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Vidya Game Reviews
Topic Started: Feb 26 2011, 03:27 AM (11,982 Views)
Bigcalv2002
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Da resident crazy canuck!!
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AC:Revelations sounds like a good buy. I never played 1 or 2, but I had a blast with Brotherhood. I'll probably pick this up sometime in the next few months (Batman and Uncharted 3 are taking up alot of my time).
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kmr95
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No Flex Zone
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Batman: Arkham City
PC, Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U (2012)

Batman: Arkham City is the highly anticipated sequel of the critically acclaimed (and ridiculously awesome) video game Batman: Arkham Asylum. There were high expectations for Arkham City to be as good, if not better than Arkham Asylum. Arkham City lives up those expectations and to all the hype, if not exceeding these expectations. Batman: Arkham City is getting rave reviews from all the major critics. It slaps the "shitty sequel" or "sophomore slump" stereotype in the face.


Setting
*Warning, contains spoilers*

The story of Batman: Arkham City begins not too long after Batman: Arkham Asylum ends. After Joker's attempted breakout in Arkham Asylum, and the chaos that ensues in Arkham Island after the attempted breakout, many things change in the world of Batman.

One year after Batman defeats the Joker, foils Joker's crazy plans and restores order to Arkham Island, former Warden of Arkham Asylum, Quincy Sharp, who let Joker escape claims responsibility for stopping the Joker, and is elected Mayor of Gotham City. After his election, he changes Gotham completely. Arkham Asylum is deemed impractical and unsafe for harboring the criminally insane, and Blackgate Penitentiary is deemed impractical to harbor the criminals of Gotham. As a replacement of both facilities, Sharp buys a section of the city, then walls it off and isolates it from the rest of Gotham, and names it Arkham City. Doctor Hugo Strange, who disappeared off the face of the earth at one point STRANGELY (punny, isn't it?) comes back to Gotham and becomes the new warden of Arkham City. The inmates of Arkham City have their basic human rights removed, and are just thrown in the city to fend for themselves and survive. They can do anything they want in Arkham City however, so long as they don't attempt to escape. The standard for being thrown in the new prison/asylum is lowered, and anyone who has done anything wrong is thrown into Arkham City. Crime and injustice is abundant. Supercriminals Two-Face, Joker, and the Penguin form gangs inside Arkham city that provide assistance to the inmates if they so choose. The three gangs fight each other for total control, and begin to ruin the once great part of Gotham. Hugo Strange secretly allows illegal weapons into Arkham City, worsening the situation, and his actions make him a person of interest in the story.

Posted Image
Hugo Strange, plotting shit like the evil villain he is.

Plot overview/characters

I don't want to spoil everything for you, but I'll give you the basic idea. Joker is dying from the after-effects of the chemical called "Titan" that he used to try to defeat batman in the previous game. Titan turns an average person into a Bane-sized monster, and if you somehow go back to normal, it's hard to recover. Joker's desperate to look for a cure as his health goes down the drain. Hugo Strange finds out Batman's identity and tells him his true plans for Arkham City, and Batman must stop Hugo Strange's plans for Gotham's destruction, and the potential unveiling of Batman's true identity.

This plot is as amazing as the one of Arkham Asylum, and brings along a twist or two that will surprise you. The plot is very Nolan-esque, however just like Arkham Asylum, it gives a great blend of Nolan's take on the Batman series, Burton's take, and other films, as well as the original comics. Batman fans will absolutely love this game, just like Arkham Asylum.

Many of Batman's adversaries are in the game, and all play some unique part in shaping the story. You've got Joker, Two-Face, The Penguin, Hugo Strange, Mr. Freeze, and many more that I won't spoil for you. Catwoman is also in this game, and she is a minor character that you can play. She's a story of her own, and it is beautifully integrated with the main story.

Posted Image
Muggin'.

Even though it's cool to play Catwoman and all, it's also one of the few flaws of the game. It's not that Catwoman is a playable character, or that Catwoman's outfit totally shows her titties (how can titties even be a problem), but the character herself. Catwoman is known as being an antihero, someone who plays both sides and fucks around with Batman. In Arkham City, Catwoman's story isn't anywhere as good as in the comics/movies. All she does in Arkham City is do her own thing, and then just plays Batman's side. It bothers me a bit that Catwoman plays out differently in the story than you would think she would play out.

The other flaw in the characters is that of the average inmate Batman beats the shit out of. In Arkham Asylum, before you approach a mass amount of inmates and fight them, usually there's a conversation inmates have, concerning what is going on with them, or in the world of Batman. They are very relevant and interesting to listen to before going in to fight them, and it added more awesome to that game. In Arkham City, I was disappointed. Most Inmate conversations were all about the Joker, fucking Harley Quinn or Catwoman, saying "Bitch" 2304230490234 times, and other pointless shit. Only sometimes was there conversation like the inmates had in Arkham Asylum. Though, these complaints are minor considering all the greatness this game has to offer character-wise. However, you feel even better beating the shit out of them so they don't talk again, so that's somewhat of a plus.

Gameplay

The gameplay in Arkham City is pretty much the same gameplay in Arkham Asylum, except it's even better.

Combat-wise, it's essentially the same. One button to strike, another to counter. People criticize the combat because it's too simple, but I don't mind the simplicity at all. In fact, as you progress through the game, more combat moves and takedown moves can be unlocked, diversifying your combat options. So just hang tight. Batman's gadgets in Arkham Asylum return to Arkham City, and Arkham City adds more gadgets for Batman to use, and improves the versatility of gadgets that were in Arkham Asylum. This allows Batman to do more things than he could before, and gives Batman new challenges and even more options in combat.

The Riddler Challenge is back, and bigger than before. There are an abundance of riddles to solve, and Riddler trophies are taken to the next level and harder to get than in Arkham Asylum. There's 400 Riddler Challenges to solve, almost twice as many challenges as in Arkham Asylum. After beating the main story, about ~15 hours of gameplay, you'll need hours more to complete the Riddler Challenges. Challenge Mode is also back, and it's similar as before, and as fun as before. Fun combat challenges that involve beating the shit out of criminals, chaining your combo moves together, and getting a really high score.

