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| The Great Banana Rush | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 17 2007, 07:27 PM (8,476 Views) | |
| New Drakensberg Range | Mar 9 2008, 07:45 PM Post #241 |
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Lord
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Secret statement from the NDR government to the Glerican government The fact that you employ splort technology is no secret. If a submarine could be splorted, then so could a person. Documents went missing around the time that our intelligence suggests one of your soldiers came into our record archives. Coincidence? |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 9 2008, 07:52 PM Post #242 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Transmission intercepted by Rhanukhani National Security Agency - Internal Division] Well, Mr........................e've assembled all the inf......................e can. Bo...................sults from Firs..........................nsive information provid.............................ellow. There should be mor...............................nderstand the mecha...................................an's splort technology. Excellent Profe........................u believe you can develop a func..........................sruptor? Certainly - the spl....................................rk on a principle of dest....................inal and creati..........py from mass at the desti..................nt Yellow's information rev........................evel of mass in the captain's ro..........................................ver altered at any sta............................eration. A truly insa..............................rtation - some form of spacial compres...........................e far superior! Theoretically, if w....................ck the splort sig.....................................ould be a simple matter to subv...............................................truction of both ori....................opy. Ingenious! I expect we co........................biTech satellite networ.....................ough - we've alrea....................oying it to elimina...................nient transmissions of the regu...........................o work on it immediat...................ssor, this takes top pri.............................o expense! [Signal lost] |
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| Glerica | Mar 9 2008, 09:06 PM Post #243 |
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Squire
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The Splort Suit Announcing the forefront in modern warfare... the Splort Suit! ![]() By harnessing the recent discoveries in teleportation and compressing them into one easy suit, we're getting new soldiers to the front line... instantly! A secret method was needed to preform this task, and we want to keep it that way with all Splort Soldiers having a Secrecy Pod, causing the suit to incinerate when activated by the Central Splort Command or the Splort Hub sensing no Heart Beat and Pulse. Who has them? Even with a constant connection to CSC, Splorting is incredibly complicated and requires all Splort Soldiers to have at least a degree in a core science, as well as several months intensive training, as well as elite Glerican Army Training. The Army of Glerica curently have one squad with 35 Splort Soldiers, called the Glerican Splort Platoon (GSP). Can I have them? Splort suits and all acess to Splorting technology of any kind is strictly Top Secret under the Glerican Intelligence Agency, so splorting for both military and commercial use is currently forbidden. However, we are sharing this technology with some of our closest allies, including Disposablepuppetland. Also, since we're announcing this now, we can;t have used them before so it is probably a coinsidence. |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 9 2008, 11:41 PM Post #244 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] Hello and good evening viewers! Welcome to the provincial capital of Kharanwhari! That's right people, from today onwards Lazarastra has been divided into three new provinces. The northernmost province retains the name and capital of Lazarastra but here in the south we have Kharanwhari, centered on the new city springing up around the former NDR Alpha Outpost and in between the two is the new province of Bahamghar! Lazarastra itself will remain under the governorship of General Sebastian Gravyboat, hero of the liberation, but the creation of the new provinces has opened up two new governing positions and some big names have already thrown their hats into the ring! We've had interest from Major James Tumbledryer, son of Lazarastra's former governor, General Reese Tumbledryer and, also from a military background, Admiral Roderick Salad-Spinner who retired from the navy last year - he's seen as a solid, dependable choice. Both face stiff competition from not only politicians but also other individuals from the business world and even the entertainment industry! Janet Bookshelf of YoUranium! plc and the ubiquitous Constantine Malachite, clearly looking to expand his empire of interests beyond the Rhanukhani stock exchange, have already put themselves forward but the surprise runner was movie legend and action hero, Brett Showercap - star of "Hunter" and "False Truths" - what he might bring to the table is anybody's guess! The other big news from Kharanwhari was Glerica's use of their new splort technology to retrieve Captain Kelli Irving and return her safely home. RSNN weren't permitted to film the event, unfortunately, but we are informed that the whole operation was carried out without hitch and the good captain is safely back in Glerica tonight! We wish her a swift and full recovery from her ordeals of the last few weeks. Dwight Alabaster, Rhanukhani State News Network (Kharanwhari - 23:41, 09/03/08) |
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| disposablepuppetland | Mar 12 2008, 12:41 PM Post #245 |
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Duke
