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You're Welcome; Cassius Reed vs. Saburo Chino, Night 2
Topic Started: Dec 30 2016, 10:31 AM (83 Views)
Pete

OOC Note: The following takes place on the afternoon of January 4th. All cameos appear with permission of their respective handlers.

The camera fades up on an image of the Sphinx. As it focuses, it’s quickly apparent that it’s not the genuine article, but rather the replica outside of the Luxor Casino, Las Vegas. As the camera pans slightly, taking in the glory of the building’s pyramid structure, a hand quickly enters shot, pointing to something in front of the concrete plinth the Sphinx is sat on. A voice is heard out of shot.

??????? ????: “Yo, Clyde, I’ve got an idea, 10 O’Clock.”

The camera starts approaching the Sphinx, a little unsteadily. It’s still unclear what the hand has pointed out, as streams of tourists and gamblers cross the way, the camera picking its way through them like a canoe through white waters. As they get closer, the “target” becomes more obvious; a young child, crying, looking up and down the strip. The throngs of people are doing their best to ignore the youth, who’s hanging around nervously by the wall.

??????? ????: “You ready Clyde?”

The camera dips in acknowledgement, presumably as the cameraman himself nods in agreement. Suddenly, from beside the camera, Cassius Reed enters the shot. He pauses a moment in front of the camera and faces it, running his fingers through his afro, before giving a wink, and jumping next to the child, crouching down beside him.

CASSIUS REED: “There there, lil’ nigga, it’s OK, it’s all good.”

The crying child looks to Cassius, slightly confused, tears still streaming down his face. He goes to say something, but Cassius just presses a single finger to his lips, closing her eyes and nodding, a serious look on his face.

CASSIUS REED: “It’s alright, Cassius gets it, he does. You upset because Las Vegas has never before had the pleasure of The Cassius Reed Experience, that for all the bright lights and glamour and tigers eatin’ crazy white guys, it ain’t ever seen the Funkiest Wrestler in the whole funkin’ world hit the ring and do his stuff. But you ain’t gotta be sad no more, because Cassius Reed is here, at long last. See, it’s gonna be alright. Cheer yo’self up. Tomorrow is gunna be a better day.”

Confused, the kid starts shaking his head.

KID: “My… mom….”

Cassius’ grin spreads even wider.

CASSIUS REED: “Kid, kid, it’s fine. Calm yoself.”

A brief pause, as Cassius dusts some stuff off of his shoulder.

CASSIUS REED: “Everyone’s mom want to sleep with Cassius. It’s natural, don’t you worry ‘bout it. It just shows she’s a woman of taste, and possessed of a pair of workin’ eyes.”

Cassius brings his finger down. The kid, now more confused than upset, has at least stopped crying. He looks upset still, but is growing more and more frustrated by the fact that this adult doesn’t seem to care about his plight; it’s obviously a situation he’s never encountered before, and he doesn’t seem to know how to deal with it.

KID: “That’s not it! You’re not listening!”

Cassius’ face turns nasty, as he mimics the kid right back at him.

CASSIUS REED: “You’re not listening!”

The kid is shocked back into silence a moment or two, struggling to cope.

KID: “Who are you?”

Cassius’ eyebrow raises, as it’s his turn to look on in disbelief.

CASSIUS REED: “What?”

KID: “Who are you? You don’t act like a real grown up.”

CASSIUS REED: “How the funk do you not know Cassius Reed, kid? The Funkiest Wrestler on the Planet. Plan C. The Cassius Reed Experience. The Snake Eater. The Destroyer of Crazy Doll Men. Once had sex in a Gundam. Star of Back At It. Any of that ring a bell?”

The kid shrugs.

KID: “Oh. Wrestling. My mom doesn’t let me watch wrestling.”

CASSIUS REED: “Well your mom’s a bitch, kid.”

KID: “You can’t talk to me like that! I’m only 9!

CASSIUS REED: “Nigga please, Cassius will talk to you however the funk he wants, and you will like it. You don’t like it, go cryin’ to yo’ momma.”

KID: “I CAN’T! I LOST HER! THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!”

