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Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,123 Views)
Cimmerian
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Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
:rolf :rolf :rolf
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Did you hear about the scientist who fitted a new door knocker?


He was trying to win the No-Bell prize



Ok,ok,ok let's see if I can make up for that one...... :dead
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Nikon User
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"BEAVER"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: ''Aaargh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''

The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked, "To withdraw all his money from his savings account?"


:ohmy
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mrvr6
Lt. john 'Buzz Kill' burton
lol
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer? None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

:wicked
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
RJ Tucker
Dec 27 2015, 08:01 PM
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer? None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

:wicked
Your SWMBO must hate you................... :rolf :rolf
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Olde Farte
Dec 28 2015, 10:42 AM
RJ Tucker
Dec 27 2015, 08:01 PM
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer? None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

:wicked
Your SWMBO must hate you................... :rolf :rolf
Are you kidding? I get sex whenever she wants!

:blink:
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stevescan
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Airbrush master
:rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't make any difference what you call him; he won't come over.


Penalty for jokes the bad:

Posted Image



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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
You're definitely getting worse with these RJ, keep 'em coming though.

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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

:WHIP
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mrvr6
Lt. john 'Buzz Kill' burton
RJ Tucker
Dec 29 2015, 06:25 PM
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

:WHIP
?
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
mrvr6
Dec 29 2015, 08:15 PM
RJ Tucker
Dec 29 2015, 06:25 PM
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

:WHIP
?
The implied threat is a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Edited by RJ Tucker, Dec 29 2015, 09:48 PM.
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