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| Cockroach infestation.; What's the best approach for new people? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 19 May 2009, 11:06 AM (3,196 Views) | |
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19 May 2009, 11:06 AM Post #1 |
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A man's life is changed by a dare
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So I was serving coffee at tonight's youth service, while the social crowd formed their predictably favored groups as usual. I noticed in front of me a new girl (quite pretty) who didn't seem to find her way around too well. Suddenly, BANG, one guy over here, another guy over there, and the next thing you know, she is bombarded by 3-4 guys chatting her up. Is there something wrong with this picture? Where are the women to introduce themselves to this new girl? I spoke to one of the leader girls and she said "Well how do you know she didn't come with a guy?" And I responded "No I don't know, I have no idea" I should have asked what the relevance was, she was still a new face, and later found out she did come on her own. Here's a history of our youth church. The guys have no such luck with their obnoxious and freaking weird stalker personalities, quite a few I can think who are gay, or have an emasculate flamboyance. A close friend of mine always claims at least 3 cockroaches that stalk her every youth night. Another close friend brainstormed a list of "eye candy" men. She ended up with a blank page. My own sister has dozens of stories about all the stalkers she met in church. So I refer this pile as "leftovers". Yeah, I'm all heart I know. Not only these maggots have been dwelling in church grounds for years, but they'd be willing to compromise a chat to the new girl. What the hell!? It's a risk both parties put themselves in with their relationship with God. The devoted Christian may slide back because this new hot chick is giving you attention. And the new girl may lose that opportunity with Christ because some dufas Christian guy becomes her idol. The idea may seem farfetched, though I have seen a lot of farfetched occurrences throughout my Christian experiences. Yes, I'm talking about unequally yoked relationships. You see it everyday. "Yeah but Patrick, it's a friendly chat, no harm done" Yeah, if you want to be politically sound. Well done. Both genders should be introduced by its own. This SIMPLE solution can wipe out this entire argument and forever I'll shut up about it ![]() Questions, comments, queries? |
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Luemas
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19 May 2009, 07:10 PM Post #2 |
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DELICIOUS!
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:O YOU CURSED?!?! No just kidding. Sometimes I feel the sameeeee way. Have you read Lord Honorable Awesomeface Godzillas poem about a similar context? The sheep in wolfs clothing. I can think of people who come to church, but come for some reason other than God. It's really not that uncommon. Every church has some people like that... and your church is huuuuuge. So its even more fold likely to occur in your church. I'm surprised I'm talking about this considering I'm so young. BUUUT, those men aren't going to get anywhere, and you, being an honorable Christian adult should approach, and criticize them for their dishonorable and shameful behavior to a woman. Paul put it in a way that would make them feel really uncomfortable. Think of the younger women as their sisters. And think of the older women as their mothers. Watch their faces contort in disgust as they think about what they were thinking about, and put- ok you get the point. Never going back to that line again. |
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably. | |
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| Afalstein | 19 May 2009, 07:18 PM Post #3 |
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Mountain Gnome
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That's an interesting question. I must say I haven't quite considered that point. My church has something of an opposite problem, the older generation usually greats the newcomers before we do, and then the guys are especially shy. But I can recognize the symptoms of what you're talking about. There's always the danger of viewing church as a social event, about it being solely about the people in the church. That part is important--fellowship of the saints and all that--but too often it takes precedent. And if the person is not very closely interested in the doctrine that is being preached, I can see it becoming an especial problem. The social can easily overshadow the spiritual. But perhaps the men merely thought they were being friendly and welcoming. After all, it is very natural for guys to instantly jump on the new girl. It's in their nature and all that. And in this case, it's easy to back it up as "the right hand of fellowship." They're trying to make the newcomer feel welcome (and at the same time trying to get to know the hot chick). You could say they don't have the patience to wait for the other girls to introduce her. But as for the problem of gay/stalking parishoners, that's a different issue. It's not particularly the fault of the guys that they're not "eye candy," but perhaps your friend is more concerned about the lack of masculine attributes, both in terms of personality and judgment (not just appearance). That seems to be the thrust of your own post in complaining about the stalkers. There's a great deal of confusion these days about what exactly it means to be a man. The classic model is largely mocked in today's media, and the image of the dumb, inept boyfriend/husband can be seen in as nearly as many places as the intrusive, sickening flirt. Men are no longer supposed to be strong, firm-minded decisive men, they're supposed to be sensitive and meek. Those aren't bad attributes, but a number of people take them too far. Hence the "gay" and "stalker" people. I'm not sure if that addresses your question or not. |
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"Evil Triumphs when Good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke | |
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Luemas
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19 May 2009, 07:36 PM Post #4 |
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DELICIOUS!
