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The E3 2014 Thread; In which we make fun of everyone involved.
Topic Started: Jun 2 2014, 06:12 PM (784 Views)
Romanticide
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It's about that time of year. I figure since we have a streaming schedule, someone might as well get this thread up and running. You know how it works: Post what you hope to see, post your reactions to E3 next week, etc.

http://kotaku.com/twitchs-e3-schedule-is-full-of-juicy-teasers-1584790308


In the department of things I hope for:

Bethesda announces a new Elder Scrolls. I'd personally hope for Black Marsh (Argonians' homeland) or Elsweyr (Khajiits' homeland).

Nintendo discusses the new Zelda, along with games we haven't heard much about like SMT x FE and Yarn Yoshi. We haven't heard much about X either, but we have reasonable assurance it's still a thing. Of course, a new Fire Emblem on Wii U would always be welcome.

I'm sure we'll see Civilization: Beyond Earth gameplay because of its release date, so I just hope that the systems introduced in the Civ V expansions are further refined.

Hoping to see some FFXV gameplay. We've seen some trailers and all, but I want to see if they'll be using a system similar to that in Lightning Returns or something altogether different.


What I expect to see:

Pressers that drive me to drink by noon.
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MrMarill
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DAT STORY TIEM

I'm pretty sure there's already a FFXV gameplay trailer somewhere.

I'd love a Fire Emblem game with full cutscenes for everything in FE10's style cuz that game is gorgeous. Aside from that, I'm not really expeccting anything huge from E3 besides Smash news, Zelda news and the new IP. Destiny looks interesting but I'm mainly interested in FFXV news as it'll probably decide whether I wanna look a getting a PS4 or not.
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DarkFlashlight
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it will take a toll
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#GIRLWOOD
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Snowman
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Berserker
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I want them to announce a special edition 3DS XL with a cool-but-not-too-busy Smash Bros design (maybe just the logo on the back of the top screen -- I don't want a thing with a bunch of characters on it) that comes bundled with the game for $200 or less (but probably $200). That's probably gonna be the first game I buy for the 3DS, so I wouldn't mind something like this (please not red, though):

Posted Image
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tfghost92
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swag on this dick, bitches
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bethesda won't announce the next Elder Scrolls game befor ethe name Fallout game. that ebing said, I'd like to see Fallout 4 announced.

BUT. if they do announce an elder scrolls, so it shall be named: The Elder Scrolls VI: Valenwood
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Pwner
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Surprise Nintendo presentation AT THE EXPO CENTER, where they announce new Zelda, another Metroid Prime game made by the original team, and a Xenoblade sequel. MAKE IT HAPPEN
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Romanticide
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theghpwner
Jun 3 2014, 02:28 AM
Surprise Nintendo presentation AT THE EXPO CENTER, where they announce new Zelda, another Metroid Prime game made by the original team, and a Xenoblade sequel. MAKE IT HAPPEN
X brah

ghost
 
bethesda won't announce the next Elder Scrolls game befor ethe name Fallout game. that ebing said, I'd like to see Fallout 4 announced.

No, I don't expect an Elder Scrolls game either. If I did I'd be setting myself up for further disappointment.

And yeah, I'd expect something like Valenwood over my suggestions. Maybe Summerset Isle; there's a lot of cool shit surrounding the High Elves that the series has never really delved into.

Also, I expect to get a lot of mileage out of this clip:

[utube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvRGDynDytU[/utube]
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Granskjegg
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Eg e husfar.
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What I want from this year's E3 is some seriously epic Nintendo news. We're obviously getting news about Zelda Wii U and the new SSB game, but I really want to see Metroid Prime 4 be announced along with some new cool IPs. Seeing a new Star Fox game would also be awesome. Maybe an adventure type game like the one for the gamecube, but with plenty of awesome Lylatwars-esque action as well.

I am planning to get the MK8 Wii U bundle after E3 to get that free game, so I really want Nintendo to make me hard as fuck.
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Romanticide
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http://www.siliconera.com/2014/06/03/nintendo-reveal-full-plans-timings-e3/

The URL is a bit misleading in that the only description we get is "games for 3DS and Wii U in 2014 and beyond". So yeah, I expect things like Yarn Yoshi, SMT x FE, more Smash, likely a new Zelda, etc. I also hope X gets a fucking name and release date/window.

