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jokes
Topic Started: Feb 6 2008, 05:41 PM (1,612 Views)
Halfwing Aeon
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chuck norris does not teabag people...he potato sacks them
♪ Always~ I wanna be with you~ and make-believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony - OH, LOVE ♫
♪ Always~ I wanna be with you~ and make-believe with you

And live in harmony, harmony - OH, LOVE ♫
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Gunny
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Agents
It's well known I don't like the French(those in France, not Americanized ones) so...

Why do the French have rear-view mirrors on thier tanks?
To watch the battle.

What is the first thing the French army teaches new recruits?
How to say"I surrender" in 8 languages.

Just another one of my slightly screwed up jokes:

At the Al-Queda training camp's bombing class...
Teacher" This is how you properly wire the C4 to the vest"
"And now I will show you how to properly apply this device"
"Watch closely, I will only show you this once"
"AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
"BOOM"
Assistant teacher"Now everyone saw that, correct? This will be on the final exam"

Yes, I think this crap up in my spare time.

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Rebel
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Whats long, hard and full of seamen?

A submarine, someone had to do it :P
There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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Rebel
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HalfWing's face is so ugly we used his face in cookie dough to make animal crackers
There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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Rebel
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(Blank) is so stupid when he drops the soap he actually picks it up
There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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Halfwing Aeon
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Rebel
Mar 5 2008, 08:22 PM
(Blank) is so stupid when he drops the soap he actually picks it up

lol that ones good

oh i got one

when jan goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for humans
♪ Always~ I wanna be with you~ and make-believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony - OH, LOVE ♫
♪ Always~ I wanna be with you~ and make-believe with you

And live in harmony, harmony - OH, LOVE ♫
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D 2

Agents
that was crap Q: Is it rude to call a Frenchman a frog?
A: Yes, it is unfair to amphibians
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D 2

Agents
Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention?
A: Start ordering in German.
I got a tip for you , if you install the french versions of your favorite programs, THEY RUN A LOT FASTER
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow".

Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.
Q. How many jokes are there about the French?
A. One, the rest are true
During WW2, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops. The Germans then lit them and threw them back.Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? People were confused about which side to spit on.Q. Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? A. To get as far away from the French as possible
What's the shortest book ever written? French War Heroes
Why do we need France on our side against Sadamm and Osama? So the French can show them how to surrender
Q. Did you hear bout the French Kamikaze?
A. He flew 30 successful missions

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D 2

Agents
The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!" The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
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Daker3
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The Anthrartist
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- I'd laugh more if a dog wasn't hurt...oh wait, I guess that's the punchline. You know, once we start getting more members, I'm going to have to moderate these jokes more. But for now, go on.
Edit: And what about Napolean? He did well...for a while.
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Agents
yeah but then he go pwned didnt he jan
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Gunny
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Napolean wasn't even French. He was Italian. He reason he became emporer of France is because he was the only one with the nerve to do what he thought needed to be done.

Also...

Jesus is hitchhiking.
Someone picks him up
Jesus pulls a gun and says "The lord moves in mysterious ways...And tonight my son, he's gonna use your car."

There's actually a song that goes something like that. I'll have to send it to anyone interested.

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Agents
i never knew that about napolean explains why he was not the worst at first

womens problems ends all convesations
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Rebel
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why do we have terroism?
so we can kill someone and not get busted
There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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Lopez
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What do you call a parrot that doesn't eat.

A polynomial!(Sound it out, you'll get it eventually)
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Now my website, FictionPress
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