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| Thy Flesh Consumed | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 14 2009, 12:54 AM (341 Views) | |
| Dark Slinkie | Mar 14 2009, 12:54 AM Post #1 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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I am reattempting Fan Fiction of the Elder Scrolls. Here goes. Prologue Unknown Area 25 years ago A group of hooded men stood around the child, they were chanting in a different language. The child was only a baby. The hooded men stopped chanting and threw back their hoods, revealing many different races. They were Bretons, Orcs, Imperials, Redguard’s and Khajit's. No Dunmer or Argonian was present in this ceremony. "From the fires of Oblivion, we shall rise. We shall cast down those that can not serve you my lords." The men parted to show pictures of both Sithis and Mephala. The gods of the Dark Brotherhood and the Morag Tong. "Mephala be praised, Sithis be praised." All the men said at once. "From the door of time, we shall enter. Slaying all who choose to disturb our lords." One of the Imperials said. He must be the grand master. "Mephala be praised, Sithis be praised." "In 25 years, this boy shall slay those that would dare oppose you. He is the prophesised one from the legend." The leader picked up the boy, who giggled when touched on the stomach. There was a mark on his chest, a birthmark that looked like two knives, one dark and one light, being broken in half by a single hand. “He will raise us into the light!” the chanting grew louder and the men started to get more excited. “Sithis be praised, Mephala be praised!” They were almost yelling into the deserted cave. “We shall end the Dark Brotherhood and the Morag Tong!” all the men yelled. The cave echoed the final words, and then fell silent. The child closed its little eyes as the 7 men surrounding the child thought about what he was created to do. It had begun. Edited by Dark Slinkie, Mar 15 2009, 12:55 AM.
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Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| The Bean | Mar 14 2009, 07:29 AM Post #2 |
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Forum Kommisar
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Right, good story Slink and it's very mysterious so far, which I like, but a few bits of criticism. 1. It's way too short! Try aiming for at least 1000 words per part. It might seem hard, but just some description here and will really help increase it. 2. The Dark Brotherhood worship Sithis, not Sanguine. And (as far as I know), Sithis isn't a daedric prince, he is a god. 3. Assassins FTW! |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 14 2009, 07:37 AM Post #3 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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I didn't think i could do much more with the prolouge. Woops...I corrected my mistake. |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| The Bean | Mar 14 2009, 07:49 AM Post #4 |
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Forum Kommisar
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Fair enough. I'll be keeping my eyes on this nonetheless. |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 14 2009, 07:54 AM Post #5 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Chapter 1 is almost finished, writing it right now infact. |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 14 2009, 08:09 AM Post #6 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Chapter 1 Imperial city Present day. The body had been found by accident. Rindir, owner of Rindir’s staffs, was on his way to the waterfront district for a pick up when he heard some noises. When he went to investigate, he found the body. Hieronymus Lex surveyed the scene. The victim had been an alleged member of the Dark Brotherhood that was hiding near the Imperial city. The victim was a female Dunmer and she wore no armor or any kind of weapon, she had been taken by surprise. “Lex, glad you could make it,” Giovanni Civello said when he saw Lex, “I was sure that you would be hunting the Grey Fox.” “Now isn’t the time for jokes, what have you found?” Hieronymus asked. His palace armor gleaming in the early dawn sunlight. “Wounds were inflicting by a dagger, my guess is elven.” Giovanni informed. Lex wasn’t convinced; he looked around the scene and looked for something else. “She didn’t fight back. So she was either taken by surprise or she knew the killer. The wounds are from an elven dagger. She was moved alright, no tracks… Why haven’t the birds started to eat the flesh?” Giovanni raised an eyebrow on that question. “I don’t know, maybe some advanced magic?” “It doesn’t seem right too me. There must be more to the scene.” Lex walked up to the