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[Statement from General Vershner, President of Disposablepuppetland] While we are impressed by the Glerican Navy's swift deployment following the signing of our coastal defence pact, we were expecting submarines to be patrolling our coastal waters and shipping lanes, rather than the streets of our capital. Engineers using heavy lifting platforms and mobile cranes have now moved the submarine to Blackbury Docks, where the crew are currently inspecting her for damage. Raspberry Fields Metropolitan Police eventually charged the captain with the following offences: Failure to display a valid tax-disc. Failure to display valid licence plates. Parking in a restricted zone. Failure to display suitable warning signage on an oversize vehicle. Driving without due care and attention. Kerb crawling. Not wearing a seat-belt while driving. Failure to make a customs declaration. The captain has accepted these charges and agreed to a [dohtml]ℑ[/dohtml]40,000 fine and 9 points on his licence. |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 13 2008, 10:14 PM Post #246 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is ten o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network! Tonight's main headlines: More New Provinces: Surprise news from the Sea of Regret. It appears that billionaire business mogul, Constantine Malachite is a little too impatient to get that provincial governor's job he's had his eye on. Evidently he's spent the last few days in negotiations with the surviving Nivogalese colonists on the Isle of Tantrum and Jilted Atoll... and bought both landmasses! In return for kickstarting their local economies and providing employment for all the islands' denizens by absorbing existing local businesses into appropriate arms of Malachite Evolving Enterprises, Mr Malachite has been declared their official governor on behalf of the Rhanukhani government. He will be formally appointed by His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman in a ceremony tomorrow when the islands will also be renamed in traditional Old Rhanukhani. Remnants of the Nivogalese military on the islands have already sworn allegiance to His Resplendence and are being transported back to the mainland for full Rhanukhani military training. They are being replaced with Rhanukhani personnel already operating in the Sea of Regret. Election Fever: In the other new provinces of Kharanwhari and Bahamghar, Constantine Malachite's actions have caused the competition to hot up with all the candidates hitting the campaign trail. Gillian Towelrail, our new political correspondent, brings us her first report on what promises to be a hard fought election. Island Paradise: Just days after opening it's doors to the world, RhanuTour have announced that P17 Holiday Island is already their most popular destination with solid bookings all the way through to the end of the year. Out of Order?: Viewers across the OrbiTech Communications Network may experience interruptions in service over the next few days as essential upgrades are implemented on all satellites. Thanks to the efficient and rapid deployment and return times available to the new Inspiration class spaceplane, orbital missions like this can be carried out swiftly and inexpensively. Science correspondent, Jonathan Spatula brings us a special feature later in the program. And finally: Evidence of more survivors of the liberation of Lazarastra several weeks ago has been discovered. Details are sketchy at the moment but we expect a full report from Dwight Alabaster at some point in the near future. All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 13 2008, 10:36 PM Post #247 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Transmission intercepted by Rhanukhani National Security Agency - Internal Division] ........ratulations, Mr.....................................hat was quite the cou.....................ulled off today! It was ind..................struction of Nivo...............ng to be a most profi..........vent. My surv.....................lready discov............................................anana based ore uniq..............................antrum which will be most u......... Oh? ...ar not, Prof...........................e involved in that project onc...............................tiated. My thanks, Mr......................I'm sure it will plea............................at work has already begu.............................biTech satellite ne.....................................tercept splo...........nals - with all the data Age........llow provi...................mple matter to ascert...................tern and frequency invol...... ...cellent news, Professor - the................................gents in Gler................ink twice about using the sp..........id their maste..........................oves so unreliable. Speaking of th........................... have you mana.................nfirm who amongst th...........icans is wor..............hem? Not yet, no - th...................vered their tracks extr..................ll and have doubtle..............................or years, setting thin.....................ows which other nations they ha...............................filtrate? [Signal lost] |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 14 2008, 11:03 PM Post #248 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is eleven o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network! Tonight's main headlines: Triumphant Return: Following yesterday's reports of newly discovered survivors of the Lazarastran liberation, RSNN can exclusively reveal the return of roving reporter Sophie Futon! She'll be bringing her full report on her rescue, treatment for banalite infection and on her experiences under the influence of "Queen Lucy" Sideboard - the fugitive would-be ruler of Lazarastra who's current whereabouts are still unknown. New Governor: Constantine Malachite was formally appointed governor of the island provinces of Lehpuhrta and Currakhan - formerly the Isle of Tantrum and Jilted Atoll respectively - in a special ceremony today. Malachite Evolving Enterprises is using it's vast resources to create a functional modern infrastructure on the islands which were barely established as colonies by Nivogal when that nation was destroyed in a nuclear catastrophe recently. Dwight Alabaster was at the ceremony and gives us his report later in the programme. Who's it Gonna Be?: Political