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The England Cricket Cup; The glorious sound of leather on willow!
Topic Started: Jan 31 2008, 05:28 PM (803 Views)
United Idiocracy
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Squire
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*Back page of the UI Times*

SILLIVIEW SACKED

The UICB have announced that following their extremely poor showing in today's ECC cup match against Leetuania, Paul Silliview has been relieved of his post as captain of UI. Richard Numbnuts will take over with immediate effect, although Silliview retains his place in the side.

The performance of UI today has been variously described as "shocking", "painful to watch" and several other comments we are not able to publish. Already it is unlikely that UI will qualify for the final, needing little short of a miracle, and watching the team being booed off by the few spectators who had stayed to the finish, spoke volumes for their opinion.
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Leetuania
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Lord
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To make the this most excellent tournament last just that little bit longer, can we not have semi-finals before the finals???

Just eliminate the bottom team of each group after the group stages

This would give some of the players a chance to really hit thier straps and put even more value on the covetted trophy.

What do yer say??

Hmm? Hmmm?

Pleeeeeeeeeeeease :rolleyes:
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Nivogal
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Leetuania,11 Feb 2008
12:32 PM
To make the this most excellent tournament last just that little bit longer, can we not have semi-finals before the finals???

Just eliminate the bottom team of each group after the group stages

This would give some of the players a chance to really hit thier straps and put even more value on the covetted trophy.

What do yer say??

Hmm? Hmmm?

Pleeeeeeeeeeeease :rolleyes:

Whether or not I win the finals I intend to still take you on!

Hugo Chavez will make sure of it! :ph43r:
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asxtc
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Andy
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I was under the impression that the top 2 went through to the finals....but then I mearly skipped through the 4,672 pages of rules that the UICB sent out. :lol:
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Leetuania
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Lord
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At the moment the top 2 do go through, I just thought it might make it more interesting to have an extra round of semi's.
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asxtc
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Andy
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What page was that again....
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Bogans and Boozers
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Baron
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An interesting thought (thought I'd post it here, and then it could be expanded further in the Entertainment section):

Has anyone here heard of www.stickcricket.com?

For those who don't know, Stick Cricket is an online cricket game, where you can play either one player, or multiplayer games. They also have private leagues, which might be an interesting outlet for future NS related cricket comps.

There is also www.stickfootball.com, which could be a good for a football comp as well.
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Leetuania
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Lord
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Just wasted the last 2 hours of my life trying to hit the bloody ball, when I did it went straight to a fielder, bloody frustrating game this stick cricket.

Any tip bogans?
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United Idiocracy
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Following numerous requests, the UICB annouce the following change to the structure of the ECC:

A semi-final round is to be introduced:
Winner group A v runner-up group B
Winner group B v Runner-up group A

The winners shall go through to the final, the losers will play off for 3/4th place.

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United Idiocracy
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ECC Group A Match: United Idiocracy v ASXTC

United Idiocracy 440-8 (50 overs) beat ASXTC 433-1 (50 overs) by 7 runs.

New UI captain Richard Numbnuts won the toss, and not repeating his Paul Silliviews mistake, decided to bat on a perfect batting track. Immediately UI took the attack to ASXTC, and despite wickets falling at regularly intervals, put together a huge total, mainly thanks to Ian Thickston, who smashed the previous UI record with a classy 202.

Looking down the barrel of a huge total, The ASXTC innings started poorly, finding themselves on 6-1 after 5 overs, however, it didn't take long for Hira Punn and Billy Bob Baxter to get into the swing of things, maintaing a run rate of around 10 throughout the innings. UI tried numerous bowling changes, using 7 bowlers, however, they could not reign in the ASXTC, however, in the end, those first few lean overs were crucial. Requiring 26 off the last over, only 19 runs were forthcoming, and the ASXTC innings ended 7 runs short of the target.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

