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jokes
Topic Started: Feb 6 2008, 05:41 PM (1,609 Views)
Gunny
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Agents
A man goes to his doctor and the doctor says" I have bad news and I have worse news"
The Man says"give me the bad news" Doctor says"The test results say you have 24 hours to live"
The man says"Then what's the worse news?"
The Doctor says"I forgot to call you yesterday"

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Halfwing Aeon
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W1 - Help
a few recruiters from the army, navy, air force, and marines were standing by a cliff argueing over which division was the bravest. the army recruiter said "the army is the bravest and ill prove it." he then procedes to call over a recruit. The recruiter says "see that cliff over there? i want you to climb to the top and jump off." the recruit climbs to the top and walks off the edge without even blinking. he dies as soon as he hits the ground.

the airforce piolit says "thats nothing" and calls over a recruit. "see that cliff over there? i want you to climb to the top and jump off, but do it with style." the recruit climbs to the top and swan dives off. he dies on inpact.

the marine recruiter shouts "you seem to have forgoten the MARINES where here!" calls over a grunt and says "see that cliff over there? i want you to climb to the top and jump of in a way that would make the marine corps proud." the recruit walks away and comes back carrying an AK in each hand and a grenade in his mouth. he climbs to the top, throws the grenade in the air, and jumps of shooting the bodis of the army and air force recruits on the way down screaming at the top of his lungs. the grenade explodes and vaporizes all 3 bodies.
the air force and army recruiter both agree that no one could top that.

the navy recruiter says "thats nothing" the other 3 look at him like hes crazy as he calls a recruit over. "Rookie i want you to drop down and give me TEN THOUSAND pushups." recruit replies "sir... :censored: YOU!" and walks away

navy recruiter turns and says "now that courage!"
♪ Always~ I wanna be with you~ and make-believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony - OH, LOVE ♫
♪ Always~ I wanna be with you~ and make-believe with you

And live in harmony, harmony - OH, LOVE ♫
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Rebel
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W1 - Help
why do women carry purses, so men cant find anything in it
There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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D 2

Agents
a womans conversation:
i got a new haircut
oh my gosh i love it so much
i know you should do it too
i wanted to but i dont know could i pull it off
totally you would look amazing

a guys coversation

haircut?
yeah


done
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Daker3
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The Anthrartist
Creator
- You know...except when I get a haircut. It's usually the joke of the day.
- Place a coin (In Rebel's case, a $20 bill) on the ground and wait for someone to bend down to pick it up. As they do, tear a piece of fabric and they'll think they just burst their pants. Someone do it.
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Rebel
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the 20$ told me not to do it so i gave it to murdock, and then he spent it, i wonder who shall be haunted by it now
There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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D 2

Agents
me
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Golden Pope
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Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of this incident...

Back in his party days, Dubya got behind the wheel after a few too many. He started the car and stepped on the gas. He was driving for a while, when suddenly a white ghost face appeared in the window. George saw it and began screaming.

He stepped on the gas harder, but the face floated right in the window. George floored it - the speedometer read 110mph but the face did not disappear. A white hands gestured for him to roll down the window. Not knowing what else to do, he rolled it down slowly.

The wrinkled old face smiled and said, "Do you want help getting out of the mud?"

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
Stop reading this...... You dont listen do you?
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D 2

Agents
knock knock
whos there
alladin
alladin who
a lad in shorts
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Golden Pope
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W1 - Help
Chuck Norris dosent consider it sex if the woman is still alive.
Stop reading this...... You dont listen do you?
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D 2

Agents
why do the french have tanks to retreat faster and safer
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Rebel
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advertising that wood prolly work
and im sry for bein a newb for the actual pic not showing up =/

http://www.hogrockcafe.com/billbo2.jpg
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There is no good or evil, just different ppl with different beliefs
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D 2

Agents
check out how many topics we have in general discussion
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Ridevans4life

Lower than Human
will u stop with the chuck noris jokes already!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are really gay and chuck noris is gay!!
WowThisIsRandom.Com
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D 2

Agents
we all belive that if the chuck norris joke is good we will put it up

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