery: Dwight Alabaster brings us another report from our recently reclaimed colony.

Shuttle Disaster Latest: Early reports from the ongoing investigation into what caused the space shuttle, "Dilligence" to explode last month reveal that investigators are baffled. Results are still inconclusive and a range of theories are being thrown about. Jonathan Spatula brings us his story from Stars Reach Space Centre in Astahni later in the programme.

And finally: A rare breed of Burrowing Octopus, thought to have been extinct for the last century has been rediscovered, alive and well in the Skarfan jungle. Although only a small family has been observed so far, this lends hope for a recovery of all endangered breeds of wild Burrowing Octopi.

All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break...
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rhanukhan
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Hello and good evening viewers! Welcome to the ruins of the former Alpha Outpost! As you can see...

(camera pans across scene of devastation, Rhanukhani soldiers and GBI-1s can be observed establishing a new camp)

...this place took quite a pasting when it was hit last month!

But mysteriously there may still be life here. A patrol earlier today reported seeing movement amongst the ruins with at least one soldier convinced that he'd seen a person, however, further investigation has failed to turn up any evidence of survivors in the area. Are hidden eyes watching us from the cracks? Only time will tell, it seems.

Other news today has been the arrival of the first batches of new colonists, selected by lottery once again, from Rhanukhan alongside further military reinforcement in the form of additional infantry and mechanised units and the happy return of proper air cover following the disappearance of the yellow fog from the Lazarastran mainland.

I'll be here in the reclaimed colony with more news tomorrow, for now - back to Trent in the studio!

Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Former Alpha Outpost, Lazarastra - 23:47, 14/02/08)
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New Drakensberg Range
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rhanukhan,13 Feb 2008
10:46 PM
He extends his invitation to negotiate appropriate reparations for your loss but has no intention to withdraw Rhanukhani personnel from the region unless he can be absolutely certain you are not aiding the enemies of freedom.

Statement issued by the NDR Foreign Ministry to Rhanukhan

Your country stated that it would pay reparations in exchange for your annexation of our territory in the FBE, yet now you seem to have U-turned. You never stated that the withdrawal of aid for UI was a condition for reparations.

Your country committed a great crime against NDR by annexing our territory. NDR, though, was willing to allow this is exchange for a trade agreement and reparations. Now you will not grant us that unless NDR makes further concessions. You keep pushing us, and pushing us.

Unless the government of Rhanukhan agrees to pay reparations, and to sign a trade agreement, without the need for NDR to withdraw its support for UI, NDR will launch a military offensive to re-capture our territory.
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New Drakensberg Range
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Statement issued by the NDR Navy

Due to the fact that the ship that was sunk by our rogue warship does not apparently belong to DPL, we will not accept the blame for the sinking of the DPL cargo ship The Coleopteras. We withdraw an apology to DPL that may have been issued, and we withdraw our offer of reparations.
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rhanukhan
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office to New Drakensberg Range]

rhanukhan,13 Feb 2008
10:46 PM
He extends his invitation to negotiate appropriate reparations for your loss but has no intention to withdraw Rhanukhani personnel from the region unless he can be absolutely certain you are not aiding the enemies of freedom.


As you can see from the earlier telegram you yourself have quoted, His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman made withdrawal of aid for UI a condition for reparations from the outset. There has been no U-turn.

It disappoints His Resplendence that a trusted ally has been mislead by the cowardly terrorists running UI - it would sadden him greatly to have to count NDR amongst those same enemies of freedom.

Best regards,

Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister
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Glerica
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Quote:
 
Memorandum - Top Secret
From: The Royal Office of War & Defence
To: Glerican Elite Special Forces (G.E.S.F) Barracks

Greenlight. Operation to go forward.  Commands to follow on a more secure line.

PS: I think that the operaton name "Operation: Sneak into where Alpha Outpost used to be and rescue the crew of the Liberation without anyone knowing" is too long and needs to be changed.  What do you think?


Quote:
 
Memorandum - Top Secret
From: Glerican Elite Special Forces (G.E.S.F) Barracks
To: The Royal Office of War & Defence

You idiot, this could be intercepted!
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New Drakensberg Range
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OOC: Rhak,
Quote:
 
He extends his invitation to negotiate appropriate reparations for your loss but has no intention to withdraw Rhanukhani personnel from the region unless he can be absolutely certain you are not aiding the enemies of freedom
is quite ambiguous. Anyway, whatever.