There are also many unlockables in Arkham City, such as unlocking stories about Gotham, and the history of Batman. Character Bios are back too, making this along with the Gotham City stories an encyclopedia of the world of Batman. New fans of Batman can learn a lot about Batman, his background, and the background of his Allies and Adversaries. It's a great way to get into Batman's roots, the comics. And it's a great way of adding depth to this game, making it more than just a game with a story.

Posted Image
Don't even FUCK with Batman.

A new feature integrated in the story along with Riddler Challenges, is side missions. Side missions are new addition to gameplay, and keeps you occupied and playing this game for even longer. They range from saving political prisoners, to saving cops, to chasing down minor villains of Batman and defeating them, to preforming skill tests. They're fun things to do, and are as fun as completing the primary objectives in the game.

Also new in the game is New Game Plus. New Game Plus can be unlocked after beating the game in normal or hard mode. You go back to the story again, and start from the beginning, however Batman gets all his gadgets from the beginning. The gameplay difficulty is much harder though, new challenges arise, and defeating bosses/criminals is tougher. New Game Plus is definitely a game mode for anybody who wants a tough challenge.

The Final Verdict

Overall, this game is incredible, and is as good as Batman: Arkham Asylum is. You can make the argument that it is better too. It is an amazing sequel to Asylum and lives up to all the hype. Aside from Catwoman, the main characters of great. The plot is movie-worthy. The Combat is simple, yet fun. And the gameplay is endless. Batman: Arkham City is one of the best games released this year, and will be on my playlist for weeks (if not months) to come.

Pros
-Awesome plot
-Most characters are interesting
-Combat is simple, yet fun
-New Game Plus gives a harder edge to those who want a big challenge
-Side Missions in the story are fun
-Tons of things to do after you've beaten the game, that keep you going
Cons
-Catwoman is a shallow character in this game
-Inmates are also shallow and stupid (However it makes you feel better once you beat the shit out of them.)

Score: 9.7/10
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MrMarill
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Super Mario 3D Land
Nintendo 3DS


GO AWAY WITH THE 3D TITLES.

Volt edited my review and put a picture of Yume Nikki here. 10/10

I mean, seriously. Nintendo, as much as I love you, this whole "naming games after the system" is stupid. The worst part is that many people I know thought this game was a remake. Ocarina of Time 3D, Starfox 64 3D, then Super Mario 3D Land? I know loads of people thinking it was a remake. Come on.

Nitpicking aside, this is Nintendo's first original good game for the 3DS. It's the first good original 3DS game I owned as the other three games I own are all remakes. Which, by the way, is completely ridiculous. I mean, ser-

I'm getting off-tangent here. Super Mario 3D Land is the first game in the Mario series since Super Mario 64 trying to do something different. It combines the 2D level design from Super Mario Bros 3 with the 3D gameplay from Super Mario Galaxy. Does it work, though?

Well, yes and no. The main problem with this change is that it feels not as good as the 2D... and not as good as the 3D. For the first bit of playing, the game makes you just want to turn on Super Mario Bros or Sunshine, which isn't a good start.

For those of you who have not played a Mario game (which baffles me if you haven't), Bowser has kidnapped the Princess, and it's up to Mario to save her. You journey through the game's eight worlds, jumping from platforms to stomp goombas and reach the flagpole at each stage.

Like any Mario game, this is really fun. Super Mario 3D Land is just really fun, and you'll want to go through the eight worlds. The control is even more perfect than before, and if you die, it is your fault, guaranteed. While at first it feels weird if you've played another Mario game, the addictive gameplay and great level design will keep you playing.

On the controls, Mario actually has a few new moves. ...Okay, he has one new move, but some of his other moves have been changed. The triple jump has been removed. The crouch jump must be charged and goes the same height. However, you can now do a roll which breaks blocks, and if you jump during it, you do a long jump. The long jump also got heavily nerfed from Super Mario Galaxy so you can't just spam it to GodSpeed every level. One thing that's interesting is that this game has the run button from the 2D games. The first level feels slow but I can promise you, when you're sprinting through the later levels with life itself trying to murder you, this game is anything but slow.

Of course, the one thing everyone was looking forward to was the return of the Tanooki Suit. Now, I'd like to take this moment to point out the leaf actually gave Mario the Raccoon Suit, which was merely a raccoon tail and ears. Yet more nitpicking aside, I will be the first and probably only person to say that the Tanooki Suit was a bad idea.

I'm not against bringing it back, but the way they brought it back is ridiculous. It is so, so overpowered. You have complete and utter control over Mario as he floats way too slowly (slower than the original by far) and the tail attack has such a ridiculous range that if you're getting hit it's because you simply forgot to hit the button. There are other suits in the game, but you'll never pick up something else. You even have a backup item, and it's honestly better to just keep the Tanooki Suit in the backup as well because it's just that good.

