Quote:

 

A girl stood alone in the center of the darkened stage, the only light in the room emanating from the emergency exit signs that were forever lit. The dull red glow was just enough to see by, like a moonless night, but it also lent a sense of unreality to the last scene as it unfolded. She could see herself there as if from an outsider's point of view; standing there anxiously shifting her weight back and forth from foot to foot, her pale hand plucking at the collar of her shirt, right below the base of her neck where it always went if she was uncomfortable, and the lone figure seated in the audience, no more than a blank shape- thank the heavens. She could see all of this in her mind's eye, but she could also see through her own, physical eyes, which showed her little enough in this dimness.

The fear she had was black, however, every bit as dark as the now empty stage, a stage which, only a few short hours before, had been filled with light, music, and life. She began to doubt herself- what was she doing here, making such a fool out of herself? Why hadn't she left? Why- no, HOW had she managed to be brave enough to ask the other figure to stay? It all threatened to overwhelm her, but in the darkness, the pitch-black fear and anxiety, so much worse than being inspected or evaluated on her playing could ever be, there was still a light. In this case, it came from the signs that proclaimed 'EXIT' in case of an emergency. She wondered if this would end up qualifying.

All the same, that light gave her hope, just barely enough to light that auditorium, just barely enough to make her step forward to speak. She was making a fool of herself- she just knew it, but what else was there to be done at this point? She'd come too far now to simply stop and turn back, to sink back into that horrible oblivion that had held her captive for nearly three years. No. She was still escaping from that. This would be another act to defy that captor, which, in truth, lay quietly within her still, waiting to rise again. She doubted if it would ever completely fade away.

Was her hair neat? What about her clothes? Could he even see them in the present darkness that she had drawn around her like a foggy veil to hide away? If he could, then did they matter at all? What if... What if... All the ‘What If’s’ came crashing into her, one by one, in an endless parade. She would do it now. This might be her only moment. She took a deep breath to steady herself- it didn't work- and spoke to he who sat below in the comfortable chairs of the audience. She felt like there was a spotlight trained on her.

"Would you... consider... going out with me?"

That was it. She knew she looked like a complete and utter idiot now, but she couldn’t take the words back now, and she wasn't altogether sure she wanted to. If he said no, she would simply slip out into the wings of the stage and leave him his peace. If he said yes... well, she wasn't entirely sure what would happen then. She would react if that moment arose, and not before. She bit her lip nervously, worry lines furrowing her brow while she waited for the answer. She asked herself again. What was she doing here? She remembered, in a series of flashes and sounds, all that her mind could dredge up as even possibly having and impact on the decision- that ass she'd put up with in band to keep someone else away from her, how shy she had been in the first musical, all the awkward times seemed to leap out at her.

Enough. She stopped herself. What good was worrying, remembering? It was stress wasted on re-awakening stresses of the past, which did not help her present situation much. She felt as if the daemons were sitting on her chest like in the old tales of people with bad dreams, save for that she was awake. Where would they be sitting now, to produce such a feeling? She was all too aware of her futile attempts to side track herself- she doubted whether even a big debate would have trumped the one in her head.

And all she could do was wait, and watch...
...and prepare an escape plan, preferably one that let her hide somewhere safe that wasn’t the oblivion of before- she wasn’t giving up emotions and communications a second time- until the embarrassment had passed if this fell through, just in case.

metronome

Apr 7 2009, 06:43 PM

It's a busy time for all, life has eaten zee Knights!

Fortunately we digest well.

There's no problem with you guys posting samples and such. If it comes down to it (currently discussing the issue in the Staff forum) we'll nominate temporary Knights. So, good initiative Art, and thanks everyone for your patience.