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Half-Assed, Whole-Hearted; Izo just wants someone to love him wholly and completely without corrupting them. Yuuki wants to show he can offer just that.
Topic Started: Mar 22 2018, 04:16 PM (4 Views)
RainyMemory
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Unconsciously, I think I have a knack of picking relationships that don't work out. My first relationship was with Skyler, who lived back on that godforsaken island I spent a year of my teen life on. She broke up with me because she didn't believe in long distance relationships. Which was fine, we weren't serious about each other. It was a summer fling, like all teenagers have. I don't think we would've lasted, but I keep in touch. She's in law school now, and I'm still an idol. We wouldn't have any time for each other even if we stayed together. That doesn't mean I was happy when she told me it was over, though. I would've tried for that long distance relationship.

My second relationship was with Mamoru, and it hurt so much I wanted to kill myself; being with him, and ending it. I don't want to go into detail.

My third relationship was with Ryouta, and that didn't end pretty, either. He's sweet and love-able and hands down my best friend. But that's all I could ever ask of him; was to be my best friend. He was too gentle, too fragile, too pure. I'm too dirty, too scattered, too dark. Even if he loved me so much he could explode with the feelings, I couldn't feel them. It felt like a one-sided love, and I eventually ended it myself. He didn't agree, but I told him the truth, that I wasn't any good for him. That I was good to have around as a friend, but in the long run: dating would hurt us both.

My fourth relationship started two days ago, with Yuuki. There were some random things in between. Girls I hung out with purely for fun, since the five of us didn't sleep together anymore. I confessed to Yuuki, which is how all of my relationships started, because I have a distinct lack of self control. Somehow, he returned my feelings, and I'm now spending the night in his apartment. I look up through my bangs over the othello board and I watch him try and think of what move to make. I love his troubled face, it's so cute it makes me want to squish his cheeks and give him a kiss.

Yuuki's had his own relationships. The most notable one being with Takuma. He broke it off with Takuma, and poor Taku was in absolute shambles afterward. He's doing fine now, though, and dating a rather cute actress who I've worked with before. They're both shy, however, so their relationship can get a little annoying. Yuuki won't tell anyone why he broke up with Takuma, he won't even tell Takuma. I want to know, but now that we're a couple, now might be a bad time to ask. It's my turn to make a move on the game board, and I have to mentally accept the fact that I'm probably going to lose horribly.

I loved Mamoru so deeply I think it's engraved in my ribs. Takuma told me once that I'm looking for Mamoru's replacement, and that's why when I fell for Ryouta, I broke it off. Was because, unlike Mamoru, Ryouta really was a sweet airhead. Mamoru was too, of course, but Ryouta didn't understand what it means to dig your fingernails into someone's skin and make them bleed after they got the shit beat out of them. I don't blame him. I'm a mess and selfish and weird in the head. But I'm not looking for someone to be my new Mamoru. I still have Mamoru, even if we're not an item. He's even one of my girls I fool around with in between relationships.
More accurately, I'm one of his girls.

Yuuki is a very risky love, and Yuuki knows it. Because of Takuma. But we're going through with it anyway. I've fallen for him, which, in all honesty, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. I've always admired him, but I assumed the worst of him because of his temper. Yet when he found out about me being abused by my old man, he proved me wrong. He didn't try and tell me what I should do or shouldn't do, maybe he would've tried if I didn't snap at him not to say about how adults are stupid but... he didn't give me the whole 'you have to fight back' speech. I remember feeling reassured by that, and my admiration for him just flowed further.

Yuuki and I are the same, yet we are also very opposite. He still has his problems, but he grew from his bad relationship with his parents and it even caused him to shine. I rotted. Which is a reason I love him as much as I do. I wish I could've shined from my pain like he did from his, and he even is in good terms with his family now. I shine on my own, but mentally I think I'm far from healthy and I don't think there's any helping that. Once you go to one bad therapist, it becomes nearly impossible to patch up someone. But Yuuki is so lovely, and he's got his temper on hold.

