| Understand | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 22 2018, 04:18 PM (2 Views) | |
| RainyMemory | Mar 22 2018, 04:18 PM Post #1 |
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Maybe I'm scaring Yuu-chan lately Maybe I'm too clingy and my feelings are too strong I guess one could say he bit off more than he could chew Though I don't really think so, I'm not any different He fell in love with the same Me that I am now I remember something like this with Ii I loved... well love doesn't really cover it But my feelings for Ii then and my feelings for Yuuki now They're not different Ii I understand Ii's past binds him and being tied down scares him He thinks that I'll change if we stay together so long So when he said we needed to break up, I let it happen I didn't think I'd change, but he's been through enough Ii and I can remain close without dating, I understand that It's different with Yuu-chan Yuu-chan doesn't seem to understand me I think he heard me tell Takuma how I felt "It's not love and it's not like... If I were to tell the truth, something like... Murderous intent?" That doesn't mean I will kill Yuu-chan or do anything scary But I want Yuu-chan to be only mine That includes when he dies, what he looks like when he does Those things should belong only to me I love Yuu-chan so much, I want to kill him With my own hands, I want to kill him Although love probably isn't the best word I want Yuu-chan to feel the same way With his own hands, I want him to kill me But I don't think Yuu-chan gets it I don't know why, though Yuu-chan isn't stupid, he should understand the best He doesn't have a past to chain him down like Ii does He doesn't seem to think I'm going to change after too long I think he thinks I did change already "I think... we should break up." "Why?" "Because it's better for Tachiiri, you know?" "I don't." "Well, you see, if the agency finds out, we'll be in trouble." "Why?" "Because they won't want us to be gay or anything like that." "Why?" "It'll upset the fans." "Why?" "I don't really know, but it's for the best we end it." ... "Mamo?" ... "No, don't cry, it'll be ok!" I don't like it when Yuu-chan lies to me. Yuu-chan told me this the day after sex When I pushed him into the bed, I think he got confused I sat on his stomach and looked down at him blankly "Why don't you understand?" I said that And I grabbed Yuu-chan's throat And I squeezed And I pushed And I leaned into it "Yuu-chan is the most important to me." And he thrashed around as best he could And he pulled as best he could And his strangled sounds filled the empty space in the air And he coughed when I let go And I engraved his faces into my head And I didn't let him shove me off And we struggled and fell off the bed together "MAMORU, PLEASE NO! NO! NO! STOP IT! PLEASE!" And I grabbed his throat again And he fought harder "I want Yuu-chan to be mine." And I kissed him And he gasped and struggled for air inside my mouth And I pulled away when he started getting weak And I watched him take his final breaths With drool falling down his cheek With his red eyes relaxing after being squeezed shut With tears fallen past his temples With scratch marks all over me With bruises coming to form I held him still After another minute, I let him go And I leaned down and I kissed his cheek And I shut his mouth And I cleaned his face And I got us both dressed And I sat and watched the bruises form on his throat And I layed down next to him And I curled up against his cold corpse And I laid there for another hour And I got up and got a knife And I moved Yuu-chan onto the bed And I cut open his wrists And I cut open mine And I let our colours paint us and the bed And I curled up next to him again And I sang to him until I got so tired I couldn't |
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6:42 PM Jul 11