Speaking of suits, this is without a doubt my biggest problem with the game. And it's a problem that casual Mario players will not have in the slightest. There is one new suit. Okay, wanna count the Tanooki Suit as it's in a different perspective? Two. The other suit, which (*SPOILERS IF YOU'RE A WUSS LIKE THAT*) is the Boomerang Suit, is almost completely useless save for a few Star Coins you need to get with boomerangs. It's basically just a crappy version of the Fire Flower. (*SPOILERS END HERE*)

Now, here is the problem with the Mario series as of late. This is just an annoyance to me. Why is it that in every Mario game they introduce new suits, new ideas and other epic stuff and then never use them again? It makes absolutely no sense. What is it that made the Fire Flower a staple? Or caused the Tanooki Suit to be the only suit apart from the Fire Flower to make a return? What made the flagpole so bloody important? I mean, the flagpole is the ending in two games in the entire series (the original and Lost Levels), and then when New Super Mario Bros came along, every 2D game after that feels the need to include the freakin' flagpole. It's not even that. The Bowser battles in this game take place on a bridge. While, yes, the bridges get more complex and these battles are rather cool, they're kinda cool the first time. You'd think this was a nostalgic nod, but you'd be wrong. Even Super Mario Bros 3 had different bosses at each section. Every Mario game has different bosses for each world. So why the hell are there three bosses? And then, AFTER those annoyances, the lack of returning suits baffles me. The Frog suit vaguely returned as the Penguin Suit in New Super Mario Bros Wii, and then the Tanooki here and... what else? Look at all the great power ups over the years. The Hammer Suit, the Cape, the Shell Suit, the Penguin Suit, the Propellor Suit, the Rock Suit, the Cloud Suit, the Boo Suit, the Bee Suit and that's off the top of my head. Why do Nintendo keep coming up with ideas and then never reusing them ever? I like new stuff as much as the next guy, but what's wrong with these Suits that they can only ever be in one game?

Pointless rant over, in a display of total hypocrisy, I love some of the other nostalgic nods they've included. Some are really obvious, like one stage having loads of platforms in pixelated sprites of old sprites, while some are a bit more obscure, like one stage having some blocks arranged in the same pattern as the start of 1-1 in Super Mario Bros. I personally like this, in the same way Skyward Sword did this with the Zelda series.

I got completely off-tangent there, and now to talk about another big talking point of the game; the 3D. Nintendo have said it's the first game to really use the 3D. While the 3D isn't necessary to enjoy it outside of a very small number of rooms which have a "3D" button to tell you, it really adds to the experience. It doesn't blow your head off with the 3D and I've actually been able to play three hours straight and feel fine after stopping. It's really easy to judge your distance from platforms, obviously, and also it just looks fantastic. Some levels have a section where you fall really far and it just looks amazing. This is the first game on the 3DS I can actually say the console was made for.

And what about those levels? First things first, this game has so many unlockables it'll constantly surprise you. It's great. If you're going to be getting this game no matter what, then you don't need to read the next spoiler, but otherwise you need to know it. You will power through the first six worlds in two hours flat. I did the eight worlds in two and a half hours and was seriously considering trading it in, and giving the game a seven or something. It was just so easy. I mean, sure, some levels were challenging but nothing impossible. And after the credits roll... You unlock the special worlds.

Yes, the special worlds. There's double the amount of levels in these special worlds. Some of them are remade versions of older levels, brutally difficult, and some are new ones... brutally difficult. The challenge is quite difficult, and then the final levels explode. At this point you probably have over 100 lives, so you won't Game Over, and you'll be thankful for that. Even for me, who is rather good at Mario games, it was really difficult and the most challenge I've had in a long time. That's not even taking the three star coins each level has. This game has a lot of playability in it.

Again in the same paragraph, graphics and music. The graphics look a lot like Super Mario Galaxy, just not quite as realistic. They do the job well and show what the system can do. I just don't like the fact that the animations are basically the same as even in Super Mario Sunshine, but that's back to my previous rant again. Some of the little details, like the snow falling off blocks as you hit them and the flowers burning as you throw fire at them are neat touches. In terms of music, I actually feel it's the weakest soundtrack in a while. It's a bad sign when the best tracks are the remade versions of the airships and mountain stages from Super Mario Bros 3. The main theme is catchy enough, but nothing is memorable like the soundtrack of the other games.

I feel like this review has been mixed, and a lot of it hating on the Mario series, but the game is definitely good. It's the best game on 3DS at the moment except OoT3D, and definitely worth owning. If you love Mario, you should get it, and even if not, it's a different style. If you're a completionist, you'll be playing this game for a long time.

Pros
-Great control
-3D looks amazing
-Fantastic level design
-New gameplay for the Mario series

Cons
-Annoying unoriginality at times
-The music is very forgettable

Rating: 9.3/10
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MrMarill
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Professor Layton and the Curious Village
Nintendo DS


I'm a little bit late, but here is Professor Layton. It's a puzzle game for the Nintendo DS released in 2007 to great critical reception among other things. I actually played the sequel, Pandora's Box, before this, so I had a fair idea of stuff. That was a few years ago, and there are a few things that you should note.

You guys are probably not puzzle fans. Maybe conquering the puzzles in games like Zelda or whatever are great, but actually sitting down and working out a puzzle is not what you enjoy doing, or would spend your time willingly doing. I agree. For the most part, I'd much rather play an action packed game than do puzzles. Which is why Professor Layton is so good.

Professor Layton plays like an interactive mystery novel. Layton hears that a Baron has left an enormous fortune to whoever can find the "golden apple", and decides to go to the titular curious village to investigate. He seems to be the only person in the entirety of the world to think this village might be worth visiting, even though that's not addressed in the plot. As cliche'd as that all sounds, things soon get interesting as one of the people living at the late Baron's mansion is murdered (yes, murdered in what is commonly considered a kid's game) and along with finding the Golden Apple and what the hell is wrong with this curious village, you'll be trying to work out who killed this person.

A few of the puzzles are actually to do with the story. The first one is about a map to get to the village, the next one is how to lower the draw bridge et cetera. However, the majority of the game's 120 puzzles are just ones thought up by villagers who say "Oh, wanna do a puzzle?" or something to that effect, or Layton going "Luke, how about this puzzle I just happened to remember?" What's interesting is that these puzzles are all actually very good, and with the exception of a few very easy ones, they actually make you think. They're all different types, too. There are mathematical ones, ones based around analysing wording and ones based round visuals. It's a very nice balance and each puzzle is different, again save a few which are harder variations of earlier puzzles.