UI Innings:
Ian Thickston_______st.Lactose_______b.Atriedes____202 
Craig Dumby_______________________b.O'clock______87 
Paul Silliview________c.Key___________b.Chuck______31 
Mike Plonker________st.Lactose_______b.Atriedes____20 
Terry D'Khead______________________Run Out______19 
Richard Numbnuts ©__c.Singh_________b.Atriedes______2 
Andy Fool (wk)_____________________b.Baxter_______23 
Barry Crasie_______________________b.Underarm____31 
Alan Dim__________________________Not Out________3 
Steven Denser_____________________Not Out________1 
Jonny Thickey   
  Extras 21 
  TOTAL 440 for 8 (50 overs)
Mickey O' Clock___10 0 92 1
Paul Atriedes____10 1 68 3
Chuck Chuck____10 0 84 1
Ulyces Underarm_10 0 93 1
Billy Bob Baxter__10 0 103 1
   
ASXTC Innings:
Hira Punn_________________________Not Out___201 
Prembahahdur Thakali____c.D'Khead___b.Numbnuts__5 
Billy Bob Baxter____________________Not Out____210 
Mike Hunt   
Don Key   
Mickey O' Clock   
Ikant Singh   
Paul Atriedes   
Hanibal Lactose (wk)   
Chuck Chuck   
Ulyces Underarm   
  Extras 17 
  TOTAL 433 for 4 (50 overs)
Barry Crasie_____________10 0 50 0
Richard Numbnuts________10 0 61 1
Steven Denser____________6 0 72 0
Jonny Thickey_____________9 0 87 0
Alan Dim_________________9 0 75 0
Paul Silliview_____________4 0 53 0
Mike Plonker______________2 0 35 0
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disposablepuppetland
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The DPL team are over the moon after securing their first victory. As one of the minnows in this tournament we never expected to even win a game, but now we have a real chance of reaching the finals!
We would like to invite all the teams down to the beach for a celebratory barbecue and some heavy drinking. We particularly hope the Forthampton team will join us so we can get you so drunk you can't even stand, let alone play Nivogal wish you the best of luck in your next game!
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Leetuania
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Lord
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What a top match between UI and asxtc, edge of the seat stuff
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United Idiocracy
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ECC Group B Match: Forthampton v Nivogal

Forthampton 234-4 (50 overs) lost to Nivogal 236-1 (42.2 Overs) by 9 wickets

Forthampton won the toss and elected to bat on track that looked as if it would offer some assistance to the bowlers, and put together a run-of-the-mill innings, that, although was respectable, failed to ignite a spark, mainly due to some tight Nivogalese bowling, and wickets falling every time it seemed a batsperson was going to hit out. The final total of 234 seemed an easy target for Nivogal.

In their reply, Nivogal were never in any sort of trouble, and never looked like not getting the target. Openers Montoya and Andretti guided Nivogal to within 5 runs of the target when Andretti was beaten for pace by Carole Asher, just 2 runs short of his century. Ingrid Munke knocked a quick single, before Montoya finished the game with a huge six straight over long on.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

Forthampton Innings
Neil Whitehouse ©__________________________b.Marlon 38 
Carole Asher________________________________b.Marlon 34 
Jennifer Fletcher____________________________b.Mancini 38 
Alfred Wigglesbottom (Wk)____________________b.Gaspar 45 
Gregory McAdams____________________________Not Out 27 
Christopher McFarland_________________________Not Out 35 
Abbey Whitley   
Timothy Masterson   
Damian Spencer   
Russel Morgan   
Leonard Cook   
  Extras 17 
  Total 234 for 4 (50 overs)
Luciano Andretti__________10 2 56 0
Richard Meyer___________10 1 63 0
Pierre Marlon____________10 1 64 2
Victorio Mancini__________10 1 42 1
Salvador Esteban Gaspar__10 2 51 1
   
Nivogal Innings
Elena Montoya ©____________________________Not Out 120 
Luciano Andretti______________________________b.Asher 98 
Ingrid Munke________________________________Not Out 1 
Jean Luc Fremonte (wk)   
Richard Meyer   
Pierre Marlon   
Victorio Mancini   
Sigourney Merci Odette   
Salvador Esteban Gaspar   
Fidel Cacahuates   
Giovanni Merius Dante   
  Extras 17 
  Total 236 for 1 (42.2 overs)
Carole Asher____________10 2 47 1
Gregory McAdams________9.2 1 35 0
Christopher McFarland______8 1 52 0
Abbey Whitley____________8 2 49 0
Damian Spencer___________7 1 53 0