I love how when we kiss, he has one hand on my cheek. I love how he blushes really easily, and I love his troubled face. I love how I remember him in bed, all moany and pleasure hungry and cute. I love how he's so cool and collected for the news, and I love how he can be a dork with us, and I love how he can still be serious sometimes. I love how he eats lots of food and enjoys it like it's some glorious gift from God. I love how he's so good with problem solving, and I love his face when he does a magic trick correctly. I love it when he gets something right after trying a million and a half times, and I love it when he messes up. I love when he gets scared, and I love how brave he is to face it; even if he's screaming the whole time.

I want him to love me back, and I love that he does, and I want to feel it. I got into a fist fight with Takuma the other day, actually. On purpose. I told him about Yuuki and I, and he told me I better not be fucking around. I told him I wasn't serious, and I was just seeing what it would be like. He punched me so hard in the stomach I nearly fainted. I forgive him. Maybe I should date Takuma instead. He's one of the only people to hit me and I'm alright with it. Though I can't see myself falling for him, and he's got a girlfriend now anyway.

I told Yuuki, that I got into a fight. He assumes all fights scare the ever living shit out of me, so it was fine to tell him that it was with Takuma. Taku would get the brunt of it, anyway. So when I finally get him in bed, Yuuki is careful of it, just like Ryouta would be. Minus points. I pin him to the mattress and I rid of our clothes. Considering our past, when I'm in his ear telling him I want him to fuck me, it takes him off guard. He's never, ever fucked me before. He liked to bottom, I liked to top. I wasn't ever to fond of the idea of Yuuki fucking me because his dick is big. But I want it to hurt this time. I want to feel it.

Yuuki is more competent than when he was younger, so when he's kissing my neck and leaving little nips and I tell him more, harder, he registers it and applies but it's not nearly enough. He doesn't like it when I tell him to do me without prepping me first. He really doesn't like it when tears well up in my eyes from the pain because I rammed myself against him hard and fast. I was right. It hurt, it was big and it hurt. Yuuki wouldn't play along, so it didn't hurt good. I just felt bad. I asked for harder, faster, more, more, more; but it was physically painful on my end and we had to stop.

I ended my fourth relationship with Yuuki. He got really, really upset that I ended it over failed sex. But I couldn't take another Ryouta. So I told Yuuki flat out, that relationships don't work if the sex is bad because the physical stand point is important, too. It convey's your partner's feelings and one of us was half-assing it. I light my cigarette and sigh. It's likely me, that's half-assing it. Yuuki's not into fucking me so hard I feel like my butt is going to break, that's not his fault. It's also natural to want to be careful with someone who got into beat up and has trauma in the past. Yuuki's love spawns from wanting to protect me. It's unfair to ask him to hurt me.

So, I end it there, and prepare for him to hate me for a good while. I don't want a half-assed relationship. I want something that hurts so bad I want to die and I want them to come down with me. Even explaining that to Yuuki, he doesn't get it, because our mental states are too different. Because I'm corrupted data on a cracked disk, and he's a scratched disk that still needs some buffing but doesn't play so bad. But whatever, I've gotten good at throwing away my feelings. Otherwise I would've blown up at Mamoru for daring to invite me to his house and sleeping with me and telling me not to leave any bite marks but he won't tell that to his girlfriends.

I wish I could go back and apologize, and try again and give Yuuki some time before I ask such impossible things of him. But I'm scared of being hurt the wrong way, so I run away to the same place I always run away to. It's too bad I can't seem to throw away my habit of seeking comfort in Mamoru. Maybe Takuma's right, and I'm just looking for a replacement. As much as I hate this side of me, I just can't shake it off.
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basketkitty
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It was certainly a surprise when Izo confessed to me that day. To tell the truth, I was scared to accept him. So far, any relationship that happened inside our group had turned out less than stellar; we're just lucky none of them tore us apart yet. But...still, the fear remained. What if this time was the straw that broke the camel's back? Everything about Izo was confusing and odd. He didn't react to situations like you'd expect someone to. And I wasn't sure if I could be in a relationship with someone as unsteady as he was. But...at the same time, I wanted to be his foundation. After hearing about what happened to him and his family, I wanted to help protect them. And the difference between Izo and Takuma was that Izo wasn't stupidly blinded by pride. And it felt good to have your assistance accepted for once. Even if Izo didn't like the idea of me getting wrapped up in what was going on, he didn't turn me down.
So I didn't turn him down, either.

