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NS Family Counseling
Topic Started: Dec 7 2015, 12:16 AM (241 Views)
mousebumples
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I think we all know that NS families can be ... unique to say the least. After all, how often do people get kidnapped from one family to another? Or find out that their mother/wife is actually their father/husband? Or .... any number of possibly mind-altering concepts.

Never fear, however! Europeia's Vice President Trinnien Rylianni is a certified NationStates Family Counselor and will be here to help you (and your family!) through whatever may be troubling you.
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Almonaster
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The devil you know
Dear mousebumples

My father kicked me out and told me to go to hell. Most of the family backed him up. How can I get revenge?

Sincerely,
Almo Satanus.
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mousebumples
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Hi, Almo Satanus.

Thanks for sharing with us here today. I'm afraid that I don't have sufficient certifications to properly assist you, but I've passed along your urgent need to our Vice President and registered Family Counselor. I'm sure he'll be getting back to you shortly.

Thanks for your patience,
Mousebumples
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Joshua Ravenclaw
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Feederite Diplomat, Lecturer and Founder of Alexandria
Dear Counsellor,

My husband is a lion, I am a raven and one of my children is a spider.

Please advise on the best course of action to hold a family meal.

Regards,

Confused raven
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Trinnien
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Almonaster
Dec 7 2015, 12:21 AM
Dear mousebumples

My father kicked me out and told me to go to hell. Most of the family backed him up. How can I get revenge?

Sincerely,
Almo Satanus.
Dear Almo Satanus,

Family kicked you out? Get a new one! The Anumia family is always adding to their massive jumble of relations. And hey, just to quote one of my favorite people, Winston Churchill: "If you're going through Hell, keep going." Since it's winter here in the Northern Hemisphere, may as well stay nice and toasty until you can enjoy the warm embrace of your new loving family!

Sincerely,

Dr. Trinn
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Trinnien
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Joshua Ravenclaw
Dec 7 2015, 12:35 AM
Dear Counsellor,

My husband is a lion, I am a raven and one of my children is a spider.

Please advise on the best course of action to hold a family meal.

Regards,

Confused raven
Dear Confused Raven,

Wonderful news, Confused Raven, I can tell you exactly how to plan your meals and make it a family experience! With your eclectic mix of species in your family, you can all participate in both catching and eating your dinner, without any one feeling left out.

You can fly and scout your next meals. Your child can spin a trap made of webbing, and finally your husband can chase the prey into the trap. Thankfully, all of you will eat recently killed prey. Note however that your spider-child is highly unlikely to be okay with leftovers as they aren't keen on carrion, but just send that with your husband as he heads off to the office. Hope this helps!

Sincerely,

Dr. Trinn
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Lethen
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Dear Counselor,

I'm an Anumia, and I've been in the family I don't think I can ever leave it. I'm not asking for help or advice, just expressing the sad state of my life.

Not-so-sincerely,

Losing Hope in Life Lethen
Edited by Lethen, Dec 7 2015, 11:35 PM.
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Trinnien
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Dear Losing Hope in Life Lethen,

Don't fret, Losing Hope! There's obviously no reason to leave the Anumia family, it just means you need to marry into another one. I highly recommend courting a member of the Ravenclaw, Winter, Chastain, or numerous other smaller families so that you can gain a hyphenated last name and spread your own brand of cheer among your new family members! Best of luck to you,

Dr. Trinn
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Trinnien
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Just a reminder, the Doctor is in, and is glad to assist in all of your family issues!
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Bootsie
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I have a question, but this probably may not be in your expertise. However, let me ask it anyway.

Dear Counseler,

I have tried to find a wife, or a pair that would adopt me, with no luck. How would I find a family to take me in, or convince a NS woman to marry me?

Yours Truly,

Lonely Boots
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Festavo Montresor-Stark
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Pharaoh
Dear shrink,

I have been in search of a potential bride. I am a Pharaoh with an unmistakable charm and, if I do say so myself, hot as hell. I have had no luck. Can you point me in the right direction?

Sincerely,
Festavo Montresor-Stark
Pharaoh of the Osiris Fraternal Order
The People's Peep
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plembobria
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Dear shrink,

My father made my older brother king of Alexandria instead of me. How do I get over my murderous thoughts?

Not-royal Plemby.
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Kuramia
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Dear Counselor,

I am on the outside looking in. What's so great about being a part of a family anyways?

Kuramia Lady Loki
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fortunado

Dear Trinnien,

I fear that people find my obsession with sacrificing people, murder, espionage, position as minister of excommunication, wine, will to corrupt people's minds, and use of brainwashing people technology has made it hard for me to find a fool who will accept my hand in unholy marriage. What should I do?

Anonymous
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Orioni
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Well, since we're on the subject of family counseling and we're all anonymous here, I thought I'd open up: I've been having some trust issues even since being abandoned at the tender age of nine. How should I deal with those?
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