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Walking in the Light; -open-
Topic Started: Feb 20 2008, 04:44 PM (644 Views)
Merlin Ambrosius
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"see the way you hang you head shows me it was no real murder it had to be an accident, you are no murderer Shalimar, accidents happen, we can not blame ourselves I have seen so many, and been involved in a few, I once saved a guy from throwing himself off a building he went on two kill three little girls, I still cant forgive myself, I did catch the guy and he got what he deserves"he told her honestly a small scar visible on his hand from were another mage had tried to help the guy.

Merlin smiled and he laughed softly looking her in the eyes "no it didnt bother me, you can do it all you like, I didnt mean it as a bad thing, I just meant no one has ever done it before, we all have that little habit that we can't control for me its my appearance I can change it at will or it changes with my thoughts, depending on what I am thinking"he explained honestly still smiling warmly "Tanith has gotten me out of so many scrapes and vice versa, we are like two peas in a pod, the problem is when a mage dies so does the familiar, it is sad really, unlike if a familiar dies, but the mage will always feel the loneliness without them, she can change form, though seeing as my power enables it, but I prefer cats, so she keeps me happy."he admitted chuckling as Tanith just nodded and yawned
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Shalimar Fox
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"It really was not my fault..I had little control over it. It is sad to say but it is the truth. I never wanted it to happen and I shall always carry the anger and fear inside of me. You could not have known he was going to do that, so in truth you were not to blame. You did what seemed right at the time. He did not tell you he would go on to do such horrible things." Shalimar knew that he had taken care of the guy. Hell she would have too if he had done that. It was terrible to think that a child had lost there lives, but there was no going back on it now. Looking around the garden she smiled again.

"I rrreally hate it at times. Most people pick up on the r thing. So I trrry to stop myself. Most of the time I can't. So I go with it....It is amazing that you noticed it. Then again you are Mr. Nature here." She teased a bit. "It would be terrible to loose her, I mean it would be amazing to have someone in your life that can show you the way when you are on the wrong path. To help you see the right and the wrong...To fight with you.." All this talk was depressing in her many ways. Then shaking it off she looked at the cat and then to Merlin. "I hope that nothing happens to you or her."
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Merlin Ambrosius
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"I know but you, how I feel you still will always blame yourself, no matter what, even if it wasn't your fault, nut you will always carry that anger and fear, I did what I had to in the end, I did not kill him, I wanted him to be punished so I sent him to worse fate I could think of at the time, I sentenced him to Hell, Alive"he admitted honestly he shuddered slightly remembering what he done to the guy, but he had to do it, remembering what he found at the scene it was horrible and disgusting and still haunted his nightmares.

Merlin smiled and laughed warmly, before sighing happily "This old girl is tough as nails she can take care of herself more than I can honestly I don't know how I could survive without her looking out for me, so its only me I think we have to worry about and luckily I have magic on my side for now."he smirked and gave her his wink, Merlin chuckled and sighed happily "so you have your r thing, could be worse it could be something really obvious that everyone could see and pick out from a mile away, just be glad that it isn't and that you are lucky"
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Shalimar Fox
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"I am sure that we have all done things that we are not proud of. Being what I am, it is not easy to deal with at times. Some people see me as a freak others as a beast. It is hard to say who will see what. Some do not see anything at all which helps a bit. He needed to go to hell alive. It is not right to hurt someone, let alone a child." A growl came from her throat as she thought about it and then calmed herself. Looking at him she hopped he would not think she was nuts. It would not be the right time and hell would be far from the last.

"I do not think she would like being called old." she laughed "At least you have someone to look after you. That is always a plus as well, having something on your side that others do not have." She smiled again and then smelled the flowers. They were amazing in truth. "That is true...Though I have learned over the years to hide it. To control the inner cat, which was far from easy. I am glad that they can not pick up on it from that far away.." He laughed and looked at him again.
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Merlin Ambrosius
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Merlin smiled and gave her and a thankful look "Thank you so much, you honour me I know that you understand it wasn't my fault, just as I know it wasn't yours, you had no control and I understand that in more ways than one, believe me, and don't worry I know your not nuts, your far from it"he smiled warmly and laughed gave her another wink, hoping that she wasn't to uncomfortable around him.

"she knows I am joking, yea I have always had her around, I don't know what I would do with out her, I think I would go crazy, or worse, she is all I have aswell I mean I don't actually get out much and don't have much of a life so we are all we have she is my family"he admitted hoping he didn't sound to sad or depressing, but that was how his life had always been for so long only him and Tanith.
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Shalimar Fox
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"You are very welcome..I do not honour you in truth, I was only speaking the truth. I know how hard it is to keep the beast at bay. Not to mention dealing with someone that did such horrible things. You did the world a justice in truth, though not many would say that. Thanks for thinking I am far from nuts. Though at times I believe i am pretty close to being crazy!" she laughed and them seen him wink. She did not feel as uncomfortable around him as she had a few moments ago. It was nice to have someone to speak to.

