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| Erica Vargas: RAMPAGE | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 24 2015, 08:30 AM (83 Views) | |
| Post #1 Oct 24 2015, 08:30 AM | Jon A |
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[The frame jerks around uneasily for a few seconds; someone is obviously a novice camera operator.] ERICA VARGAS: [voice only] “So this thing is recording?” MAN'S VOICE: [nervous sounding] “If the red light is on, yes.” [The frame settles on a surface. After focusing, a darkened room comes into view, lit by a single light bulb. A car battery sits on the floor, jumper cables attached to it, but not to anything else.] VARGAS: [voice only, like a television announcer] “This... Is... RAMPAGE!” [Angrily, she steps away from the camera and into the darkness. She returns, pushing an office chair into the light; an ordinary looking guy in his late-twenties is duct-taped into it firmly. It looks like he's been pretty severely subdued.] VARGAS: “Now entering the studio are today's contestants! A low-ranking employee of the merchandising staff who have been selling knock-offs of my licensed gear for months, this is Ben!” [She steadies a piece of cardboard with the name “Ben” spray-painted across the front of it in front of the biker.] VARGAS: “And...” [She rushes off into the darkness again, pushing another office chair; this one has a paunchy-looking guy with weedy facial hair firmly duct-taped into it.] VARGAS: “...He is a wrestling nerd from some crappy news site who has been caught on more than one occasion hanging around the RESTRICTED DRESSING ROOM AREA before and after the show, this is Captain Neckbeard!” [She steadies a piece of cardboard with the name “CAPT. N” spray-painted across it for him.] VARGAS: “...And our returning champion...” [She pushes a third office chair into the light. This one is filled with the hapless technician she met in the lighting grid some weeks ago.] VARGAS: “...Whose cash-winnings are... probably almost double what I take home in annual pay. I mean, you are IATSE, right?” [His mouth is not duct-taped shut, unlike the other two “Contestants.” It was obviously his voice that instructed her on how to operate the camera equipment under duress.] RODNEY: “R-right. I... make a decent wage.” VARGAS: “You deserve to. Especially after what you're about to see.” [She steadies a piece of cardboard in front of Rodney with the words “HONEY RECTUM” spray-painted across the front.] VARGAS: “And the host for 'Rampage!'... ERICA... VARGAS!” [She pretends to respond to studio audience applause for a second, before continuing in an Alex Trebek impression, masking barely concealed rage.] VARGAS: “Thank you! Thank you, Johnny! Let's get to today's categories!” [She mimes the action of 'Jeopardy's' TV wall in the air.] VARGAS: “Boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep BOOOOOP!” [She suddenly turns intimidating again, standing inches from the 'contestants' as she recites the categories menacingly.] VARGAS: “Today's categories are 'Douchebags'... 'Bags of Douche'... 'Pigfucking Delta-Bags'... 'Rotten and Useless Feminine Hygiene Waste Products'... 'Disgusting Overweight Underachieving Cunts Horribly Expectorating Before Anal Garbage Spewing'...” [She leans in, a narrow grin on her face, before whispering...] VARGAS: “And... 'Potpourri.'” RODNEY: “Please, I swear I didn't have anything to do with this!” VARGAS: “Rodney, I know you didn't have anything to do with this, but this is the only way I can get any of you techs to work overtime. Pick a category and I promise not to mutilate you like I'm going to with your fellow contestants.” [Ben and the Captain both shift uncomfortably.] RODNEY: “A category?” VARGAS: “Yes, and a dollar amount.” RODNEY: “Ummm... the douchebag thing for $200?” VARGAS: “The answer!” [She begins reading from an imaginary blue card in her open palm.] VARGAS: “This douchebag rifled through my stiff while I was working out in The Pitt ring this evening and stole all my clean underthings.” [She swats the bootleg merchandiser on the top of the scalp with her open hand.] VARGAS: “Ben!” [She