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| How did u find GOD or how did GOD find u ?; ARAZEC'S for mature auidiences..... | |
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| Topic Started: 22 Sep 2008, 10:48 AM (1,619 Views) | |
| ARAZEC | 22 Sep 2008, 10:48 AM Post #1 |
This Person Has No Life
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Once upon a long long time ago....... Their was this young girl she was very athletic and accomplished at all sorts of sport she loved training and being outdoors. But you see this young girl developed really quickly and looked a lot older than she really was. This attracted all sorts of attention and very soon this young girl made friends with the older kids and was accepted by them. On her first day of High School (13yrs) she was asked out on a date by a Year 12 boy (18yrs) Anyway although she declined it sort of set the stage for disaster as a certain noteriety evolved which she didnt dispute and although she was not promiscuous and really rather shy she enjoyed what she mistook as respect from her peers. Inside she craved admiration and significance and longed to be told she was O.K because at home it was a different storey. get real as if im gonna start you all barely talk to me now ! Edited by ARAZEC, 22 Sep 2008, 11:17 AM.
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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 Santa Fe
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27 Sep 2008, 12:58 PM Post #2 |
Alcove Puppetmaster
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You know their is a book that's very similiar to that.Did you say something at the bottom?, I didn't really pay attention to it as now I usually don't pay attention to a lot of things you post here. |
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I say nay, therefore I am I am what brings yaysayers to their demise and force them to submit to demands of MINE OWN! Therefore, logic of nay is the hope that brings light and also forthcomes with devastation yay, because who decided hate was better than purity? Who decided purity was better than hate? | |
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| ARAZEC | 1 Oct 2008, 05:41 AM Post #3 |
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This Person Has No Life
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 if there is a book very similar to the begginning of my testimony maybe someones done a biography that i am certainly not recieving any royalties for...... anyways.... at home we were what i now know as a dysfunctional family.(in fact i cant say i have really met a family that isnt ) i guess as you grow up you just accept your culture at home,and then dont really question it as how it takes part in forming your personality and how you make sense of the world around you. you see i would describe my childhood as happy and i cant say anything really tramatic occurred its just that my mum was very controlling and domineering and my father very passive. my mum loved us a ton but she was also a continious voice in the background in fact an endless drone of criticism not intentially i am sure but let me say there are power in words spoken over you. like she would constantly be ordering you around as soon as you walked in the door there would be 4 or 5 barked commands eg-take your shoes off put them here NOT THERE here ! you never listen have you taken your school shoes off ? you always forget see if i dont tell you you always forget and make sure you take off your uniform your such a grub girls are supposed to be clean and carefull your always gonna be a grub.....on and on she would go......for me i kind of just tuned out so after a while i didnt hear what she said id get home from school and start to shoot goals in the back yard.i would be out there for hours and hours just shooting goals, for a bit of variety i would throw the ball againest the wall on an angle and run and catch it on the rebound.then i progressed to making myself a training schedule i would get cans of pal (thats dog food) and use them as weights (this is starting to sound like a rocky movie) anyway it was an escape that i enjoyed and as i went on with it i started to visualize myself jumping up really high and catching a rebound i would play the scene in my head over and over and it was enjoyable the crowd would cheer and i would feel good and speacil and admired.......... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 6 Oct 2008, 04:32 AM Post #4 |
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This Person Has No Life
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anyway this is getting to be a really long testimony....... and i am considering whether to do the long or the short version......... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 16 Oct 2008, 03:54 PM Post #5 |
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This Person Has No Life
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o.k where was i ? oh the yep well pretty much the world was my oyster and life was all about one thing FUN which is O.K expcept for the anywhere anytime bad attitude i had soon my self centred life posed a couple of problems 1. most of the people i had around me had the same selfishness 2 .I started to think everyone in the world was out for themselves 3. I started to think to make it in life looks,power and money were the things i needed for a happy life well you just had to look at the evidence from the world we live in right? advertising,fashion magazines,movies all the stuff around me left me pretty much of the opinion thats what i should strive for in life to be happy and it worked...........................for a while............. |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 18 Oct 2008, 03:58 AM Post #6 |
