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The England Cricket Cup; The glorious sound of leather on willow!
Topic Started: Jan 31 2008, 05:28 PM (802 Views)
United Idiocracy
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Squire
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The UICB (United Idiocracy Cricket Board) invites the nations of England to compete for the first England Cricket Cup.

Games will be played according to standard World Cup Cricket rules (50 overs) (ok, via random number generator :P ). All participating nations will be entered into the first round draw on 8th February.

If you wish to take part, please post below with details of your team!

Ambassadors: Could you spread the word, to see if we can get any nations outside England entering??
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Nivogal
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Sure, I can include this in the update. Great idea!

Now in terms of team details, what exactly do you need to know ;) ? :ph43r:
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asxtc
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Andy
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I am sure that the best team in ASXTC and winners of the Truetype League have time between tours to take part.

The ASXTC presidents 4th "Silly Mid Off" Barmy Army (Marlebone Division)
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United Idiocracy
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Nivogal,31 Jan 2008
07:28 PM
Sure, I can include this in the update. Great idea!

Now in terms of team details, what exactly do you need to know ;) ? :ph43r:

A team list, basically. Make it as detailed as you like. Anything not included I need I'll make up :D
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Leetuania
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Lord
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Leetys XI will be posted shortly, I can;t wait, great idea. We did this a couple of years ago but the format wasn't great I am looking forward to seeing how yours works. :D
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United Idiocracy
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United Idiocracy

1) Ian Thickston (North Idiocracy)
2) Craig Dumby (S.I.)
3) Paul Silliview (N.I., Captain)
4) Michael Plonker (N.I., Occasional Off spin)
5) Terry D'Khead (W.I)
6) Richard Numbnuts (E.I., All-rounder, Fast-Medium bowler)
7) Andy Fool (N.I., Wicket Keeper)
8) Barry Crasie (W.I., Medium)
9) Alan Dim (N.I., Off spin)
10) Steven Denser (S.I., Fast)
11) Jonny Thickey (N.I., Fast)

The current UI team reflects the superiority of North Idiocracy in the domestic leagues, having won all competitions this year. One surprise inclusion is the Western Idiocracy Swing bowler Barry Crasie, who has been preferred over NI's quickie Sim Duh, the selectors obviously favouring the variety that Crasie will offer.

All eyes will be on Richard Numbnuts, after his heroic efforts effectively carrying the whole EI team, having top scored in just over half their games, and taking more wickets than rest of the attack put together, even though this failed to prevent them coming last in all competitions.
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asxtc
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Andy
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In the same vein then:

The ASXTC presidents 4th "Silly Mid Off" Barmy Army (Marlebone Division)

1) Hira Punn (opener...so far Not-out in all (both) competitions)
2) Prembahahdur Thakali (was once cited for ball tampering...during the pre-match conference)
3) Billy Bob Baxter (currently on probation leave)
4) Mike Hunt (once starred as as a Simsons telephone joke)
5) Don Key (has bad days)
6) Mickey O' Clock-Medium/fast drinker
7) Ikant Singh- Fast (cha cha cha champion dancer)
8) Paul Atriedes-Off spin
9) Hanibal Lactose-Wkeeper
10) Chuck Chuck- spin
11) Ulyces Underarm- slow left hander

This is the 4th team the President has put together after the previous 3 failed to beat the Womens Institute 2 IX. This team only winning the inaugral match at the new Abu Graib Stadium, when the president declared bad light whilst only 3 runs were on the board. ..and jailing the 4 women bowlers for having long hair.
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United Idiocracy
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Yea! We have a competition!!
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Forthampton
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Baroness Forthampton
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Forthampton's Culture Minister, Steven Brotherton, announced today in the national media corporation (FBC) Forthampton's entry team to the Englad International Cricket Cup. They consist of the following national cricket heros:

1. Neil Whitehouse (Captain)
2. Carole Asher (Vice Captain - All Rounder)
3. Jennifer Fletcher (Batswoman)
4. Alfred Wigglesbottom (Wicket-Keeper)
5. Gregory McAdams (Fast Bowler)
6. Christopher McFarland (All Rounder)
7. Abbey Whitley (Fast Bowler)
8. Timothy Masterson (Batman)
9. Damian Spencer (Spin Bowler)
10. Russel Morgan (Batsman)
11. Leonard Cook (Batsman)

As one of a few nations, if not the only nation to have a national cricket policy of allowing both genders equal status, we are pround to field a team with representatives from both genders.