But even though my heart flutters every time I glance over to him, I still can't help but feel a little uncertain. I can't pinpoint the reason I love Izo, and I'm scared it might be because...I used to love his sister. But Erika turned me down, and Izo is basically a male version of her who loves me. But...I'm glad that Erika rejected me. Even if I have a hold of my temper and spent years training my self-control, she's too frail for me. I always wanted to hold her and squeeze her so tightly that there's no where else for her body to go but through mine, but...I could never do that. I can't ever do that. And I don't know if my chest could take those sorts of emotions without some sort of release...and I've yet to think of a more accurate way to express them.

Even with Takuma, I couldn't do that, however. At the time, mostly it was because I didn't think of it. Possibly because it went against my desire to keep him safe, too. But he was my first real relationship, and I wouldn't have wanted to scare him off, even if he had been in love with me for years and saw every facet of my personality. He didn't like being dominated anyway, and at the time I hated the idea of dominating. A poor amount of self-esteem could certainly do that to a person. And in the end...with everything together: his pride, my wavering feelings and lack of confidence, and the inability to find a suitable way to properly let out any hidden feelings I didn't know of; I found myself migrating towards Erika and I broke it off with Takuma.

Since then, I haven't bothered with relationships, aside from minor flings now and again which boosted my confidence in sex and helped me figure myself out. And now I'm in one with Izo of all people. And even though I'm worried I may only love him because of his sister...I do know that I love Izo for himself as well. Despite being a pain in the ass a lot of the time, with his greed, laziness, snark, and wandering hands, he makes up for it. Oh, does he make up for it. Ranging from the music he writes to the card tricks he pulls off with ease, to the tasty food he rarely makes, to his kisses I missed so, so very much.

I want to give it a try. I want to attempt a real relationship again and see where it takes us. But I won't let it run towards the rocks. I love Izo and I want to protect him, and that means I don't want to break his heart. So I will do everything I can to make things work between us while still keeping him safe. But I...I couldn't do it. On the second night, we hit the reef.

When he told me it was over, I sat up so quickly everything blurred and my head felt detached from my body. The feeling didn't leave at all that night. I wasn't sure what I was feeling as he explained the problem. I couldn't decide if I wanted to get mad or curl up and cry. I think I tried both. It wasn't...it wasn't fair. To quit a relationship because the first night of sex was bad... That wasn't how it was supposed to be. First times were always bad. And even if it wasn't our first time together, in a way it still was. It was the first time in years and years and it was especially our first time in those positions. Even if I've gained more confidence and am less shy about sex in general, that didn't mean I was completely okay with topping the otherwise consistent dom. How could he tell me that it was over just because of a failed attempt? How could he tell me we couldn't get over this bump and had to stop here?

Of course I tried to reason with him. I tried to tell him, no, no, please stay. Let's try again, it's just this once was bad. I'll do better next time. But he held strong. He said one of us hadn't been all there, and because of that...it wouldn't work. I sat on the opposite side of the bed and laced my fingers behind my neck until he had either gotten dressed and left or fell asleep. I didn't bother turning around to find out. Even if I had I probably couldn't have seen through all my tears.

I didn't sleep well at all that night, as expected. I laid there for hours, wondering what we would have done if we'd continued dating. What sort of places would we have gone to? Would he have dragged me to the game store on release days to spend hours in line, waiting to be one of the first people to touch the newest copy of the most recent game, and then make me shell out the cash for it? Would I then try to take him out to a fancy restaurant and have them make him their cheapest meal so he could actually keep it down? Would we go home then and cuddle on the couch while he plays his new game and I watch? Would he try to get me to play it as well and then laugh as I die over and over? Would I blush and shove the controller at him and we laugh together until we're kissing? Would anything like that ever happen...?