Inside the curious village, the game is a point and click adventure. WAIT, COME BACK! It's not that bad. Unlike most point and click games, in this game it is quite obvious where to go basically all the time. To keep things slightly interesting, there are "Hint Coins" used to... uh... buy hints for the puzzles you just can't work out hidden in each area. And what purdy areas they are. For once not putting graphics/music together, the areas in Curious Village look very samey but the art style is fantastic. The cut scenes are like cartoons and are animated very smoothly, and with the exception of Luke's annoyingly high pitched voice actor, are voiced very well. The puzzles themselves make things clear and have a very nice non serious look to them. One complaint, though, is like I said before; the places look very samey and predictable. There'll be no areas in the game that make you go "Wow, that looks good" like, say, Final Fantasy XIII.

As you do puzzles, you'll unlock extra stuff in the Professor's trunk, AKA the pause menu. Strange gizmos, puzzle pieces or stuff for the Inn can be used in minigames to get... I don't know. The problem with these is that the Inn doesn't do anything and the gizmos/puzzle pieces only do stuff if you get every single one, which you almost certainly won't do for a long time, and considering the puzzles that give you these things are completely unknown, this leaves this feature useless.

So far I've made the game out to be very meh. The puzzles are good, but unless you're into that sort of thing, it's not going to be anything mindblowing. I felt, though, that the puzzles were a small part of it compared to the game's story. In fact, the game's story merely lampshades the fact everyone loves puzzles in this town and that you need to have completed a certain amount to pass through areas and that's about it about puzzles. The actual story takes twists and turns and foreshadows beautifully. Also great is two things in the Trunk; the Professor's Journal and Mysteries. Forgot where you're meant to be going? The Journal has all the plot points in the game covered. The Mysteries reminds you of anything, no matter how long ago it was, mysterious and unanswered. These are quite nice, and as each Mystery is solved, a stamp goes on each.

The story itself has very few holes in it and explains everything brilliantly. It's enjoyable, and the puzzles become more of a side thing as you want to find out what happens next in the curious village. However, that all said, the ending was slightly underwhelming. Again, story wise it was good- it resolved everything well- but it had a plot twist that I think was pretty much impossible for anyone to even vaguely see coming and the Professor shrugs it off as if he knew all along. The main problem with the ending is that there's no "final boss puzzle" or anything. The game kinda... stops. It's a long ending cutscene and I was expecting the game to ask me something puzzling, but nope. That all said, the story is still very good.

In terms of music, it's one of the most forgettable soundtracks in video game history, but in honesty, what were you expecting? The game's environments all sound French for some reason, and it all sounds the same. It gets old fast. The main theme is quite nice, but it's repeated too often. The puzzle theme is also nice but I can't think with music on so I generally kept it off for then... and for the rest of the game, really, outside of cutscenes.

I wasn't expecting much from Professor Layton, which is the biggest problem. The story is great and solving some difficult puzzles is really satisfying, but the length is where I get a bit disappointed. This game took me 10 hours to complete, start to finish. I only solved 82 out of 120 puzzles, but that would mean the game has roughly 15 hours then, and that's not taking the playtime from cutscenes into account. Over here, the game still retails for a ridiculous £25, which is near new priced for DS, and that's unacceptable for a game which is merely above average. It's not worth it in the slightest. It makes this game the perfect game to rent, though, as the story gets interesting fairly early on and it is quite short, so you can finish it in two days if you put your mind to it.

I'd like to see Layton come back with a different type of game more suited to my style, but that won't happen. Alternatively a longer game more focused on the story. He'd also be cool to see in Smash Bros as, despite first impressions, he's quite the badass.

This game is a fun distraction, but not worth the money. If you're looking for a good story, try renting it.

Pros
-Great story
-Very good sense of satisfaction after puzzles
-Fantastic, original puzzles

Cons
-Weak ending in ways
-Length
-Music is very dry

Rating: 7.2/10
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failureatlife
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I'm thinking about doing a Mass Effect/Mass Effect 2 double review extravaganza thing.
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DrFreshey
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I think some company should create a wrestling game. It'd be like the UFC games, but with a mat instead of an octagon, and a fuckload of grapples in lieu of strikes.
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MrMarill
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Mario Kart 7
Nintendo 3DS

Long review warning

I didn't want to do a review for this game "already", as such, as I only got it two days ago, but I've been playing it basically non-stop since Christmas, so I've covered basically every feature. Except Battles because they suck and always have sucked and I have NO IDEA why people like them.

This is kinda an ironic title in that they called this one Mario Kart 7, when like every single other first party title has been called "_____ 3D". Especially considering we've got MK64, MKDS and MKW. But whatever.

The 7 is actually a theme that appears regularly in Mario Kart 7, but I'll get onto that later. I assume everyone just wants to know if the game is as broken as Mario Kart Wii.

Well, wait for a second, I'll get to that later too. First off, characters and karts.

Bikes are gone, replaced with customisable vehicles. There are (I believe) four classes now, but to be honest I've only used my beautiful Koopa and no one else, so I can't really tell you how the others are. However, the interesting thing is that every racer actually shares the same karting parts. This means that my favourite combination with Koopa, which has great Speed, Acceleration and Handling, could be on Bowser with higher Speed, lower Acceleration and lower Handling because of Bowser's large category.

Most of the combinations you can make with the lower class give you good Handling and Acceleration and bad Speed and so on, but the amount of customisable options means you can make basically any option you want. This makes characters a lot more balanced, and it's really up to you which one you prefer. While the Speed of a kart is obviously very important, to me the Handling stat of a kart is the most important. It took me a few tries 'till I got my current one, which just felt absolutely perfect.

Nintendo have also done away with some of the stats from Mario Kart Wii. Now there's only Speed, Acceleration, Weight, Handling and Off-Road to worry about. All except Off-Road are very important, but Off-Road is kinda useful I guess if shit goes wrong... which happens regularly. In this game, Weight plays more of a role than how much you push stuff round. As you may have seen in the trailers, jumping off certain ramps pulls out your hang-glider, and you can glide round the tracks. The weight changes how things go here. The heavier you are, the faster you fall, but the faster you go (cuz that's how Physics works, right?). The lighter you are, vice versa.