body and eyed the positioning. “Giovanni, do you see anything weird with the body?” he asked. Giovanni walked up and looked at the body. “Looks like a dark brotherhood murder to me.” Giovanni shrugged. Lex spun around and faced him “Exactly, this isn’t there style. The Dark Brotherhood doesn’t kill in this manor. They leave the body where they kill it.” Lex reached into the pockets of the dead Dunmer and found a note. It was a Writ of Execution. “A writ of execution? Then it was the Morag Tong!” Giovanni deduced “No, this isn’t there style either. It’s a set up; the killer wants us to hunt down the two assassin guilds, but why?” Lex asked himself. It made no sense to him. He looked over the body again and thought of how the killer did it. “Ok, the cuts are scabbing so she died over 3 hours ago. The killer was a man by my guess. The upper body strength would have let him move her with ease. Check the immediate area for a cabin or hut.” He ordered. The Imperial guards ran off in every direction, doing as they were commanded. Lex continued to inspect the body. “The body was moved here a few minutes before Rindir showed up, which was about an hour ago,” He lifted the body to show Giovanni that the indent of the grass was not that big, “If she was killed here, there would be more blood and the indent in the grass would be much bigger. This guy has some tricks up his sleeve.” An Imperial guard sprinted over the hill, screaming that he had found the cabin. It took 5 minutes for Giovanni, Lex and the guard to get there. The cabin was located near a hill and there was still smoke pumping out of it. A clever deception to the untrained eye. When Lex and Giovanni walked into the hut they found blood, splattered all over the place. Giovanni walked out and vomited all over the grass. Lex looked around the room quickly to figure out what had happened. He played the scene through in his head. It was dark in the cabin, The Dunmer female lay in bed. There was no sound outside. The door slides open and the killer walks in, holding an elven knife. He slits her throat first and then cuts pieces of her body too make it look like the Dark Brotherhood. He pulls out a Writ and stuffs it into her shirt pocket in case of emergency. It still made no sense to Lex. But if there was someone on the loose that could take out a highly trained member of the dark Brotherhood, The guy must be extremely good. Giovanni walked into the room, having got over his nausea, and started to view areas of the room. “Most of the blood is centered on the bed. Maybe he did most of the damage there?” Giovanni continued to survey the scene. Lex walked out and ran back to the body. The neck had the oldest scab on it. “Can’t say I saw that the first time…” He said to himself. How the hell did he see it in his replay of the scene? Peace out ![]() |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 15 2009, 12:52 AM Post #7 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Chapter 2 Imperial City Present Day It wasn’t long before Giovanni had returned to Lex. He was still looking over the body. “Surely you have found enough Lex.” Giovanni said, but Lex wasn’t listening, he continued to look over the body. “We must be missing something… Why the dark Brotherhood?” Lex asked “Revenge, maybe the killers parents were murdered.” Giovanni shrugged. “No, if it was revenge, the victim would be way more bruised because the killer would want to inflict pain… this was planned.” “I still stand by that it was the Morag Tong…” Giovanni started, but was interrupted by Lex. “And I’m telling you that it can’t be either one.” He yelled. Giovanni took a few steps back. “I’m sorry Giovanni… I get carried away.” He returned to inspecting the body. “You need not be sorry friend.” Giovanni said and Lex’s grim face turned into a smile. He then returned to the body, still looking for something else. He undid the Dunmer top and saw a mark on the chest, just above the breasts. It was a rough drawing of a knife. Colored in, but broken in half. He stood up and told a guard to take the body away; it was unlikely he would get anything else. Lex stood and ran after Giovanni, who had walked back into the city. Belisarius Arius ran for his life. He had done many of his Dark Brotherhood duties today; he was on his way to the next when he was attacked. He escaped with only a few cuts, no severe ones. He was unsure if he was still being chased but he kept running anyway. He was close to the Imperial City and hiding in the sewers. He dropped on the banks of the river and drunk some water, he was still in his Black Hand garb and he was sure that the attacker was still behind him. A dagger flew past him, confirming his suspicions as the chase began again. Belisarius didn’t get very far. The dagger pierced his back and the blade