I spent the next several days on my own, still trying to settle my thoughts. I had a taste of what it's like to be with Izo and even if we're over and done with already, I can't get the thoughts of the man out of my head. My head aches from replaying every scenario I could come up with for what could have been, and my chest feels the same as the feelings that were riled up when he confessed simply were riled further when he broke up with me. Like a coke bottle shaken until it's ready to burst. But among thoughts of what ifs and what abouts, I do think about that night, too, and wonder why. What had I done wrong aside from be inexperienced and hesitant? Had that been it? Had Izo simply just changed that much that he would rather be dominated than dominate? Why? Why had he changed? Why did he want that of me?

And unlike the scenarios that I play to myself when trying to go to sleep, this is something that I can possibly get an answer to. So I went to his house.

But while I had been prepared to see him leading up to his place, once I'm at his front door, I freeze again. Am I really ready for whatever answer he gave me? Am I really ready for every possible scenario? Swallowing hard, I lean my hand on the door, my fist ready to knock. Spending these few moments running through every possibility one last time, I nearly give myself a migraine in my desperation. But I can't think of everything, much less a response for every possible outcome...until I come to the final possibility: Just turning away now. And there is no way in hell I'm doing that.

So with that in mind, I steady my breathing and give a few short raps on the door.

It takes another few seconds for the door to open, and when it does, I'm greeted by an irritated and taken aback Izo. For a short while we stand there, staring at one another, before he finally snaps out of it and snaps out at me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," I reply, silently praying the butterflies filling my mouth are only metaphorical.

"...Why? There's nothing going on today, is there?" he asks, folding his arms. I take full notice on how he doesn't invite me in.

"No, there isn't. That's why I'm here," I respond, taking a small step forward.

His eyes flicker for a moment, but he holds his ground, staying leaned against the door frame. For another brief moment, my eyes flicker over him as well, and I finally take in his appearance. He's wearing just a bathrobe, which hangs loosely on his shoulders, revealing his collarbone that I so badly want to kiss again, and in his pocket I see a small box which are most likely a pack of cigarettes. And with the shorter distance between us, I can now smell the bit of alcohol on him. It isn't much, however, as his skin isn't showing the warmth of the booze, so he must have only started. Clearly, he was in for the day, as usual on his rare time off.

He wets his lips. "Well, I'm not seeing anyone today. So." Pushing himself off the door frame now, Izo starts to take a step back, his hand reaching for the door. But as he starts to close it, I step forward again, my hand keeping it open.

"Wait, please! Izo, I need to see you!"

His eye twitches. "Well...too bad. We aren't seeing each other anymore," he says, as he tries to close the door again. But I lean my whole body against it, sticking my foot into the door frame to keep it from closing fully without risk of injury.

"Please, Izo! Just--just tell me what I did wrong!"

At this, he finally stops pushing against the door again, and I nearly fall over myself as the resistance is now gone.

"...You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then...then what is it? Izo, what is it?! If I didn't do anything wrong, then tell me, please!"

Scrambling to straighten up, I look earnestly to him, hoping for something... But, all I receive is frustration.

"Yuuki... Yuuki, it's just not going to work out, okay?! We're on two different levels, and it's just not--it's been, what, two weeks now? Aren't you over it? It only lasted a few days, not even that, why are you so hell-bent on thi--"

"Because I love you!"

Grabbing him by the shoulders now, we stare at each other again, my grip probably too strong...but I can't let go. I don't want to let go. I'm scared if I let go, I'll lose him again. And as I'm gripping him, I notice just how thin he is. How frail he is. And for a small moment, I think back on Erika, and how badly I had wanted to hold her as tight as I wanted...but the Erika I picture in my mind is hazy and quickly blurs into Izo, who's image is sharp and crisp and I can't get it out of my mind. As if I ever would want to. But while I had been scared to hold Erika, I'm not at all afraid to hold Izo. Because if I don't...he'll blow away like rice paper. And instead of being scared of hurting him, I'm more terrified of not holding him ever again.