We look forward to playing against the best of what England has to offer, and obviously remind people not to under-estimate us ;)

Have a good day...
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United Idiocracy
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Just a reminder...the ECC draw will take place at 3pm on Saturday. Entries must be posted prior to this.
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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Ah thank-you, I do intend to enter a team, I'll post it this evening.
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disposablepuppetland
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Cricket is a very popular sport in Disposablepuppetland, but rarely played at a professional, or even sober level. Rounding up a team wasn't difficult, but the standard of our play may vary considerably.
As beach cricket is the main form of the game in DPL, our team is also mixed gender.

1. Colleedim Friestner (Opening bat, always plays barefoot)
2. Jenii Toasty (Opening bat, our token good player)
3. Pearn Hamblee (Doesn't like running so always goes for a boundary)
4. Jont Visturn (Captain, always plays with a beer in-hand, improves with inebriation)
5. Wall Trent (Underarm bowler)
6. Ferry Cottarge (Won't play if you throw it too hard)
7. Jah Fortheringdale (Off-spinner - or so he says anyway)
8. Danier Tanting (Fast bowler)
9. Ainjel Cake (Spin bowler)
10. Kati Carlee (Underarm off-spin)
11. Fish Teree (Wicket keeper, can catch with his beard)
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United Idiocracy
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Less than 24 Hours to the draw. Any remaining entrants please hurry!
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asxtc
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Andy
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You cant start yet....Leety hasnt informed the UI Internation board of his team list!!
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United Idiocracy
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Thats why the UICB is issuing these reminders! So Leety gets his a*se in gear!!
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asxtc
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Andy
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Knowing Leety...hes still got his 55 man squad in the nets...and cant pick between them ;)
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Nivogal
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Today, on the NPNC, Nivogalese Minister of Culture and Entertainment Hugo Chavez announced that Nivogal plans to participate in the English International Cricket Cup, stating that he wanted to see "the glory of Nivogal triumphantly victorious given our nations superb skills in all fields of sports." With that, he announced that members from the Nivogalese Praetorian Guard will have a team sent to participate in the match. They will be called Wolf Squad. They are:

1. Major Elena Montoya (Rifleman, Captain)
2. Sergeant Luciano Andretti (Rifleman, Vice Captain - All Rounder)
3. Private First Class Ingrid Munke (Medic, Batswoman)
4. Private Jean Luc Fremonte (Machine Gunner, Wicket-Keeper)
5. Private Richard Meyer (Demolitions, Fast Bowler)
6. Lance Corporal Pierre Marlon (Sniper, All Rounder)
7. Private First Class Victorio Mancini (Medic, Fast Bowler)
8. Lance Corporal Sigourney Merci Odette (Sniper, Batswoman)
9. Private Salvador Esteban Gaspar (Demolitions, Spin Bowler)
10. Private Fidel Cacahuates(Rifleman, Batsman)
11. Giovanni Merius Dante (Machine Gunner, Batsman)

:D :ph43r:
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Leetuania
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Lord
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S*** sorry,

1). Wassi Acrim
2). Cuttis Arminhalf
3). Arfa Dozenmarsbars
4). Givuss Ahandtalickeracne
5). Sunil Havascar
6). Mettim Inagaybar
7). Gee Whatawankar
8). Asif Heedgivasheet
9). Asay Heedgivasheet
10). Makka Sabitrusty
11). Madona Cantsinge

Humble appologies
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Nivogal
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Leetuania,9 Feb 2008
01:43 AM
S*** sorry,

1). Wassi Acrim
2). Cuttis Arminhalf
3). Arfa Dozenmarsbars
4). Givuss Ahandtalickeracne
5). Sunil Havascar
6). Mettim Inagaybar
7). Gee Whatawankar
8). Asif Heedgivasheet
9). Asay Heedgivasheet
10). Makka Sabitrusty
11). Madona Cantsinge