correspondent, Gillian Towelrail brings us the latest round up of the election campaigns of those hopefuls wanting to be governor of Kharanwhari or Bahamghar - including a special interview with candidate, movie legend and action hero, Brett Showercap - star of the "Exterminator" movies and "The Walking Man". And finally: Ahztlarhan Rising? Archeologists have reported finding evidence of a stone age civilization on the sea bed of the Hesslian Sea leading many to speculate that the legendary nation of Ahztlarhan - mythical homeland of the Rhanukhi tribe who founded Rhanukhan in ancient times - may be more real than previously believed. Professor George Teapot, who's team made the discovery, has been quick to point out, however, that although several buildings have been found so far - including a large temple-like structure - none of them are made of pure gold as described in the myth. Jonathan Spatula brings us his report on the ongoing investigation. All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 14 2008, 11:25 PM Post #249 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Transmission intercepted by Rhanukhani National Security Agency - Internal Division] I see your agen.............................turn to the limeligh............ssor, and that she ap.............tored to her former appea........... Yes, Mr........................e was put through the GBI-2 pro..............................ver of receiving treatment for ba..............ction. In spite of ap...................................mpletely devoted to our cau.... .....as surpris............rn she was alive at a....................ere she has been these last fe.................. ...................btain a full acco.........................t her next debriefing, Mr....................... Do tha.....................................ble to keep the news suppres............................et things up for a return to the fold - Miss Fu..................ore use as a..........................yal Rhanuk........................ain. The "uprisi...............ed it's purpose admira..................................ays have passed. ..................................ugh I'm slightly conce...........................ter-ego's reappe..............................ally believed we'd ma...........................aw attention away from "Qu.....................................................ious disappearance. Yes, well... with your sur..............ew identi................ghly unlikely anyo..............ake the conne...................oved Majes............................ually slip into obsc.........................eantime, I'll make the nece.........................ents to keep her out of the ne.......... ...ank you, Mr.............................. [Signal lost] |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 20 2008, 09:12 PM Post #250 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Evening Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is nine o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network! Tonight's main headlines: Bananætherium Boost!: Governor Malachite's promise to kickstart the economies of the new island provinces in the Sea of Regret are off to an inspiring start with employment readily available in the new Bananætherium mines springing up all over Lehpuhrta! A scientific team working for Malachite Evolving Enterprises discovered the rare element - believed to be unique to the island - during a survey of resources prior to the new governor's purchase of the province from the former colonial leaders. Details of the element's properties or possible uses have yet to be released but the sudden extensive mining operations imply that Constantine Malachite believes he's found himself yet another profitable venture. Election Day: As voters in Kharanwhari and Bahamghar hit the ballot boxes, political correspondent, Gillian Towelrail brings us the latest news in the election of the provinces' new governors. RSNN will bring you the results, live and exclusive later tonight! And finally: A disturbing new antisocial trend is emerging in the form of "nomming" - attacking a person by biting them. RSNN has received reports from the law enforcement agencies of many nations of a noticeable increase in this behaviour. What could it signify? We ask leading psychologist, Doctor Michael Terracotta later in the program. All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 20 2008, 09:30 PM Post #251 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Transmission intercepted by Rhanukhani National Security Agency - Internal Division] Mr...................ave wonderful new.........ou! You d......hat has occu............fessor? We believe w..................ssfully employed the Spl............upter against the Gl................ .........es - there was a rep.................antial energy pe..........................iTech satelli................n presume tha...............r team? Indeed it was, Mr...........................tected the initiation sig...........................ort trooper activating his sui...............epted the transmis.............................upter beam. Excellent work, Pro................................ny confirmation that the Gler......................nitely disr.......... Nothi...............................eep cover agen..................rt project itself - we beli..................uppressing the information of the failure - bu...............................ested to read the memo our Foreign Mi.................................rican counterpart a short while ago... [Signal lost] |