Swallowing hard again, I clutch the man tightly to my chest, my arms wrapped completely around him: one around his shoulders, the other around his waist. He doesn't move, but I feel him breathing. I can even feel his heartbeat through his robe with how close our chests are pressed together.

"I love you, Izo..." I whisper, my breath on his ear and neck, causing the hair to rise and dimple his skin. "Please...let me try again... Whatever I did wrong...let me try again..."

"...Idiot... I already told you, you didn't do anything wrong," he whispers back. But after a brief hesitation, he reaches up as well, his fingers soon digging into the back of my shirt.


It takes me some time before I have the courage to move past the hug, but eventually he's on the couch, looking up at me as I push his robe off his shoulders, his neck and collarbone already peppered with kisses and growing bright red with teeth marks. But as I start to move down his body more, my fingers hungrily searching for the waistband of his boxers, Izo stops me.

"Yuuki, no."

Automatically, I freeze and sit up, looking down at him again. My body is flushed and needy, and I want nothing more than to consume him...but my mind is still steady enough to listen.

"What is it?"

"We can't." He doesn't elaborate, and instead just lays there, looking up at me. Just over the sound of my heartbeat, I can hear the music from a video game's pause screen, and in my peripherals I see a bottle of beer on the coffee table next to some half-smoked cigarettes and a barely touched bowl of instant ramen. There's no other sign of someone else with him, so the only thing I can think of that keeps us from continuing is...just the two of us.

So with a sense of defeat, I lay back over him, my hands sliding under his body to hold him close again as I press our chests together once more. "Why not?"

"...You're just going to get hurt."

I furrow my brows in confusion, but keep my face pressed into his neck. "What makes you say that?"

"Because, I know. I'm just going to hurt you."

At this, I finally pull away to look him in the face, but as I try to speak, he cuts me off.

"Yuuki, I'm rotten. 'One bad apple spoils the lot', right? I can't have you rotting beside me. We're not good for each other, we can't do this."

Shakily, I wet my lips. Out of all the scenarios I ran through...none of them came close to this. "Izo... We're not apples. We're people. Humans. If you think you're rotten, I can help you! I can--"

"I don't want to be a project. I'm not a fixer-upper. I can't be fixed." At this, Izo pushes against my chest and I comply with sitting up.

Starting to come down from the lustful high earlier, I watch as Izo grabs one of the old cigarettes and relights it, and I have to inwardly fight myself from pouncing on him again. But just seeing his slim shoulders peeking out from under the loose robe, his tousled hair, his frown of concentration as he tries to light the cigarette, the bags under his eyes, that one mole on the back of his ear...everything about him I find so incredibly attractive that it takes everything in me to listen to him speak and process his words properly.

"Then...what am I supposed to do? Just leave you to...to rot?"

"Pretty much."

"Izo, I can't do that. W-whether you like it or not, I love you! And I mean it when I say that!" Reaching over, I take his hand and turn him on the couch to face me again. But he doesn't look at me.

"...Your love isn't compatible with mine."

"What?"

He takes another drag of his cigarette and sighs as he lets out the smoke, watching it fade into the air above his head for a long, long moment. Then, he sets it down in the ashtray and stares at it for another several beats.

"You know why I broke it off with Ryouta? Because he was too gentle for me. I need someone rough. Someone who understands where I'm coming from, where I have come from. But I can't corrupt someone to get them to that point of understanding. I loved Ryou for his gentleness. For his purity. Changing him to match me ruins that. I can't afford that change." He shakes his head. "...You're the same."

There's a long stretch of silence between us, before I finally find my voice enough to speak. "...Am I?" Was that even really all it was? A case of being too gentle? Too soft for him? For Izo, who's so sharp that even his words could cut glass... Every part of him was sharp. His body structure, his eyes, his voice, his personality... Was that really all it was? That he was too sharp for me?

"You are."

