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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,108 Views) | |
| RJ Tucker | Mar 15 2016, 03:32 PM Post #1141 |
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
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My doctor asked me if I'd thought about a vasectomy. I replied, "No, not a vasectomy; but set of scars has promise."
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| mrvr6 | Mar 15 2016, 07:18 PM Post #1142 |
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Lt. john 'Buzz Kill' burton
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| Olde Farte | Mar 16 2016, 09:22 AM Post #1143 |
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
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I'm lost here also. |
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| DevilFish | Mar 16 2016, 11:07 AM Post #1144 |
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LCDR Paul "Voodoo" Carter
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Me too |
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| RJ Tucker | Mar 16 2016, 11:31 AM Post #1145 |
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
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With a "set of scars" you can tell a potential conquest you're fixed & you have the scars to prove it. All part of the deception in the elaborate kabuki dance of 1 night stands. A little too obscure I reckon. (Deleted the broke link) Edited by RJ Tucker, Mar 17 2016, 12:44 AM.
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| Olde Farte | Mar 16 2016, 01:11 PM Post #1146 |
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
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Ah! I understand now. A set of scars is cheaper than a full blown snip I presume. Piccie isn't showing RJ. |
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| RJ Tucker | Mar 16 2016, 01:37 PM Post #1147 |
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
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Don't know what to tell ya'. Shows up on my screen. ![]() |
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| RJ Tucker | Mar 17 2016, 12:43 AM Post #1148 |
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
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A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her on his first attempt. "That's the way to do it," he says. "Big deal", replies the blonde. "You'd never have got it unless I'd tired it out first."
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| Disorder | Mar 17 2016, 10:54 AM Post #1149 |
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Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
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![]() ![]() Paddy and Murphy are walking down the road and Paddy has a bag of donuts. "Guess how many donuts I have and you can keep them both", says Paddy. "Four?", says Murphy Seamus is driving around town not able to find a parking space. He starts to pray "Lord, find me a parking spot and I'll give up the whiskey and go back to church." Just then, the clouds open and a ray of light shines down on an empty parking space. "Never mind, Lord." says Seamus, " I found one myself" Happy St. Patricks Day |
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| Olde Farte | Mar 17 2016, 11:54 AM Post #1150 |
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
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The Box Under Bill & Hillary's Bed When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?" Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." Hillary was shocked, but said, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened by your behaviour. However, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem." Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered: "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre and redeemed them for cash." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and they couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" “Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor. "We're getting granite counter tops." Edited by Olde Farte, Mar 17 2016, 11:55 AM.
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| RJ Tucker | Mar 17 2016, 11:16 PM Post #1151 |
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
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A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "Huh? you want me to stay?" |
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| Olde Farte | Mar 18 2016, 11:50 AM Post #1152 |
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
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BOB BETS WITH THE BLONDE Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again." Bob took her money. Edited by Olde Farte, Mar 18 2016, 11:50 AM.
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| Mark M | Mar 18 2016, 11:53 AM Post #1153 |
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Hawk T1
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| Cimmerian | Mar 18 2016, 02:20 PM Post #1154 |
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Lt. Ken 'Albatros' Jeffrey
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| RJ Tucker | Mar 19 2016, 10:32 AM Post #1155 |
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." |
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2:39 PM Jul 11