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| Major Update; Yo | |
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| Topic Started: May 31 2012, 08:01 PM (1,884 Views) | |
| John | Jul 24 2012, 12:57 AM Post #46 |
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JB
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I'll take real critique on this over that. http://dl.dropbox.com/u/780866/From%20The%20Sky.mp3 |
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| Masquerade | Jul 24 2012, 01:01 AM Post #47 |
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boy howdy
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random nature sounds sure do make this track deep and tranquil try making your pads a tad more interesting than just double-whole notes the problem with your tracks is that you like to repeat motives a LOT. and that doesnt help you in any way - expand upon those motives. jam out a bit with a tiny little tidbit in mind and you'll get a great melody. |
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| John | Jul 27 2012, 02:10 AM Post #48 |
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JB
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A little piano ballad I wrote today. Feel free to critique, but nothing really serious here. http://soundcloud.com/soundscape-elegance/back-in-time Edited by John, Jul 27 2012, 02:10 AM.
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| Masquerade | Jul 27 2012, 02:55 AM Post #49 |
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boy howdy
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Those onbeats are seriously discordant, and does it switch time or am i dumb? ...do you have notation for this? it would be very nice to see it if you do. |
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| John | Jul 27 2012, 03:09 AM Post #50 |
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JB
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Here is the notation: https://www.box.com/s/e71500658eafd9a5a026 |
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| Masquerade | Jul 27 2012, 03:34 AM Post #51 |
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boy howdy
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ok the problem is that in bar 3 you're playing a d on top of an a major which has an e as the fifth. the rest of the piece is perfectly fine, afaict |
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| John | Aug 1 2012, 04:29 AM Post #52 |
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JB
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So, I have been rewriting and expanding on this project here: http://s15.zetaboards.com/TCOTL/single/?p=8342606&t=7199842 It has been rewritten in D, rather than C. I have lyrics and some added things in it. Here is the current version. Not the best singing I know. http://dl.dropbox.com/u/780866/Starlight.mp3 Edited by John, Aug 1 2012, 04:32 AM.
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| Masquerade | Aug 2 2012, 12:13 AM Post #53 |
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boy howdy
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a crash would have been good after the bass revved up a bass line would be good you have GOT to work on a smoother transition for that saw pad and variation upon the theme it plays god damn |
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| John | Aug 2 2012, 02:21 AM Post #54 |
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JB
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I do have a bass line. Its just toned down. I don't want bass prominent in this. I am working on a better crash, but I don't people peeing their pants from the sudden jump. |
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| Masquerade | Aug 2 2012, 02:28 AM Post #55 |
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boy howdy
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i think you should worry more about people peeing their pants from the introduction of the pad than anything are you recording all this shit live and then piecing it together? what do you know about theory? |
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| John | Aug 2 2012, 04:35 AM Post #56 |
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JB
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Do i record it live? HELL NO. I write the melodies by hand. Yes i know theory. I don't how you could compose very good at all without knowing theory. Edited by John, Aug 2 2012, 05:01 AM.
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| Masquerade | Aug 2 2012, 06:12 AM Post #57 |
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boy howdy
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i dont think that with the repetition and quirky progressions you're applying that knowledge much |
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| John | Aug 3 2012, 01:30 AM Post #58 |
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JB
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What knowledge? Your grammar isn't making sense. |
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| Espejo | Aug 3 2012, 10:56 PM Post #59 |
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You lookin' at me, boi?
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Starlight - Auto. Tune. Why. Do. You. Use. It. The one you use sounds pretty bad, no offence - I'm sure you can sing if you try. :/ Onto the music bits and stuff! The intro sounds really systematic and lacking character due to the lack of velocity effects and such - you need to use them so they come alive! Also, the bass build up could be better - it needs to build up to something as big as itself (with maybe a little solo snare drum roll then get going loud again). Oh, and that saw synth needs to be a bit easier on the ears, and the tuned bass part (if you have one) needs to be (more) audible. Otherwise, good luck with this song! I can imagine in becoming pretty good if you fix these things! EDIT: May as well show what I think of the other songs. The Sky: Pretty sweet! Love it, except for the bass drum spam before the synths kick in (which are also a bit sudden). Also, I don't if it's just me, but the intro's a bit too fast. Back in Time: Back to the Future's song? Haha. The left hand is boring and there seems to be no dynamic or life to the player. It sounds like something you'd play 'perfectly' for a grade 3 piano recital. Just give it some life and make the left hand more interesting - then you'll be on a roll! Edited by Espejo, Aug 4 2012, 01:35 AM.
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| Demonlemon | Aug 5 2012, 01:46 AM Post #60 |
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MY CHILDREN COMETH
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@Starlight: I'm not really sure what to say here, no real problems just not my cup of tea |
| Happiness is like wetting yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. | |
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8:56 AM Jul 11