touched his heart. He fell to the floor and looked up to see a man. “Morag Tong… You shall…Pay!” He said between deep breathes. “That will make my job easier.” The killer said in a cocky voice. He bent down low pulled out his dagger, which he used to slit Belisarius’ throat. The killer then moved the body to just in front of the Imperial Jail Sewers and stuffed a Writ into the pocket of the dead assassin. A smile twisted onto the killers face and he ran away. Lex and Giovanni returned to the Barracks. The guards were having a lively party, with Cyrodilic Brandy and other kinds of beverages all over the place. When the door opened, the men stopped their merrymaking, but continued when Giovanni nodded his head. Lex grabbed a bottle of Cyrodilic brandy, but it wasn’t long before a guard ran into the room. “There’s been another murder!” The guard called, everyone stopped partying and ran outside. They ran out the front of the Market District, there was a man in Black Hand robes. He was part of the Dark Brotherhood. Giovanni searched the body and found another Writ. “It’s the same guy. How did he find this guy so fast?” Giovanni asked. “I don’t know, but the body was killed very recently and was moved.” Lex said, he picked up the body and had a look at the victim’s back, which had a massive cut in it. He had a look at it more closely. “He had been cut a few times but managed to escape; he had run for a very long time and had found some water, which he drunk. The dagger had hit him in the back while he was running and then his throat was slit… Elven dagger again.” “How can you possibly know that?” Giovanni asked in disbelief. “I know he had drunken water because his hands are wet and produce no smell. He had been running for ages because he was sweating. The back was cut before the neck because the wound has scabbed more then on the neck” Lex said, answering Giovanni’s question. “Wow, this guy is good.” Giovanni said. “And he’s targeting Dark brotherhood members…” “Isn’t that a good thing?” Lex ignored the question and studied the body. ‘I’m going to catch this guy,’ He thought, ‘The grey fox will have to wait.’ |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| Brian S | Mar 15 2009, 12:54 AM Post #8 |
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Lore Editor
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Sanguine is not the god of the Dark Brotherhood |
![]() In the reflection of your glasses lies the luminescent screen of the television projecting unto your synapses the distorted vision from behind the eyes of corporate contrivances pleading between their cold metal fingers for control which in your advertisement-enslavement you repay tenfold whilst the world spirals into oblivion around your desensitized body and in this cacophonous euphoria we all die and we all die alone. | |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 15 2009, 12:55 AM Post #9 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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I was alerted to that earlier. It is sithis.. But thanks for putting it forward. |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| Brian S | Mar 15 2009, 01:00 AM Post #10 |
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Lore Editor
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Besides Sithis isn't real anyways |
![]() In the reflection of your glasses lies the luminescent screen of the television projecting unto your synapses the distorted vision from behind the eyes of corporate contrivances pleading between their cold metal fingers for control which in your advertisement-enslavement you repay tenfold whilst the world spirals into oblivion around your desensitized body and in this cacophonous euphoria we all die and we all die alone. | |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 15 2009, 01:00 AM Post #11 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Is that so? |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| VickyD | Mar 15 2009, 01:05 AM Post #12 |
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Flying Penguin