"Oh I am sure she does, but in that form she I am sure can get a bit anger. I know how that is. With a bit of cat in me. It is not easy to hide the anger at times. I do not get out much any more either. It is nice to have someone to talk to at times though. I think I really should get this flowers home and into water. If I don't they might just die and I would be rather sad. I really do like these. Thanks for giving them to me." Shalimar said with a grin.
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Merlin Ambrosius
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"At times we all are alittle crazy, but its natural, and what you don't think something you didn't by an accident doesn't reserve forgiveness and redemption? And that's what I mean I have meet so many Were-Kin who don't try to keep the Beast at Bay and yet you do, that is very honourable, It is the person we are on the inside who makes us who we are, nothing else"he told her, a little raven fluttering down to his shoulder, it muttered into his ear then flew off, again after it had given Merlin its message.

"Its usually if I get angry then she would change into her most powerfully form, a Huge White Panther, in that form she has alot more magic than she does in any others, she can go into it when she needs to, but prefers not to, I am glad that you enjoyed talking, it is nice just talking amongst the flowers and Im happy you like the flowers, they will last for a while"He smiled warmly and bowed his head causing a warm breeze blowing through the garden.
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Shalimar Fox
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"I guess when you put it that way then your right. I have learned to control the beast within. Though there are times that I lose that control and I can see what is happening but I can not stop it. That is when the anger takes over and I am just there. Hard to believe but it does happen from time to time. Most were-kin would rather rip your head off then to speak to you. A lot of them find me to be a weak, but when they mess with me they find out something different." She winked and then seen the raven. They were amazing birds, but had a bad reputation.

"So she feeds off your anger, that is odd." she said in all truth. "I am sure that she is an amazing panther though. Panthers are amazing cats though so that helps. I have enjoyed speaking to you. Maybe if you would like you can stop by my place and we can talk again. It is nice to have someone to chat with." She handed him a slip of paper with her number and address on it. "Plus you can make sure I am taking care of the flowers." she smiled at him this time. Feeling the warm breeze.
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Merlin Ambrosius
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"Anger is an emotion that makes us all lose control, some of us more dangerous than others, take me for example, I could be in New York, get so angry, that I decide to level the entire city, in seconds, not many survivors coming from that, but I do as you do I try to control myself, it is difficult at times and that's why I know that you are not weak Shalimar you are far stronger than they all realise"he explained honestly and he chuckled lightly at her wink.

"not exactly my emotions can influence her form the way my emotions influence my own form, trust me you don't want to see me when I am really angry, she is amazing and I may stop by some time, if you like my office at the school is always open, or just come here, and say my name, trust me I will hear you"he smiled warmly taking the slip of paper and placing it into his pocket.
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Shalimar Fox
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"So true, it is hard to control anger when it starts to boil over. Though I have learned through the years that if I do not then people die. Not something I want on my mind. I mean I have my ways of getting those feelings out without hurting people." Shalimar said with a grin. " I am sure that it would be hard to hold in that anger. I would not want to be on the wrong side of your anger Merlin."

"I am sure the link with you and her is amazing. I think that would not be something I want to see to be honest with you. Though not many would want to see me anger either. Not a pretty site I can a sure you of that. You are welcome to stop by, it is not far from here to be honest with you. I think I would feel more comfortable here then in the school." She said with a smile.
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Merlin Ambrosius
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"it is rather difficult to anger me though, so it is very difficult to get on that side of me, not many people have or will, I mean it has been a while since anyone has really, but it is good that you have learnt of a way to get those feelings out without hurting anyone, I took the easy way out unfortunately I learnt magic to help me control my negative emotions as much as possible, think of bottling it up literally"he explained knowing that magic did make life alot easier for mages.

Merlin smiled and chuckled. "ok then I promise you not to get angry around you if you promise not to get angry with me, I will make sure to stop by at some point, and yea I love it out here more than the school, but ofcourse Im not allowed to hold my lessons out here for some reason, apparently its not allowedhe smirked and sighed happily
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Shalimar Fox
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"Well I can say that I do not bottle things up. I have learned not to do such things for then when I do get anger it blows up larger then I can control. Though at times I do bottle things up. That is if I don't have the time to work it out. That does not happen much for I know better." She said and noticed that the sun was starting the set and her stomach was growling. She laughed a bit.

"That sounds like a good idea. I really should get going, my stomach thinks my throat has been cut." she laughed. "You are welcome to stop by any time..And out here is much better and they should allow you to do that. Many of the were-kin might just pay attention to you." she laughed and then spoke again. "It was nice to meet you, but I better go. Thanks again for the wonderful flowers." she said and turned and left the garden.
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Merlin Ambrosius
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"well then until next time, I guess I shall see you, just take care, and go get something to eat, before your stomach starts trying to eat itself, plus its getting dark, already I have a few things to do tonight, I like to check out the dorms and grounds at night just encase, you never know who is hiding in the darkness, and I have seen some of the worse people around, what can I say I like to be careful"he laughed at himself alittle.

Merlin sighed happily and bowed his head, as she left the garden, he then walked towards the castle, Tanith following beside him, though as usual they walked in silence, but they both where in deep thought, it was rare to ever see them in anything else, and they could be having a full conversation with each other in their heads, he looked around quickly one last time before they left.
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