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| New Star Wars film.; Credible theory on the new baddie. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 30 2014, 02:12 PM (74 Views) | |
| DLG Dave | Nov 30 2014, 02:12 PM Post #1 |
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Lt Dave 'Wraith' Carter
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http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=youtube+star+wars+death+star+trench+run+wedge&FORM=HDRSC3#view=detail&mid=BA8E05EA7911F6310C7DBA8E05EA7911F6310C7D Go to one minute in. 'You can't do any more good back there'. (Skywalker - Teenager whose Tatooine nickname is 'Wormie') 'Let him go. Stay on the Leader'. (Vader - most evilist man in the entire universe who can strangle an old bloke just by thought power from several light years away. Calls teenage 'Wormie' 'the Leader' even though his total actual time flying X-Wings is about seven minutes. That's the Vader who has just been happy splatting Y-wings for practice, yet allows an X-wing flown my a years experience combat pilot to fly off without worrying). The new baddie is Wedge. Thirty-six years brooding resentment that he wasn't even deemed enough of a threat to shoot down. Told he was no good by a smelly adolescent with six-and-a-half minutes X-Wing time whose life you just bleedin' saved about three minutes previously. Biggs - your wingman you've known thru' thick and thin and have backed him up relentlessly in countless firefights, then, ten minutes before the biggest Battlestation in Galactic history is about to mangle your planet decides 'Tell you what, Wedge - now Wormie is here why don't you just fly around at the back and stay out of our way? My mate is here now. In fact, he's my best mate and I doubt I'd even notice you existed if he was here? I'd prefer him there even though he was dressed as a Stormtrooper ten minutes ago and would soil his Landspeeder if he only saw the vapour trail of an X-Wing in a black and white photo. What was the very last bleedin' word on Biggs' lips? - was it 'WEDGE' - his loyal wingman? Was it b***er. It was the name of his bestest mate with two-and-two-thirds minutes X-Wing flight bleedin' time. That's the same Skywalker who met some old bloke in a cave who had lived for just about forever and was killed only a couple of hours later by Wormie's own bleedin' DAD!! YODA!! bloody YODA!" Eight hundred years old fearless warrior and when bloody Skywalker turns up he goes and dies in his BED! Skywalker? Wormie? Bleedin' 'Jinx' more like? That's him - Wedge. Man renowned for destroying the second Death Star (only the second one like - not good enough for the first, was he?) and even then the Empire had to go out of their way to tell them where the damn thing was in the first place, they didn't even finish building the thing and they let them get that close to it before they even bothered firing back. And that was with a Rebel fleet ten zillion times the size of the attack on the first Death Star. (Or 'The actually dangerous Death Star that Luke destroyed', people have learned to call it). First to knock down an AT-AT? Tell you what, bloody 'Wormie', why not just go and do it single handed without even a Snowspeeder then? Then, when the medals are given out, you're two-hundred-and-seventeenth back in line which is headed in pride of place by a teenager, some furry nutter wearing a Bay City Rollers' sash and a robot which doesn't even merit subtitles? And has there ever been a 'Wedge' toothbrush holder? Even the bleedin' JAWAS managed that 'honour'...??...... Yep. 'We've won the war Wedge!'. 'Great - let's all go and get blatted on Special Brew and have the biggest hangover in history'. 'No - Luke's had a better idea, we're going to give some bloody animated Teddy Bears a firework display and then dance around in a forest - ensuring any controlled substances and magic mushrooms are kept clear of bleedin' Princess Leia. Luke has all the best ideas and we think he's fantastic. He's also a brill X-Wing pilot and could fly rings round you when he only had nine seconds flight experience. Why not rename yourself 'Luke' Wedge? All the good things happen when he's around. Apart from all the mysterious dead bodies of course who were just fine for years up to the minutes they met bleedin Wormie - then - THUTT!! Even then the Death Star was just fine until he turned up and he didn't even use the bloody targeting computer - an old dead bloke who was played by a spliffed-up Jockanese git in his earlier life just tells him to turn everything off and trust to luck' 'Give him a break Wedge - that's your Ewen your nephew you're talking about. The famous talent in your family. Not that there's much of course. He's great too - and even then while dead he still gets more lines then you do. And more collectors figures'. Wouldn't you turn to the Dark Side? I would? |
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| madnursegaz | Nov 30 2014, 04:58 PM Post #2 |
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resin fondler
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8:58 AM Jul 11