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This Person Has No Life
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what ? i just read the bit about not paying attention to a lot of things i post here lol same but i just missed what you wrote....... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 24 Oct 2008, 05:40 AM Post #7 |
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This Person Has No Life
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o.k forget it.......  now where was i ......circa high school...... yep well anyway i travelled a bit with my sport around the country and to overseas New Zealand (yah it was a bit deal) and life was good. i was at school and my mum & i were kinda at odds in the wardrobe department so i got a weekend job at Pizza Hut speacil delivery every weekend i would get the lock-up shift till 1pm. i met a whole new bunch of people and we had a great time making our speaciliality Super Supreme pizzas by wiping the bench and hiding in the cool room from our adolecent manager a couple of the drivers were "churchies" they were always bugging for me to go to "youth" but it just wasnt my kind of thing they were pretty cool and would bring their guitars in at the end of the night and sit and play and sing stupid songs while we scraped the left over pan pizzas into the trash (it was summer so we would make sure to throw the dough near the edge of the bin so the day shift would come in to see the stuff growing over the edge) one of the church guys dads was a driver too and he insisted on driving me and another girl home everynight-you cant let those young boys drive you home-he would say so each late shift we wouldget a lift and all the way home we would laugh & he would ask us about school.real interested in our lives.....he would call us "his girls" and warn all the guys to not even think about it when it came to us. he took on the protective father role and we were just like one big family. He had a daughter our age and everyone would hang out or meet at work sometimes we would have BBQ'S over at their house too...... we would always kiss each other hello and goodbye it was just our way...... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 25 Oct 2008, 07:15 AM Post #8 |
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This Person Has No Life
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 well then i met this boy........... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 28 Oct 2008, 07:34 AM Post #9 |
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This Person Has No Life
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 28 Oct 2008, 07:38 AM Post #10 |
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This Person Has No Life
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 28 Oct 2008, 08:12 AM Post #11 |
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This Person Has No Life
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well he was DUX of his high school plus school captain plus he could sing,act,write poetry plus he was funny,charming,good looking he was D E E P and a really,really nice person and he had absouletely no interest in me ! and then i made mistake number 1- You know those type of girls-everyone knows one-every school,workplace,church -their the type of girl that as soon as you are interested in someone-they go for them-you know the type,its something to do with making them feel good about themselves or a conquest -lets call her tanya merrick well i told her I had a major thing for this guy and yep i invited her along to a party with me and yep who should i see snogging him AT THE PARTY? ON A TRAMPOLINE ? YEP -you guessed right ! and then i made mistake number 2- (the consequences of this i lived but the signifigance of what i actually did to myself i learned much,much later) I MADE A VOW the vow i made was to myself i vowed that no matter what i wouldnt let a guy reject me again BIG DEAL you might be thinking its only words......anyway vows can be powerfull AND dangerous things....but thats a whole other topic-in fact that can be a whole retreat (renouncing vows,generational curses blah,blah,blah) Anyway in the end I got the guy,yes he found the error of his ways got to know me,fell in love with me we started dating (courting whatever) then he gets this job offer across the country his whole family is moving over (i am still at school) he tells my parents he wants to marry me,take me to live with his parents and let me finish school-of course i am devestated because like even though my whole family loved him and approved of him (even my Grandmother!!!!god rest her soul) there was NO WAY i would ever,ever be allowed to do something like that............... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 28 Oct 2008, 03:56 PM Post #12 |
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This Person Has No Life
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so as you can imagine i was so sad thinking my life was OVER The Christian guitar playing guys kept trying to get me to go to "Youth" on Friday nights it was held in some hall somewhere. I was always under the impression that Youth was a place kids that were not allowed to go out went to.......but these guys were allowed to go anywhere they wanted but chose to go there.I just didnt understand that. I gave it a shot. I hated it. I felt so out of place-I remember thinking to myself "why are these people pretending to be so good?" and while most of it was a social thing we read "the bible"-now i had never opened a bible IN MY LIFE sure my family were "christian" we went to church on all the "important" occasions like Christmas,Easter,weddings-(mainly due to my nana-god rest her soul) no confession,no piroji. My grandma had occupied the same pew in that church for years