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Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,124 Views)
Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
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Dec 21 2015, 03:24 PM
CRAB

A term used by the RN and Army to describe members of the RAF. The origins are lost in time and there are a few versions of how this came about.

PONGO

A term used by the RN and RAF to describe soldiers. "Where the Army goes, the pong goes..."



I'm far too polite to mention terms that are used by the Army and RAF to describe sailors. I've been both of the above.

:grin:
Nigel, I would love to know what your 'proper' names are.

RJ I presume these are the US terms?
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Olde Farte
Dec 22 2015, 12:10 PM
Nikon User
Dec 21 2015, 03:24 PM
CRAB

A term used by the RN and Army to describe members of the RAF. The origins are lost in time and there are a few versions of how this came about.

PONGO

A term used by the RN and RAF to describe soldiers. "Where the Army goes, the pong goes..."



I'm far too polite to mention terms that are used by the Army and RAF to describe sailors. I've been both of the above.

:grin:
Nigel, I would love to know what your 'proper' names are.

RJ I presume these are the US terms?
Yep, US terms adopted as the NATO standard. :blink:
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while.

"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.

"Yes," replies her daughter.

"Do you still have any questions?"

"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"

"In exactly the same way as with babies."

"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"


:cool:
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
:rolf :rolf :rolf
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Cimmerian
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Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says,

"I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!".

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "it's all set. They're both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare."
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Mark M
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Hawk T1
Rolf
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach starting to gag. "Not while I'm eating!"

:barf
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
A Man walks into a kebab shop and sees behind the counter a jolly fellow with a big white beard and red trousers.
The man asks “Excuse me for asking but you look like Father Christmas, are you him?”
Father Christmas replies “Yes I am”
“What are you doing in a Kebab shop?”
“Oh the last few years have been terrible. First it was the Credit Crunch, then the Recession, then the double dip Recession. We kept on over spending on Christmas Presents and we owed thousands, the next thing we knew the Tax Man gave us a huge great big tax bill. Anyway to cut a long story short we lost the lot. Lapland has gone, the Elves have nowhere to live and I’m having to work in this Kebab Shop to make ends meet”
“Oh my goodness that’s terrible”
”Anyway it still upsets me now thinking of all the children that are not getting any presents, can you please change the subject, what is it you came in for?” Santa replied
“Oh I’m sorry, can I have a Donner Kebab please?”
“I’m sorry I’m all out of Donner, I’ve only got Blitzen and Comet left”
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Oh! deer, deer, deer that's sooooooooo........... sad.
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stevescan
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Airbrush master
Groan, :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Too much for this old fart...........................tremendously funny though and I love 'em all.
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
A couple of young children are at day care one day when one of the little girls approaches Tommy and says, "Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?"

"Sure! What do you want me to do?" he asks.

The little girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

"Communicate my feelings?" questions a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means..."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

:blink:
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Sooooooooooooooooooooo true. :rolf :rolf :rolf
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Cimmerian
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Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
Posted Image
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