IC:

Statement issued by Field Marshall Rotinger, head of the NDR government

Unless the government of Rhanukhan agrees, within 2 days, to pay an amount of reparations without the need for NDR to withdrew its support for UI, the military of NDR will launch an attack. This is the final warning.
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disposablepuppetland
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[Statement from Crate Flours, Police Inspector leading the investigation into the missing ship The Coleopteras]

Our investigation into the disappearance has taken an unexpected twist... A team of divers were sent to examine the wreak of the Enlightening. Upon reaching the remains of the vessel they made note of numerous serial numbers and registration marks on various parts of the ship. These details were later cross-checked against our shipping records and it would appear that The Coleopteras and the Enlightening are one and the same.

One can also surmise from this revelation that, notwithstanding a major clerical error, the ship was probably engaged in some nefarious activity. The divers confirmed that the ship was indeed carrying astro-turf, and found no other cargo, or any trace of Banalite. However, as was noted during our research in the Sea of Regret, the virus cannot live in sea water.

We appeal to the government of NDR to return any captured crew to DPL as soon as possible, so that they can be interrogated on this matter.
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rhanukhan
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office to New Drakensberg Range]

His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman has considered your requests regarding our annexation of the former Alpha Outpost and your own ongoing actions in aid of United Idiocracy. As a gesture of his magnamity and in the interests of continued stability in the Sea of Regret he is willing to pay you the full eighty five million dollars and will not commit our naval forces against your vessels engaged in the aid mission.

His Resplendence would have me remind you, however, that he still considers United Idiocracy to be an enemy of Rhanukhan and, by extension, the Fruitbowl Alliance. Our own economic and trade sanctions against the terrorist state will remain in place and should we suffer any form of attack from the UI it will reflect very poorly upon yourselves. His Resplendence remains disappointed that a trusted ally has been mislead by the enemies of freedom - it is his fondest hope that you will see the error of your decisions.

Best regards,

Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister
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rhanukhan
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Hello there viewers! You join me here at the Rhanukhan Stock Exchange and behind me you can probably see the cleaning crews dealing with the aftermath of today's earlier announcement. In possibly his most audacious move to date Constantine Malachite has used his mighty financial resources to effectively purchase the Rhanukhani Space Program from the government!

In a spree of takeovers the charismatic mogul bought up every Rhanukhani company currently involved in space research and development. He claims, following the government and military's appalling handling of the "Diligence" disaster, that it's time for big business to step up to the plate and show everybody how things should be done!

The various companies and corporations involved are being united into a single enterprise, Rhanukhan OrbiTech, and we can expect to see space missions being flown under the new banner within the coming weeks... including the maiden voyage of the exciting new "Inspiration" class spaceplane, replacing the expensive space shuttles currently in service.

Constantine Malachite - just what will he do next? I don't know, but I do know I'll be there to report on it! And now, back to Trent in the studio...

Wendy Collander, Rhanukhani State News Network (Rhanukhan Stock Exchange - 22:49, 18/02/08)
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rhanukhan
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
[Radio transmission intercepted by Rhanukhani National Security Agency - Internal Division, Source: Asthani province]

...e's suppres.........rything we found... I only ju..........................et this out - it came from Dili..............ck box... their fina........rds... if anyone can get this out th.............ust expose hi...

*static*

".......igence speed-15,280 m.p.........nge to touchdow............ars Reach Space Center Runway - 2,55............iles."

"Flight Bach......."

"Go ahea..."

"..................ust lost 2 separ...........mperature transread................ight side of the vehic..."

"2 temp. readers?......."

"...es, sir.................................do.............f........."

"Diligence, Stars Rea..............see your trans............ssages and we did no........py your last."

"Roger, uh, ..."

*muffled thud*

"What wa...........................E'VE BEEN HI-"

*static*

"Dilige...........ars Reach... comm. check..."

"...ligence, Stars Reach... U.H.F. co...........eck..."

"Diligen.................each... U.H.F. comm. check..."

*static*

"Flight 0, do yo........ve any tracking?"

"...o, sir"

[signal lost]
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United Idiocracy
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M E M O R A N D U M - T O P S E C R E T

From: UI Department of Internal Security

To: General Foolery's Office

Subject: Updated Report on Current Security State of UI

Importance: MOST URGENT

General Synopsis: Situation steadily improving. Aid from NDR fully distributed, and we have resumed normal economic activites in all sectors. Lack of reserves, however, still cause for concern.