I don't think there's a game I'm more pumped for than X. Maybe SMT x FE if we actually get some information on that.
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Romanticide
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we rumors/hopes/dreams nao

http://gamingbolt.com/rumor-final-fantasy-xii-hd-may-be-announced-at-e3

Fuck. Yes. I'd have to place my pre-order on Amazon whenever the placeholder page goes up. FFXII da best. I'd also hope that they're using the IZJS version of the game. Can't see why they wouldn't; one of the biggest criticisms (other than the glacially slow pace/Gambits not being available from the start) is that every character turns out the same in the end.

http://www.siliconera.com/2014/06/03/natsume-bringing-three-nintendo-titles-e3/

we can haz new lufia plz?

I know, it's EXTREMELY unlikely given that the remake of Lufia II didn't sell well, but a guy can hope. I didn't mind the remake's gameplay (it was fun), but story-wise it just wasn't anywhere near the quality of the original and arguably the first Lufia game, both of which had above-average characterization for the time.
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Romanticide
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Let's see...

Microsoft: They had The Witcher 3 and new Tomb Raider, both of which I'm interested in, but idk if I'd want either day 1. Still need to play the first two Witcher games and see more of this new Tomb Raider before I decide on either. Sunset Overdrive and Crackdown have interesting aesthetics, but bring nothing to the table outside of that. Couldn't care less about Call of Duty, Halo, Fantasia, etc. Some of these games are just concepts right now, like Scalebound and Phantom Dust, so it's hard to have any thoughts on them.

At least they kept it about games and didn't mention Kinect once, which is an improvement over last year. Not that it takes much but it's worth noting.


EA: They showed nothing tangible from Mass Effect 4, so they showed approximately nothing I give a shit about. Battlefront is something I'll get if enough people I know get it. It might be cool but until I see something/see people have the game, it's not something I'll be pumped for. Dragon Age: Inquisition didn't look like Origins, which automatically makes it a massive improvement. I'm cautiously excited after seeing gameplay that looks like it might be fun. Lol Battlefield: Hardline, dun care about The Sims and whatever else.

Nobody here cares about the sports games. Not even the sports crew really cares. There was nothing that would make me pick up Madden and don't care about the other sports. Lol @ the golf game having a trailer with an exploding battleship. Not sure if that's funny or sad, but whatever.


Ubisoft: I might snark about Valiant Hearts and how you can't really make an FPS out of WWI (minefields, mustard gas, trenches, etc), but at least it's not another fucking shooter. I'd like to see more of this, though. Far Cry 4 looked interesting, I suppose, but as with The Witcher, I'd have to play at least Far Cry 3 before I decide if I want this. The Division had a compelling trailer and I feel like I'd have responded better to that game if the trailer were shown first and gameplay second. Idk. Beyond that, Ass Creed felt like Ass Creed and I don't care for any of their other titles.

Aisha Tyler didn't detract from the show this year. She spoke minimally and when she did, she got to the fucking point. Well, outside of her lame jokes, but whatever, I think it's really hard to be funny/not awkward at these.


Sony: Oh boy.

We cannot discuss this conference without discussing the solid 40 minute block (of ~2 hours) that had only one fucking game. I suppose the Playstation TV thing isn't really aimed at us. We're all closer to hardcore gamers than casual gamers, so the odds are higher that we'd just get a PS4/some games and call it a day. $99 for a more casual gamer (or a parent wanting something cheap for a kid) might be hard to resist, though. Powers, though? Who the fuck was asking for this? Just seems like a cynical cash-in because comics are in and the target audience will eat shit up if it has a comic book's name in the title.

As for the one fucking game they had during this diarrhea of the mouth, it was Mortal Kombat X and holy shit was it gory. I know, complaining about gore in Mortal Kombat is like complaining about the cold in Minnesota, but still, this was gory even by video game standards. Some of those fatalities are just absurd. Not that this really matters because it's Mortal Kombat and I'm not a fighting guy in the first place.

Beyond that, Sony had No Man's Sky (which looks good) and a bunch of other shit I don't want. I'll pick up TLoU for PS3 at some point in the future, but the rest? Meh. I just hope No Man's Sky comes to PC. Don't think it'll be too much better on PC because it's not a graphics powerhouse or anything (well, mods can improve anything), but it looks fun.