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I think a man should be nice, but know when to put his foot down. We shouldn't be powerhaulics, but humble, as clearly stated in the word, but we also wield the rod! Mainly for discipline. You get the rod! Ok that sounds kinda wrong... |
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably. | |
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19 May 2009, 08:25 PM Post #5 |
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A man's life is changed by a dare
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You're right Afalstein. Some of the guys are actually gay though, as in, I just got picked up by one of them last week, extremely awkward. And great advice Luemas, I've already confronted a few of these people. Unfortunately they took offense to it. The ignorance...
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Godzilla
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19 May 2009, 08:53 PM Post #6 |
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What is green...scaly...breathes flame...and has spikes?
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Thanks for mentioning it Lue..I was beginnigng to think no one had read it. Anyways, are church youth group is divided into 2 main groups Jr High(Gr 5-8 [ages 9-14]) and Sr High (Gr9 and 10 [ages 14 - 16] and GR 11 and 12 [ages 16- 19]). We all have small group meeting on Tuesday nights. We each go with our respectable groups: Jr High Sr high yg. Sr high old. We each go to different houses (Pastors houses and leaders), and then once we get their guys and girls can chat it up for 15 minutes whilst everyone arrives and the youth pastors get ready. Once we begin, we all are moved into the living room Pastor Andrew says some announcements and we talk to him for about 5 minutes. Then guys and grils divide into seperate rooms. After that we do the same as before chat it up for about 15-30minutes before getting picked up and the pastors pack up. I have been going to the church for 3 months now. On my first or second service Pastor Andrew noticed I was a new youth, impressive considering our church has over 800 people. He invited me out to youth night and small groups. On my first small group meeting Paastor Andrew and one of the male leaders introduced me to all the guys after that I was introduced to the girls. Pastor Andrew old me before hand the riules Including no flirting with the girls. I keep my discussions in a church manner...if I wanted to be crude I would talk to the girls at school. Everyone is friendly and we are monitered by church leaders almost at all times. And pastors and leaders alike weed out any cockroaches from the groups. Needless to say our church group is very well organised. And new members are bnever left unnoticed, they are ALWAYS introduced by their respective gender and a leader. I think your pastors need to step up and weed these people out. Or at least sit down and talk to them. Your pastor should also talk to youth management if you are having those kind of problems. Honestly GAY members, I have some issues with gay people. but the fact that they congregate at a church youth service to hook up. That is unacceptable. |
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http://godzilla725.deviantart.com/ "Rest, prepare, cry in the corner...whatever you do before a mission, only do it quietly." ~ Malik (Assassin's Creed) "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." ~ A. Whitney Brown When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. | |
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| Afalstein | 20 May 2009, 09:49 AM Post #7 |
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Mountain Gnome
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Ha, the ad at the bottom says "Affordable Roach Control: Get advice from the Roach experts with a free evaluation." Good advice all round, looks like. Didn't really think of seriously gay people IN the youth group. Doesn't really seem like their kind of thing. Especially for hookups... what are they thinking? A church youth service and gays going there to find hookups? I thought they were always complaining about how intolerant Christians are, why are they going... never mind. One thing I would like to add, though, is that we are also encouraged to marry within the church, or at least not to marry unbelievers. "Not be unequally yoked" and all that sort of thing. You all probably know that, but I just wanted to clarify that after the "younger woman as sisters" post. Marriage in the church is commendable. Flirting during time reserved for God is not. |
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"Evil Triumphs when Good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke | |
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Luemas
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20 May 2009, 08:41 PM Post #8 |
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DELICIOUS!
