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| Baby We Got Bad Blood | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 9 2015, 07:50 PM (28 Views) | |
| Post #1 Oct 9 2015, 07:50 PM | CodeApathy |
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My wounds cry for the grave My soul cries for deliverance Will I be denied Christ Tourniquet My suicide #OffCamera ++I lost myself a long time ago. somewhere between madness and sanity I lost touch with myself. I went from "Adrenaline" to "Icon" and everything else in between was a blur. Mental stability was never one of my strengths. Then again most genuises aren't mentally or emotionally stable, maybe I should take pride in that? What started as a foolish, ill planned journey to get revenge on the man who walked out on me and our unborn child, had turned into becoming a legend with a closet so full of skeletons and so many tainted stains on my life that I made Anna Nichole look sane. I just wanted him to suffer. I just wanted him to pay. My God the cost that my warpath of revenge had wrought me. Once I had gotten my sweet satisfaction it was too late. I was in too deep. I had become addicted to the lights, to the fame, to the fans screaming my name. I needed it. My entire life I was either living someone elses dream or rebelling against their place in society. I thought with every line of coke I snorted, every needle I shot in my arm and every guy I slept with that it would justify the way I felt. I never wanted this last name. I never wanted this lineage. I never asked to have such a father. I never deserved such a mother. I wanted to come out different. I didn't want to become one of them. I didn't want to become that which I despised. I...failed. As I stand looking into the mirror I have grown to hate the woman staring back at me. I gently finger the mirror and close my eyes and suddenly I am back at the beginning. Back before it all went wrong. There were no rules. There was no mercy. There was no room for pause or self-preservation. As my eyes opened, I ran my fingers through my recently bleached hair and cocked my head to the side. I was seeing red again++ Thomas: Liz? What the hell? Elizabeth: Do you remember the woman I was when we first met? Thomas: You were THE bitch. You knew you were THE bitch and you relished it. You were a dark angel amidst the sea of generic and overused. You were a rebel before being a rebel was considered trendy. The makeup, the clothing, the attitude was not an act or a way to "get over" it was who you were. To this day I cannot understand how you appealed to George in the first place. You were so different.. Elizabeth: The relationship I had with George falls along the line of the forbidden fruit. It always poisons you in the end. Thomas, when did it change? When did I change? ++Thomas sat down on the tub side and sighed. I knew that old wounds were about to be opened and I was okay with that. The wound about Bevins and her bitches of ACE had already ripped one scare right open, what was a few more? I looked over my shoulder at him++ Thomas: It was after what happened with Bel. None of use could understand it or put our finger on it. To us, you were better off without him but the day after you had the abortion and filed the divorce papers, you changed. What DID happen with Bel? Elizabeth: It was a mistake. After the wedding we set up house in Nevada. We were happy but he had started to become exceptionally erratic and hostile. I thought maybe it was him being off drugs or maybe he was back on the drugs again. I had no room to judge considering my own history. Then one day...he was gone. No note, no phone call, not a siingle thing he was just gone. I had just found out I was pregnant when he disappeared. Honestly Thomas, I thought he was dead. I thought he had comitted suicide. I thought that one day they would find his body in Lake Mead or at the bottom of the Hoover Dam. I made a judgement call and had the marriage annulled and then...had the abortion. I just didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to drag myself through more of his erratic and nonsensical bullshit. So I walked away. I really did love him. I was willing to give up my career for him. Thomas: So he just abandoned you? Why? He about tore the company apart just to defend your honor! Then he wins and then...just walks away? It doesn't make sense. Elizabeth: Nothing about Bel made sense. I guess it was just the final straw that broke me. Everything after that was either for personal gain or because I was bored. Quake? Boredom. Regehr? Boredom. I was absent of feeling or desire. I just merely existed. Thomas: So what does this have to do with your bleached hair? I know there is a connection but you will have to just be out with it. Elizabeth: Adrenaline...keeps me in the game..... ++My lips formed a wry smile but it took a bit for the meaning to sink in for Thomas. When the lightbulb finally went off he started laughing to himself++ Elizabeth: Should I go for a cherry red, a blood red or fire red? Thomas: I always preferred the Cherry red myself. Elizabeth: So let it be. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #OnCamera Apathy: You know Mel...I have been called a lot of things during my time in this business. I have seen a lot of things. Pedophiles, drug addicts, murder, suicide, rape, homosexuality hell I even seen a transexual midget named Renaldo. This business can be a heartless, soul eating monster at times. Of course you know all this. Your career was pretty much circling the drain. You were never good enough, never strong enough, never marketable enough. You were just some talented but bland chick in the business. ++She inhaled some of the vapors from her vape-cig and shook her head a little++ Apathy: I keep hearing you say that you didn't know. I keep hearing you shift the blame to SSB. I hear you when you say that if you had known...cut the crap Mel. You all knew. I have the proof that you knew. SSB was a manipulative bitch, but even she had her heart softened when she found out about Fionn. She made an announcement!! She addressed the whole damn lockerroom!! That lackey bitch of hers showed me the announcement!! YOU KNEW!! But...no...no...I digress this isn't just about the amount of disrespect you showed after her death. No this is about the business. This is about self realization. ++Again she inhaled her vapors and blew the cherry flavored smoke around. Finally it showed that she was sitting in a ring, against a turnbuckle. Her black hair now absent, replaced by her trademark color, cherry red. A look of disgust crawled across her face++ Apathy: I want to welcome you to my wrestling school. Yes. Mine. Every year another woman goes from these ring ropes out into the business and they go into the business with very important knowledge. Knowledge that failures like you were never given. When I broke into this business I was a valet. My family had cut me off, they had taken my daughter, and I found myself in New York forced into a position where I had to provide for myself. I wouldn't stoop to stripper poles so I attended an open house for an upstart promotion in New York. They liked me, and here I am. It wasn't all gumdrops though. You once asked why I was bitter and violent well I think you finally deserve an answer. ++She stood, casually walking the length of the ring, dragging her fingertips along the ropes++ Apathy: Have you ever had to give some washed up hack a hand job just to get face time? How many dicks have you had to suck just to be considered for a title shot at a womans title that didn't mean a God damned thing? How many of your female colleagues ended up raped and then addicted to drugs? How many traveling buddies of yours committed suicide and you were the one that found their body? How many drug overdoses have you had to watch because you knew there was nothing you could do, but call emergency services? How many times have your betters, the men in the business, forcefully put you in your place? Have you ever snorted a line of coke? You ever shoot up heroin? When is the last time you held a barrell of a gun against your skull because you just wanted to end the suffering? That is just half of the path I traveled to get where I am. I didn't buy myself legend status. I didn't sleep my way or politic my way to the top. I clawed until my fingers bled to get to the top and damn the bodies left in my wake lining my path behind me. You had NO right to bitch about my behavior or my performance. You had no right to act like I owed you something or that you had to carry me. You wretched bitch you are looking at the reason why ingrates like you don't have to swallow to get a title shot or keep your job. I changed this business for the likes of you. I, and many others like me. The path to your success is paved in dead bodies and the blood of every legitimate female wrestler who ever stepped into a ring. You say that you had no reason to come to me and ask what was going on. WRONG! It was your career that I was supposedly damaging and if you had even the slightest bit of respect for women like me, you would have confronted me. When you use that little stabbing incident as an excuse that is the same thing as saying you are gutless and you didn't want to make in this business as much as you say you did. You can make any and every excuse possible. You can call me crazy, a bitch, whatever helps you sleep at night I don't care. What I know though is that you weren't at the burial, and you damn sure didn't make an effort to reach out to me. Oh you trashed me quite a bit. My God how could I ever make Melinda Rhodes look weak! Or incompetent! I pray that you never have to experience the types of sorrow and trauma that I have but at the pay per view? I will get my satisfaction. You will pay the price for those whom I cannot punish. You will take the beating for those whom wronged me. Every word, insult, lie and smug look you are going to feel. I made my career being ruthless and vicious and I am not afraid to beat you within an inch of your life. Our line of work is dangerous, sometimes accidents happen. A wrong step, bad timing and you are in a body bag. Yes. I wanted you to come out and play, and I got what I wanted. This is not about wins or losses cupcake. This is about tradition...and revenge. |
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1:25 AM Jul 11