Humble appologies

:lol: :lol:

....sees it again

:lol:

*dies laughing*

Oh man Leety, you are my hero :lovie: :ph43r:
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asxtc
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Andy
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I think Leety is taking a big gamble playing the Heedgivasheet brothers.....they havent played together since Asif broke Asay's arm with his bat in that controversial 20/20.
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Nivogal
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asxtc,9 Feb 2008
04:30 AM
I think Leety is taking a big gamble playing the Heedgivasheet brothers.....they havent played together since Asif broke Asay's arm with his bat in that controversial 20/20.

As an Indian I greatly approve of his cricket team ^_^ :ph43r:
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United Idiocracy
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(Live draw direct from UICB Head Office, Idiocraton)

Welcome to the UICB Head office, at the ICC. I'm Colin Loon. We are joined today by viewers across England, and in particular, ASXTC, Leetuania, Nivogal, DPL, and Forthampton.

The draw will be made shortly. All the nations have been placed in the draw, and will be placed either Group A or B. Each Nation in each group will play each other once. The teams top of each group will then play-off in the final.

To make the draw, we are honoured to be have with us Derek Overforest, the legendary North Idiocracy all-rounder, and Denise Lillee, Captain of UI Ladies. Derek will be drawing the Group A teams, and Denise the Group B Teams.

(Derek steps up to the box)

And the first team out is LEETUANIA

(Denise takes a ball)

The first Group B team is DPL

(Derek selects the next ball)

Who will join Leetuania, ASXTC

(Denise puts her hand in)

FORTHAMPTON

(Derek's last ball)

Completing Group A is the home nation, UNITED IDIOCRACY

(Denise completes the draw)

The final nation drawn is NIVOGAL

So there we have the draw:

Quote:
 

GROUP A: Leetuania, ASXTC, United Idiocracy
GROUP B: DPL, Forthampton, Nivogal


The fixtures are as follows:
Quote:
 
Sunday 10th February, Leetuania v ASXTC; DPL v Forthampton
Monday 11th Feb: Leetuania v UI; DPL v Nivogal
Tuesday 12th Feb: ASXTC v UI; Forthampton v Nigal
Wednesday 13th Feb: Final


I am now joined by Larry Foule. Good afternoon Larry, what do make of the draw?
Good afternoon Colin, good afternoon everybody; well I think the first thing to notice is the difference between the groups, group A being much stronger than B. I would not like to say who will win Group A, as all three teams are very evenly matched. In group B, however, I think that Nivogal should have no real problems overcoming DPL and Forthampton. Who will take the cup though, well, thats anyones guess at the moment!

It was probably fortunate that DPL and UI were drawn in different groups, given the tensions in the FBE area at the moment, but lets hope that stays out of the cricket!

Thanks Larry. UITV will be carrying live coverage of all games, so we hope to see you tomorrow for the first matches in the ECC.
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United Idiocracy
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ECC Group A match: Leetuania v ASXTC

Leetuania (276-5, 50 Overs) Lost to ASXTC (277-2, 47 overs) by 8 Wickets.

An absolutely electrifying start to the ECC saw Leetuania narrowly losing out ASXTC.

The Leetuania innings got off to a solid start, with both openers starting well, until the partnership was broken Wassi Acrim was caught behind on 34, the remainder of the innings was solid, if not exciting, as Captain Arminhalf put together an excellent century, ably assisted by the middle order and a total of over 300 looked likely, however, a couple of late wickets and some very tight bowling restricted Leetuania to 276, which seemed a good total on a fairly lively wicket.