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Sithis is odd and I have decided to not bother trying to understand it. I have just chosen to quote this every time I need to explain him: He is the Void. Everything which is suffering is Sithis. |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 15 2009, 01:07 AM Post #13 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Yes.... Sithis is hard to explain. |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 23 2009, 06:41 AM Post #14 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Chapter 3 Unknown Area 18 years ago. The boy looked up at the imperial man, who held out two swords for the boy to choose from. “Choose wisely my child, for this is what you shall use for the rest of your life.” The man said in a soft, gentle voice that seemed to bounce of the walls of the cave. The boy leaned over and pulled out the man’s dagger from his thigh. It was a beautifully made elven dagger. The man hit the boy and he flew into the wall. “You little bastard! Touch only what I tell you!” The man threw up his hands and an enormous fireball gleamed into existence, which was thrown at the boy. He thrashed around as his skin became burnt and his black clothing was shredded, revealing the naked form of a 7 year old. The child began to cry, and that was not tolerated. The old imperial walked over and dropped the dagger in front of the boy. “Take it little one. I will not be so forgiving next time!” The imperial walked away as the child’s eyes showed happiness and he played with the dagger, thinking it was merely a toy, and was not the tool of his own agenda. Imperial city Present day. Giovanni looked at Lex, awaiting the answer to his question. “Well?” Lex looked up and stared into Giovanni’s blue eyes. “No, it is quite a bad thing Giovanni.” Lex said, expecting Giovanni to already know the answer. He looked back at the body and tried to replay the scene. The man had been sent on a mission, to take someone into the dark brotherhood. He came as they slept, like always, and awoken the sleeping figure, who pulled out a knife and cut his arm. The Dark Brotherhood ran for his life, he had been sliced a few times but managed to overtake his opponent and run away. He hit the imperial sewers and began to drink the water. A dagger slammed him in the back and he slumped to the ground. Once again, the killer sliced his throat and stuffed a writ into his pocket. The killer then dumped the victim’s body outside of the market District; no guards were in patrol at that time. Lex looked up and motioned a guard over. “Who said you could go off duty earlier today?” Lex asked, his eyes piercing those of the guard. “I don’t know sir.” The guard said, his voice was laced with fear, not deceit. Lex looked away and remembered the mark on the Dunmer. He took off the top of the Black Hand Member and saw the dagger once again. Giovanni eyed the tattoo “Why the tattoo?” “I would have to say that this guy is killing the dark brotherhood because of religion, this tattoo must mean something to him and his cult. This tattoo could provide the answer we are looking for.” Lex said. He looked up to see Giovanni nodding his head in agreement. “That fits well with the killer’s murdering style, yet one thing is still unanswered, why the Dark Brotherhood?” “I don’t know… We need help with this one, and I know just the person.” Lex grinned and Giovanni understood exactly what he meant, there was only one man with all the info, and that was the Grey Fox. |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| vanir90210 | Mar 23 2009, 04:09 PM Post #15 |
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Budding Lyricist
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A few mistakes, mostly only like capitalizing letters where you shouldn't have, and that kind of thing. But you did say, 'he drunk some water,' whereas it should have been 'drank'. Otherwise, quite an interesting story. |
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Spoiler: click to toggle ![]() "I look at the eyes, straight to the soul doorway"
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| Dark Slinkie | Mar 24 2009, 03:52 AM Post #16 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Didn't even notice Thanks vanir. |
Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| Dark Slinkie | Apr 5 2009, 08:50 PM Post #17 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Chapter 4 Imperial city Present day. Hieronymus Lex waited in the Imperial waterfront district. It had been 3 days since the last killing and Lex was out of evidence. He needed some answers. So he was waiting here for his greatest enemy, The Grey Fox. Right on schedule, the grey fox jumped off the top of the abandoned shack and stood face to face with Lex. The cowl had stitching in it, as though it had been made for a new user, it was probably not the real Grey Fox. “Lex, nice to see you. What can I do for you?” The grey fox said, He was obviously being sarcastic. “I need your help, have you heard about the killings?” Lex asked, straight down to business. “Ah… that I have. My sources tell me that the two victims have been of the dark brotherhood, correct?” “Yes, I think that the Morag Tong will be next…” “This guy has already started on the Morag Tong; there have been killings in Morrowind.” Lex’s face spread with horror, this guy was a maniac. “I have to catch the bastard…” “Well I suggest you get the first boat to Morrowind and meet up with Sugar-Lips Habasi in