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United Idiocracy
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ECC Current Standings

Group A
......................Played.......Won......Tied........Lost.........NR........Net RR..........Pts
Leetuania..............2...........1..........0..............1...........0............4.21..............2
ASXTC....................2...........1..........0.............1.............0...........0.23..............2
UI..........................2...........1..........0..............1............0..........-4.44..............2


Group B
......................Played.......Won......Tied........Lost.........NR........Net RR..........Pts
DPL....................2...........1..........0..............1...........0................0.9..............2
Forthampton......2...........1..........0..............1.............0.............0.77.............2
Nivogal...............2...........1..........0..............1............0..............-1.67............0

(2 pts win, 1pt Tie, 0.5 pts No Result)
In event of tie, places decided on net run rate.

Next Stage fixtures:
Wednesday: Leetuania v Forthampton
Thursday:DPL v ASXTC
Friday: 3/4th place play-off
Saturday: Final
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Leetuania
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Lord
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Right lets hit the nets boys
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Leetuania
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Lord
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Need to get serious now, back to the old avatar.
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Bogans and Boozers
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Leetuania,12 Feb 2008
05:33 AM
Just wasted the last 2 hours of my life trying to hit the bloody ball, when I did it went straight to a fielder, bloody frustrating game this stick cricket.

Any tip bogans?

Use the arrow keys. Generally, stick to pull shots and cut shots.

Fast bowlers: Inswingers pull, Outswingers cut, play as soon as the ball lands on the pitch.

Medium pace: Same as the fast bowler, take your time (it comes down slower).

Spin: Wait for it bounce, play with the direction of the spin.
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United Idiocracy
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ECC Semi Final Match: Leetuania v Forthampton

Leetuania 255-1 (50 overs) beat Forthampton 102-9 (50 overs) by 153 runs

Leetuania won the toss and elected to bat on a pitch which could be described at best as sub-standard, and was expected to deteriorate throughout the day.

Leetuanian openers Acrim and Arminhalf set about putting together a cautious, but none-the-less steady start to the innings, taking very few risks, and were looking to be settling in well until Arminhalf fell to a cracker of a delivery from Carole Asher. More caution was the order of the day as the innings developed in a workmanlike fashion in far from ideal conditions, and the final total of 255 being a fair total.

The Forthampton reply had a massive set-back before it even started. A sudden torrential downpour, which ended as quickly as it began, meant the poor surface was now wet! In incredibly hard conditions, Forthampton did well to see out their overs, particularly when their middle order was ripped apart by a Cantsinge hat-trick, but at the end of the day they were outplayed by the conditions, that and some excellent Leetuanian bowling.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

Leetuania:
Wassi Acrim_________________________Not Out 122 
Cuttis Arminhalf ©____________________b.Asher 32 
Arfa Dozenmarsbars__________________Not Out 96 
Givuss Ahandtalickeracne   
Sunil Havascar   
Mettim Inagaybar   
Gee Whatawankar (wk)   
Asif Heedgivasheet   
Asay Heedgivasheet   
Makka Sabitrusty   
Madona Cantsinge   
  Extras 5 
  Total 255 for 1 (50 overs)
Carole Asher____________10 2 30 1
Gregory McAdams________10 1 41 0
Christopher McFarland_____10 1 60 0
Abbey Whitley___________10 2 66 0
Damian Spencer__________10 0 53 0
   
Forthampton:
Neil Whitehouse ©_________________________b.Heedgivasheet__12 
Carole Asher______________c.Havascar________b.Sabitrusty______21 
Jennifer Fletcher____________________________b.Cantsinge______18 
Alfred Wigglesbottom (Wk)______lbw___________b.Cantsinge_______0 
Gregory McAdams___________________________b.Cantsinge_______0 
Christopher McFarland______c.Whatawankar_____b.Inagaybar_______8 
Abbey Whitley_____________c.Acrim___________b.Cantsinge_______4 
Timothy Masterson_________c.Arminhalf________b.Cantsinge_______7 
Damian Spencer____________________________b.Inagaybar_______3 
Russel Morgan______________________________Not Out__________2 
Leonard Cook_______________________________Not Out_________5 
  Extras 22 
  Total 102 for 9 (50 overs)
Asif Heedgivasheet_______10 7 12 1
Asay Heedgivasheet______10 8 8 0
Makka Sabitrusty_________10 3 34 1
Madona Cantsinge_______10 2 27 5
Mettim Inagaybar_________10 4 22 2

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Leetuania
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Lord
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Woo Hoo,

All those nets have paid off.