The reply of ASXTC was thunderous, with openers Punn and Thakali racing to their centuries. Despite numerous bowling changes, the 200 came up in the 21st over, and it looked like they would walk to an easy victory, however, when they both fell in the same over the ASXTC juggernaut came to a juddering halt, with the remaining 70 runs taking 16 overs to amass, giving hope to the Leetuania team, but alas, a couple of loose deliveries meant that the total was achieved with 47 overs gone.
Quote:
 

Scorecard:
Leetuania
Wassi Acrim...........................c.Lactose................b.O'clock_____34 
Cuttis Arminhalf ©________________________Not Out_____121 
Arfa Dozenmarsbars_______c.Key___________b.Chuck______32 
Givuss Ahandtalickeracne___lbw_____________b.Baxter_____46 
Sunil Havascar___________________________b.Underarm___12 
Mettim Inagaybar________hit wicket_________b.Atriedes____20 
Gee Whatawankar (wk)____________________Not Out______6 
Asif Heedgivasheet    
Asay Heedgivasheet    
Makka Sabitrusty    
Madona Cantsinge    
                                                                      Extras 5 
                                              Total 276 for 5 (50 overs)
Mickey O' Clock____10 0 73 1
Paul Atriedes______10 1 80 1
Chuck Chuck______10 3 36 1
Ulyces Underarm___10 1 43 1
Billy Bob Baxter____10 1 44 1

ASXTC
Hira Punn_____________________________b.Inagaybar____139 
Prembahahdur Thakali___________________b.Inagaybar____103 
Billy Bob Baxter__________________________NotOut_______21 
Mike Hunt______________________________NotOut________11 
Don Key    
Mickey O' Clock    
Ikant Singh    
Paul Atriedes    
Hanibal Lactose (wk)    
Chuck Chuck    
Ulyces Underarm    
                                                                                 Extras 3 
                                             277 for 2 (47 overs)
Asif Heedgivasheet________10 0 45 0
Asay Heedgivasheet_______10 2 54 0
Makka Sabitrusty__________10 1 53 0
Madona Cantsinge_________8 3 69 0
Mettim Inagaybar__________9 1 56 2
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United Idiocracy
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ECC Group B Match: DPL v Forthampton

DPL 193-3 (50 overs) Lost to Forthampton 195-7 (35.2 overs) by 3 wickets.

This was, to coin a phrase, a game of two halves.

DPL won the toss and elected to bat, on what seemed to be a perfect batting strip, however, some excellent tight bowling, combined with a wickets each time it looked like DPL were going to accelerate, meant that DPL was restricted to just 193 - a total which seemed far too low.

The Forthampton innings began explosively to say the least- with DPL opening bowler Fotheringdale being despatched to all areas of the field. Once he was taken off, it appeared to be anybody's game. Forthampton were easily scoring within the run-rate, but DPL continued to take regular wickets, but, crucially they failed to dismiss the Forthampton captain and opener Neil Whitehouse, who guided Forthampton to a convincing victory in the 36th over.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

DPL
Colleedim Friestner___________c.Asher________b.Asher______23 
Jenii Toasty_________________lbw___________b.Asher______36 
Pearn Hamblee______________c.Cook_________b.Spencer____51 
Jont Visturn ©____________________________Not Out______36 
Wall Trent________________________________Not Out______35 
Ferry Cottarge   
Jah Fortheringdale   
Danier Tanting   
Ainjel Cake   
Kati Carlee   
Fish Teree (Wk)   
                                                                              Extras 12 
                                          193 for 3 50 overs
Carole Asher........................10 4 42 2
Gregory McAdams................10 7 41 0
Christopher McFarland.........10 5 35 0
Abbey Whitley......................10 7 38 0
Damian Spencer...................10 5 37 1

Forthampton
Neil Whitehouse © ________________________Not Out_____102 
Carole Asher_____________________________b.Trent_______13 
Jennifer Fletcher__________________________b.Trent_______23 
Alfred Wigglesbottom (Wk)___c.Teree_________b.Trent_______26 
Gregory McAdams____________lbw__________b.Cake________0 
Christopher McFarland_______c.Toasty________b.Tanting_____15 
Abbey Whitley_____________c.Visturn________b.Cake_______12 
Timothy Masterson________________________b.Carlee_______0 
Damian Spencer__________________________Not Out_______4 
Russel Morgan   
Leonard Cook   
                                                                                        Extras 0 
                                                            195 for 7 35.2 overs
Wall Trent__________10 1 33 3
Jah Fortheringdale____5 0 51 0
Danier Tanting_______8 0 38 1
Ainjel Cake__________8 0 48 2
Kati Carlee__________4.2 0 25 1

