CLICK HERE to see posts in last 24 hours
| Welcome to Mainly Military modelling. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Joke Thread | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,127 Views) | |
| Cimmerian | Dec 15 2015, 03:21 PM Post #856 |
|
Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
|
They got away with a lot if you listened carefully. Very clever. |
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Dec 15 2015, 03:42 PM Post #857 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
Tothing like the nongue getting into a mucking fuddle................................. |
![]() |
|
| Nikon User | Dec 15 2015, 04:07 PM Post #858 |
|
"BEAVER"
|
I hold Ronnie Barker in my highest regard for his work. I'd need more than a few takes to read that out loud - and I've just tried to! (My wife's out at the moment...) Another one where the writers and performers got away with a few was Around the Horne, apparently. |
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Dec 15 2015, 06:13 PM Post #859 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
Ah, Round the Horne is my wife's favourite and she has a collection of CDs and tapes which are packed full of innuendos. |
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Dec 15 2015, 06:17 PM Post #860 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
A Senior (No it's not me ) trying to set a password:WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use. |
![]() |
|
| Disorder | Dec 15 2015, 06:33 PM Post #861 |
|
Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
|
|
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Dec 15 2015, 10:22 PM Post #862 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
|
![]() |
|
| RJ Tucker | Dec 15 2015, 10:23 PM Post #863 |
|
Patrolling the MMM frontier
|
DIVORCE JUDGE: Are you sexually active? Remember, Mrs. Smith you are under oath. MRS SMITH: No, your Honor, I just lie there. |
![]() |
|
| Nikon User | Dec 16 2015, 10:01 AM Post #864 |
|
"BEAVER"
|
A bank is getting robbed by a man wielding a shotgun. He gets the cash and as he turns to leave, his mask slips and he exposed his face for just a moment before he could put it back. Going to the nearest man, he asks the guy if he had seen his face. The man says "Yes", so he shoots him dead on the spot. He asks the next man in line "Did you see my face?". The guy says "No, but my Mother-in-Law did". |
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Dec 16 2015, 10:50 AM Post #865 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
|
![]() |
|
| RJ Tucker | Dec 16 2015, 10:31 PM Post #866 |
|
Patrolling the MMM frontier
|
Scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of a chemical that mimics female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive. ********************************************************************* Think women are better drivers? Then, please, explain when Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn, she immediately caused a 3 car pile-up with injuries? ********************************************************************************** ![]() ********************************************************** Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning. |
![]() |
|
| stevescan | Dec 17 2015, 02:31 AM Post #867 |
|
Airbrush master
|
|
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Dec 17 2015, 11:50 AM Post #868 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
My small grandson got lost in Sainsburys. He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" "The guard asked, "What's he like?" The little devil hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Old Scotch and women with big tits." |
![]() |
|
| Cimmerian | Dec 17 2015, 12:51 PM Post #869 |
|
Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
|
|
![]() |
|
| Cimmerian | Dec 17 2015, 12:55 PM Post #870 |
|
Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
|
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!'' |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · General Chat · Next Topic » |






) trying to set a password:


2:39 PM Jul 11