I think Outlaw said it best: This isn't really aimed at people like us. Well, someone like me anyway. I know what I want and it's generally stuff that would never sniff the floor of these four conferences. The games presented at these conferences are the moneymakers, thus usually the safest games. That's not conducive to trying out new things/telling emotional stories. So we get more shooters/generally violent games, games featuring brooding white male leads, games with a limited color palette, games with a focus on ONLINE MULTIPLAYER, and all the other overused tropes you've come to recognize. Woo.

At the end of the day, there's nothing I felt I had to have. Even last year had games that I felt like I'd actually want to get when they came out. This bunch of games is mostly "meh, I'll wait for it to hit $10-30", with maybe one or two exceptions if I like previous entries. That's not what I expect from gaming's biggest event. It's impossible to be consistently wowed, but I can hope for a title or two from everyone that makes me feel *something*.

Hopefully Nintendo doesn't drop the ball tomorrow. With Smash, Zelda, SMT x FE, X, and Hoenn remakes, it should be hard for them to do so because I want all of these games, but if I've learned anything from E3 over these past few years, it's that you cannot overestimate the incompetence of any of the companies presenting.
Edited by Romanticide, Jun 10 2014, 05:10 AM.
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CALJR_8760
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I'd say it was a decent e3, but I was expecting it to be more considering how lackluster the two new consoles have been since release. The only games I really want coming out this year are arkham. Other than that there's uncharted battle front, and tomb raider, but nothing anytime soon. Not too say the other stuff was crap, just nothing to get excited. Sad because I was looking forward to a more in depth lbp, and instead we get one that is still primarily 2D.

I feel Nintendo should have a bit considering how bad the wii U has been doing I'm sure they'll have a bit too slow considering how bad they've had it with the wii u so far. My guess would be title not shown before being new Zelda, miyamato's new ip, a surprise or two, and a glimpse of a new 3d single player Mario. Hopefully all or by the end of 2015 with the exception of Mario. I personally would like to see Star Fox, Metroid, or Animal Crossing. Save F-Zero for next E3 if they decide to make a new one.
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Volt
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Keep Moving Forward

This year I invited a friend over for an E3 viewing party because why the hell not.

Microsoft:

Significantly better show than last year's, since they showed practically nothing but games. They actually showed more that I liked than I was expecting; almost every game shown I want at least somewhat.

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare: I gotta admit, for the first time in a long time, I'm actually kinda interested in a Call of Duty game. The jump booster mechanic changes up so much in how the game is played, and I'm in love with the futuristic setting.
Crackdown: When they first started the trailer, they name-dropped "Los Muertos", which made me think it was for a different older Xbox exclusive, Crimson Skies. I would have much preferred a new Crimson Skies game, but it's still cool to see returning IPs after so long.
Fable: Legends: Having never played a Fable game, I can still feel for the Fable fans on this one. After the let down of Fable III, I'm sure it's been a long, excruciating wait for a full, proper Fable IV.
Fantasia: Cautiously optimistic. I've liked everything Harmonix has done before, so I have hope that it'll be a good game.
Halo: Master Chief Collection: As a big Halo fan, this got me really excited. Halo 2 visual upgrade and the return of practically every Halo multiplayer map EVER is almost too much for me to handle.
Ori: This has my attention. It looks too adorable and playful to not ignore.
Phantom Dust: HELL. YES. This game was awesome back on the original Xbox, super stoked that it's getting a reboot.
Project Spark: GO TO HELL, MICROSOFT, WITH THAT CRUEL FAKE TEASE OF A NEW CONKER GAME. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO US.
Rise of the Tomb Raider: Haven't played last year's yet still, but it looked good.
Sunset Overdrive: Hell yeah, Jet Set Radio with zombies! Much better display of what the game is than last year, I kinda want it now.
The Witcher 3: Every time I see a new AAA open world game, I just sigh. They take way too long for me to finish, and I never really leave them feeling satisfied. Open world games seem to be all the rage lately, but I'd much rather have smaller, more focused games.