she guarded it like a bull-dog and although she never learnt to read or write she clutched that brown withered paged bible and rosary beads and prayed like night and day. So my idea of church and God was basically that he was happy with me because i was in the building-well you could hardly blame me-i couldnt understand a word because it was all in Polish (we lived in Australia) and although i could easily have a conversatian in the language -I couldnt understand a word of the service. It was all kneel,stand,sit,kneel again,stand,stand some more,sit........and then the big highlight everyone going out the front for confession-finally !!! something interesting- "my shes put on weight" "mmmm i knew that altarboy had new nike shoes under those robes" Yes,sad but true these were my thoughts as I watched the procession and waited for my turn to get me some of that wafer...... then my thoughts turned to..... "to stick out the tongue or to clasp the hands?" "wonder which one God would be happier with?" Five,four,three........better make up my mind......only two people in front.....now one......its almost my turn...... GOT IT as i made my way back to my seat after a quick kneel at the altar and with the body of christ sticking to the top of my mouth I wondered what i should pray about while kneeling as the wafer turned a little sweet and then dissapeered. Well thats an accurate and truthfull account of my relationship with god at the time. Thats not to say Catholic Church isnt right or wrong-i know many Catholics that are not in the same mindset or relationship with God -but thats where i was at at the time. So back to my situation and losing "the love of my life"............. You wont beleive what happened next...................... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 30 Oct 2008, 06:17 AM Post #13 |
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This Person Has No Life
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you remember the older man that was a driver at pizza hut and "adopted" Tammy and I and drove us home after each lock-up? well one night he was giving us a lift home.We dropped off Tammy first and like he always did was asking us about our lives and of course this night the conversation was all about the fact the love of my life was leaving blah,blah,blah so there was a lot to talk about. around the corner from my house he actually pulled over to the side of the road so we could continue talking which went on for a long time and i remember thinking that it was getting really late but i was really in need of someone to listen and help i guess so i prattled on for a while before saying we better get going. Then he pointed to his cheek motioning me to kiss him - I was so gratefull to him for listening i didnt think twice to lean over and give him a goodbye peek on the cheek like we always did - When all of a sudden he turned his head so my kiss landed straight on his mouth !!! YUCK as i am writing this i get a shiver because i can still remember the feel of his bristly moustashe GROSE,YUCK,VOMIT i was so stunned and shocked i just recoiled back in my seat and he started the car and drove off and then just started talking like NOTHING HAD JUST HAPPENED !!!!! We were not far from my home and i was just sitting there frozen not saying anything and starting to second guess what just happened because i couldnt beleive it and he was just going on like normal-the drive home seemed like eternity even though we were just around the corner.......... |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 2 Nov 2008, 02:24 AM Post #14 |
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This Person Has No Life
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warning People if anything like this ever happens to you make sure you tell someone......your parents,a teacher etc.... because i didnt. I was so disgusted and shocked I didnt say anything to anyone ! I just never went back to work there again. So this slimeball got off the hook and who knows how many other people he gained their trust and then moved in on-I wish i did tell someone but i didnt -I was too grossed out and embarrassed at the time to think of what he might of done to others.........or even me....... You can say I was lucky he didnt do anything worse or that I was young and stupid or what were my parents thinking???? but truth is creeps like this are speacilists at gaining peoples trust and its more than likely through years of practise and never being found out-so dont make the same mistake I did Make sure they face the consequences and you will be helping others in a big way. |
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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| ARAZEC | 11 Nov 2008, 04:20 AM Post #15 |
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Well then you can imagine how I felt -miserable- I spent the next day cryyyyying in my room Then my mum did a very strange thing......... (remember my mum the constant nagger,my biggest critic,the droner who's negative coments haunted me from sun-rise till night) she came in my room sat on the edge of the clothes strewn bed and said....... "wait 3 months and see how things turn out over there and if you want to go you can go"  WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT !!! SAY THAT AGAIN DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT DID YOU JUST SAY I COULD GO? YOU MEAN MOVE ?MOVE OVER THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY? ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WAIT 3 MONTHS ? MUM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
Edited by ARAZEC, 15 Nov 2008, 08:27 AM.
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OTTOR never BE SORRY | |
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8:30 PM Nov 27
