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Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,065 Views)
Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth.

Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.

Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was sh***ing his wife.
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Minor edit:

Quote:
 
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, hunting, sex, fishing, sex, golfing, sex, something with wheels, or sex.


Accuracy counts.

:laugh:
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
lol!
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Edit is great RJ.

PS. What's sex?
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
A rather frustrated elderly lady at the supermarket, when she saw bananas and cucumbers and so many things that put her into one of her rather erotic moods so, as usual, she ended up buying far more than she needed.

When she arrived at the checkout there was a young man packing bags. As he packed her bags his muscles gleamed under the fluorescent lights and she could make out the contours of his body she could hardly control herself.

After she paid she asked the young man if he could help her to her car with her many heavy bags of groceries and the young man willingly obliged.

As they walked through the car park the lady finally lost control. She placed her hand on the young man’s bum and said “I have an itchy f***y”, to which the young man replied “You’ll have to show me where it is ... ’cause all these Japanese cars look the same to me”.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A drunken woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi at Fortitude Valley in Brisbane.

The Indian driver opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the Cab.

"What's wrong with you Luv, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..."

"Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvvie, what are you doing then?"


"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me?!"
Edited by Olde Farte, Dec 29 2017, 11:27 AM.
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Disorder
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Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
Loved the Japanese car one, Del. :rolf :rolf :rolf
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
I did wonder if they were a bit risqué Paddy, then I thought what the hell.
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Disorder
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Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
Olde Farte
Dec 29 2017, 01:38 PM
I did wonder if they were a bit risqué Paddy, then I thought what the hell.
:like
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Posted Image

Posted Image

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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
:rolf :rolf :rolf
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Disorder
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Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
:rolf :rolf :rolf
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Disorder
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Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
Posted Image
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
:rolf :rolf
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
My wife has this thing these days where she wants "us to talk about things". We were discussing aspects of our future so when it was my turn I asked her "What will you do if I die before you do?

After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.

Then she asked me, "What will you do if I die first?”

I replied, "Probably the same thing."
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
lol
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