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The Random Thoughts Thread
Tweet Topic Started: Dec 5 2008, 07:40 PM (3,026 Views)
stein1214 Dec 10 2008, 02:46 AM Post #31
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timpickett22
Dec 6 2008, 11:39 PM
Who was the first sick fucker to drink milk?
Even more curious...who was the first, even sicker fucker, to let the shit curdle and then eat it?
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IUCOLTFAN Dec 10 2008, 04:19 PM Post #32
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Drive on a parkway, and Park on a driveway???
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eelbor Dec 10 2008, 04:30 PM Post #33
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I purchased a New Lexus for my wife. We were driving back from Kansas City when the left front tire came off of a truck heading North and totally fucked up my car. We had not even made a payment yet.

So... If a car leaves Kansas City @ 2pm travelling South at 65 miles per hour, and a Ford F150 leaves Tulsa @ 2:45 heading North at 57 mph, and the truck loses a tire, what time will it strike the brand new Lexus in Thayer, Kansas?
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"Liberal, shmiberal. That should be a new word. Shmiberal: one who is assumed liberal, just because he's a professional whiner in the newspaper. If you'll read the subtext for many of those old strips, you'll find the heart of an old-fashioned Libertarian. And I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners." - Berkeley Breathed


Meat is Murder. Sweet, delicious murder.
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kstan223 Dec 10 2008, 04:42 PM Post #34
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
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kstan223 Dec 10 2008, 04:44 PM Post #35
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
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IUCOLTFAN Dec 10 2008, 04:52 PM Post #36
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Kentucky has liquor stores with drive-thru windows............need I say more?
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brumdog44 Dec 10 2008, 06:45 PM Post #37
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I hate centipedes.
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brumdog44 Dec 10 2008, 06:50 PM Post #38
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The guy picked last in gym class
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The best yo' momma jokes are the ones that are intentionally unfunny.

Yo' momma so fat she eats cake.

Yo' momma so fat she has type two diabetes. Seriously, you she needs to stop eating or she could lose a leg. And then die.

Yo' momma is so stupid that her IQ is low.

Yo' momma is so loose that she has probably slept with more than one man in her life.

Yo' momma is my momma. (this one only works if the person is your sibling. Otherwise, it's just stupid.)
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Maker13 Dec 10 2008, 11:02 PM Post #39
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brumdog44
Dec 10 2008, 06:45 PM
I hate centipedes.
Great call! Damn, I hate those fucking bugs.
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IUGrad2003 Dec 10 2008, 11:07 PM Post #40
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There are few things that I like, but one thing for sure that I can't go without:

The fourth week in June.
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crveech Dec 10 2008, 11:49 PM Post #41
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Hoosier Daddy?!
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Maker13
Dec 10 2008, 11:02 PM
brumdog44
Dec 10 2008, 06:45 PM
I hate centipedes.
Great call! Damn, I hate those fucking bugs.
I hate wasps but I don't want them to hate me.
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eelbor Dec 11 2008, 04:07 PM Post #42
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Hey, Insects are people too. They have feelings.
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"Liberal, shmiberal. That should be a new word. Shmiberal: one who is assumed liberal, just because he's a professional whiner in the newspaper. If you'll read the subtext for many of those old strips, you'll find the heart of an old-fashioned Libertarian. And I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners." - Berkeley Breathed


Meat is Murder. Sweet, delicious murder.
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kstan223 Dec 11 2008, 04:49 PM Post #43
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Cockroaches can live for 9 days after their head has been cut off.
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kstan223 Dec 11 2008, 04:52 PM Post #44
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There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.
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brumdog44 Dec 11 2008, 05:42 PM Post #45
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The guy picked last in gym class
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Tom Crean has the same number of letters in his name as Bob Knight does. Oh, wait, he doesn't. Never mind.
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