EA:
Compared to the bombshells they had last year that were Mirror's Edge 2 and Battlefront, this year's show was disappointing. There seemed to be even more sports games talk than ever before, too, which made it drag on.


Battlefield: Hardline: This game looks SUPER fun, oh my god. I'm in love with the whole concept of cops and robbers.
Dragon Age: Inquisition: See Witcher 3.
Mass Effect 4: I have nearly zero interest in this game, at least until I manage to get through the first one. Wasn't much of a trailer for it, either.
Mirror's Edge: Glad that there was some mention of it here, really enjoyed the behind-the-scenes video. The bits and pieces of gameplay has me excited, and the improved combat looks great.
Sims 4: The fangirl screams at its reveal were hilarious. Personally, I don't care at all about this game. The rather terrible fanfic that passed as a trailer didn't help.
Star Wars: Battlefront: Cool little behind-the-scenes trailer, but I expected more. I really would have liked some footage that wasn't from the trailer last year.


Ubisoft

Aisha Tyler wasn't nearly as annoying this time. I wish that Ubisoft would make an effort to be more professional, though. I understand that they're trying to be a little more fun than the more stiff conferences of the other companies. but it's very strange hearing "fucks" and "shits" at a formal press conference like this. Also, no Beyond Good and Evil 2 makes me sad.

Assassin's Creed: Unity: Once again, Ubisoft picked a good time period to build a game around. While the gameplay looks almost exactly like AC2, those crowds and environments look next-gen as hell. I've always liked how the AC games do immersion, and the multiplayer features are pretty cool.
The Division: Yawn. I really can't find any care to give about this game at all, nothing about it is catching my interest.
Far Cry 4: No, thank you. Far Cry 3 was one of the most overrated games of the last few years, and I don't see anything in here that will change things.
Just Dance 2015: GODDAMMIT, "HAPPY" IS ONE OF THE WORST SONGS I'VE EVER HEARD, WHY IS IT FREAKIN' EVERYWHERE. AUGADFGHUAISDHASDF.
Rainbow Six: Siege: This game looks fun as hell. Love that it's not fast-paced, and requires actual strategy to play.
Shape Up: lol.
Valiant Hearts: The trailer for this game was very good, let's just hope the gameplay holds up.


Sony:
PLAYSTATION VITA TV IS COMING TO THE US, OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD.

Arkham Knight: As a passive fan of the first one, and someone who hasn't gotten around to playing City/Origins, this game looks rad. Will definitely be joining my backlog.
Bloodborne: Super meh. It looks like more Dark Souls, and I'm not very fond of Dark Souls.
Dead Island 2: At least this time they have a much more fitting trailer.
Grim Fandango HD: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIII
LittleBigPlanet 3: Still need to play the first two to have any real opinion. That crowd response, tho.
Metal Gear Solid V: Probably my most anticipated game at the moment. This trailer just makes me want it even more.
Mortal Kombat X: This looks badass, so glad we're getting a MK game for this gen of consoles.
No Man's Sky: This game is getting me all sorts of excited, everything I see about it just makes me want it even more.
The Order: 1886: This looks like it could be good, although those are the ugliest werewolves I have ever seen.
Ratchet & Clank PS4 Remake: I'm interested in this, since I want to get into the R&C series, but the first game is really dated.
Uncharted 4: First one was pretty cool, might pick this one up down the road whenever I get around to beating 2 and 3.



Sony won E3 for the PS Vita TV announcement alone, but Microsoft is a close second since they actually delivered on the games this time around. Can't wait to see what Nintendo has ready for us tomorrow (or, rather, later today, this write-up took a lot longer than I thought it would).
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Granskjegg
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Eg e husfar.
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I enjoyed the last bit of EA's conference.

Posted Image

But the sports talk made me cry out in pain.

But at 18.00 shit gets interesting.
Hopefully they wont crush my dreams.
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MrMarill
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DAT STORY TIEM

This E3 wasn't even so bad it was good, it was just boring. There were like two games all day that were interesting and everything else was bland. Sure, there were games that looked fun but I pretty much completely agree with Lightning; nothing that I would get day 1, only stuff I would get with the price massively reduced.

EDIT: Uh, agree with Ro*. Whoops.
Edited by MrMarill, Jun 10 2014, 03:31 PM.
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