 
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asxtc
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Andy
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Andy...ASXTC team coach after the match

"It was a great all round team effort..all the bowlers keeping a nice line and length...the wicket of Acrim was a very important breakthrough and even tho we restriced the run-rate...Leetuania were always looking for 300....it was a great take from Hanibal...the ball was moving away from his righ side..but he picked it out of the air beautifully. Luckily we managed to prevent Arminhalf getting the strike towards the end...and saved a few runs. Arminhalf was realy giving us some worries in the pavillion and you can see why he made the Leetuanian squad, he's a quality batsman....but we have our own. Hira and Prem looked solid right from the off and the run-rate never looked in doubt.
Inagaybar did much better with the ball than he does with the bat and when Hira went for 139 we were easily in control...you cant take the fine bowling by Inagaybar away though and he got his reward with Prem's wicket in the same over. Billy and Mike saw us home quite comfortably and i think we deserved the win.

We are still going to work on the bowling...as the next match comes up quite quickly and we want to use this fine win as a springboard to the finals."
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Leetuania
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Lord
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Things were looking so good for Leetuania, when once again Havascar went for a slash down the leg side. He has been warned about this before, you just can't go p***ing down your leg at this level and expect to get away with it.

asxtc were good enough to take advantage of this minor indescretion and mop up
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United Idiocracy
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ECC Current Standings

Group A
......................Played.......Won......Tied........Lost.........NR........Net RR..........Pts
ASXTC....................1...........1..........0.............0.............0...........0.37..............2
UI..........................0...........0..........0..............0............0..............0.................0
Leetuania..............1...........0..........0..............1...........0............-0.37.............0

Group B
......................Played.......Won......Tied........Lost.........NR........Net RR..........Pts
Fothampton.......1...........1..........0.............0.............0.............1.67..............2
Nivogal..............0...........0..........0..............0............0..............0...................0
DPL....................1...........0..........0..............1...........0.............-1.67..............0

(2 pts win, 1pt Tie, 0.5 pts No Result)
In event of tie, places decided on net run rate.
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United Idiocracy
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ECC Group A Match: Leetuania v United Idiocracy

Leetuania 328-2 (50 overs) beat United Idiocracy 99-4 (50 overs) by 229 runs.

United Idiocracy won the toss and put Leetuania in on a damp wicket, with a slow outfield, following overnight torrential rain, clearly hoping that the ground would improve through the day.

Leetuania came out and immediately looked in trouble, with UI quickie Barry Crasie dismissing Arminhalf and Dozenmarsbars in the first over, leaving Leetuania on 1/2 after the first over, however, this was as good as it got for UI, who were then treated to fine batting display as Leetuania amassed a respectable 328.

The UI response never got out of the starting blocks, with the Leetuania bowlers showing a masterclass in line and length bowling, with the odd wicket thrown in for good measure. By the 30th over, the previous capacity crowd at the Idiocraton Cricket Ground had dwindled to little over half full, as the UI spectators voted with their feet. Leetuania supporters were in full voice however, as they cheered their team to a convincing victory.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 


Leetuania Innings
Wassi Acrim__________________________Not Out____173 
Cuttis Arminhalf ©_____________________b.Crasie______0 
Arfa Dozenmarsbars___________________b.Crasie______0 
Givuss Ahandtalickeracne_______________Not Out_____142 
Sunil Havascar   
Mettim Inagaybar   
Gee Whatawankar (wk)   
Asif Heedgivasheet   
Asay Heedgivasheet   
Makka Sabitrusty   
Madona Cantsinge   
  Extras 13 
  Total 328 for 2 (50 overs)
Barry Crasie_____________10 1 56 2
Alan Dim________________10 2 58 0
Steven Denser____________6 1 63 0
Jonny Thickey____________10 0 72 0
Richard Numbnuts_________10 0 49 0
Mike Plonker______________4 1 30 0

