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Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,078 Views)
Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
DevilFish
Aug 11 2017, 10:22 AM
Olde Farte
Aug 10 2017, 11:16 AM
A great offer, if anyone can take it up, Let me know.

This may be of interest to some of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for the final Test in Auckland on 8th September. He paid £1000 each, [Inc. food& beverage] but he didn't realise when he bought these tickets many months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

It's at the All Saints Church, Liverpool at 2.30pm Sat July 8th .The
bride's name is Nicole, She's 5'8", about 9 stone (57 Kg), quite pretty,
has her own income and is a really good cook.
Same day?
I never spotted the different date, I better correct it so it makes sense.
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Mark M
Aug 11 2017, 12:13 PM
Olde Farte
Aug 9 2017, 08:20 AM
Love it, now how do I tell mine that there is a 1/48th MiG-29 on finals to me, suggestions please.
i thought you wernt buying any more kits :whistle :whistle :wicked
I forgot..................... :whistle :rolf
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Mark M
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Hawk T1
Olde Farte
Aug 11 2017, 12:17 PM
Mark M
Aug 11 2017, 12:13 PM
Olde Farte
Aug 9 2017, 08:20 AM
Love it, now how do I tell mine that there is a 1/48th MiG-29 on finals to me, suggestions please.
i thought you wernt buying any more kits :whistle :whistle :wicked
I forgot..................... :whistle :rolf
thats the answer, tell Judy you cant remember ordering it :cool: :cool:
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Mark M
Aug 11 2017, 12:26 PM
Olde Farte
Aug 11 2017, 12:17 PM
Mark M
Aug 11 2017, 12:13 PM
Olde Farte
Aug 9 2017, 08:20 AM
Love it, now how do I tell mine that there is a 1/48th MiG-29 on finals to me, suggestions please.
i thought you wernt buying any more kits :whistle :whistle :wicked
I forgot..................... :whistle :rolf
thats the answer, tell Judy you cant remember ordering it :cool: :cool:
She will actually believe me as I forget all sorts of things. :whistle
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Order? Order wut?! Posted Image
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
RJ Tucker
Aug 12 2017, 02:08 AM
Order? Order wut?! Posted Image
Exactly RJ....................
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Posted Image



'nuff said! :blink:
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
:rolf :rolf :rolf
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.

The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said, " So why are you here ? "

The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the Sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, " So what’s the vet going to do ? "

" Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked " why are you here ?

The Black Lab said, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners''s couch."

" So what are they going to do to you ? " the Yellow Lab inquired.

" Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, " Why are you here ? "

" I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see." Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, " So, it's nuts off for you too, huh ?"

The Great Dane said, " No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped ! "
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Mark M
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Hawk T1
:rolf
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Cimmerian
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Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
:rolf
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
The Air Officer Commanding 2 Gp is being driven from High Wycombe to RAF Brize Norton for the annual formal inspection when the staff car breaks down just off the A1. The driver, an SAC of the female persuasion, opens the bonnet and has a look at the engine but can't see the problem.
The AOC, who fancies himself as a bit of an amateur mechanic walks behind her to have a look and says, "Would it help if you had a screwdriver?"
The SAC smiles and replies politely, "Better not sir. It looks like we're going to be late enough as it is."
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Well...... she could provide an auxiliary air start...... just sayin'.

:wicked
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
A statement used by bus drivers all over the world to their female compadres.
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mac1677
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Lt Mac 'Shocker' McSheffrey
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