"...What makes you say that?" I ask, now starting to scoot closer as I feel my rebellious spirit rearing its head. After all...if he thinks I'm too gentle, I want more than anything to prove that isn't the case at all. That my gentle nature is simply a filtered version of my real love. My love isn't gentle at all. I'm just too scared to show that.

"Because that night. When I got hit, you were scared to touch me," he answers, taking a sip of his beer.

"...Of course. Because you had gotten hurt."

"So?"

"'So?'! Izo, you were hurt!"

"You think that's something new to me?"

Meeting his eyes now at this, I freeze again. I open my mouth to try and retort, but before I can, he stands up and pulls his robe over his shoulders, tightening it around his waist.

"Look, I already said it, you don't understand where I'm coming from. I need someone who doe--"

"Maybe I'll understand if you tell me!" Cutting him off at this, I stand up as well, my frustration starting to build. And for the briefest of seconds I wish he was currently injured so I could prove him wrong... But the thought of seeing him in pain outside of pleasure is too much to bear and the idea is quickly swept away.

"I already said, I can't! Yuuki, I don't want to lose the version of you that I've fallen in love with!"

Once more seizing up at this, I stare at him, my breathing still. But when I breathe again, it's a gasp in sync with his, our lips millimeters apart, his face held in both my hands. "I don't think you know the real side of me, Izo..." I whisper, my thumb pressed against his bottom lip as I look down at him.

"What?"

"I'm not as fragile as you think, Izo... I would have rotted a long time ago if that was the case... And... I guess what you're getting at is... You're not as fragile as we think, either, huh?" Giving a soft smile, I take a few steps forward, soon getting Izo up against a wall. "I understand more than you think, if you just let me know... If you don't want to be reminded of your injuries, you just have to say. If you want to cover the pain caused by hate with pain caused by love, you just have to say. If you want someone rough, you just have to say. If you want it rough, you just have to say. Izo, I understand way more than you give me credit..."

We stay like that for a while afterwards, just letting those words soak in. I try to read his expression, but he's stoic. Thankfully, however, I don't register fear. Perhaps, however...there's relief in there. Finally, he swallows.

"You say that. But when I get hurt again, you're going back to go back to being gentle."

"No, not with what I know now."

"You are, though. Don't lie to me."

He tries to push against my chest again, but I move quicker, pinning his wrists to the wall on either side of his head. Again, I watch for any signs of fear, but this time I mostly see surprise.

"Hey, Izo... You wanna know the scariest, most sexy kink there is?" I ask, leaning in close to his ear again. Then, with my breath low and barely above a whisper, I breathe into his ear. "Communication."

At this, the air is suddenly broken as Izo lets out a snort, and I finally release him from the wall to allow him a moment to laugh. It doesn't take him long to recover, however, and soon he's shaking his head, his arms crossed once again.

"Communication?"

"Communication. Pretty sexy, right?" I chuckle, my posture a little looser now as the tension is starting to fade. But it only lasts for a short moment before Izo tenses it again.

"...I don't want to have to explain myself every time, though."

"You won't have to. Just once is enough. You can even write it out and show me the letter every time you need it."

"But maybe there's nights I just want you to know?--"

"I'm not Mamoru." Saying it before I can stop myself, I bite my tongue as Izo stiffens. But the damage is done, and I have to continue. "I can't read your mind. Not like he can. I can only guess or assume or just go off what you've told me before. If what you're looking for is Mamoru, then--"

"I'm not looking for Mamoru."

"Then what are you looking for?"

He stops again. "Not Mamoru," he says again. Then, biting his lip, he breathes in and continues slowly, his words careful. "He's too much. We're a feedback loop. I can't have another Mamoru."

"Then what is it? What do you want? What are we, a one-way receiver?"

"No, that's...that's Ryou. You're a--" He stops, looking at our hands as I had grabbed his, and then looks back up to me. "--We're a... We could be...a two-way radio..." he finally decides, his eyes now on my lips. "I'm just...scared of corrupting you..."

"...And I'm scared of squeezing you so tightly you break..."

