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| vice president of the nick cage fancl-...i mean, john egbert; wait, what's going on? guys where am i now? vriska? karkat? dave? anyone??? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: January 1, 2012, 3:38 pm (136 Views) | |
| John Egbert | January 1, 2012, 3:38 pm Post #1 |
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you; name; I go by anything. >> More recently, Bro, Sherlock, Rose, Ciel, and now...John. :D contact information; My email, momokiba94@yahoo.com, my DeviantArt, Cats-Eye-93, or my Skype, Eatingbagelslikeaboss (Sherlock). I am CONSTANTLY on Skype and check my email and dA evury day, so you'll be sure to catch me at some point. :3 other characters; I double over as Ciel~ basics; name; john egbert. and i'm used to things like this. geeze, ever since i started playing that game, so many weird things have been happening to me...! i don't even get what's going on anymore, i'm just going with it this time. age; 13. occupation; amateur prankster, god tier level revenge of doctor ragnarok, sburb player, and vice president of the nicolas cage fanc--oh wait, no you weren't supposed to read that...! race; human. i'm pretty sure i'm human. in depth; wait, is this another one of dave's jokes to try to get me onto a dating site? ha ha, dave, very funny! fine, i'll humor you again, but this is the last time! appearance; i'm short, but it's only cuz i'm 13! i'll grow, ladies, i'll grow! i have a slick case of black hair on my head, that i keep in a naturally fantastic hair-do that'll make you go craaaaaaaazy! oh sorry, i do that sometimes. i blame trolls. i've got snow-white pale skin. yeah. white as snow. look at the clouds outside. see how white they are? that's...basically me. i don't get out in the sun much...but white skin's cool right? right? um. moving on...geeze this inter-whatza-whoozle just got too complicatedly awkward... oh, i'm strong! i'm a fricken god tier, for cage's sake! one of my favorite things to do is swing around my hammer and beat around with it! ...wait that came out so wrong...my weapon is a hammer! no, really! dang it dave, I blame you! um...oh! my eyes! right! i got them dreamy blue eyes that everyones always dying to see! ...course it doesn't help that i can't see very well, and i wear glasses all the time...and they're computers, so the screen blocks my eyes...but you should see the glasses! i have excellent taste when it comes to eye-wear, and i'm sure you will enjoy it. i'm a pretty big fan of t-shirts, but even i get dressed up for the occasion. my suits are filled with so much swag, oh yeah, you'll be begging to...wear them, i guess. i don't really know what else you could do with a suit. oh, and i hope you loooooooove blue hoodies cuz i wear one all the time nowadays! in short, i'm a good-looking kid. totally everyone's type. picture; ![]() seriously?! that is the worst picture of me by far, in the history of worst pictures. screw you dave. screw. you. i mean not literally that's just gross, but...oh shoot women are going to be reading this, um...forget i wrote that... wait can't i just delete it an-- personality; seriously do you even have to ask? i'm so cool. i'm fly. i'm the best. i'm anyone's friend, and to all who aren't my friend, they'll feel my hammer's wrath! and this time, i really mean my weapon. like really really. i'm usually in a good mood; it comes with being a prankster, you can't let too much bother you. i don't like it when people pull bad pranks, though. gog, that gets me going! ...not like that! ummmmm...i'm nice, i'm fun, i know i'm funny...! and whatever dave's said about me being an absolute derp is completely fricken untrue, you hear?! he's a liar! don't listen to him! he's just using me to hide his insecurities about himself! i'm not a derp, i'm not fat, i'm not...anything he might've said! oh, unless it was good stuff! i'm the good things he says about me! wait...oh whatever, just don't listen to dave...! and i am NOT a dork! history; well, a meteor crashed down to earth, and i guess that's how i was born. don't ask, it's ectobiology stuff, you wouldn't get it if you tried. heck, i'm not sure if i understand the situation at all! but, ladies, c'mon, just cuz i came from a meteor doesn't make me any different! i'm still good ol' john, don't worry! so, my dad is my adoptive father slash half brother. yeah, i know, right? weird stuff goes down when you play sburb. my grandmother is apparently only my adopted grandmother and is my biological mother? and jade's grandpa is apparently my actual father? dave, am i getting this right? you're probably reading this like a stalker and laughing at my amazing skills to pick up ladies. respect, that's where it's at. i'm a pretty normal kid! i watch fantastic movies all the time! i grew up with them! i especially like nick cage, he's clearly the best. i grew up surrounded by clowns all my life. it's kinda creepy. i blame my half-brother-dad-adopted-dad for that. he's so weird. but i heard about this new game called sburb, and i had to get my hands on it! i was going to get it on my 13th birthday, and...i guess i got it. it took a lot of breaking my house, moving my furniture, and disguise work, to do that. oh, i should add that to my occupations! master of disguise! oh, and i should try to explain the game a little. see, there's a client and a server, and the server is the one that can control the environment around the client. or...no, wait, it's the client that controls it...no, the