Hang-gliding is an absolutely fantastic addition to the series and if it doesn't stay for future games I will flip bitches. It is easily the best thing they've added since Double Dash's two racers in one kart. Your hang-glider only comes out off a blue ramp, so you'll know where you're taking it out. You can trick off these as well for an added boost.

Depending on the track, sometimes it's better to instantly go for the ground, and sometimes it's better to stay in the air. When diving you pick up speed, and you can then use the speed to climb back up. If you manage to hit the edge of a ramp or the top of a pipe or something, you can trick off it and bounce away, continuing your hang-glider for an extra bit of distance. Then there's some tracks that, with a bit of skill, you can just skip entire corners and land safely into a powerslide. With a mushroom (in Time Trials, you start each Time Trial with three mushrooms for all three laps at your disposal), you can climb while gaining/keeping speed, so you can imagine the ridiculously amazing shortcuts you can pull off with that.

The other heavily advertised new feature is underwater driving, which doesn't have nearly as much impact, but is still a welcome addition. You drive slower underwater, so you'll try to keep out of the water for as long as possible, kind of like in the main series Mario games. When you're underwater, for some reason your kart doesn't just explode. Instead, you're way floatier (as you can imagine), and as a nice touch when you drift your kart goes up on two of its side wheels. The control feels spot-on here, as in any kart I used underwater I was able to know exactly how floaty it would feel without even having to try it.

On the subject of control, there's actually a second control scheme to the typical circle pad. Press up on the D-Pad while racing and you'll enter first person mode, in which you can either continue with the circle pad or use the gyro, tilting your 3DS to steer your kart.

This mode is fucking awful and you should never use it ever why would you even CONSIDER it. It's ridiculously hard to see anything, looks annoying, makes it hard to focus on your 3DS, isn't consistent and it's hard to steer. It's completely stupid and the worst part is that Nintendo pushed this mode like crazy, kinda like the Wii Wheel in Mario Kart Wii. Which brings me to the stupidest unlock condition of all time.

To get a certain item/emblem/thing, you need to play over 100 games online, with 80% using the gyro. If you then go back to traditional controls, it takes it away.

What a ridiculously stupid unlock condition. I believe the thing has a secondary unlock condition, but it's absolutely insane (something like "get 10,000VR").

However, that said, the unlocking in this game, apart from that one thing, is done extremely well. The characters are all unlocked by doing the standard Grand Prix, and all the vehicle parts are unlocked by collecting coins.

Oh, did I mention they re-introduced coins from Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart Super Circuit? These coins increase your speed and cap at ten, and are very important. Each coin doesn't make a noticeable difference, but at the harder races and online, you will lose if you just ignore coins. I noticed in the Star Cup of 150cc I was getting destroyed for some reason, picked up ten coins and you're off. In addition, it's actually quite difficult to get ten coins quickly, so it'll probably take you a lap and a bit on most tracks to get them. Also, if you get hit, you'll lose coins, but more on that later.

As you collect coins, you unlock vehicle parts. Collect 50 for your first part and so on. I've read online each part you get is randomised, so you can test each one you get to find which is best for you. However, the best part about this unlock condition is that coins are in every mode of the game. Time Trials, Grand Prix, Battles (I believe), Online, Local Multiplayer, everything. So you will ALWAYS be rewarded for simply playing the game.

The second most important thing in any racing game (besides y'know driving) is, of course, the tracks. I'm pleased to report that the tracks in Mario Kart 7 are, without a doubt, the strongest in the series. The new tracks are all just good, with only one weak one in the sixteen, and the retro ones are also all the best picks they could have had from their available options (except the lack of Yoshi Valley from Mario Kart 64 why Nintendo why). It shows how good the new tracks are when there's a selection of stuff like Mario Kart 64's Koopa Troopa Beach and Double Dash's Dino Dino Jungle and I'm still picking the new tracks. The retro ones also got some of the new features in gliding and underwater driving, but these are slightly unimaginative for the most part.

In the new side of things, there are also tracks which have three "sections"; so it's basically one huge lap. One of these tracks is the weak one I mentioned, one of these is pretty fun, and one of these is the most mind-blowing Rainbow Road (the traditional final track of the Mario Kart series) ever made. Rainbow Road is actually FUN to play this time. I found myself picking this track online and actually wanting to play it. By the Gods.

The weak one I was saying is one I'm not going to spoil, but basically in the final section, if you get hit by any item, it's basically impossible to recover. If you get hit by something you're almost certainly going to fall from the narrow road or the long glider section, at which point you've dropped a few places, ready to get hit again. I was playing this track this morning online, out in front by some way from a good start, and then I randomly dipped to second. That's funny, I didn't SEE anybody go past me... and then I go to third. This is weird and I assume it's a glitch, as the people on the map are clearly behind me. Then I watch as the people the computer thinks are in front drive off to the right, because they're actually ABOVE me in the track.

Hold the show how did that happen.

I search the internet for clues, and with a long sigh I discover there's a glitch to skip out thirty seconds of the track, every time, with no mushroom. This is like Skyward Sword's gamebreaking glitch just way less obscure and something that was blindingly obvious to find if you were testing efficiently. What's worse is that people USE this glitch, so I feel at later levels I'll have to to avoid being obliterated.

One thing the game does well, unlike usual in Mario Kart, is that it teaches you. Every new feature or idea is introduced normally and then made way more complex later. I think it's no coincidence that ONLY Mushroom Cup and Shell Cup are unlocked at the start. Mushroom Cup starts off with the typical short, simple track, which has loads of coins scattered about. There are many long, sweeping turns. The first lap teaches you, basically, how to drive. On your second lap, a ramp opens up for a glider section, and you glide over the top of another section of the track, with coins hovering in mid-air. The first glider section in the game teaches you about the levelling in the game in a safe environment with no danger of going out of bounds.

