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| So, is Tom Cruise's baby imaginary? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 29 2006, 11:27 PM (142 Views) | |
| Zybch | Jul 29 2006, 11:27 PM Post #1 |
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RULER!!!
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Not that I particulary care, its just that I was standing in a que at the supermarket and these damn tabloid rags were just sitting there, one of them had the fake baby picture on the cover. It goes like this, TomKat (tom cruise and katie holmes) have been parading about for the past year or so, all luvy duvy with their tongues down each other throats, then a little while back kat starts developing a wierdo pregnancy, I say wierdo coz the size and shape of her baby-bump kept changing and actually looked totally fake several times. You probably know some of the rest, the scientology crap where kat wasn't alowed to make a sound during the birth because these 'negative sounds' would imprint on the baby and screw it up even more than having Cruise as a dad. SO, afetr the birth, they want a bit of privace, which would be understandable if they hadn't been swanning about like media whores for the previous 9 months trying to get in front of every fucking camera lens in the entire world. Now, a month has past, and still nobody has seen the TomKat spawn, not even their close friends who are also in the scientology cult. So: 1 - The baby doesn't actually exist 2 - Its got a really bad defect (like looking like tom) and they want to hide it 3 - Tom is gay and only got involved with kat to hide the fact. - Kat is a whoring slut and shacked up with too many guys to count, one of whom got her pregnant but she doesn't know which one. - Tom was happy coz he can pretend that the kid is his, but low and behold, when the kid is dragged from the womb its 1/2 black with a huge dick (as well as his father). - Naturally they are covering it up till michael jackson can express mail them some of his bleaching creame to turn the kid white. My money is on the 3rd option. |
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| genesound | Jul 29 2006, 11:50 PM Post #2 |
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Los Angeles
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The kid was born white, but soon turned black, has a mole on it's forehead, a little dick and no balls, and a big nose and mouth. It's one of those rare occasions where several different swimmers from different donors impregnate an egg :ph43r: :lol: |
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| Leprechaun | Jul 30 2006, 07:24 AM Post #3 |
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Dismembered
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New Father Tom Cruise: so doc, hows the baby? Doctor: I have good news and bad news. TC: OMG, what's the bad news? Doc: Your baby has no arms or legs. TC: OMG, what could be worse? Doc: She has no body either. TC: OMG, what could be worse than that? Doc: She's really just an 8lbs eyeball. TC: Great Zenu, that's horrible, what could be worse? Doc: She's blind.
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| werz | Jul 30 2006, 08:27 PM Post #4 |
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werz
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I go with all the above. Both posts. But I have to go with zib, he should know, as it takes one to know one. |
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| cheeseman | Jul 31 2006, 01:00 PM Post #5 |
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Ultimate Member
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anything tom cruise does is fake :moron: |
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11:30 AM Jul 11