server? i get them confused from time to time... anyways, i got to do alchemy and make my grandmother-mother come back to life! i know, trippy, right? she came back as nanasprite. i used alchemy and created some awesome new stuff like my cosbytop computer and a sick neat hammer! then there was all this stuff about time traveling and this guy named wayward vaga-something. it was so confusing. i think dave gets it cuz he's the one time-traveling and causing all this stupid stuff to happen that had to happen because we would've died...but I dunno. i just got confused. and I had to fight all these imps that looked like creepy clowns. and get this stuff called 'grist', and gain levels. and it was like someone was constantly trolling me! these alien people! they are literally trolls! well...they're okay, i guess. i mean, karkat and vriska are pretty okay...and that blind chick is sometimes...but she scares me too. anyways, i died in one timeline, so dave had to come back and save the day i guess. yeah, don't strain yourself too hard, it doesn't make sense. so, i lived in another time line and i was being a boss at the game. then i guess i died again after going through all these gates and stuff and got trolled a lot more. oh wait, no, i died after a ton of other stuff happened. i made clones of everyone that ended being up us or something, and i made our guardians / parents / adoptive parents / dohickeys. and i dreamed of prospit a lot and tried to get a ring and reunite with my parents. speaking of reuniting, i got, like, 20 chances to reunite with my dear sweet casey and my wife like in that one nicolas cage movie. it was ridiculously insane! i also put bunny back in the box. if you were cool, you'd get those references. oh wait, i was explaining something... right, anyways, we have to fight this guy, jack noir, who is really evil and kills...everyone. really, not to be all like spoilers or anything, but there were like 15 or 20 casualties caused by him, and probably a lot other salamanders and frogs and stuff that i probably don't know about. really. so he's apparently a disease on our universe, and we have to destroy this tumor... oh, wait, no, sorry, The Tumor. rose was going to commit suicide to get rid of it by bringing it to this green sun thing...or isn't it the Green Sun? right? well, i guess she didn't cuz she's fine now. but jack noir still killed me, which sucked. but then i got to be a god tier and got this awesome warhammer of zillyhoo, and i sent people on missions, and i can do this wicked sick windy thing! that's right, ladies, back to flirting. i can rock each and every one of you like a hurricane, with my tornado- oh wait, what if some 12 year old accidentally reads this?! i'm sorry ladies, but i want to protect the youth of...well wherever we are now, i think i'm traveling in space or something but i dunno. keep it pg, i guess. sorry, not pg-ladies. so, i guess everything's cool now, whoever's left is coming with us to another universe or something i guess. oh and i guess i should talk about my friends cuz i keep mentioning them. jade's a bit coukie, and she's kinda a dog right now. woof. hehe. sorry, jade! i'll be good! she's my sister, apparently, because of meteors and biology-stuff and bleugh. she's funny though. i like her! oh, not like that! i promise, i'm single! then there's rose. according to a certain troll i'll get to later, she's my future wife or something, because i can't marry jade and two guys can't make babies, meaning me and dave. she's confusing and stuff, but it's nice talking to someone with actual brain cells once in a while. well, jade's smart, but she used to confuse me a lot before eeeeeeeeveryone started confusing me, and dave...well, i'll get to him next. and the trolls are...well, weird. dave. gog, dave. i don't want you to get me wrong; he's my best friend and all. but...wow, he's irritating. he can be such a douc...jerk some times. almost all the time. he keeps talking about how cool he is and rips on me all the time! he brags about his raps and i don't even think he's that good! he barely knows nick cage! what kinda thing is that?! still, i guess he's okay to turn to now and then, and he's a cool guy. so long as he doesn't talk about his brother or smuppets, gog, he doesn't shut up about them. or his turntables. he's not even that good at them. i like his webcomics though. then we have the legit trolls. i don't just mean internet trolls. i mean alien trolls who also played sburb and kept using time travel to talk to us backwards or at least karkat did that. but that was stupid on his part. wanna know what else is stupid? gushers are made by the psycho baking bi...witch betty crocker! i used to eat them by the pound, but when i found out this???????? it just was too much. oh i keep doing that. i'll explain in a minute. so, as i've mentioned several times, karkat is one of the trolls. he's somewhat the leader i guess. anyways, he talked to me backwards, so when i fully knew him, he didn't know me, and when i didn't know him, he fully knew me. i think we're finally catching up together. i also think he's a homosexual whose using the blind girl to be his girlfriend to cover that up, but that's just me. he's also the once convinced that me and rose are going to marry and dave and jade are going to. he's obsessed with that. oh and don't mention cleaning products around him, apparently, in troll culture, they do...dirty things with them or something. older ladies you know what i mean. the blind