rips the duct-tape off of his unshaven face.] BEN: “AHHHHH! Go to hell, you bitch!” VARGAS: “I'm sorry...” [She picks up a nearby pail and pours water onto his torso, the picks up the loose leads from the car battery on the floor.] VARGAS: “...You didn't phrase it in the form of a question.” [She plunges the ends of the jumper cables into his soaked crotch. A few electrical pops and some smoke rises off of him...] BEN: “AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” [She tosses the cables aside.] VARGAS: “Anyone else want to ring in on this?” [Erica begins looming over the neckbearded 'contestant.'] VARGAS: “Yes! Captain N the Douche Master!” [She swats him on the top of the scalp with her open palm.] VARGAS: “For two hundred: This douchebag rifled through my stiff while I was working out in The Pitt ring this evening and stole all my clean underthings.” [She rips the duct tape off his neckbearded face.] CAPTAIN: “AHH!” [He struggles to catch his breath.] CAPTAIN: “If... I... Sorry... 'What is'... If I were stealing The Pitt girls' underwear, who would I want to steal yours over anyone else's?” [Erica's eyes narrow.] VARGAS: “Judges?” CAPTAIN: “Wait, I didn't mean it like that--” VARGAS: “Too late! Thanks for soaking yourself for me, by the way.” [She hooks the jumper cables to the neckbeard's crotch and he screams and sizzles for a few seconds before she removes them. Then she turns to Rodney.] RODNEY: “Look, I swear to god I know nothing about this!” VARGAS: “I know, Rodney, but I happen to take my privacy very seriously, and if someone is digging around in my unmentionables, well...” [She eyeballs the other two 'contestants' who are groaning in pain.] VARGAS: “An eye for an eye, and unmentionables for unmentionables. Rodney, I've got a past that I'm not proud of and if people are digging around in my stuff, they'll probably find something about me that I'm not proud of.” BEN: “Like why you ever got a Skrillex haircut?” [She scowls for a second, then picks up a nearby pipewrench and tosses it at Ben's face. That shuts him up.] VARGAS: “Rodney, if people are trying to get into my head, then I'm liable to start losing matches because of it.” CAPTAIN: “How could you tell the difference?” [She scowls again, and then picks up the pipewrench and smacks the neckbeard in the crotch with it.] RODNEY: “Look, any help you need, I can offer it, okay? But I swear I don't know anything about people rifling through your stuff!” VARGAS: “So you'll let me know if there are any suspicious people around?” RODNEY: “Yes! Yes! Anything!” VARGAS: “Good boy, Rodney. I knew I could count on you. And as for me...” [She struts toward the camera, and kneels down in front of it, to the point where her face fills the frame. She smirks and puts on a pair of expensive sunglasses.] VARGAS: “...This panther has some new prey.” [Freeze frame and fade out.] you saw nothing Edited by Jon A, Oct 25 2015, 01:24 PM.
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| Post #2 Oct 24 2015, 08:31 AM | Jon A |
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[And rewind.] [She struts toward the camera, and kneels down in front of it, to the point where her face fills the frame. She smirks and puts on a pair of expensive sunglasses.] VARGAS: “...This panther has some new prey.” [Freeze frame and fade out.] [And rewind.] [She struts toward the camera, and kneels down in front of it, to the point where her face fills the frame. She smirks and puts on a pair of expensive sunglasses.] VARGAS: “...This panther has some new prey.” [Freeze frame and fade out.] [Cut to the production booth. Rodney is still duct-taped into the chair. His hands are free though as he works the VTR machine.] VARGAS: “Now tell me that's not how you start a rampage, Rodney. Is that not sequel-bait? And can you turn down the contrast and brightness to make it look more dramatic?” RODNEY: “I've already turned it down enough.” VARGAS: “And can you add music?” RODNEY: “Music?” VARGAS: “Yeah, for the freeze-frame. Do you have 'The Rockford Files' theme, by chance?” |
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1:25 AM Jul 11