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| rhanukhan | Mar 20 2008, 09:56 PM Post #252 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Telegram from the Rhanukhani Foreign Office to Glerica] His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman is most troubled by an event that occurred earlier today and believes the Glerican government may be able to shed a little light on the matter. At approximately 17:45 in our province of Dariwhani, local law enforcers were called to an unusual scene. The body of a man had been discovered, in fact - if the reports are accurate - it had simply appeared before the witnesses. The body was in a rather distressed state, described as "turned inside out" by one witness. A study of the remains at the site suggest that he may have been wearing one of your recently unveiled splort suits. His Resplendence is concerned that Glerican operatives are employing splort technology to enter and leave Rhanukhan for unknown purposes and wishes to make it known that such behaviour will not be tolerated. If any further evidence of such activities is forthcoming, His Resplendence will consider it to be an invasion of Rhanukhani territory and thus an act of war... and will respond appropriately. Best regards, Allistair Ballustrade - Rhanukhani Foreign Minister |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 10 2008, 10:58 AM Post #253 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Midday Bulletin] Good afternoon viewers. The time is twelve o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network! Today's main headlines: Strange New Sight in the Skies: Today saw the maiden flight of the exciting new FS41 "Starhawk" fighter aircraft developed by Rhanukhan AeroTech – a subsidiary of Malachite Evolving Enterprises. This innovative new aircraft has been developed as a result of research into the new element, Bananætherium, which is currently being extensively mined on the island of Lehpuhrta. Bananætherium’s unusual gravity manipulating properties mean that the "Starhawk" fighter doesn’t employ conventional jet technology, but instead levitates and manoeuvres via it’s own personal gravity field, manipulated by the pilot. This offers unprecedented manoeuvrability of a kind that would kill any ordinary pilot, which has required the Air Fleet to employ specially developed GBI-1 crewmen. Experimental flights, testing the "Starhawk"'s limits and abilities are expected to continue over the coming days and RSNN’s science correspondent, Jonathan Spatula, will be bringing us regular updates from Golden Fields AFB in Khun. Lehpuhrtan Boom!: The Bananætherium mines of Lehpuhrta have turned that province's fortunes around and recent figures reveal that it currently enjoys the fastest growing economy in Rhanukhan. Governor Constantine Malachite - seen here leaving hospital yesterday, following treatment for an unspecified disease which has kept him out of the public eye for the last two weeks - will undoubtedly be delighted with the news. And finally: In a special feature, provincial governor of Bahamghar, movie legend and action hero, Brett Showercap - star of "Total Relapse" and the "Khonahn" movies shows Sophie Futon around his palatial new official residence on the shores of the Sea of Regret. All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 11 2008, 09:04 PM Post #254 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is ten o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network! Tonight's main headlines: Eyes on the Skies: Astronomers at the Kanghari Main Observatory are warning of a possible new NEO - that's "Near England Object" - comets and asteroids that have been nudged by the gravitational attraction of nearby planets into orbits that allow them to enter England's neighborhood. The object was noticed during routine observation of a section of sky when it was realised a particular star was missing. There was no evidence that it had gone nova leaving the only explanation being that a large dark object had recently moved between us and it. Authorities are naturally concerned about celestial impacts following the destruction of the nation of Britain's Empire when the infamous Banana fell on it late last year. A special team is being assembled to locate and study the object. We'll keep you updated on any new developments. Eyes Still on the Skies: RSNN’s science correspondent, Jonathan Spatula, brings us his regular update on the experimental new FS41 "Starhawk" fighter aircraft from Golden Fields AFB in Khun. And finally: We join Gillian Towelrail out in the field for exclusive live coverage of a special surprise event - stay tuned! |
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| New Drakensberg Range | Apr 11 2008, 09:07 PM Post #255 |
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Lord
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NDR think-tank confirm what everyone else has noticed. All governments inactive, bar Rhanukhani Dr Alan Strangelove, head of the study group known as 'Investigating Why No-One Is Doing Anything', rushed out of the NDR National Humanity Studies Building to address a crowd which had gathered to hear the findings. Unfortunately, like nearly everyone else in the region of (OOC: RP) England, nobody in the crowd was doing anything, except picking their noses, having their head in their hands, or snoozing. "People, people, this is exactly the problem." said Dr Strangelove. "Shut up. I'm trying to sleep!" said one crowd member. "No-one seems to be doing anything in the majority of the region of England anymore. We all need to get more active. Our study has concluded that nearly 99.9% of the region's population are doing nothing. That figure does not take into account the Rhanukhani population, which is apparently not suffering from this regional inactivity to any degree." continued the doctor. Lieutenant-General Milkybush, commander of the 3rd NDR Corps, said in a later statement at an empty press conference (all the press were having a smoke, and couldn't be bothered to go back into the conference when the break ended), "This is serious! There are only enough active soldiers to fill one platoon. And we're not the only country to have this problem. What happens if Rhanukhan decides to conquer the world? Who's going to stop them. I doubt the lazy people will have a care regarding who runs them." There is more to say, but this reporter can't be bothered. I'm going to have a snooze, and then go home and play on my Wii for 7 hours. |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 11 2008, 09:20 PM Post #256 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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OOC: It's not Rhanukhan conquering the world you have to worry about - over the next couple of days I'll be initiating the big event I've been building up to these last few months Pretty much everything I've done has had a long term purpose - I wonder how many of you have seen it coming?
