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Wake Up
Topic Started: 17 Nov 2009, 11:18 PM (30 Views)
cheesebug 17 Nov 2009, 11:18 PM Post #1
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Ultimate Threadkiller
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 Here's a short story that I literally wrote in less than five minutes for a late homework assignment. I decided it was pretty readable for homework, so here it is.
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Posted Image
At Wendy's one day...
My bud to cashier: Hey can I have some ranch?
(dude hands her some ranch packets)
Me-OH THANK YOU ALMIGHTY RANCH GIVER!

My mother to my bro-You need to find a nice girl and settle down. An Italian girl! And no Sicilians! If I find out you’re marrying a Sicilian I’ll beat you to death with my slippers!

VOT FOUR CHEESAY, SHEES GUD AT SPELING!
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Concolor 18 Nov 2009, 05:51 AM Post #2
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Death
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 Wow, that was really cool! I'm impressed cheezy :D

I really like how you use "But it was just a dream." not only to establish a central theme, but also to use it as a eh...an "indicator of things to come" (the Norwegian word is "frampek", I don't know the English one). At first I was really confused by the first chapter as a kind of breaking of the fourth wall, but I really think it worked well with the ending making it a full circle.

I really think it has a lot of depth and meaning. My favorite part is the one I find to me the most enigmatic (like a riddle one does not have the answer to) is "The main character is falling, and finally, she realizes who she really is." Cool :)
Posted Image All hail the new emperor!
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