The second track features more large sweeping turns, and a big hill, teaching about slopes. There's a shortcut which requires a mushroom next to a huge ramp over a large pool of water, the game's first dangerous glider section. There's also a fountain you can bounce off at the end of this section for extra distance.

The third track introduces underwater driving, with an instant jump into the lake. Half the track is underwater, and when you emerge, you're faced with a choice. You can either jump into the water again, keep on the track and jump into the water at the end, or you can go up the narrow path and glide your way over the entire water section to safety, past dangerous hanging rocks.

The entire way this course laid out is absolutely genius, and even now after I've comfortably learnt all these features I'm playing it trying to hit the boost at the final glider section to get a ridiculous jump over the final corner to beat my opponents. Y'see, the entire game has that feeling to it of being very well thought out. Mario Kart Wii felt like Nintendo were like "Hey, this'll be cool! Let's use this!" without much thought to how that would affect the game. Twelve racers, cheap items, uncreative courses at times plagues Mario Kart Wii, but none of that is here in 7. The Mega Mushroom, Thundercloud (NOT the Lightning Bolt), POW Block and many others have been done away with, and even the rare "Lucky 7" Power Up, which gives you seven power ups at once, isn't as broken as you'd imagine. In fact, there are only two new items, and neither are over powered. If you can believe it, one of them is a defensive item; the Tanooki Tail, which doubles as defence against shells and offence against anyone trying to sneak past you. The entire game just feels like Nintendo took everything the fans said into consideration.

Except... one or two things. While the courses are beautifully made, 150cc and onwards is still plagued by fake difficulty and cheap opponents. I swear the AI is programmed to blue shell (an item which always hits first place, which is cheap as hell and should DIAF) you on the final stretch. This isn't made any easier by the fact that blue shells can hit you during those dangerous glider sections which murder your time. The comeback AI is insane as you pull near-Region Record times and still get overtaken coming up to the line. It's 2011, Nintendo, get your act together and get rid of the fake difficulty.

Which brings me to the second point. While the game is a hell of a lot more balanced, with less items raping you sideways, blue shells are still there. I mean, the AI of the red shells has been GREATLY improved (they fly, they go round corners etc.), so what's the need for the blue shells? They now slide along the ground like Mario Kart 64, but they still go straight for first place so it's not like getting the item back in fifth or sixth is actually going to help you in any way, shape or form. The blue shell still ruins races, and without it the game would be closing in on a ridiculous score from me. I'm still giving it a high score, but when one item in the game is so annoying that it actually detracts very noticeably from the experience, that's a bad sign.

I've talked a HELL of a lot on this game, so I'm nearly done, don't worry. A great addition to the Online play, which kinda eliminated the annoyance of items, is Communities. The game analyses how you play/what you do and instantly downloads "Communities" set up by players and Nintendo for you to join and race against. You can join up to eight communities I believe and race against them in a Grand Prix of races everyone votes on. The game keeps a tally of the score of all your Grand Prix you've competed in so people know how good you are. The Community also displays the top seven racers in it.

The main thing about the Communities, though, is that you can set them up yourself or join others' with codes (this is Nintendo like) that they give to you. You can make your Community to be just 50cc races, just 150cc races, just Balloon Battles, anything you want.. Want to have just bananas as the items? Go ahead. Just shells? That's fine too. Absolutely insane, Mario Kart Wii-esque races? Be my guest, I'll sign you into the asylum for wanting that. It's a fantastic idea, and what's even better is that after you join a clan or make your own community for others to join, the game can then suggest it to other players as it gains more and more popularity, so you won't be seeing the same faces every time.

The game will ALSO automatically download ghosts for you to race against, like in Mario Kart Wii; but this time, it downloads SEVEN of them. So it's basically an actual race, but in Time Trial mode. All these ghosts are spread out as an actual pack would be, so even if the first place ghost is absolutely destroying you, you can still improve your time by placing third or something. Again, it's a very good feature. And the best thing about this and the community suggestions is that they're just shown by a blue dot on the home screen by the "Mario Kart Channel"; no big flashing alert.

FINALLY, the graphics and music. The graphics don't look quite as realistic as Mario Kart Wii, so instead they went for a different style altogether which is hard to describe. But I like it. Especially the character models; my Koopa, for example, looks the best he ever has, and so positively adorable. On the other hand, some of the tracks look kinda bland. The Wii tracks, for some reason, look downright ugly at points, which is weird considering the new tracks like Melody Motorway look beautiful. The music in the game is hit and miss. Hit in that the retro tracks still sound great, and miss in that the new music is all instantly forgettable and lame. It's a shame, and it's not like Mario Kart's never had great music in the past: listen to Super Mario Kart's Rainbow Road and tell me that's not awesome. As for the 3D effect... eh. It's good and all, but I personally find it hard to keep the 3DS still enough for it to work when playing a racing game. It does look nice if you can get it to work, especially for the big jumps for glider sections.

That was a hella long review, and I didn't honestly mean it to be, but for a game which is just racing it has a lot of content. Mario Kart 7 will keep you entertained for a long time with great tracks, online features and loads of unlockables.

Pros
-Great control
-Fantastic tracks
-A lot more balanced than previous versions
-Great online play and other features

Cons
-Broken computers
-Blue. Fucking. Shells.

Rating: 9.5/10
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Bigcalv2002
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Da resident crazy canuck!!
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Im looking to get a new laptop very soon. When I do, I will probably do reviews on Uncharted 3, Mortal kombat 9, and/or Mass Effect 2 (to get primed for mass effect 3).
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failureatlife
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Bioshock
Xbox 360,PC,PS3

Posted Image


Alright, this is set to be the first of three reviews of the games I got for Christmas, the others being Borderlands: GOTY Edition and Fallout 3/TESV: Skyrim. So with that out of the way, let’s get cracking.