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| rhanukhan | Apr 11 2008, 09:26 PM Post #257 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] Hello and good evening viewers! You join me, Gillian Towelrail, here at a secret location with members of the Rhanukhani National Security Agency for exclusive coverage of their latest operation and trust me - this is huge! Billy - point that camera over there... As you can see, viewers, I'm here alongside RNSA Agent Delores Spicerack - who was involved in the Gabriel Matthews incident a couple of months ago - and a fully armed and armoured assault squad. The RNSA consider this a priority mission and are taking no chances... oops - it looks like we're going in!... Gillian Towelrail, Rhanukhani State News Network (Secret Location - 22:26, 11/04/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 11 2008, 09:27 PM Post #258 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Transmission intercepted by Rhanukhani National Security Agency - Internal Division] ...and the GBI-2 process was a complete success - the world believes I was in the hospital because of a simple illness. Wonderful news Mr Malachite... and speaking of news, did you see the reports from Kanghari today? Indeed I did Professor, and I immediately set the OrbiTech Satellite Network to study the object. And?... It is as we feared! The Symyano Fleet is approaching. It can't be! It's all happening too soon! I'm afraid it is, Professor - we can only hope our - *muffled thumping* What the - *sound of doors crashing open and numerous booted feet entering the room* CONSTANTINE MALACHITE! THIS IS AGENT SPICERACK OF THE RNSA - YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR TREASON!!! No! Not now!!! Mr Malachite?! What is it? What's- Lucy! Cut the signal now! Don't let them- [signal lost] |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 11 2008, 10:00 PM Post #259 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Special Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] ...and the RNSA agents have surrounded Governor Constantine Malachite! They're demanding his immediate surrender on charges of treason! Billy! Zoom in on that! *camera shakily attempts to focus through broken down doors of the governor's office, revealing a smartly dressed Constantine Malachite backing away from a radio. Armed and armoured RNSA operatives are fanning out around the room.* Yes, it is indeed Mr Malachite... he appears to be - oh my! He's attacking them! *Though clearly unarmed, an enraged looking Constantine rushes the nearest operative and, with a single blow, slams him back into the wall. Chaos erupts in the office.* "CLOSE COMBAT, MEN - THE AGENCY NEEDS HIM ALIVE! DON'T SHOOT UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!" He's - he's - are you getting this Billy?! - he's taking them all on! This is incredible! *Constantine, displaying superhuman strength, throws an operative across the room into two more before running towards the door* He's coming this way! Billy!!! "STOP HIM!" *An operative draws a pistol and shoots Constantine in the leg. Constantine goes down just feet from the camera* -GASP!- Billy! Get that! *RNSA operatives rush out into the corridor* erm... you join me here at the Governor's Residence in Lehpuhrta, viewers, where we've just witnessed - *Constantine leaps up, seemingly uninjured by the shot, and grabs the nearest operative - Agent Spicerack - in a headlock, using her as a shield* "I can't let you interfere! Not now! Everybody back off!!" *The camera pans left to right showing operatives frozen in a moment of confusion - Constantine sees his chance and takes it. Throwing Agent Spicerack into the squad, he wheels and sprints down the corridor at world record speed, clearly heading for the large window leading outside* "DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY! FIRE AT WILL!!!" *A choked Agent Spicerack weakly attempts to countermand the operative's order but it's too late - a hail of bullets tears down the corridor, hammering into the fleeing figure and slamming him into the far wall. He goes limp and collapses to the floor. The operatives rush down, closely followed by the camera* I-I-I-I don't believe what we've just witnessed, viewers! Constantine Malachite, millionaire business mogul and provincial governor... gunned down and killed in his own- "He's not dead! Quickly, you saw what he was like! Get him cuffed and in the helicopter!" He's not...? Billy! Get that camera in here! *Camera swings down and focuses on the fallen body. Although his suit is ripped to shreds and his skin is appallingly bruised, there is no sign of any blood anywhere and Constantine groans quite audibly as the RNSA men slap their heaviest cuffs on him and hoist him up* That's... that's impossible! "Uuuurgh! Gen-GeneTech technology at it's -umph!