Ok boys, there's a final to play, have a beer by all meens but no pedalo's
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asxtc
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Nets!! Nets! Quick get in there and get practicing....it worked for Leetuania and there in the final...If you want to meet them your gonna need to be on top of your game.

Billy Bob and Hira to do more cover driving....i wont have you playing careful for your double centuries...we want runs.

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United Idiocracy
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ECC Semi-Final Match: DPL v ASXTC

DPL 180-3 (21 overs) beat ASXTC 188-5 (50 Overs) by 7 Wickets (D/L Method)

ASXTC won the toss and elected to bat on an average wicket, and quickly found the going quite tough.

The crowd were treated to a fine display of economical bowling, backed up with some truly excellent fielding, as ASXTC found themselves largely unable to get the ball off the square, with the exception of ASXTC's star player of the tournament, Billy Bob Baxter, who showed the rest of his team up with some fine strokes on his way to an impressive 74 not out. Frustration on the part of the ASXTC lead to a succession of cheap wickets being thrown away. The final total of 188 never looked like enough, however, dark clouds were starting to gather around the Crazyley Cricket Ground, and the distant rumble of thunder was apparent. Could rain save ASXTC and force a re-match??

When DPL came out to begin their innings, the umpires had already checked their light meters and decided that play could commence. Straight from the start, DPL seemed intent on securing the victory before the rain came, and immediately launched an onslaught against the ASXTC bowling. For the first 10 overs the ball pinged all over the ground, and there seemed little ASXTC could do about it and the 100 came up in the 9th over. Some control was imposed on DPL when the ball was thrown to Underarm and Baxter, but by the the damage was done, even 3 quick wickets from Baxter could not rectify the situation. During the 21st over lightning started to flash around the ground, and the umpires decided to take the players off. Soon after, the heavens opened, and the game was abandoned, leaving DPL declared winners by the Duckworth-Lewis Method.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

ASXTC
Hira Punn________________________________b.Trent___24 
Prembahahdur Thakali_______c. Teree_________b.Trent___32 
Billy Bob Baxter____________________________Not Out__74 
Mike Hunt __________________lbw___________b.Tanting_24 
Don Key_________________________________b.Cake____4 
Mickey O' Clock___________________________Run Out___13 
Ikant Singh______________________________Not Out___12 
Paul Atriedes   
Hanibal Lactose (wk)   
Chuck Chuck   
Ulyces Underarm   
  Extras 5 
  TOTAL 188 for 1 (50 overs)
Wall Trent______________10 2 42 2
Jah Fortheringdale________10 2 31 0
Danier Tanting___________10 1 44 1
Ainjel Cake______________10 0 38 1
Kati Carlee______________10 1 33 0
   
DPL
Colleedim Friestner________c.Lactose_________b.Baxter_______53 
Jenii Toasty_______________________________b.Baxter______57 
Pearn Hamblee____________________________b.Baxter_______2 
Jont Visturn ©____________________________Not Out_______29 
Wall Trent________________________________Not Out_______32 
Ferry Cottarge   
Jah Fortheringdale   
Danier Tanting   
Ainjel Cake   
Kati Carlee   
Fish Teree (Wk)   
  Extras 7 
  TOTAL 180 for 3 (21 Overs)
Mickey O' Clock____4 0 43 0
Paul Atriedes_____3 0 47 0
Chuck Chuck_____4 0 46 0
Ulyces Underarm__5 0 26 0
Billy Bob Baxter___5 0 18 3
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asxtc
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Oh bugger!

We were all over them...downed by DPL and DLM.