girl...um, i dunno. she's obsessed with smells and stuff. moving on. then there's vriska. oh man is she cool. she was the only troll to reach the god tier. she's my patron troll, so she guides me around and stuff. too bad she died, though, as a god tier. so she's dead for good now i think. the way people die around here i can never tell. anyways, she has weird habits of typing with 8s because she's a spider-troll i guess. like spiderman, only with...grey skin and bad-ass horns. and she types in eights liiiiiiiike this so that's why I do it we were pretty close. it's too bad she's dead and all. she asked me on a date. i might've said yes, i mean she's killed people but that doesn't make her a bad troll, right? wait, why am i talking about this? this interview's about me! how did i get so side tracked?! wait, no, there's nothing between me and vriska! i mean we have chemistry, and not that i mind her being a troll and all, i like that, but...uh... i promise i'm single, we didn't date yet! ...so that's all about me. if you have any questions, please don't ask me, i don't know what's going on. finishing up; roleplay sample; (An excerpt from Ciel.) With an unsteady, limping gate, Ciel staggered down the stretch of sand in front of him, half-blinded by the sunset. His breathes came out in ragged gasps, with the occasional choking cough to break up his uneven breathing. Moving hurt. Being hurt. Seeing hurt. It all just hurt. Vaguely, he recalled the events that had preceded this moment; one moment, all had been calm back at his manor in London. Then, everything seemed to just explode. They were everywhere; whatever they had been...Ciel couldn't really remember. Though he knew that nothing of this magnitude had ever happened before, that was unfortunately all he knew. His butler had been in front of him, protecting him, but something shoved him down and...He fell for a long time. He might've passed out, or maybe he had just been falling for such a long time, it failed to register. Well, either way, he came to it as he had slammed against the sandy banks of this strange land, not even twenty minutes ago. His clothes, and obvious sign of his fair wealth, hung loosely off of his skinny frame as he staggered along, unevenly caked with grit and sand. He had abandoned his heavy over-coat already; the climate had proven to be too warm for him to walk around with it on. He had managed to leave it where the waves lapping the shore wouldn't reach it anytime soon, and tried to keep in mind where it was. However, the pounding in the back of his skull was making it hard for him to focus on where he was going, let alone for him to recall anything. If only he were back in England. Where ever this land was, how he got here, he didn't know. What he DID know was it was no land he had ever seen come in contact with before. He didn't have a plan for where he was going, in all honesty. Ciel hadn't thought that far ahead, seeing as his mind was quite foggy at the moment. He just focused on taking one more footstep, then challenging himself for another, and then another. Supposedly, he was looking for any form of human beings anywhere nearby, but the dull throb just... Pausing to wipe his brow, he squinted ahead, trying to focus on some object somewhat in the distance. It appeared to be a tad taller than him...A short tree? It was an odd color for a tree though, and he had never seen trees that tall...Then again, he didn't know what to expect from this land. He took a few more strides, trying to get a better look at the object. The 'tree' only had two branches that just hung down from it. It seemed to be coming out of two thin trunks, too, and had something in its hands... Hands. Those don't go on a tree. And it dawned on him. Ciel was finally looking at another human being, a girl to be more precise, with her back turned to him. A small flare of hope filled his chest. He was going to get home...He was going to get home! This stranger surely knew how to get to England, or knew where to send him to get him back to London. All he had to do was ask her where he could find a stagecoach, or if she could guide her back to somewhere...All he had to do... His staggering pace began to slow, even with the hope powering him foreword. The shore beneath him began to sway along with the waves, back and forth...back and forth...back, and...His eye started to close slightly as he continued onward. His body just seemed to flop, barely able to keep up with his legs. No...He had to stay conscious. He had to, he just... "H-Hey...!" he managed to call out, before he tripped on the sand. His mind went blank before he even hit the ground. Blacking out in a strange place is never any fun. member title; god tier and eligible dating ladies man. oh, and before i forget, master of disguise anything else; so, um, is this like eharmony or something? will you just message me after reading this? dave what do i do? if you're gonna put me on a dating site, you might as well- ... what???????? this ISN'T a dating site?! son of a fricken b- |
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| Dave Strider | January 4, 2012, 10:07 pm Post #2 |
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knight of time bitches
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hahahahaha oh gog egderp you seriously thought this was a dating site too late dude youre accepted can't back out now ![]() (i bet you look pretty much like this right now) |
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3:11 PM Jul 11