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HELPZ!; what the hey?
Topic Started: 18 Jan 2010, 09:56 PM (428 Views)
cheesebug
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Ultimate Threadkiller
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okay, for some reason i just jotted down this-

I crouched behind a dumpster in the dark, stalking my protection, five yards away. The rain hit my face, dampening my hair, darker than the sky. The sun was out, but it was so far away at the moment, covered by black clouds that the hungry sea reflected, turning it into a dark, damp killer.
"Honestly, relax." whispered Roc beside me, shivering. He had to push out his words, "It's right there. Go get it. Remember, when we were little and we played that game where we stole each other's flags? That's your flag. Go get it back."
I held myself in my arms and shivered along with Roc. He was right, this was almost a game. But if I were to mess up........both of us would be dead.

where should i go w/ it? i has a confuse....
http://masochistic-goddess.tumblr.com/poetry
"You will hear thunder and remember me,
and think: she wanted storms."
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cheesebug
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Ultimate Threadkiller
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Nobody has an idear?
http://masochistic-goddess.tumblr.com/poetry
"You will hear thunder and remember me,
and think: she wanted storms."
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Concolor
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Barabbas
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What's the background, or is that something that the story will show as it goes along?
Life is beautiful, love heals, people come through.

Reason, compassion and love comes first. Everything else is secondary. Except for Skittles. - And emperor Cheezy! Posted Image
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cheesebug
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second option
http://masochistic-goddess.tumblr.com/poetry
"You will hear thunder and remember me,
and think: she wanted storms."
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Concolor
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Barabbas
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Well you're starting in medias res (right in the action) so perhaps as the main is bolting towards the whatnot, she could have some kind of flashback to another time. It would perhaps not be the most original solution but that would at least allow you to explore a little bit of the depth in your character, and perhaps you'll find something inside her to inspire more of the contemporary story. Perhaps her past swill show whether she will reach the thingamajig or get caught, or what she will do afterward or perhaps how she feels about the situation she is in.

I don't know, I'm just throwing some random stuff out there. :)
Life is beautiful, love heals, people come through.

Reason, compassion and love comes first. Everything else is secondary. Except for Skittles. - And emperor Cheezy! Posted Image
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Midst Of Vampy
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Barabbas
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I don't have crap,but I really like it.Roc is a character in a book I am reading,but your story seems better so far. :thumbs:
TIMEY-WHIMEY SKITTLES!
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Luemas
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DELICIOUS!
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I think it should be a tribal story... set in modern times... about a main protag who "defiled" the sacrifice to dragon/ceo/president of something.
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I think I'm Crazzzy. I think your crazy. I think your crazzzy... probably.
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cheesebug
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oooooh thats nice....and thanks for the comp, vamp. ;) i see we both have our own stuff as sigs ;)
http://masochistic-goddess.tumblr.com/poetry
"You will hear thunder and remember me,
and think: she wanted storms."
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Midst Of Vampy
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Barabbas
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cheesebug
13 Apr 2010, 08:12 PM
oooooh thats nice....and thanks for the comp, vamp. ;) i see we both have our own stuff as sigs ;)
:D no problem
TIMEY-WHIMEY SKITTLES!
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