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| Topic Started: Jun 15 2010, 09:51 PM (122 Views) | |
| Fuma | Jun 15 2010, 09:51 PM Post #1 |
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Hopeless romantic
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Introduction Pie. Right? Yes, that was it. That was the very fixation that had saved David’s life, and thrust him into the wildest 3 years he‘s ever lived. It may seem strange now, how he was saved, but the event happened for a reason, a very important reason. David Johnson was always a little different than anyone else. He never enjoyed playing four-square on the playground, when he was little. He walked around, thinking of things no one else ever did, with his colossal imagination. He hardly ever went to parties or to hang out with people in high school. He never had a girlfriend before, or a really close friend. As you’ve guessed, he was a loner. On this particular day - the 23rd of August, 2010 - his life would change. For the better? Maybe, but really, we’ll have to finish the story first. But, now we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s take it back to the beginning of the 23rd day of August, 2010. Ch. 1: The Beginning David, on this crisp, cool Saturday in August, was doing nothing out of the ordinary. Sitting on is couch in his mildly cheap apartment, at 10:07 in the morning, petting his cat, Jonks, and watching Family Feud. Because there was no one to disturb him, and no one to stimulate feelings, David wondered why he had received the next thought that randomly stuck in his brain. David, suddenly, had a strange craving for pie. He had some in his fridge from a couple of nights ago, but he wasn’t thinking about that; the thought was completely random. He was about to shake the thought off when Jonks leapt from his lap and raced for the kitchen. David, a little puzzled, stood up, and hit his head on the ceiling. He was only 5’8”, but as I stated, the apartment was cheap. He took a step forward, muttering incoherent curses at the ceiling, when a strange noise made him stop. It sounded as if a jump rope was wooshing by his head. He turned to look through his window, when ,suddenly, what looked to be an airplane wing, flew threw his apartment, and cut it in half. Straight in half, right threw the chair, which he was then but one step away from. His ears were ringing, and he was disoriented. His vision started to blur and his knees gave out, causing him to fall backwards, onto the floor, which now had debris all over it. He blacked out. Almost an hour later, David started opening his eyes. His vision was blurry, and he could hear voices, giving out orders, and what sounded like gunfire, in the background. His vision cleared and he saw a man kneeling over him, wearing a marine combat outfit, with a cross on his helmet and the word “Doc“ on it. His head was turned in a different direction. “We’ve got Tangos comin’ in the front!” he informed another man, also wearing a marine suit, holding an assault rifle. His helmet said “Scout.“ There were two other men in the room, which were both marines. One that had a nickname written on his helmet that said “Krock,”carried a sniper rifle, while the other’s said “Terminator.“ He carried a shotgun, and had an RPG strapped to his back. The sniper noticed Dave and said, “He’s awake,” with a deep New York accent. Doc looked down at him with sad, worn eyes, that looked like they’ve seen Hell, and worse. “ What’s your name, son,” he asked without hesitation. He had a southern accent, but it went well with his worn face and bad ass attitude. “David, David Johnson.” David was still disoriented, and very confused, but he did his best to answer the soldier. He heard shouts and gunshots from down the hall, and glanced through his open door. “Don’t worry about that, David. Scouts got that under control.” Doc said. “Can you walk? Try standin’ up.” David, with a little help, was able to stand, and look about him more. The apartment was utterly destroyed, with pieces of rubble flown everywhere, you couldn’t tell if there was a living room. The marines had turned over what was left of chairs and tables to use them as cover, pointed towards the doorway. “Wha…what happened?” asked David. “Well,” said Doc, “Apparently Russia and Germany decided to team up.” That’s all he got to say, for Scout returned in a full-out sprint. “Tango’s got some heavy frakin’ reinforcements.” he said. “Oh, great.” retorted Krock, “ I’m for long range and stealth, not for straight up. You know how to use this?” He asked as he unbuckled a pistol from its sheath and threw it at David. David caught the gun, unloaded, loaded, and cocked it. With a sense of surprise rising in himself, he scanned the room; everyone else’s eyes had the same look of wide-eyed surprise. “I guess so” said David. Krock pulled his sniper rifle around and slung in behind his back and grabbed another pistol out of its sheath while everyone checked their ammo. “Hey D.J.! Can I call you that? Get behind that table, there, and don’t come up unless I say.” advised Doc. David did as he was told, but would’ve rather just not been there in the first place. “ Hey Krotch, how many’d you get? I got about 30!” “For the last time, Scout, the names Krock! And I got about 23 so far!” David thought to himself. 23. Where did he remember that from. The date. That was it. Today was the 23rd of August. As his defenders got into position, David heard footsteps, and turned to look over the top of the turned over table. This was a mistake, however, because as soon as he got his bright green eyes over the edge, a three-shot burst from an assault rifle grazed the edge, the closet shot being just an inch from David’s nose. He peeled back, and watched as the enemies fired upon the walls that surrounded his cover. Suddenly, Doc and Terminator burst from his kitchen. Doc shot one in the chest and six rounds of Tavor MTAR 21 ammo split the Russian’s spine and impaled themselves in the wall behind them. Terminator armed a standard issue grenade and threw it behind the last infiltrator, into the hallway. Doc and Terminator ran back into the kitchen and David had the brilliant idea to stick his fingers into his ears. There was a loud Bang! and dust and debris exploded and flew everywhere. David’s ears were ringing. He stood, disoriented, and turned around with a blank expression on his face. Doc and Terminator walked out from the kitchen pantry, while Scout and Krock came out from behind the couch, right next to the table and set next to David on the side of the table facing the door. “Wooh!” said Scout, “Them were juicy ones.” He motioned to the blood sprays all over the corridor walls. David felt sick to his stomach, yet he also had a renewed strength, that he’d never seen before. Edited by Fuma, Jun 15 2010, 09:56 PM.
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| Fuma | Jun 15 2010, 09:53 PM Post #2 |
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Hopeless romantic
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btw, i know theres a lot of commos. everyone else said its good for a 14 year old's first book. so post yo own opinions |
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| Fuma | Jun 16 2010, 03:15 AM Post #3 |
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Hopeless romantic
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people please read this. i wanna be a writer, so i need your input. i know its kinda long and you don't want to read it at first glance, but please. |
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Reference Done By DemonLemon Best Fanart | |
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| Demonlemon | Jun 17 2010, 02:35 AM Post #4 |
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MY CHILDREN COMETH
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not bad, too many commas though, they, break, up, the flow And this line caused me to break out laughing “Well,” said Doc, “Apparently Russia and Germany decided to team up.” |
| Happiness is like wetting yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. | |
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| Fuma | Jun 17 2010, 03:20 AM Post #5 |
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Hopeless romantic
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i know about the commas (believe me, connor wouldn't let me not) but i'm still working on the nations. |
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Reference Done By DemonLemon Best Fanart | |
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2:51 PM Jul 11