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Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,110 Views)
Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Took a minute then it clicked, nice one RJ.
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smeds
Airbrush master
Can't remember if I've posted this before or not......

Adam and Eve were sat in the garden of Eden, when Eve turns to Adam and asks,

"Are we black, or are we white" ?

Adam says, "I don't know" !!

Eve says, go and ask God.

So off Adam goes, "'ere God, Eve wants to know, are we black, or are we white" ?

God says, "You are what you are my son".

So Adam goes back to Eve in the garden of Eden.

"Well", Eve asks,

"We are white" states Adam.

"How do you know that" Eve asks,

Well God said you are what you are.

"How does that make us white", said Eve.

Because if we were black, God would have said, "you is what you is" !!!!
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Why did the man cross the road?

He heard the chicken was a slut.



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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
A man was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm out of petrol," the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed, "What did you put in my petrol tank?"

"BP."
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
How can you tell if a woman is happy?

Who cares?

:wicked
Edited by RJ Tucker, Mar 5 2016, 10:56 PM.
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Sex is not the answer to a warm, fulfilling, lasting relationship.

Sex is the question.

Yes is the answer.


:ohmy
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
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Nikon User
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"BEAVER"
:like
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Nikon User
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"BEAVER"
Ordering a takeaway meal on-line - £25.00


Petrol used to go and collect it - £2.12


When you arrive home, finding out they've left out part of the order...




Riceless!
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers?

"Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…"


:grin:
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Your one liners are marvellous RJ.
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation.

"Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man.

"No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.


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mrvr6
Lt. john 'Buzz Kill' burton
hehe
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.

:blink:




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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
So true...................................
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