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| Ad Nauseum; Humorous non-fiction | |
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| Topic Started: 22 Jul 2008, 05:24 PM (298 Views) | |
 Cameron
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22 Jul 2008, 05:24 PM Post #1 |
Administratinator
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Ad Nauseum These days, everything seems to be dedicated to advertising. There’s ads on the sides of buses and the doors of bathroom stalls. Now, I don’t mind some advertising, and I’ll put up with it if it means I don’t have to pay for things, but it’s getting pretty ridiculous. Take, for example, email. Some services put ads at the bottom of every email you receive based on the content of that email. This means that the spam you now receive has its own little spam at the bottom. They’re breeding! Or telemarketing. Remember when you were sitting down to eat when a total stranger interrupted your meal. You wished the person an agonizing death, but it was an actual person who you could justly swear at and abuse to your heart’s content. Now you’ve got an automated voice program telling you to stay on the line if you want to know about exciting opportunities in the arctic real estate market. Before you had the knowledge that the company was doing its best to personally annoy each and every potential customer. The mechanical touch just isn’t the same. Or consider internet advertising. Remember when all online services were provided for free by nerds with nothing better to do? Not any more. It started with sidebars in advertising. Then came the technology that allowed them to play sound effects if you moved your mouse anywhere near them. With this scientific advancement should have come the ability to play sounds that people actually don’t mind hearing. Instead we get a sci-fi/horror flick: The Thing that Wouldn’t Shut Up. And since the internet allows you to work from anywhere in the world, the odds are slim that the sociopaths responsible for this travesty live with in easy driving distance so you can relay your complaints with a crowbar. And there’s pop-ups, too. The worst are the ones that offer to sell you pop-up blocking software. I know an extortion racket when I see one. And all this hi-tech advertising still doesn’t spare you from the occasional door-to-door salesman. They still come door to door to sell you junk that you can get at a tenth of the price at your local Wal-mart. This is where man’s best friend comes in Salesman: “Hello. How are you-” Me: Hi. I see you’re getting along fine with my dog, Cerberus. Bad boy! No kill. No kill. Salesman: “I was wondering if you’d be interested in--Aiieeee” Me: Yeah, Cerby here hasn’t been the same since he got the taste of human flesh. Salesman: I can come back later when--OW MY SPLEEN! Me: Bye bye now. Using this method will also save you a great deal on dog food as well as keep your lawn and garden free of pesky rodents. To find out more on how modern advertising is ruining society, you can buy my book entitled Advertising in Today’s World available in your local bookstore |
Note that Cameron is not Patrick and does not run Godlimations.
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Blaze
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22 Jul 2008, 09:55 PM Post #2 |
Health: 600/600
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I almost thought that you were serious when you said we could buy your book. That's an example how much we've come to accept advertising. It's quite sad 
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"One day we'll get married. What do you think of that? My best man will be Harry. Your bridesmaid will be your cat!" -Ron Puppet | |
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| ARAZEC | 23 Jul 2008, 10:44 AM Post #3 |
This Person Has No Life
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.........unless of course the book is imformative and helpfull. very good except for the door to door salesman and ending being weak. a bit of an anti-climax- with ur intelligence- i would expect a sophisticated Bang. instead it kinda fizzles out to a cheap grope at an overdone notion prof ARAZAC Grade C- |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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Blaze
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23 Jul 2008, 02:45 PM Post #4 |
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Health: 600/600
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You don't get the ending do you... It's defiantly not weak. Although your grade reminds me of this: 
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"One day we'll get married. What do you think of that? My best man will be Harry. Your bridesmaid will be your cat!" -Ron Puppet | |
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| ARAZEC | 23 Jul 2008, 08:46 PM Post #5 |
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This Person Has No Life
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i dont think i get it totally then the cartoon title is about right for most of the forum topics i know i am a good FEEDBACK communicator though |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| Luemas | 16 Jan 2009, 06:01 PM Post #6 |
All ur Walrus R belong to Me
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I personally found the ending humurous, although it was mainly because i was still laughing from the Cerberus. |
 Vote for Lue to make Sad Panda... Happy Panda?  | |
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Cameron
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16 Jan 2009, 11:37 PM Post #7 |
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Administratinator
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I liked that name for a guard dog. |
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Note that Cameron is not Patrick and does not run Godlimations.
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| Luemas | 18 Jan 2009, 10:18 PM Post #8 |
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All ur Walrus R belong to Me
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Who wouldn't? I mean a three headed mythical demon dog that guards the gate to Hades? I'm gonna get another dog just to name it that. If only my dad didn't have a thing against animals... |
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Vote for Lue to make Sad Panda... Happy Panda? | |
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Cameron
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20 Jan 2009, 08:02 PM Post #9 |
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Administratinator
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It's best if it's a Doberman or other guardish dog. |
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Note that Cameron is not Patrick and does not run Godlimations.
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