In true sportmanship like tradition...we wish DPL good luck in the final and remember:
Its not the taking part that counts....its the winning.
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Leetuania
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Lord
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Pre match prep begins with curry and chocolate to boost energy levels
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United Idiocracy
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ECC 3rd/4th Play Off: ASXTC v Forthampton

ASXTC 81-0 (20 overs) lost to Forthampton 84-1 (14.2 overs) by 9 wickets.

When the teams arrived at the ICG, they were met with heavy rain. The forecast was for this to continue for most of the day, and so it looked like the play-off would be decided via a bowl-off. It did stop raining, and some incredible work by the ground staff allowed play to commence with little more than 5 minutes to the deadline remaining. The match would be shortened to 20 overs.

Forthampton won the toss and decided the would prefer to chase than set a target, took to the field. The ASXTC innings failed to ignite the spark that is vital in playing short-over games. It looked as if their openers thought they were playing a test match rather than a 20 over game, and Forthampton were set a total of 81.

Forthampton immediately found themselves severly constricted and stratched around to find runs in the first 4 overs, finding themselves on just 15 runs. Next came a crucial decision. Chuck Chuck came on to bowl. His first delivery was short and wide of off-stump, which Friestner shot through extra cover for 4, the same happened to the next two deliveries. His 4th delivery was a long hop, which was despatched for a huge six over cowshot corner. In response, Chuck then went back to the short, wide deliveries. the result was 26 runs off 1 over, and ASXTC's hopes in tatters. Forthampton cruised to a 9 wicket victory.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

ASXTC
Hira Punn_________________________Not Out__45 
Prembahahdur Thakali_______________Not Out__31 
Billy Bob Baxter   
Mike Hunt   
Don Key   
Mickey O' Clock   
Ikant Singh   
Paul Atriedes   
Hanibal Lactose (wk)   
Chuck Chuck   
Ulyces Underarm   
  Extras 5 
  Total 81 for 0 (20 overs)
Carole Asher_____________4 0 17 0
Gregory McAdams_________4 0 21 0
Christopher McFarland______4 0 12 0
Abbey Whitley____________4 0 18 0
Damian Spencer___________4 0 13 0
   
Forthampton
Colleedim Friestner________________b.Atriedes__38 
Jenii Toasty______________________Not Out____18 
Pearn Hamblee___________________Not Out____21 
Jont Visturn ©   
Wall Trent   
Ferry Cottarge   
Jah Fortheringdale   
Danier Tanting   
Ainjel Cake   
Kati Carlee   
Fish Teree (Wk)   
  Extras 7 
  Total 84 for 1 (14.2 Overs)
Mickey O' Clock____2 0 8 0
Paul Atriedes_____3 0 14 1
Chuck Chuck_____1 0 26 0
Ulyces Underarm__4 0 20 0
Billy Bob Baxter__4.2 0 16 0
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asxtc
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What the papers said:

ASXTC's hopes washed out

After qualifying for the finals without breaking into a sweat, hopes were high in the ASXTC camp for a fairytale ending to the England Cricket Cup in UI. The dreams of bringing the England Cup, known as the Yewy after the UICB, back to ASXTC even illicited good luck messages from the President and the ASXTCCB. On Wednesday, Andy the national team manager had already warned his players about falling into a "Test Match" mentality. Whilst some blame the awful weather and some bloke called Duckworth Andy placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of the two openers Prem and Hira.
"..this was the last straw...all of the batsmen had been warned...and when they were told to open up and attack...we had plenty of wickets in hand....i just cant believe the last two matches....ok the rain played a part but that can go both ways...they have both been dropped and the selector now has to find us two quality openers"

The downpour during the Semi-fnal and 3-4th playoff prompted many to question holding such an important cricket event in UI, notorious for its monsoon season. There are even unconfirmed reports that members of the ASXTCCB are calling for the event to he hosted here in ASXTC. "The organisation and structure is is in place but the costing and security might be problem and need to be cleared up before the board can put a bid in" stated Ex Capitan George "googly" Lampshade..."at least it doesnt rain here as much" he went on to say.