"Don't be. I won't."

"Then don't be scared, either. I don't corrupt easy," I say, pulling him in one more time.


Pushing his bangs back, I press Izo into the mattress of the bed, his slender fingers working desperately to undo the buckle of my belt as I kick his robe off the edge of the bed. Our breathing comes in short gasps for air between kisses, our hands grabbing almost frantically at each other as we undress more and get onto the bed fully.

He wants to bottom again, and doesn't allow me to do much prep work aside from grabbing the lubricant, but I whisper back that I don't want to wait anyway. We already had discussed that any blood would be our sign to stop (although Izo looked reluctant at that, I reminded him that we did have jobs and couldn't afford to be hospitalized), so with the boundary clearly set, I allow myself to proceed unfiltered.

It's difficult at first, because every now and then he'll scream in pain, but because he'll pull me in closer, I tell myself to not stop. While I hate the idea of hurting any of my bandmates, much less Izo, my fantasy is wild and dangerous and inline with his, and there's an awful lot of comfort in finally being able to give in to it.

Feeling a hand tight in my hair, so tight it feels like my hair would be pulled right off my scalp, I do the same to him and run my tongue over his cheek as tears had started trickling down from the corners of his eyes. This pulls his voice out even more and he arches his back, allowing me to get a better grip on him with my free hand. My fingers digging into his skin until I feel bone, which I can almost cling to as my teeth sink into his neck, my hips finally find a rhythm the two of us can agree on.

The experience is intense, far more intense than anything I had ever had even with Takuma, and I can't stop gasping out his name, just as he can't stop screaming mine, especially as I manage to hone in on his prostate after some adjusting. Blinking sweat from my eyes, the two of us completely drenched already, I watch him, my eyes eating him up as he trembles underneath me. His body is flushed, his chest heaves as he struggles to breathe between moans and cries of pained pleasure, his face: a mess of sweat, tears, and drool...and he's the sexiest person I had ever laid eyes on. And a part of me feels like a monster for thinking that...but when our eyes meet, he moans my name and lifts his chest to indicate he wants me closer and I'm reminded that this is just what we both want.

When he finally cums, I watch as Izo's eyes roll back and his body shakes harder than I had ever seen it, and the sight of him being so lost in the sensation is more than enough for me to follow suit. However, when I announce that I'm cumming as well, I'm surprised by Izo locking his legs around my hips, holding me in place as he kisses me hard. Breaking to breathe once the high is over, I blink in confusion at him, my brow furrowed.

"I thought you hated that?"

"I do...because it's a pain in the ass to get out..."

"Then, what? You want a reminder later on on how hard I fucked you?" I chuckle, kissing his neck. He smirks back.

"Maybe."

"God, Izo... You are more of a masochist than I thought..."

"And you're more of a sadist. Jesus Christ..."

Pulling away now as Izo reaches up to his neck, he pulls his hand back to look at his fingers, which have a spot of blood on them.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bite that hard, shi--"

Feeling fingers on my lips at that, Izo smirks again and shakes his head, though he winces as he adjusts to sit up as well. "No, Yuuki, this is good. Blood in my ass? Not so good. This, though?" He gives a soft, single chuckle. "Can you still do this when I'm hurt, though...?" he asks, looking down at the blood on his fingertips.

Swallowing, I take his hand and hold it to my chest. "I don't intend on letting you get hurt again."

"But what if I do?"

Meeting his gaze again for another long while, I breathe in deep, biting my lip hard. "If you...get so hurt...that you can't walk... Then I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for another reason," I reply, my voice as steady as possible. He grins at this and wets his lip as he starts to climb back into my lap.

"...I guess I really did underestimate you, huh?"

I laugh. "You really wanna go again?" I ask, feeling his arousal starting up again against my own.

"Are you starting to underestimate me now?" he asks, pushing me back into the bed and straddling me.

"I wouldn't dream of it. All you have to do is say. Communication is pretty fucking sexy, huh?"

"And pretty fucking dangerous, too..."
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