CLICK HERE to see posts in last 24 hours
| Welcome to Mainly Military modelling. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Joke Thread | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 04:24 PM (29,092 Views) | |
| beowulf | Nov 7 2016, 05:18 PM Post #1381 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. Upon hearing the sailor's lame explanation for his tardiness, the officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!: The sailor began to pick up the broom and commence performing his charge. As he began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss. The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. He couldn't get any cleaning done because he can only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted bird returns. When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor. "What in the heck have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief. "Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!" |
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Nov 8 2016, 09:18 AM Post #1382 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
Doh! |
![]() |
|
| madnursegaz | Nov 8 2016, 04:44 PM Post #1383 |
|
resin fondler
|
I'll get your coat! . . . |
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 8 2016, 06:27 PM Post #1384 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
hehehehehe |
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 15 2016, 05:51 PM Post #1385 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
|
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 15 2016, 05:52 PM Post #1386 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
|
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 15 2016, 05:53 PM Post #1387 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
|
![]() |
|
| RJ Tucker | Nov 16 2016, 02:07 AM Post #1388 |
|
Patrolling the MMM frontier
|
You did that just for the halibut; didn't you?
|
![]() |
|
| DevilFish | Nov 16 2016, 06:58 AM Post #1389 |
|
LCDR Paul "Voodoo" Carter
|
"Two fish in a tank.......
|
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Nov 16 2016, 09:45 AM Post #1390 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
You have plaiced it just right, carry on like this and you cod get better. |
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 16 2016, 06:04 PM Post #1391 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
|
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 19 2016, 06:06 PM Post #1392 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
Apparently a man in Australia, who was so drunk that he was kicked out of the pub, decided to go to a local zoo where he climbed into the enclosure of a 5m saltwater crocodile and tried to ride it. It almost defies belief. I mean, how drunk would you have to be to get kicked out of a pub in Australia? |
![]() |
|
| beowulf | Nov 19 2016, 06:47 PM Post #1393 |
|
Lt. Paul 'Red Dog' Rose
|
|
![]() |
|
| Olde Farte | Nov 20 2016, 11:20 AM Post #1394 |
|
Lt. Derek 'Smurfy' Reeve
|
LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK: The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.” Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.” The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.” Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him. Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!” The teacher sat down and cried. |
![]() |
|
| Disorder | Nov 20 2016, 04:53 PM Post #1395 |
|
Lt Paddy 'Chancer' Boyle
|
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · General Chat · Next Topic » |







2:39 PM Jul 11