Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

CLICK HERE to see posts in last 24 hours

Welcome to Mainly Military modelling. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,095 Views)
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who did a great job at serving everyone drinks and food. He ensured everyone was having an enjoyable flight, and I saw no complaints.
As the plane prepared to descend, he walked down the aisle and relayed directions from the captain of the plane.
“Captain Harry has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed Arabic woman who had not followed directions. Her tray was completely down.
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines when I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”
She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, B****!”
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Brexit explained.

https://vimeo.com/135166094
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, “Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”
Without hesitating,
the American Admiral replied, “Maybe it’s because the Brit’s, Canadians, Aussie’s and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.”
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Oh I do like that............................
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
:rolf :rolf :rolf :rolf
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the pub with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going down the pub with me ?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time. This time he put his face up against the centipede's box and shouted,
"Hey, you in there! Would you like to go to the pub with me?

This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my bloody shoes on!"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mark M
Member Avatar
Hawk T1
old but bold
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
beowulf
Member Avatar
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Disorder
Member Avatar
Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
:rolf :rolf
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Olde Farte
Member Avatar
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
I always wondered. :whistle :whistle :rolf
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · General Chat · Next Topic »
Add Reply