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Joke Thread
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,092 Views)
beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3
am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop.
Upon hearing the sailor's lame explanation for his tardiness, the officer
ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor
chain by morning or it's the brig for you!: The sailor began to pick up
the broom and commence performing his charge. As he began to sweep, a
tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave,
but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the
bird a toss. The bird left, only to return and light once again on the
broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again,
with the same result. He couldn't get any cleaning done because he can
only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted bird returns.
When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his
wayward sailor. "What in the heck have you been doing all night? This
chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for
yourself, sailor?" barked the chief. "Honest, chief," came the reply, "I
tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
Doh!
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madnursegaz
resin fondler
beowulf
Nov 7 2016, 05:18 PM
A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3
am. Th . . .(edited for brevity) . . .ef petty officer, to check up on his
wayward sailor. "What in the heck have you been doing all night? This
chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for
yourself, sailor?" barked the chief. "Honest, chief," came the reply, "I
tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"
:bang:
:bang:

I'll get your coat! . . .
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
hehehehehe
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
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RJ Tucker
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Patrolling the MMM frontier
beowulf
Nov 15 2016, 05:53 PM
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You did that just for the halibut; didn't you?

:laugh:
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DevilFish
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LCDR Paul "Voodoo" Carter
beowulf
Nov 15 2016, 05:53 PM
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"Two fish in a tank....... :rolf
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
You have plaiced it just right, carry on like this and you cod get better.
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
Apparently a man in Australia, who was so drunk that he was kicked out of the pub, decided to go to a local zoo where he climbed into the enclosure of a 5m saltwater crocodile and tried to ride it.

It almost defies belief. I mean, how drunk would you have to be to get kicked out of a pub in Australia?
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beowulf
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Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
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Olde Farte
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Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.
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Disorder
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Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
:rolf :rolf :rolf

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