| You won't trick me, Benji! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 2 2018, 07:24 PM (38 Views) | |
| Seshmaster Sam | Jan 2 2018, 07:24 PM Post #1 |
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The scene opens to a bedroom – but not the flat bedroom we usually see Seshmaster Sam in. No, this one was a lot larger, and looked a lot homelier. That's because this is the bedroom of the home Seshmaster Sam usually resides in – when he's not out drinking with his friends, anyway. The man himself is seen stepping back inaccurately from the camera, which is still a phone camera, but with significantly better quality. He's wearing a nice chequered shirt and some stylish jeans that we've never seen him in before, though the shirt is crumpled and the jeans have beer stains on one leg. Sam brings round the wheelie chair behind him and positions it into roughly the centre of the camera shot, plonking himself down on the chair. He-hey! It's ya boy, the madman himself, the Seshmaster! Yeaaaah, buddy! Check out my fuckin' threads! Yeah, uh, Amy bought them for me for Crimbo, that was super duper nice of her. I kinda feel bad that I only got her chocolates and stuff, but I did also get her a penguin calendar for 2018 and she loooooves penguins so she loved that and it was awesome! But hey, check me out! I won the match against whatsiscreepyface! With a bad wheel an' all! Niiiice. That's uh, that's my first Pay-Per-Thing victory, which is uh, that's pretty cool. I'm hyped. Woo! Like, the Viz guy wasn't there, cause apparently he got mad at the Cult guy cause he just wasn't really that good at things, I guess? Eh, beats me. I mean, like, it doesn't beat me, because I won at Holiday Havoc, like I beat him, if anything, but... ehh, whatever. It's time to move on to bigger! And better! Tings! And what are those tings, that may – or – may – not – go – SKRRRRA? Seshmaster Sam makes a weird motion with his hands and forearms, shaking them violently and sharply in front of his face. Well, I'll, uh, go ahead and tell you! It's er, the Legacy ting! Championship number one contender ting! Alphabet ting! Except for some reason this one only reaches the letter “B” and has to stop there three times. Yes! I'm in this, er, match, and it's undoubtedly the biggest one I've been put in. Like, ever. It's, uh, a pretty big deal, you know? I get a chance to – well sort of – to go for the Legacy title, which would be the first championship I've ever held, and heck to the yes! That would be cool as cool gets. But I er, have a little, erm, roadblock, so to speak, in the way, in the form of the geezer who has three B's in his name. Bad Boy Benji! You've er, made a name for thineself as well in this company, and hey! Fair does, pal. Respect to you for that, it's uh, kinda difficult you know, there's plenty of big dudes that batter you around in this company. But hey. I think it's quite fair to say that you've never faced anybody quite like me. Certainly nobody bring drinks to that thurr ring quite like me, nobody uh, gets it done in the ring like me, it's all a pretty cool deal when I'm around and I like to think... I like to think that er, people misjudge me. They think I'm not that good, cause I drink a lot and I drink in the ring and I drink out of the ring and... I drink pretty much all the time, okay? Okay! But here's the thing. If I don't stop drinking then I'm not gunna get me a hangover, so I won't suffer there. And to be honest, drink is where I get most my energy from. So uhh... yeah. I uh, I'm kind of more of a big deal than people make me out to be, kinda think I slid under the radar of a lot of people here. And it cost 'em! Boy how it cost 'em! Ever since Divided I've been doing nothing but the winning thing, and the winning thing over again, and it's been well good! And I understand that Benjiboy has been tearing up the scene recently too, so I'm keeping my eyes out, in fact... Seshmaster Sam stops and places his left hand over his mouth thoughtfully, using his other hand to massage the top of his head, as if he's trying to bring a memory to the fore. Eventually he clasps said memory, and his right hand shoots up, pointing towards the sky in realisation. Benjiboy! It was you! You eliminininated me in that there tournament at Divided! I knew I could remember that surly look and kind of strange hair from somewhere! Yeeeeah! You tricked me you did! Boy howdy, I'm not gonna stand for that! No way no how you're tricking me into thinking I'm teaming with you! Not in this SINGLES MATCH! Ha-haaa! Betcha didn't think of that when you were gameplanning in your fancy condo or whatever. I can just see you now, writing up your little schemes as to how to trick me into losing this match in some silly shenanigan way. I bet you were there at your table with your A3 piece of paper drawing a spider diagram, lines coming out of it, with one specifically targeting me and saying... Sam puts on a low, dopey accent, typical of a cartoon idiot. “Doiii, I'm gonna make him think he's in a team with me and then I'll let him lay down so I can pin him! Durrr!” Sam snaps back towards the camera with an emotion that can only be described as drunk passion. Well NO! I've got you sussed out, Benji! You're gonna have to scribble through that part of your diagram and put a new line in saying “There's no way to beat him, I better just give up!” Because that'll be easier than coming face to face with the guy who'll go pure drunken shambolic rage all over this place! Tut tut, bad luck, back to the spider-diagram-drawing board for you, pally-o! Thaaat's right. I'll be done with you and then finally be able to turn my attention to the champignonship that I want a piece of! That thurr Legacy Championship, held by the crafty crafterman Nikolai Eclair! Yeeeah, him and his suited and booted manager Ricky Rundletrundle or something. I'm not good with long names. Once I get through to face him, then! Then I'll be able to done show everyone of my doubters, all them people that think that just because I'm constantly in some odd drunken stupor, that I can't still fight against people! I'll be showing them, and I'll show em, I will, I'll... uhh... wha – what was I saying? Sam appears to have genuinely lost his train of thought completely for about ten seconds, before somehow remembering and regaining himself by comically shaking his head side to side rapidly. YEAH! I'll show people that even drunkards can get wins and achieve championship victories inside a wrestling ring! Believe in yourself, even if you have alcohol in your system, believe in yourself! Doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't matter who want to – who wants to have a pop – have a crack at you, er, if you wanna show em that you're better at the punchy-kicky-throwy then show 'em! Go for it! That's what I do, and it's worked for me so far! But yeah, thanks everyone if you do support me, thanks for helping me get this far! You know, I uh, I couldn't have done it without you guys, you're all great support, you make me feel good, and I hope I make you all feel good too! See you around, peeps! Sam rolls his chair slowly and unstably towards the camera, finally reaching it to lean forward and turn it off. |
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10:41 AM Jul 11