- f-finest, my dear!" *In spite of the obvious pain, Constantine manages one of his charismatic smiles for the camera* "TAKE HIM AWAY!" um... er... well viewers, what can I add to that? You've just witnessed the arrest of Governor Constantine Malachite on charges of treason. What does this all mean? We go back to Trent in the studio for more on this exciting story - exclusively on Rhanukhan State News Network! Billy, cut the camera - I think I'm going to be si- Gillian Towelrail, Rhanukhani State News Network (Governor's Residence, Lehpuhrta - 23:00, 11/04/08) |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 11 2008, 10:22 PM Post #260 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Somewhere in Rhanukhan] +++VOICE PATTERN RECOGNISED - WELCOME TO THE MALACHITE EVOLVING ENTERPRISES MASTER NETWORK, PROFESSOR BEATRICE WARDROBE - LEVEL 2 SECURITY CLEARANCE GRANTED+++ No... no need for that any more, computer... it's all started now... we need to get everything moving - Constantine is already out of the picture... until we can get him back it's all up to me. Computer, activate Project: Golden Crescent - password: Regina! +++VOICE PATTERN RECOGNISED - PASSWORD ACCEPTED - WELCOME TO THE MALACHITE EVOLVING ENTERPRISES MASTER NETWORK, PROFESSOR LUCY SIDEBOARD - COMPLETE SECURITY CLEARANCE AND COMMAND GRANTED+++ |
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| disposablepuppetland | Apr 12 2008, 12:26 AM Post #261 |
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Duke
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I have my suspicions, but I'm probably wrong. I've been out most of this week but I'll try and post some updates next week. |
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| New Drakensberg Range | Apr 12 2008, 06:35 PM Post #262 |
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Lord
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Statement from the NDR Foreign Minister, Jeff Goldblake, to the Rhanukhani ambassador in Englesburgh, the capital of New Drakensberg Range Sir, the recent broadcast on your News Network has left our government very concerned. Please could you clarify what has happened, and please provide any background to what has happened that you feel is relevant. If Rhanukhan needs any assistance, don't hesitate to ask New Drakensberg Range for it. |
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| Glerica | Apr 12 2008, 06:36 PM Post #263 |
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Squire
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Found on an obscure internet forum Posted by SplortBoy67 Wow! Did you see that? Splort Squad is on red alert after the whole rhanukhan incident... Lots of covert ops splorting in and about town. Also remember that captain? She's back... and more active than before. |
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| New Drakensberg Range | Apr 12 2008, 06:50 PM Post #264 |
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Lord
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Statement by the NDR Prime Minister, Sam Houselion, to the Glerican head of government Sir, I wish to officially apologise for the decision made by the previous government of NDR, to order the sinking of the Liberation. The previous government did not realise that the threat posed by the virus could be dealt with without the use of extreme force, as your country has made clear. I am offering the payment of reparations. I hope that NDR-Glerican relations can be repaired, despite the awful act committed by our country. |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 12 2008, 07:02 PM Post #265 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Evening Bulletin] Good evening viewers. The time is eight o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across England thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network! Tonight's main headlines: Nightmare in the Skies: Reports from the Kanghari Main Observatory have confirmed the presence of a large cluster of celestial objects on a collision course with England! A time of arrival and potential locations of impact are still being estimated but this could prove to be the most devastating event in modern history. Considering the destruction of the nation of Britain's Empire when the infamous Banana fell on it late last year, the government has initiated a state of high alert and sent out warnings to all nations in England. The special team assembled to locate and study the objects has now been expanded with experts from many different disciplines to develop measures for preventing an impact or dealing with the aftermath of one. We'll keep you updated on any new developments. Chaos in the Marketplace: Shares in companies under the Malachite Evolving Enterprises umbrella were in freefall today following the arrest of the corporation's owner, Constantine Malachite. Financial correspondant, Wendy Collander, will be bringing us her report on today's events. It's Treason Then?: Billionaire business mogul and provincial governor, Constantine Malachite remains in the custody of the Rhanukhani National Security Agency following his spectacular arrest last night. No specific details are being released at present but speculation amongst outside sources suggest he may be connected with the Lazarastran uprising earlier this year. We join roving reporter, Sophie Futon for the opinion of the man in the street. And finally: RSNN’s science correspondent, Jonathan Spatula, brings us his regular update from Golden Fields AFB in Khun on the