UI Innings
Ian Thickston_______c.Havascar_______b.Heedgivasheet__24 
Craig Dumby_________lbw____________b.Sabitrusty_____32 
Paul Silliview ©_____________________b.Inagaybar_____17 
Mike Plonker________________________b.Inagaybar_____14 
Terry D'Khead_______________________Not Out_________3 
Richard Numbnuts____________________Not Out_________4 
Andy Fool (wk)   
Barry Crasie   
Alan Dim   
Steven Denser   
Jonny Thickey   
  Extras 5 
  Total 99 for 4 (50 overs)
Asif Heedgivasheet_______10 6 21 1
Asay Heedgivasheet______10 4 31 0
Makka Sabitrusty_________10 4 17 1
Madona Cantsinge_______10 5 21 0
Mettim Inagaybar_________10 8 9 2



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United Idiocracy
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ECC Group B Match: DPL v Nivogal

DPL 433-1 (50 Overs) beat Nivogal 305-4 (50 overs) by 128 runs.

It was a hot, hard day in the field for Nivogal as DPL won the toss and elected to bat on a perfect batting strip and immediately started to despatch the Nivogalese bowling to all areas of the outfield. A brief bright spot was when DPL opener Friestner was dismissed for 78, but any optimism soon evaporated Pearn Hamblee continued to smack the bowling around.

In reply, Nivogal did well, and immediately attacked the DPL bowling, however, with key wickets falling just when it looked like they were closing down on DPL, they never really looked like conquering such a high total, even with the help of the DPL bowlers who managed to bowl nearly six extra overs in wides!

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

DPL Innings:
Colleedim Friestner______________________b.Meyer___78 
Jenii Toasty____________________________Not Out__161 
Pearn Hamblee_________________________Not Out__173 
Jont Visturn ©   
Wall Trent   
Ferry Cottarge   
Jah Fortheringdale   
Danier Tanting   
Ainjel Cake   
Kati Carlee   
Fish Teree (Wk)   
  Extras 21 
  Total 433 for 1 (50 overs)
Luciano Andretti__________10 0 79 0
Richard Meyer____________10 0 81 1
Pierre Marlon____________10 0 88 0
Victorio Mancini___________10 1 83 0
Salvador Esteban Gaspar___10 0 102 0
 
Nivogal Innings
Elena Montoya ©___________c.Teree_________b.Tanting____73 
Luciano Andretti____________c.Teree_________b.Tanting_____72 
Ingrid Munke______________________________Run Out_____48 
Jean Luc Fremonte (wk)______________________Not Out_____35 
Richard Meyer______________________________Not Out_____42 
Pierre Marlon   
Victorio Mancini   
Sigourney Merci Odette   
Salvador Esteban Gaspar   
Fidel Cacahuates   
Giovanni Merius Dante   
  Extras 35 
  Total 305 for 4 (50 overs)
Wall Trent______________10 0 49 0
Jah Fortheringdale________10 1 51 0
Danier Tanting___________10 0 61 2
Ainjel Cake______________10 0 73 0
Kati Carlee______________10 1 71 0

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United Idiocracy
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ECC Current Standings

Group A
......................Played.......Won......Tied........Lost.........NR........Net RR..........Pts
Leetuania..............2...........1..........0..............1...........0............4.21..............2
ASXTC....................1...........1..........0.............0.............0...........0.37..............2
UI..........................1...........0..........0..............1............0..........-4.58..............0


Group B
......................Played.......Won......Tied........Lost.........NR........Net RR..........Pts
Fothampton.......1...........1..........0.............0.............0.............1.67..............2
DPL....................2...........1..........0..............1...........0................0.9..............2
Nivogal..............1...........0..........0..............1............0..............-2.56............0

(2 pts win, 1pt Tie, 0.5 pts No Result)
In event of tie, places decided on net run rate.

To qualify for the final:
LEETUANIA need UI to beat ASXTC by fewer than 440 runs
ASXTC must beat UI
UI must beat ASXTC by 440 runs (or equivalent)

FORTHAMPTON must beat Nivogal, or lose by fewer than 38 runs.
DPL need Nivogal to win by 39 or more runs, but fewer than 173 runs.
NIVOGAL must beat Forthampton by more than 173 runs.
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