Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

CLICK HERE to see posts in last 24 hours

Welcome to Mainly Military modelling. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,116 Views)
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Doh!............................. :bang:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RJ Tucker
Member Avatar
Patrolling the MMM frontier
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says, "F**k off, you won't bring it back."

:dead
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Johni044
Lt John "bullet" Irwing
An oldie but goody (bit like Dell) audio recording of Bird and Fortune on the Eurofighter.

http://youtu.be/TNXnMux6118
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RJ Tucker
Member Avatar
Patrolling the MMM frontier
1st man: It is sickening the way my wife keeps talking about her ex husband.

2nd man: Well, mine keeps talking about her next husband.

:blink:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Johni044
Jan 29 2016, 10:02 PM
An oldie but goody (bit like Dell) audio recording of Bird and Fortune on the Eurofighter.

http://youtu.be/TNXnMux6118
Thanks a bunch John. :rolf :rolf

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I, listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.."

He then addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?'

I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, 'Self-raising, isn't it?'

And thus began my life of celibacy..........
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Random thoughts

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Indian Taxi Driver

A drunken, totally naked, woman jumped into a taxi at Park Beach Plaza in Coffs Harbour, Australia. The Indian driver shook his head, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

"What are you staring at, Luv, haven't you ever seen a woman with no clothes on before?"

"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from..."

"Well, if you're not bloody staring at me Luvvie, what are you doing then?"

"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me?!"
Edited by Olde Farte, Jan 30 2016, 01:30 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RJ Tucker
Member Avatar
Patrolling the MMM frontier
Posted Image

Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Disorder
Member Avatar
Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
RJ & Del - :rolf :rolf :rolf Brilliant!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Cimmerian
Member Avatar
Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nikon User
Member Avatar
"BEAVER"
:like
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nikon User
Member Avatar
"BEAVER"
Earlier today I walked down a road where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k and 1mb.



It was a trip down memory lane.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RJ Tucker
Member Avatar
Patrolling the MMM frontier
Nikon User
Jan 31 2016, 09:23 PM
Earlier today I walked down a road where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k and 1mb.



It was a trip down memory lane.

Posted Image

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RJ Tucker
Member Avatar
Patrolling the MMM frontier
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

:ohmy
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · General Chat · Next Topic »
Add Reply