Bioshock is an interesting game for me to review. I’ve always pointed to it when asked about quality single player FPS’s. But I’ve been hiding a dark secret. Until now, I had never actually played it. Thankfully, I have finished the game in full at this point in time. So this a 100% no-bullshit review. However, there will be some major and minor spoilers. Normally, I would never put spoilers into any review of mine, but I need to in order to better discuss some of my opinions of this game. So I’ll put up some spoiler boxes for those who care.

Bioshock is an FPS developed by 2K Boston(formally Irrational Games). It was released in 2007 for Xbox 360 and PC and in 2008 for the PS3, thus putting another game in the list of “Microsoft exclusives stolen by Sony”. No, I’m not bitter. <_<

Anyway, the game is set in the year 1960. You play as an unnamed protagonist flying on a plane over the ocean when the plane suddenly crashes. You seem to be the only survivor of the crash and are now stranded in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the wreckage of your flight. But not all is lost. You see a lighthouse off in the distance and, seeing how it’s the only structure or refuge you can see, you swim towards it. Upon entering it, you hear a soft instrumental version of “Beyond The Sea” and are greeted with this wonderful sight.

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Somewhere/Beyond the sea/Somewhere/Waiting for me...


This statue is of Andrew Ryan, founder of the giant underwater metropolis Rapture. You see, back in the early 40’s, Ryan was sick of arbitrary powers such as religion and government interfering with progress of science, art, and economics. He decided to build the city of Rapture as refuge from these, where people could think freely and progressively, where they could be free of social norms and conventions. Sadly, it’s clear by the time you enter the city that times have changed. Through a radio receiver, an Irishman named Atlas informs you that city has gone to hell and if you want to get out, you’re going to need to meet up with him and escape with him. And so the game properly begins.

Bioshock is mainly an FPS, so you can expect to be shooting guns at enemies. The gunplay works well, although aiming down the sights is mostly worthless and firing from the hip is just as effective. However, if you don’t want to solely be shooting things, you probably shouldn’t be playing an FPS you can hack turrets and security bots to shoot enemies for you, hack security cameras to send security bots to shoot enemies for you, or use equipable powers called Plasmids. You see, some scientists in Rapture discovered this sea-slug whose cells could be used to rewrite human genetic structures. This stuff was called ADAM and when experimented with, it gave the denizens of Rapture the ability to shoot fire, move things telekinetically, and even shoot bees. Why anyone thought that would be a good idea is beyond me, but hey, they managed to build an underwater city without anyone noticing. Also, plasmids are what set Bioshock apart from other shooters. When used wisely, they can completely change the tide of the battle or start a battle in your favor. Besides plasmids, ADAM was also used to create Gene Tonics, which grant you, the player, passive bonuses to combat, engineering, and physical abilities.

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NOT THE BEES! AUGH THEY'RE IN MY EYES!


To be completely honest though, while the gameplay is entertaining and offers a surprising amount of variety due to the number of weapons and Plasmids available for use, it isn’t the real draw of the game. The real draw is in the presentation and story. The dystopian world of Rapture is incredibly detailed and wonderful to look at. It has a very recognizable aesthetic, being heavily inspired by early 40’s, steampunk, and maritime themes. It never, ever feels generic and it’s really like a whole other world. The sound design also knocks it right out of the park. There isn’t much music save for early 40’s jazz and pop numbers. The rest is purely atmospheric noise and ambience when you’re alone. However, Rapture can turn from quiet to hectic in a matter of seconds. The screams of mentally unstable and paranoid inhabitants of Rapture can be unnerving at best and utterly terrifying at the very worst. The voice acting is also marvelous. Atlas, the man who first greets you, has a wonderfully thick Irish accent and while there are few other characters you encounter, there are plenty of collectible audio logs that unveil story elements and back story and are always a joy to listen to. The combined genius of audio and visual design creates a thick atmosphere in Rapture that you will be immersed in within the first level.

The other strong point is the story. It’s heavily influenced by philosophy and literature, mainly by the Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged and her view known as “Objectivism”(look it up).

Wait.

Ayn Rand…

Andrew Ryan…

Icwutdeydidthar

Anyways, the story is mainly told through either radio conversations with various characters or through the aforementioned audio logs. It’s not too visually involved but since the voice acting is a joy to behold and all the dialogue is wonderfully written, so it isn’t a fault.

Speaking of philosophy, there’s a morale choice aspect to the game. There are these things called Little Sisters that scavenge the ruins of Rapture to recover ADAM from dead bodies. These little girls have a shitload of ADAM on them, and since ADAM is essential for purchasing and upgrading your Plasmids and Gene Tonics , you’re gonna need to recover it from them. Unfortunately for you, each Little Sister is protected by a Big Daddy, big hulking brutes in diving suits whose main jobs are to 1) defend their Little Sister from scum like you, 2) kick ass, and 3) take names. These guys can fuck your shit up with a matter of hits, but with a little patience and skill you can take them out. When a Big Daddy falls, their Little Sister will run and weep at the corpse of their protecter, crying for “Mr. Bubbles” to wake up.

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Who's your daddy?


Side note here: Defeating my first Big Daddy was a gaming and emotional experience that I won’t soon forget.

So, with the Little Sister undefended, you can choose to either harvest or rescue her. Harvesting extracts the maximum amount of ADAM but kills the Sister in the process, while rescuing gives less of an immediate reward, but it’s promised to be worth your while. The number of girls you rescue or harvest determines the ending you get. The way these are presented and the extreme contrast between the “good” and “evil” endings don’t really live up to the quality that the game has been at. In fact, the entire last level is nowhere as good as the rest as the game.