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Yeah Pat, people are shallow, and usually in the wrong, thinking they're always right. But hey, I'm always right so... But then theres my sister who literally is always Wright. Bad pun Bad pun... And Godzilla... HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT I HAVE NOT READ YOUR MOST HONORABLE AND COMMENDABLE POETRY! I, LUEMAS 9001 HAVE READ EVERY POST ON THIS FORUM! Except for the forum games.... Yay for me! ![]() But seriously, your pastor needs to say something about that. And if they get angry and upset tell them. Tough, thats what the Bible says, and I'm not here to please everybody. Paul actually says if you please everybody, you be doing something wrong. Yeah, that probably was something obvious and not needed to be said, especially considering how I don't know what your youth pastor/pastor relationship is in a church of that magnitude. Oh and GZ, thats it. Thats your new name. GZ. Anyhow thats kinda how my youth group is, its split like that, but my church happens at the church, we all get there about the same time and then we have announcements, and we split up, junior high, and senior high, which the senior high split up into boy and girl and they have a lesson. Longest run on sentence ever! |
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably. | |
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22 Jun 2009, 06:30 PM Post #9 |
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Zanica Knight
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Those men (some) may have been corrupted by the thoughts of sexual pleasures, however your heart is in the right place as long as your not a man who thinks of a woman by her "hotness" and by their personality. I'm not exactly 101% sure on what your sister means about cockroaches though, unless...eww. |
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"So maybe we could see each other one day, like by travel,"the girl said. "Well I know my mom won't let me,you shouldn't have to,"I said "Don't worry I can do it,"she replied "Are you sure, cause if your not sure, then I'm not sure, and if I'm not sure that means we're both not sure, and if were both not sure then I don't know how this is going to work,"I said. "Don't worry sweet, I'm sure,"she replied "Your sour?! Now I really don't know if this will work out,"said Joseph. | |
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| Deleted User | 23 Jun 2009, 05:46 PM Post #10 |
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Deleted User
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We had Sy Rogers at our church recently-he is a man that nearly under went a sex change operation before getting saved a couple of days before (whats the thing about God never being late ? !) He lived as a gay man and even dressed in womens clothing attended a "christian" church for gay ppl and thought he was really living for God. i his story tells as you can imagine of a lot of heart ache and struggle and thats beginning at childhood but some of the most disturbing hurts come from with-in the church. we mere mortals judge and label but the God we serve sees no "Coakroaches" or "gay" ppl. he sees a hurting humanity of lost and wandering sheep. yes,the bible says confront,yes the bible says those things with pre-conditions. i wonder what our churches would be like if we studied more about how to "love" one another rather than point out,get annoyed,label,be disturbed and expel weakness. the greatest commandment needs study and meditation. Our own dysfunctional notation of love based on our own experiance-to love biblically is a lifelong pursuit and journey and if you think you have it summed up in a nutshell i urge that you think again. how to love a cockroach? how to love the person who acts on the imediate visual sensual images and thoughts? how to love someone at youth group with the wrong motives? how to love the ignorant,the ugly,the bad? its not a statement "oh i love the person but not the sin" then run like hell or point to leaders to deal with it or to ignore or deny or to just accept everything..... i beleive we are called to make an effort - to start reading,understanding and working to be the light of the world. everything we face every step we tread every challenge every awkwardness why does that come? well just maybe,maybe its an opportunity for God to use you to showcase his majesty and turning everything around for good. |
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Luemas
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26 Jun 2009, 05:28 PM Post #11 |
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DELICIOUS!
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So in other words. When you see a guy hitting on a girl and being abrasive with her, tell him to take it easy? No wait. I don't know. |
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably. | |
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| Deleted User | 27 Jun 2009, 07:42 PM Post #12 |
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Deleted User
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what i am saying is look at the circumstances that confront you and think of Nehemiahs tactics in rallying people to rebuild the temple walls. Each person was to rebuild the part of the wall in front of his own home,guareenteing that the wall will be built strong and beautifull. own the circumstance,do your part and prepare to build (people that are in your face/right in front of you) -make sure you set the example yourself (like Nehemiah not receiving his own salary as governor ('cause all the ppl were being taxed way too much) do your bit they rebuilt those walls in 52 days thats saying something to us dont you think? |
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Luemas
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27 Jun 2009, 09:03 PM Post #13 |
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DELICIOUS!
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I think I read nehemiah too fast when I read it... But I still need to read Psalms and all that... |
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably. | |
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| Deleted User | 29 Jun 2009, 08:39 PM Post #14 |
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not necessarily the living word of God remember is really alive-you can read and study it your entire life and it will always reveal something to enlarge/grow you -if u r willing. |
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Luemas
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30 Jun 2009, 09:22 AM Post #15 |
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DELICIOUS!
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My bible was a casualty of a water fight at my church. I buried out in my back-yard like I was told to. |
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably. | |
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