Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to The Secret Project. All your IP are belong to us.

Click this to register, but you're probably an user anyway because we do have any friends.


If you're already an member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Marill's Novel: "The Arc of Four - Seclusion"
Topic Started: Aug 29 2014, 12:32 AM (330 Views)
MrMarill
Member Avatar
DAT STORY TIEM

Hey everyone, you may remember "Seclusion of Magic", a story I started writing long ago as a game. Well, it has since turned into a book with a new title, "The Arc of Four. It went through massive changes to the plot and the overall universe over what's been over a year and a half of writing and occasional not-writing. It's not insanely long or short and I'd appreciate anyone and everyone who reads it along with all the criticism that comes with that. I'm looking to get it published but, obviously, I want first impressions and everything first.

I'd like to know if it's engrossing/interesting or not, what I can fix up or make clearer and, to anyone who finishes it, if everything makes sense. If there any issues with the book, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll attempt to address them the best I can.

It's planned to be a series of four books as the title helpfully indicates.

I've uploaded it to Google Docs here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TmnOm883dlOVF30AYgv7baqC2xZvmr4ROSGiyI7TADA/edit?usp=drive_web

It might be a bit laggy due to its size so, if that's an issue, I'll create a download link for it elsewhere. Thank you to anyone who takes the time out to read it as it does mean a lot to me but I totally understand if people don't! I know a lot of people don't really enjoy reading or don't find the time to so it's no problem if you don't.

I've posted this before but here's the prologue to get y'all started.




"I always thought I was different," she said quietly. "It's only really when you put it in perspective that you realise these things.

"I was missing something. I longed and reached out for it, this missing emotion, but I could never grasp it in my hands. Where was the hole in my soul that I had lost, but others had found?

"Throughout my life, as I grew up, I was always different to the others. Never quite excluded, but yet... there was something. Love never crossed my mind, but as a result, neither did hate. I-Is that not an ideal way to live?" she stuttered slightly, waving a hand carelessly. "Emotionless, drifting in my own little world of beauty, elegance and innocence. That's the key word here, innocence. The beauty and elegance is part of one's personality, but the innocence is their upbringing. The longer the innocence - no, the ignorance goes on for, the bigger the glass becomes until it shatters, raining down bloody tragedy on the innocent around it and breaking their glass also.

"Of course, I was naive to think that the world was so perfect. I should have known that difference leads to seclusion. The gears of fate were turning, and I didn't realise it until it was too late. As the gears turned, they dropped bombs, cracking the raw glass at its core, the glass so huge that it enveloped the entire world. My dream world of beauty, elegance and innocence was smashed and untold woe and misery appeared in my life and the lives of everybody that was ever close to me. It clung to our sick, demented world like a child to their toy; stubborn, and yet no one wanted to shoulder the responsibility to take it back.

"Maybe it was because I was different. Or maybe it was just fate. Power like no other rests inside this world, inside all of us, and we never realise. This power can defeat everything we see, everything we hate..." she faltered and closed her eyes. A tear dropped from her eye and mingled with the blood splattered irregularly over her face, twisting into a new, impossible to recreate shape. Another tear came moments after and the shape dispersed down her face, allowing the blood to run wet and flowing. She gazed downwards and gave the smallest trace of a smile.

"Everything you want."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
DucksFAN93
Member Avatar
The Sports Nut Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I'm digging chapter 1, you are a very descriptive writer. A little wordy here and there, but definitely wayyyyy more engaging than a ton of novels I have read. Great job so far!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MrMarill
Member Avatar
DAT STORY TIEM

I think Chapter 1 is definitely the most guilty of having paragraphs and sentences that run on far too long but I feel it's necessary to try and get across all the stuff I'm cramming in so early. Thanks for the compliments anyway =D
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LifeAgainstDeath
Member Avatar
Sexual Orientation: Not Picky

Posted Image

Melanie fanart that I forgot to post here.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · User-Created Content · Next Topic »
Add Reply