Balmora, I’ll send word ahead.” “Thank you… But we still have a score to settle.” “Looking forward to it.” And with those words, the grey fox ran into the night. Lex looked up at the boat that was to take him to Seyda Neen; it was named ‘The voyager”, but it looked like it deserved the name “Drowned”. It had wood that was soaked with water and the captain said that the crew does kind of get spooked easily. Lex was shown to his quarters, where he immediately hit his hammock and fell asleep. A few hours later, a dark elf ran into Lex’s room and declared that they had reached Morrowind. Lex bounded out of his hammock and snatched up his belongings. He then ran outside the ship and was greeted by an imperial guard. “Hieronymus Lex? What the hell are you doing in Morrowind??” The guard asked with a look of confusion. He was young so that explained the confusion. “There have been murders; I am here to stop them.” He answered and the guard immediately stopped gawking. Lex walked past as the guard watched him go through the door into the Census and Excise office; it was a fantastic room, with elegant carpet and paintings on the walls. A man in a robe was standing before him; he introduced himself as Socucius Ergalla. “If you would sign these papers, I can let you into Morrowind.” Ergalla said, he made no reference to Lex but he couldn’t stop staring at him. Lex signed the paper and handed it to Socucius, who swiped it up in his hands and showed Lex through the door. Within 30 minutes, he was finally out in the open. The early dusk of Seyda Neen didn’t look that spectacular compared to the Imperial City, but it was a new land for him. Lex walked forward and asked for directions to Balmora. He was told to get a ride from a silt strider. Lex walked up the hill and came face to face with his first silt strider. It was an amazing creature. It looked like it had been bred for transport with controls and seats on its back. “Where would you like to go sir?” A Dark elf said. He was sitting in the silt strider, waiting for Lex. “Take me to Balmora.” Lex said, he jumped into the silt strider and the thing came to life, floating through Seyda Neen and making its way to Balmora. It was now early morning; Balmora looked beautiful in the early sunlight. The houses looked enchanting and even Lex could compare it to the beauty of Anvil in the morning. He walked off the silt strider and immediately made his way to the South Wall Corner club. He opened the door and walked in. The place looked like a dodgy area. There were a few thieves and they looked up in surprise to see Lex standing at the door. “I need to see Sugar-Lips Habasi.” He declared. “Well, Grey fox sent word ahead of your arrival, Habasi welcomes you to Morrowind.” A Khajit said, she was wearing Chitin Armor “I need information.” “Yes, of the murders. There have been 2 in Vivec City. Both have been Morag Tong. The Dark Brotherhood is suspected.” The Khajit threw a purse of money at Lex. “Take this money and go to Vivec, Grey Fox commands Habasi.” Lex bowed low and walked out of the corner club. He needed to get to Vivec, the chase had just begun. Edited by Dark Slinkie, Apr 5 2009, 08:51 PM.
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Bloodbath, The Ultimate Battle For Survival![]() The Rp of Thraksheir Thraksheir, land of magic | |
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| aceball69 | Apr 17 2009, 11:30 AM Post #18 |
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The Ace
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very interesting story. i like how you involved morowind as well as cyrodiil. i also like how you integrated the Gray Fox and Lex, two huge rivals. its a good story and you have me on the edge. i want to know what happens next. the chapters are short, but i like em like that.
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"This might just feed the mother of all our needs" Tri-shards of Weye- My first mod's unoficial WIP thread. check it out! Best Oblivion Mod Ive ever stumbled across- Deadly Reflexes 5 How Cyrodiil SHOULD have been designed- Unique Landscapes | |
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| The Bean | Apr 17 2009, 01:56 PM Post #19 |
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Forum Kommisar
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Not a bad part Slink. Decent dialogue and the spelling seems fine. Looking forward to more Slinkie. |
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| Dark Slinkie | Apr 18 2009, 01:18 AM Post #20 |
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Anubis, Lord of the council
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Thank you for your kind words gentleman. Next chapter shall be up today. |
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7:49 AM Nov 8