The battle for the Yewy does have some ASXTC involvment in that school children from all over England will be performing during the end of tournament spectacular. The final on Sunday is between pre tournament favourites Leetuania, who lost thier opening match to ASXTC and DPL, who also lost on the first day to Forthampton. Many of the ASXTC supporter, known as the Wacky Army who are staying on to watch the final were seen stocking up on umbrellas and sou-westers.
It promises to be a closely and hard fought final.. and a fitting end to a magnificently well organised, but rather wet, event.

Ganga Mc Nullty Sports desk editor
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United Idiocracy
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The England Cricket Cup Grand Final: Leetuania vs DPL

Leetuania 304-6 (34 overs) beat DPL 303-4 (50 overs) by 4 wickets.

On a gloriously warm and sunny day, with no threat of the rain that affected the last two games, DPL won the toss and decided to bat.

Openers Friestner and Toasty gave DPL a firm foundation with an opening partnership of 102 in 27 overs, against some very hostile Leetuanian bowling, however, it seemed that DPL were going to be restricted to a very modest total. Obviously, no-one told this to DPL captain Jont Visturn, who took the attack to the Leetuanian bowlers, scoring 102* off just 63 balls, being ably assisted by all-rounder Wall Trent who chipped in with a quickfire 45, to leave Leetuania 304 to win.

The Leetuanian reply started badly, with captain Arminhalf leaving the field in the first over with a suspected broken hand. Following this, althougth the runs came very quickly, it looked for certain that Leetuania would run out of wickets long before the total was in sight, particularly when Ahandtalickeracne and Havascar were run out in successive overs, both the victim of poor communication finding themselves at the same end as Wassi Acrim.
It was when Acrim was joined by Asif Heedgivasheet that the rot was stopped, and these two took Leetuania to a win and claimed the first England Cricket Cup.

So Congratulations Leetuania. You have proved yourselves as the best team in England. For DPL there were commiserations, but they left with their heads held high, knowing they had started as the rank-outsiders, and left with the respect of all the other nations.

Scorecard:
Quote:
 

DPL Innings
Colleedim Friestner_________________________b.Sabitrusty_____64 
Jenii Toasty_______________c.Acrim__________b.Cantsinge______72 
Pearn Hamblee____________________________b.Cantsinge_____12 
Jont Visturn ©____________________________Not Out________103 
Wall Trent________________c.Whatawankar____b.Inagaybar_____45 
Ferry Cottarge_____________________________Not Out_________2 
Jah Fortheringdale    
Danier Tanting    
Ainjel Cake    
Kati Carlee    
Fish Teree (Wk)    
  Extras 5 
  Total 303 for 4 (50 overs)
Asif Heedgivasheet_______10 0 64 0
Asay Heedgivasheet______10 0 71 0
Makka Sabitrusty_________10 0 52 1
Madona Cantsinge_______10 1 48 2
Mettim Inagaybar_________10 0 68 1
    

Wassi Acrim_________________________________Not Out 139 
Cuttis Arminhalf ©_________________________Retired Hurt 2 
Arfa Dozenmarsbars___________________________b.Trent 22 
Givuss Ahandtalickeracne______________________Run Out 17 
Sunil Havascar_______________________________Run Out 5 
Mettim Inagaybar_____________________________b.Cake 16 
Gee Whatawankar (wk)_______________________b.Carlee 9 
Asif Heedgivasheet___________________________Not Out 82 
Asay Heedgivasheet    
Makka Sabitrusty    
Madona Cantsinge    
  Extras 12 
  Total 304 for 6 (35 Overs)
Wall Trent_______8 0 62 1
Jah Fortheringdale_8 0 71 0
Danier Tanting____8 0 62 0
Ainjel Cake_______6 0 48 1
Kati Carlee_______5 0 53 1
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disposablepuppetland
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Duke
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Congratulations Leet! We just couldn't live with that level of batting.

The success of the DPL team in these games has heralded in new enthusiasm for the game at home, and a number of amateur leagues have been created, including the first ever lawn cricket league (all previous league were for beach cricket). Hopefully the increased level of competition will encourage our top players to play here, rather than leaving for the big money leagues in neighbouring lands.
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Leetuania
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Lord
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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