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| Letter to the People | |
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| Topic Started: 9 Jun 2009, 05:29 AM (61 Views) | |
 Godzilla
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9 Jun 2009, 05:29 AM Post #1 |
What is green...scaly...breathes flame...and has spikes?
  ![]](http://209.85.117.197/static/1/pip_r.png)
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Dear People, These are the words that make you or break you 'You will never amount to anything' it rings in my ears almost every day. I don't remember who said it, maybe the much older school bully I believed at the time. The words and things people said to me at such a young age meant everything to me. And that decided the way I lived my life at the time. I eventually learned how to block out what people said to me. It was too late people had engraved the meaningful words into my heart and soul. I don't even remember who most of the people are. They are now but faint images in my mind, dissolving away, they are the fizz in pop they come around for short times but leave a residue. A stain on that person, they leave a residue in the pop, a residue in your life. Although they started it, half of it was self inflicted damage, self doubt. Through low self esteem I engraved that into myself like a razor slicing down into soft skin with my muse. The words cut into me bleeding out my personality. I am what some would call a social recluse, I have no issues socially I just like it that way. But I don’t care what ‘some’ say, I live by my rules and I live under selected authority. The people I allow into my life, the people that have earned my respect. After the initial contact I avoid people like a mouse near a cat. I don't even dare my self to move close, I know nearing the problem is trouble waiting to happen. I have troubles getting close to new people. I have troubles expressing my emotions. A great woman once said, “Not all people are bad, most people are good and mean well. You just have to decide for yourself who is good and who is bad. Use your judgment wisely. Know who to judge, know who to respect, know for yourself the real truth.” I try to use her advice to help me cope with all the sick and twisted minds out there. Words like that from mentors help me cope with my growing paranoia and my lack of sanity. I have resentment towards my family. My loving parents I will love you back forever. I am left alone in the dark from my siblings. They stand so tall like they are so great and noble when they are really as filthy and low down as peasants. Sure you showed love in times when I already felt good. But what about showing love when I need it most. You expect me to feel sorry for your mistakes, you caused the problems to occur now fix them. It isn’t like somebody else put this on you, you initiated it. You drew first blood with sin. Now deal with it. For the grandparents who never came, birthday upon birthday I sit and wait for grandpa to come say something but I never really meet him. Sure you live far away, maybe a phone call? My mom’s ex-husband shows me more love than the half blood (As they call me whilst being introduced) brother and sister show me. To the grandma who never cared because I wasn’t native skinned enough for her, and because she doesn’t give a fuck about my father. This is the resentment in my heart to most, the people. This is my letter of forgiveness to you the people. You made me who I am today, your critiques your harsh words. The words that changed my life, the words I look back to when I think I can’t finish. I have learned to remove not from my dictionary because of you. Through years of suffering and year’s pain, hurt, and all my lost tears, I forgive you. I can’t hold a grudge forever; this is the only phrase I will use “can’t” in. To the family that never showed up, I forgive you for your wrongdoing, your resentment towards me. I am the abandoned brother, you know mom loves you more so don’t try and put it on me and act like you had it so hard. Although you never beat me physically as siblings you beat me emotionally my whole life. I forgive you. To the grandparents who didn’t show, I don’t care about the lost presents and the happy birthdays. Please accept my dearest forgiveness people family and friends for I am realizing now that all the horrible things that anyone has ever done to me has made me the person I am today. Sincerely, Jonah Mullen |
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http://godzilla725.deviantart.com/ "Rest, prepare, cry in the corner...whatever you do before a mission, only do it quietly." ~ Malik (Assassin's Creed) "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." ~ A. Whitney Brown When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl. | |
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7:31 AM Nov 27