[spoiler=Spoilers!]For reasons that I never really grasped, you disguise yourself as a Big Daddy and you escort a Little Sister so she can extract ADAM from corpse. And let me say that this is one of the most bullshit sequences in a game ever. Ammo is extremely scarce and enemies at this point have gotten fairly difficult to beat. On top of that, it’s a fucking escort mission. And the Little Sisters are both extremely annoying and irritatingly finicky about when you’re close enough to them for them to be able to advance. The final boss is also a little lackluster and fairly easy to beat.[/spoiler]

While those aspects are certainly disheartening, it didn’t color the entire experience with a bad light, only those parts. The rest of the game is worth playing, despite some flaws. Structures called Vita-Chambers act as checkpoints that you are sent to when you die. However, the enemies that you’ve fight retain the amount of health they had before you died, so most enemies can taken down with sheer attrition. They’re also free to use, excluding spawning you at half health. But you don’t lose any money, ammo, or supplies, so death is more of a minor inconvenience. But, as I said before, you’re going to remember the good a lot more than the bad.

I’d like to give you an example of the game’s genius story and narrative, but doing so would spoil a massive plot point. So spoiler warning.

[spoiler=Spoilers!]So, at the end of the second act of the game, you kill Andrew Ryan at the order of Atlas. It is then revealed that Atlas is actually the gangster Frank Fontaine, a savvy businessman and criminal who was battling economically with Andrew Ryan. He was supposed to have been killed in a shootout between Ryan’s men and Fontaine’s men, but that turned to be staged. You are revealed to be an artificially aged child of Ryan that was created as Fontaine’s “ace in the hole”. You were programmed with a number of mental imprints, such as the phrase “Would you kindly?” activating complete obedience. Fontaine gave you subliminal orders to hijack the plane you were in to crash it near the entrance to Rapture. He used you to kill to Andrew Ryan.
However, being the grade-A genius I am, I had accidently spoiled all that for myself. Even so, the story did such a great job at sucking me in, I regularly forget this. At one point, “Atlas’” “family” was killed by Ryan. In actuality, it was staged by Fontaine to mess with you a bit. Due to the amazing voice acting and immersion, I still felt genuinely sad for Atlas, even though I knew he didn’t exist. I feel that speaks volumes for this game.[/spoiler]

The verdict? If you like quality story, atmosphere, design, and presentation in your games and are willing to excuse gameplay that is still fun and engaging but not quite up to par as the rest of the game, get this game. If you like FPS’s in general, get this game. I honestly don’t think you’ll regret it. It’s a fantastic experience and there’s nothing else like it. (Except for apparently System Shock 2, also developed by Irrational Games, but I’ve never played it so :P)

So, one down, two to go. Would kindly read my Borderlands review when I post it?
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MrMarill
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Good review. I actually own Bioshock, but in the brief session I played it, I didn't like the way the game was almost too dark and looked samey. Everyone seems to love it, though, so I'll prolly play it after I finish my current gaemin' stuff.
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MrMarill
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So, I just finished FFXIII. Because it took me so fucking long, I'm not going to be stupid and do a review and instead Imma just add to what Ro and Lightning said.

FFXIII is fucking epic. The storyline, the world, it's all absolutely amazing. Squenix created a world with mythology and backstory unrivalled by anything I've ever seen before; so much they couldn't fit it all in the game. The graphics are absolutely beautiful, easily the best 3D graphics I've ever seen. It looks more beautiful than real life, and most of the areas are detailed and vibrant. Chapter 11 in particular looked beautiful and Chapter 13 also. The music was also top notch. The main theme repeated a lot throughout the game yet, unlike SSBB, it never got boring. The final boss theme was fantastic, and the battle themes in general were great. Some of the pieces I would listen to outside of the game too, which is always a great plus.

So, why'd it take so long for me to finish. Y'see, FFXIII's crippling weakness was not linearity (open world is ridiculously overrated), but that it seemed to want to be long for the sake of being long. Monotony. There were a lot of sections (I mean a lot) where you just did the same thing over and over. Fighting the same enemies and walking to your destination for an hour or two. While the story will be enough to keep many players going, it really wasn't for me, and I got distracted with other games over the course of the year. I feel bad for not just finishing it, but there were far too many parts with boring, bland enemies over and over or, in the case of Chapters 12 and 13, far too many cheap, long battles.

That said, though, the game is definitely worth playing. The battle system is great, and boss battles in particular feel rewarding and are a blast to fight. There's also FFXIII-2 coming up and... speaking on that, am I the only one who feels that's a really bad idea? How are they going to make XIII-2? The ending of XIII was so absolutely perfect that I can't help but fear FFXIII-2 will end up sucking. Oh well, hopefully it proves me wrong.
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LightningBolt
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I really didn't get a "long for the sake of being long" vibe at all, personally.
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MrMarill
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It was more that a lot of sections dragged on for no real reason. Look at Chapter 9. It's a good three hours, and in the course of the chapter, you spend two and a half hours doing... the same thing over and over. Same with Chapter 13.

The game's still epic, of course, I just thought there were a few negative aspects.
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Romanticide
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If I wanted to make that argument, chapter 11 would be my example. I mean, it has 64 missions, and a good number of duplicate/similar missions, all of which can (theoretically anyway) be completed before you move on to 12. Of course doing so would make you way overpowered for 12/13, but the point is that you can and it would make chapter 11 longer than pretty much the whole game.

That said, fighting monsters over and over again is kind of what you do in a JRPG. It comes with the territory. The best games tend to make this process painless if you know what you're doing. (Persona 3/4 come to mind here)

FFXII is worse about these things (well, I guess at least it allows you to warp around with relative ease), but I feel it's far more immersive than any other FF title, which offsets the monotony.
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MrMarill
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Other RPGs I've played weren't as repetitive as FFXIII, but I get what you mean. I mean, Pokemon is basically just walking in a straight line killing shit for the entire game, but somehow it manages to stay fun. I feel I focused a bit much on negative, I still really enjoyed the game, that was basically an explanation for why it took me so long. And truth be told, I did have problems with it even when I did my ten-fifteen hours of gameplay over the last few weeks, mainly in Chapter 13.

Chapter 11's missions were uninteresting for me, but they're skippable (which I somehow didn't realise until you guys pointed out you could just walk through the cave) so that's okay, I guess xP
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