Funny Signs

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Funny Signs
Topic Started: Jul 21 2008, 09:18 PM (27 Views)
cavellia	Jul 21 2008, 09:18 PM Post #1
Wandering Soul Posts: 598 Group: Impossible to Gauge Admin Member #1 Joined: December 21, 2007 Skype Name fatalillusion501	Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT. Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS. In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN. Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE , 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG. 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.) English sign in a German cafe: MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING. Outside a second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING --- BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Sign outside a new town hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW. Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS, WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF. Sign on gas station: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL[gas] PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH, BUT OUR PETROL IS Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANY-THING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW Sign in Egyptian hotel: IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND SHOUT, "ROOM SERVICE!"



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