Civil Situation: Calm. Population generally content, with few dissident voices, however, South Idiocracy still unsettled. Intelligence indicates possible beginnings of organised resistance to military rule. No further details at present, infiltrations being attempted.

International Situation: Little change. DPL continuing to maintain hospital claims, Rhanukhan and NDR relations have cooled somewhat.

* * * * * E N D O F R E P O R T* * * * *
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New Drakensberg Range
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rhanukhan,16 Feb 2008
03:46 PM
His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman has considered your requests regarding our annexation of the former Alpha Outpost and your own ongoing actions in aid of United Idiocracy. As a gesture of his magnamity and in the interests of continued stability in the Sea of Regret he is willing to pay you the full eighty five million dollars and will not commit our naval forces against your vessels engaged in the aid mission.

From: The desk of Field Marshall Rotinger, head of the NDR military government

To: Allistair Ballustrade, the Rhanukhani Foreign Minister

Subject: Acceptance of the offer

Dear Mr Ballustrade

The NDR government accepts this offer. We would prefer the payment to be made in one go, although we will accept the payment over a period of time, with a certain amount being paid at regular intervals.

I hope that Rhanukhan and NDR can reestablish their strong peaceful relationship within the near future.

Thank you.
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rhanukhan
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin]

Good evening viewers. The time is eleven o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife and before we move onto tonight's headlines may I take this opportunity to welcome our new viewers in countries all across England who are now able to watch RSNN via Rhanukhan OrbiTech's new satellite communications network which went online today!

Tonight's main headlines:

The Calm After the Storm: The recent negotiations between the governments of Rhanukhan and New Drakensberg Range have ended amicably with NDR relinquishing it's claim to southern Lazarastra in return for an undisclosed financial settlement. Political commentators are already taking this as a sign of stronger relations in the future.

Lazarastran Phantom Mystery Solved: Dwight Alabaster brings us his latest report from Lazarastra and it's one which will certainly interest our new Glerican viewers.

Space Bonanza: Wendy Collander reports on the new network of communications satellites placed in orbit by the new "Inspiration" spaceplane and what these innovative developments mean for Rhanukhan OrbiTech - the firm behind our new space age.

And finally: GeneTech's head scientist, Professor Beatrice Wardrobe, made her first public appearance today in her new role as spokesperson for the company which is providing our armed forces with the new GBI-1 super-soldier. She proudly announced that production was running at full capacity and on schedule with a regular supply of GBI-1s emerging from GeneTech factories from next week onwards. Several nations have already expressed an interest in the GBI program and billionaire mogul, Constantine Malachite - owner of GeneTech - is no doubt very pleased to see the offers landing on his desk!

All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break...
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Hello viewers and a special hello to those of you joining me from the many nations of England! You join me here in the newest piece of real estate in Lazarastra. As you can see, our bold armed forces have established a new base on the ruins of NDR's Alpha Outpost - you'd never know the area had recently been the target of a major military strike at all!

(camera pans across the new base, Rhanukhani soldiers and GBI-1s can be seen training in the background)

Now, onto today's big story - you may recall me reporting on occasional unsubstantiated sightings of possible survivors of the attack on Alpha Outpost during the last few days. I can now confirm that these sightings haven't been mere mirages.

Earlier today a sharp-eyed patrolman spotted movement towards the beach and called in backup. The squad encountered a lone woman amongst the rocks near the cliff face - not far from a hidden cave which later yielded up a crude camp, food packages identified as Glerican naval supplies and jerry rigged radio equipment. The woman had clearly been living there for some time and was in a shocked state. Although extremely nervous she began to approach the squad, evidently extremely happy to see our soldiers and babbling about "them" being back. The sergeant in charge asked for her name and at this point things suddenly went awry...

A second squad of troops, supported by a unit GBI-1s appeared on the scene, responding to the earlier call for backup. The woman took one look in their direction, screamed hysterically and collapsed. She was brought back to the camp where she has been unconscious ever since. As yet no-one has been able to identify her though she is reported to be wearing the ragged remains of a Glerican Navy Captain's uniform. The possibility that she is the captain or another crew member of the lost Glerican vessel, GMS Liberation, cannot be ruled out.

Further patrols are now sweeping the area for evidence of further survivors.

Join me tomorrow for more on this story and others, for now - back to Trent in the studio!

Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Southern Lazarastra - 23:47, 14/02/08)
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