Cassius is taken a little by surprise, but then just shrugs.

CASSIUS REED: “And? How, exactly, is that Cassius’ problem?”

The kid looks on, his eyes starting to well up again. Cassius rolls his eyes.

CASSIUS REED: “Fine. Here.”

Cassius reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a couple of bills. The denominations can’t be seen by the camera, but at least one bears a portrait of Benjamin Franklin.

CASSIUS REED: “We in Vegas, right? Go find a woman to show you a real pair of titties rather than those flappy ol’ spaniel ears yo’ momma’s probably packin’.”

KID: “I’M NINE!”

CASSIUS REED: “And? By your age Cassius already plowin’ the babysitter. Now get your face out of Cassius’, and in between some plastic hooker tits. Go on. Get.”

Cassius shoos off the kid, who reluctantly leaves, confused, but definitely pocketing the money. He catches sight of a policeman, and runs off, leaving Cassius alone, sat on his haunches in front of the Sphinx. He looks up to the cameraman, and waves his hand in front of his throat.

CASSIUS REED: “How the funk ain’t he knowin’ me? Damn…”

Another dip from the camera in acknowledgement, before the image cuts.

-----

The camera fades up in a room, possibly in the back of house of the Luxor? It’s hard to tell. It’s a bit like a storeroom, with items of gambling paraphernalia dotted about; a couple of slot machines rest against a wall, a blackjack table sits next to a roulette table. A large range of chairs are stacked up in front of them. In front of all of them is Cassius Reed, leaning back against another blackjack table. He’s dressed in his ring gear, as well as his “The Cassius Reed Experience” NKP/Brutal Apparel t-shirt. He looks up at the camera, a smile on his face, as if he had no idea the camera was going to be there, and this is all just a pleasant surprise.

CASSIUS REED: “Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, denizens of Las Vegas and in particular fellow competitors in the Phoenix Wrestlin’ Iron King Tournament; Cassius Reed has an important message for you all.”

His grin widens, as he waits just the right amount of time before continuing.

CASSIUS REED: “You’re welcome.”

He hops up off of the table, excitedly walking about as he continues on.

CASSIUS REED: “The Cassius Reed Experience is here, to liven up your sorry little lives, and for that blessin’ each and every one of you suckas is welcome.”

Another brief pause.

CASSIUS REED: “You see, Cassius is here to bring FUNK to the streets of Las Vegas. All you other suckas, you gonna be talkin’ bout beatin’ suckas up and makin’ the streets run red and whatever such cliches, but Cassius is here to bring some CLASS to proceedings. “Duh the thing says Street Fight therefore me have to be primitive roar show muscle” FUNK YOU get out Cassius’ face with that shit. Cassius didn’t fly his sweet, sweet ass to Nevada to act like some goddamn caveman, beat his chest and wear a leopard print thong. Cassius here to put on a SHOW.”

Camera change, to the side, as Cassius looks over his shoulder coyly at it, with a cheeky wink.

CASSIUS REED: “He also totally wearin’ a leopard print thong, but that’s a coincidence.”

Change back to the front camera, as Cassius slides to the roulette table, and plays idly with the wheel.

CASSIUS REED: “This is VEGAS, suckas! This the home of the show! The home of razzle dazzle! The home of gamblin’! And you want to know what’s a safe bet in this fight? CASSIUS. How can I promise you that? It’s simple. This is Vegas. You gotta bet on black.”

He flashes a million mega-watt grin to the camera.

CASSIUS REED: It don’t matter if it’s on the streets, or in the sheets, Cassius is here to entertain, and trust him, you suckas ain’t gonna be disappointed. Why you just gotta settle for seein’ Cassius beat the crap out some geriatric sucka, when you can see it done with STYLE, PANACHE and the most devastatin’ Left Cross in the business today. But hey, don’t just take Cassius’ word! CHECK OUT THESE REFERENCES!”

The camera crosses to some pre-shot footage. As the film moves from scene to scene, each shot features an individual centre of shot, their name and occupation on the bottom of the image.

BARBARA ANNE: WRESTLING STUDENT “Cassius? He’s amazing!”