experimental new FS41 "Starhawk" fighter aircraft which today was put through a sub-orbital test flight. All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break... |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 12 2008, 07:10 PM Post #266 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network] Helloooo and good evening viewers! I'm roving reporter, Sophie Futon, here on the streets of Rhanukhan city to get your opinions on todays big stories! [Claire Radiator - 76 - cake factory worker] I'm shocked, naturally - Mr Malachite always seemed like such a nice chap on the telly! [Stuart Monkeywrench - 37 - stock market trader] My shares! My money!!! Nooooooo!!!!! [Donna Tungsten - 43 - amateur astronomer] I'm thrilled at the prospect of seeing such a sight! My telescope has been pointed at that section of the sky since last night - hopefully I'll be able to see the asteroids soon! [Nigel Doorstop - 19 - internet entrepreneur] Aliens!! It's aliens, I'm telling you! And that Malachite guy? I never trusted him! You can't trust the corporations people! Did you know his company's name can be abbreviated to MalEvolEnt? huh? huh? Tell me that's just coincidence!!! [Bobby Dishcloth- 9 - clothing factory worker] I think it's a really cool plane - it's gonna be awesome fighting the other countries!!! Sophie Futon, Rhanukhani State News Network (Rhanukhan - 20:09, 12/04/08) |
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| New Drakensberg Range | Apr 12 2008, 07:24 PM Post #267 |
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Lord
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Article in the Evening News, an NDR national newspaper, entitled "It ain't ET!" Scientists working at the Big Dome with a Big Telescope Sticking Out of It, have confirmed reports by Rhanukhani counterparts that large objects are on a course to hit England. They say that they cannot determine their exact sizes, although they warn they are large enough to "blow us away!". They have also been unable to determine where exactly each object will hit, nor have they been able to determine when they will hit, although they did say that they would take less time to hit England, than it would for Boris Johnson to string a coherent sentence together. "So, anywhere up to 1000 years is our best guess" said one scientist. "We're not really good at this sort of thing. We just thought the telescope was for show. We thought we got paid for wearing white suits, and looking really nerdy." Air Marshall Brian Blackbuster, commander of the NDR Aerospace Defence Network, told reporters that plans are being prepared to deal with the objects. The Marshall said "If you look at all the comet-destroying movies, you can see that nuclear missles always work! Always! .... Well..., not always, but fingers crossed they will this time". |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 12 2008, 07:48 PM Post #268 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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[First interview with Constantine Malachite. Agent Delores Spicerack interrogating.] DS: We've been gathering information on you for some time now, Mr Malachite - is there anything you'd like to say? CM: I have done nothing against the interests of Rhanukhan and recommend that you release me immediately. DS: I beg to differ, Mr Malachite - the Agency has reason to believe that you personally are responsible for a number of major incidents over the last few months - not least of which was the uprising in Lazarastra! Do you know how many people died during that? CM: Yes, it was a tragic event but I can assure you I played no part in it, Ms Spicerack - Delores, isn't it? DS: Agent Spicerack to you, Mr Malachite! CM: I see. Continue then... Agent Spicerack. DS: Admit it, Malachite - you initiated that whole thing as a cover for your development of the GeneTech Banana Infantryman project! I mean, look at the numbers! You even used the Lazarastran colonists as the first wave - they're not artificially produced clones at all! CM: I doubt very much you can prove such a ludicrous fantasy, Agent Spicerack - if this is the sort of accusation I'm going to be facing you may as well let me go right now. DS: I can hold you purely on the charge of assaulting me and my operatives, Mr Malachite - two of them are still in the hospital right now - how did you do that? CM: I believe you'll find they invaded my home and attacked me, Agent Spicerack. As for my prowess against them - let's put that down to a healthy diet and plenty of exercise, shall we! DS: You were shot several times and you're sitting here fine and dandy! Even the bruising has almost completely gone! What are you? CM: Nothing special - just your average billionaire businessman. DS: Don't play games, Malachite - what about Lucy Sideboard?! CM: What of her? DS: She works for you! CM: She did - she stopped being an employee of mine when she appointed herself queen of Lazarastra. DS: She works for you now, dammit! You were talking to her on the radio when we arrested you! I heard you call her name! CM: There are plenty of Lucy's in the world, Agent Spicerack. DS: Where is she???!!! CM: I honestly couldn't say. DS: Nnn! What about Gabriel Matthews? What did he know? CM: Gabriel who? I'm sorry, Agent Spicerack - I really don't know what you're talking about. DS: I know that was your submarine that sank the Phoenix! Who else could it have been? What was on that boat, Malachite?! CM: Again, I have no idea what you're talking about. DS: Fine! Perhaps you'd prefer to explain why you suppressed so much information when you took over the space program! CM: I did no such thing. DS: No? A whistle-blower managed to get some files out before you got to him. You had the Diligence shot down, didn't you? CM: I think we both know that's an outrageous fabrication. DS: You did! You set everything up for an easy takeover of the space program! What are you playing at, Malachite? If I was as much of a conspiracy theorist as some of the people I deal with I'd be very concerned about all the things you've been putting in orbit lately. CM: Ah well, if you've been listening to such people that would explain why I've been hauled in here - and to think, the RNSA used to be such a professional organisation! DS: *fist slams on table* Dammit, Malachite! We know what you're doing! Well, you won't be doing it for the time being - take him back to the cells - we'll try again tomorrow! |
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| New Drakensberg Range | Apr 12 2008, 08:14 PM Post #269 |
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Lord
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In an alleyway in Englesburgh, the capital of New Drakensberg Range, a high-ranking member of the Rhanukhani embassy team in New Drakensberg Range is walking. It is night-time, and only the light of the moon illuminates the way ahead. No noise can be heared, save for the short, sharp, bark of a dog in the distance. The man walks along the alleyway, watching not to step into any of the puddles. He is cold, and wraps his coat around him even tighter. Suddenly, a bin by the alleyway rattles. "Who's there" said the man. "Mr Browning. I'm glad we can meet" said a man who emerged from behind the bin. He was dressed in a black suit, wearing a black hat and some sunglasses. He started walking towards Mr Browning, splashing through several puddles as he did so. "I am sorry we must meet like this, but Malachite has eyes everywhere, even in New Drakensberg Range. Few places are outside of his reach." "You said in that letter you sent me that you had information regarding Gabriel Matthews" said Mr Browning. "Before I tell you, know that Malachite doesn't want the information spreading around for a reason. If his men know that you have the information, they will target you for immediate termination." The man took a breath, and said "Matthews was an employee of Malachite, working in one of his various PR departments. He would write press releases, make statements to the press occassionally, that sort of thing. Nothing too flashy." "He was working one day in Malachite's HQ, interviewing a few people about projects that Malachite didn't mind people knowing about. He started interviewing a doctor working for a few of Malachite's research projects." There was silence. "And" said Mr Browning. "We don't know who she is. All we know is that she was a member of a research project that Malachite didn't want people to know about. We believe that she was working on a project regarding artifical viruses." "Viruses! Like the Banalite virus?" "We believe that the Banalite virus was a creation of this project, and we believe Matthews had proof of this, as well as information to defeat the virus." "Now, Mr Browning, the information I have that Malachite would kill for, is that we have intelligence to suggest that a data core containing information about the project is located in the Glerican capital. We suspect it is the same data core Matthews had before the ship he was travelling on was attacked." "I wonder how it can be retrieved." "And who is "we"?" "Just an organisation with the same interests that you have. Well..., mostly the same." With that, the man made a quick dash for the other side of the alleyway. Mr Browning did not follow. |
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| rhanukhan | Apr 12 2008, 08:14 PM Post #270 |
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Halfway 'twixt Mars and Venus
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Telegram to NDR Foreign Minister, Jeff Goldblake, from the Rhanukhani Embassy, NDR Good day Mr Goldblake, You will be pleased to hear that you need not concern yourself with the strictly internal matter of Governor Malachite's recent arrest. The RNSA has put together a comprehensive file on his recent activities and outlined a compelling case against him including - and I believe this part will be of particular interest to yourself - evidence that he was the one responsible for the sinking of your vessel, NDRNS Phoenix, last January. I can assure you that he will be brought to trial for his crimes with all haste. Best regards, Ambassador Mathew Dessert-Trolley |
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Pretty much everything I've done has had a long term purpose - I wonder how many of you have seen it coming?

2:14 PM Jul 11