MELODY LENNOX: HKW & CARNAGE WRESTLING STAR “He’s the best guy I know.”

BARBARA ANNE: WRESTLING STUDENT “He’s so agile and quick!”

JACKIE FOWLER: HKW WRESTLING STAR “He’s the good type of tosser, and alright most the time, know what I mean?”

BARBARA ANNE: WRESTLING STUDENT “And flexible too! Have you seen how he hits the splits?”

LAUREL ANNE HARDY: WRESTLING ARTIST “He’s the co-creator of Tittie Belts.

BARBARA ANNE: WRESTLING STUDENT “And have you seen him punch? OMG!”

BIANCA REED: WRESTLING STUDENT & CASSIUS’ SISTER “YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU AFTER THE OTHER NIGHT? GET OUT OF HE-”

BARBARA ANNE: WRESTLING STUDENT “He’s good looking, good in the ring, he’s the whole package!”

The camera fades back to Cassius, eating popcorn as he watches the video, seemingly for the first time himself. He’s shaking his head.

CASSIUS REED: “Dammit B…”

He looks up, noticing the camera is back on, and tosses the popcorn over his shoulder, causing the kernels to go everywhere, like a blast of yellow/white confetti exploding behind him.

CASSIUS REED: “SABURO CHINO! CASSIUS IS SHOUTING BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOU ELDERLY SUCKAS HARD OF HEARIN’ AND STUFF! CAN YOU HEAR ME? TURN UP YOUR HEARIN’ AID FOR THIS BIT, COZ IT’S ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN WORTHLESS WASTE OF SPACE ASS! You there? Good. The second thing all these suckas gunna be grateful to Cassius for is puttin’ your past it, wizened ass out to pasture. There’s only a finite amount of opportunities for glory in this world, and some old has been like you gotta come crawlin’ out your grave to take one from a younger, hungrier, BETTER, competitor? DAMN. People like you, you a blight. You leech around on the peripheries of the business, demandin’ special attention with your legend contracts and needs for stairlifts and jazz, and what the funk do you give back? NOTHIN’.”

A smirk, right down the lens.

CASSIUS REED: “Do you even know that this is a Street Fight? Has your carer explained that to you? THAT MEANS IT’S OUTSIDE. Wear a cardigan grandpa, Cassius don’t want your decrepit ass dyin’ of hypothermia before he throws your deadweight ass back into it’s place. DO YOU PEOPLE GET IT THE JOKE IS THAT CASSIUS IS SAYIN’ HIS ASS IS OLD.”

Cassius shrugs.

CASSIUS REED: “And Cassius don’t mean that “tough as old boots scary Andreas Lazerwitz” kinda old. Cassius means that “sweaty and flabby don’t notice you’ve neglected to wear pants today” kinda old. Seriously, Cassius banged chicks with less boobage than this sucka. Someone at least make him wear a sports bra in the ring. Ughh.”

Cassius dry heaves a moment, in an exaggerated fashion. He holds up a hand, with one finger extended, suggesting the audience should wait one, as continues, before standing, regaining his composure.

CASSIUS REED: “You see, Cassius is here from New Kingdom PRO. He’s here to win the Iron King; he really don’t care what sucka you put in his way, because none of them can handle The Cassius Reed Experience. He’s gonna take the Iron King crown or throne or whatever the funk you get for this, and he’s gonna take it back with him to NKP, and he’s gonna form Iron Kingdom CASSIUS, or some similar shit. He ain’t got all the details worked out yet. But that don’t matter. All you suckas need to know is that Cassius IS comin’ for you. Each and everyone of you that pop up in his path are goin’ to get knocked the funk back down. And for that? Each and everyone of you suckas, be you competin’, or watchin’, or jerkin’ it to the sight of this hunk of sexual chocolate doin’ what he does best?”

Broad smile.

CASSIUS REED: “You’re welcome.”

Cassius spreads his arms wide, and smiles, as “You Suck” by Pour Habit starts to play. The camera hangs on him just a few moments, before slowly fading to black, the music fading with it.
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